My name is Nicole or (Our Moments Together), and I never really had a childhood of dolls and fun or just being a kid basically. I am older now and whenever I look back to those days I realize how far I have come and how strong I really am.

My mother got divorced twice before she met my dad and I was born. I am the youngest of 5 kids. My two oldest brothers are only half brothers. I would have had two twin sisters but my mother had a miscarriage. The oldest memory I have of my mother is the day she broke her leg. She was fixing the blinds just above the stairs, the ladder she was on wobbled over and her leg got caught in between completely snapping her bone as she and the ladder tumbled down the stairs. I just remember it falling and everyone running around panicking. You see I was only about 4 then the only thing I understood was that mommy was hurt and Daddy was upset. She stayed in the hospital for a few weeks after the incident. Once she was home we thought everything would be back to normal, boy I couldn't have been more wrong. The doctor had prescribed her a pain medication called Morphine. For those of you who don't know its a very strong pain pill that is given to soldiers who have amputated limbs. It is a very addictive drug. Not to mention my mother was a drinker.
Over the next three years my mother kept taking morphine and several other strong pain killers when she didn't need it, my dad has told me that after a while she just didn't have the mind to stop as in she was mental or something. During these three years my mother stopped making food for us and she just laid on the couch daily. The house never got cleaned, us kids were never taught right from wrong, to brush our teeth, clean up after our messes, or to even take showers. So we never did any of it. We constantly skipped out on school because our mother didn't care and our dad did't know. whenever my mother did go out (barely ever) she would write fake checks in my fathers name. He went to jail several times and was always working.
Considering we never had anyone to clean up and we didn't do it the carpets and bathrooms accumulated mold. There was rotten food just laying around. It was disgusting! I always had food poisoning at least twice a month and that lasted a week or so. My other siblings would eat the junk food in the cabinets so they were getting chubby while I was too thin for my own good. I hate to think back at those times I can't stand it. Several times the police came to our house and we hid because our grandmother (mom's mom) was threatening to have child services split us up and rip us from our parents. I thought my family was normal that everyone's house was like ours. Yah not at all:( My mother got us in a car crash during this time period. She fell asleep while driving and we crashed into one of those school poles that they keep in the parking lot. I was the olny one who got hurt because I didn't have a seat belt on I just nearly broke my nose, I was thrown forward into the drivers seat face first there was blood everywhere and thats i remember. In November of 2006 my mother was getting really sick and she had been before but never this severe. i recall on several occasions waking up in the middle of the night around this time to find my dad holding her hair as she threw up her life. I was always a daddy's girl so I tried helping him with her. It kept getting worse and worse then in December one night. I wanted to play a game with my siblings but they refused to let me play. So I went down stairs to help my dad again. She could no longer walk on her own and just was slouched against the wall in the bathroom. My dad was cleaning up some fluids she had produced on the floor. I don't remember if i helped him clean it up but when he was done he turned back to my mom and started freaking out and I was really confused. He yelled at me to go get the phone and he was touching her neck and wrist. I came back and he had moved her to the toilet. My seven year old mind finally registered that something was seriously wrong. I ran to my brother and sister and said something along the lines of 'mom stopped breathing, or something's wrong with mommy'. Everything happened so fast my brother took action immediately putting me in one room and my sister in another telling us to stay calm and just wait. My sister got sick because she got worked up and was hyperventilating. The ambulance came and I think I walked out of the room to as they carried her out on a stretcher. We stayed at my grandmothers house for two weeks Christmas past and then four days later we hear the news that they had to let her go. My mom had died on December 29, 2006. I didn't cry because I didn't understand. Once I did though tears were in full flow. My dad told me that that was one of the hardest things he had to do, tell us our mother was gone. It took a year or two but we slowly moved on as a family. My brother Ryan told my dad to get back out there in the dating world. I am so glad he did this because my dad met my current step-mother. Unfortunately my brothers didn't agree with her no crap attitude so Ryan lived with our moms mom. Everything was slowly coming into perspective and we were starting to be happy again. But there is always something right? In April of 2009 ten days after his 18th birthday my brother Ryan died in his sleep. This was so hard to move past, He died because of a bad mix of medication and how he drank. I loved him so much he was such a great friend and brother:( I guess this snapped something in my other brother we lived with because he stated to lash out and him and Judy constantly got in fights. One time it got physical, he pinned her to his bed and started punching her. Its not the first time he's tried to hit a family member. He tried to hit me a few years before I locked the door but he broke it. anyways its frightening, I started to freak out when he hit her so I walked/ ran downstairs and told my grandpa (dads parents) [My dad was sent out of state for work and still is there today, that's why he isn't here] He walked up stairs and threw my brother against the book shelf and yelled 'i will not be related to a man who hits a women, you are not a sundin' I was shaking through it all. Lets just say my homework didn't get down that night.

My brother ran away a few weeks after that (2011 about), and we haven't heard from him sense. My grandmother kept taking us to court about how or dad isn't fit to be a father and was trying to gain custody over us. Thank gosh she didn't win though. I hate that women she prefers guys over girls so she always hit me not so much my sister but she was so sweet to the boys. I was sick of it:( After the whole court battle and he ran away our step mom adopted us.
I was finally able to breath, for a few years at least. Before school started last year my grandpa that lived with us, was told he has cancer. Lung and brain, they removed it from his brain and were going to do chemo on his lung. On September 15th Our mom got called during church, We got some bad news:( Her dad had gotten into a trucking accident and died in Texas. Just imagine this I was finally happy but stressed and worried because my grandfather living with us had cancer, my dad wasn't home still working in Louisiana, and my other grandpa just died. I felt like my world was being ripped out from beneath me. I kept asking myself why this happened why any of my life happened but couldn't come to any conclusion so i just shut down. We flew out to Texas for a week and took care of everything leaving my other grandpa with cancer at home. I hated doing that because I didn't know how much more time I had with him. One week back in school and I was slowly getting better being happy again thanks to my friends. Exactly two weeks after my other grandpa died my grandpa with cancer died. On September 29, 2013. My sister woke me up saying he was up all night throwing up and sort of went into a comma state. I saw them carry him out into the ambulance. My grandma and stepmom went with them and we waited at home for a call. One I was dreading to be perfectly honest because i knew he wasn't going to make it. We get the call and I just kept yelling No and ran up to my room and sat in the corner of my room crying and kept whispering no repeatedly. It was all too much, I couldn't handle it. A bunch of family came out and now a year later my Grandma is slowly falling apart at the seems with the funeral coming up. She also went to the hospital recently they told her she HAD TOstop smoking or else. She got depressed and started saying how none of us love her and how she wanted to die and leave, how she should have died with her husband. We knew it was the withdrawal speaking but she was getting out of line. Yelling at everyone all the time. Finally I snapped I have never been that angry before. I told her that she was lucky to have us and that all we are doing is trying to save her life. That some people don't have anyone to care about them and you are going to be that selfish to say we don't love you! I am getting mad just speaking about it. The funeral is coming up in September and I am definitely not looking forward to it. I mean who would though. I look back at everything and see how far I have grown as a person and how fast i had to grow up. It sucked quite frankly but it has shaped me into the person I am today. I have such great family and friends who have helped me stay sane who I appreciate to the end of the world and back.

The whole point of my story is that I have been through some pretty rough things that can be hard to move on from, but you just need to remember that life moves on and so should you. Accept the things you can't change. That is the only way you will ever be truly happy. And no one deserves to live a life of misery and sadness. We all lose loved ones and all can relate to the deep utter pain you can feel so we should all just come together and be there when something like this happens. I am sorry for the loss of those who have lost family members they loved. I hope my story helps you to move on:) Keep smiling everyone!

I feel honored that you entrusted me with your life's story; it is truly inspiring. Very few people have the capability to over come tragedies such as yours, but you did and became a stronger person because if it. I only wish I could be even slightly as strong as you one day; one can hope. But any way you are a true hero, not because you saved someone else but because you were able to save yourself through some of the toughest things a person, not only your age, but any age, has to go through. So once again thank you for sharing your story with me.

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Notes

I feel honored that you entrusted me with your life's story; it is truly inspiring. Very few people have the capability to over come tragedies such as yours, but you did and became a stronger person because if it. I only wish I could be even slightly as strong as you one day; one can hope. But any way you are a true hero, not because you saved someone else but because you were able to save yourself through some of the toughest things a person, not only your age, but any age, has to go through. So once again thank you for sharing your story with me. -- Lauryn

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-----If you want to share your story with us, write it all out, and then message me and I will post it. ------

::Info needed::
Full name ( or anonymous if you want):
Your Story (what is going on in your life?):
note:

---

We will have discussions, support groups, daily discussion topics anything you need. I just really wanted to have something to give back to everyone.

Please join and share YOUR story...
Please don't be shy this I will make this a safe place for people to talk about life...

::DISCUSSION TOPIC OF THE DAY::

If you have started school, what grade are you in and what have been the best and worst moments of going back?