~Luke~

“Dear Mikey, Luke, Calum, Ashton, Chantelle, One Direction and whomever else this concerns,” I read aloud, confused as to what this letter was about, and more importantly where Lily was. She had been crying when I found her and Harry, and instead of being a good friend and comforting her, I was forced to continue living my ‘pop star’ life. Where in the world was she?

“I’m so sorry about leaving you all so abruptly but I just need some time away, a break to think without being surrounded by you all the time. That sounded bad. I love your company and I couldn’t live without you but with everything that’s been going on – I just need to be away from it for a bit, to think over my options. Many of you won’t understand because you are unaware of what those problems are, etc. but please respect my privacy and refrain from discussing it freely (if you have any clue what goes on in my life – honestly, I’m not even sure myself). I know this may sound like I’m running away from my problems but I just hope you can understand my decision – I’ll probably be back before you know it. If it makes you feel better I will be with my sister. Please don’t come and find me – I’m serious about just having some time away – or contact me over the phone, social media, etc. You all mean the world to me and I wish you luck for the concerts I won’t be there for. I promise I will be back as soon as I see fit. Until then, best wishes and good luck (or break a leg). Don’t have too much fun without me and try and stay out of trouble. I will see you when I see you.
Love you all heaps and I’m sorry about this – I hope you understand and don’t hate me too much.
Lily xo”

But there was more.

“Calum,

“Do you want to read this yourself man, or can I just keep reading it?”

“Just keep going.” I nodded and continued to read the letter.

“Calum,
I cannot thank you enough for the past few months. We’ve had fun – but when do we not. At this point in time, however, I need a break from us. This doesn’t have to be the end of us altogether but I don’t want to keep dragging you along with me when I’m not in the best position mentally. I know we had a plan when we got into this relationship but that also doesn’t appear to be working out, and I can’t help but question it and us every day. I love you, you are my best friend and I hope you can understand this as well – I apologise for not doing this in person but I just had to leave. When I return we can discuss where we want to go but for the time being feel free to find someone else, someone better than me for you. I’ll accept you no matter what. Until I see you again, good luck with everything and I really hope you aren’t too upset or hurt by my decision.
Love,
Billy xo”

Fuck. “Cal, I’m sorry.” I told him, turning to my brother. No matter how much I envy his relationship with Lily I can’t help but feel for him in this moment. He will always mean a lot to me no matter what girl comes between us.

“It’s fine Luke, I’m fine.” He told me before storming off and slamming the door. He’s such a liar. I let him have time to think over this all though, he doesn’t need me around right now. I sat down on the couch in the dressing room and buried my head in my hands.

“This is all my fault.” I mumbled peering at Ash, Michael and Chantelle through my hands as they eyed me, trying to figure out what I meant by my cryptic statement. Gabrielle had disappeared somewhere and at present time I could give a shit where she was. “I saw her, her and Harry were locked outside and I let them back in. She was crying, I knew something was wrong but Jim forced me to go on stage. I’m a terrible friend – I could have comforted her and helped her through whatever was wrong instead I went on stage to rock out or whatever you want to call it. Fuck.” I ran my fingers through my quiffed hair, messing up the work of the stylists. Not like I care at this time though.

“Luke, it’s definitely not your fault. Lily is a strong-minded women and she would have left whether you had stopped to talk to her or not. She said she needs time alone and I agree, this is probably for the best and it’s Lily, she’ll be back before we know it. She’ll be alright Lukey. You’re not a terrible friend.”

“But what the heck do we do about Cal, he’s probably devastated?” I asked the pair as the glanced at each other.

“Let us handle it, all you can do is be there for him and prepare for Lily’s return. Focus on the music if that helps. It’s not the end of the world and they will work out their differences eventually. Just don’t worry Luke.”

Because they really expect me not to worry about this situation. Right.

~Lily~

I awoke to high pitched screams early the morning after the concert, after I left. Confused, I found myself crawling out of my sisters spare bed approaching her kitchen where the squeals of what sounded like happiness were emanating from.

My niece, Katrina, who was about one now, was running around the kitchen squealing and roaring at Craig as he pulled faces at her and cooked something on the stove.

“Smells good,” I told a startled Craig. “Sorry,” I giggled and Katrina laughed with me. He picked up his daughter and began walking towards me.

“It’s fine, I’ll just have to get used to having someone else around here for a bit. You’re up early, she woke you didn’t she. Sorry, I’ll try to keep her screams and roars down tomorrow.” He said with a nervous chuckle. “It’s a new thing and I’m not sure what started it but it’s what she does most of the day.”

“It’s adorable, and I don’t mind. Don’t worry about it Craig, I’m the one intruding here, and why would I be worried in the first place, she’s my beautiful niece and I love her. Isn’t that right cutie?”

Katrina giggled. “You’re not intruding.” He frowned slightly. “Kat, say hi to Aunty Lily.”

“She can talk?” I asked surprised but he shook his head.

“She tries to, she’ll get it eventually but most of the time it’s just babble. She’s said dada and mama though which Sarah and I are happy about.”

“You guys are adorable. Can I have a cuddle?” I asked and Craig nodded, passing Kat to me. She began to pull at my hair lightly and press her hands to my face. “Have you set a date for the wedding yet?” I asked as he went back to cooking and I settled myself onto one of the bar stools.

“Oh, um, yes, but Sarah and I wanted to talk to you about that today so I will leave that conversation for a bit later. Do you want some breakfast?” He offered and I nodded, accepting his offer graciously.

“She likes you.” Sarah told me, taking a sip from her coffee and gesturing to her daughter who was sitting on my lap as we sat at a café. Another few days had passed and I was still trying to figure out my feelings. Scratch that – I knew what I was feeling I was just trying to work through how I was going to handle it and what actions I needed to take. I felt bad, taking up my sister’s space, especially with where she is at in her life – wedding planning and caring for a child. She claims she doesn’t mind but I still feel bad. There’s also the issue that the concerts on the road again tomorrow and I’m not exactly ready to go back.

“I would hope so,” I joked back and she rolled her eyes at me. It was refreshing being here, surrounded by family and children. This was definitely the right decision but I know I can’t hang out here forever. I felt like I was finding that parts of myself that I had lost throughout this year. The scary thing is that we aren’t even halfway through yet. I miss everyone back on tour a lot though, it’s also extremely hard to be away from them. And I promised to go to Australia and New Zealand with the boys on their own tour there. I was so conflicted and I honestly just wished it would all go away or become really easy. Life wasn’t like that though, unfortunately.

My phone buzzed with a text from my mother, I had let her know a few things so of course she was ‘oh so worried’ about me, even though she didn’t need to be. Before I could lock my phone, Kat had wrapped her tiny hands around it and was pulling it from my grip. “What do you want to look at sweetie?” I asked her as she looked at the screen and flipped my phone around a bit, giving it a shake.

“She likes taking photos and looking at them.” Sarah informed me causing me to bring up the camera app. Kat focused on that for a few minutes before she started shaking the phone around a bit again.

“Here baby,” I said, taking the phone from her for a few seconds and bring up my pictures. I held onto my phone but place it in front of the baby, flipping through some of my photos. I went back to my conversation with my sister as my niece seemed contented with my photo flipping. “I’m so excited that you’re getting married.” I told her with a happy smile, I’m glad at least one of us has our life under control.

“Me too, I’m glad you accepted being my maid of honour. I know we don’t see each other enough but I wouldn’t want it to be anyone else.”

“After tour and your wedding we will have to get together a whole lot more. I want to be in her life as well.”

“Yeah I totally understand, and it will be even easier to do that then.” I looked at her with a confused expression. “Craig got a job offer, it’s amazing and it’s in London so guess who’s moving to London? Well, at least a whole lot closer than we are now.” I gaped at her.

“That’s going to be great, I can’t believe it. We will have to go house hunting or something, if I’m around and you haven’t already got it covered that is.”

“When the time comes I’ll let you know, but you’ll probably be half way around the world doing what you do best, well almost since you won’t actually be on stage. It’ll be sometime before the end of next month.”

“If I can help I will, alright?” she nodded and I focussed my attention back on Katrina who was fussing around a bit. “What’s wrong sweetie?” I asked her even though she probably didn’t understand. I noticed that I had stopped flicking through the photos so I assumed it was that causing me to assume my actions. She started thrashing around even more and trying to pry my hand away from the phone. I gave her back control and she managed to flip back through the photos to the one I had originally stopped on. It was a photo of me and the boys from one night when we were going out not too long ago. She began pointing at the photo, specifically the boys, so I proceeded to tell her their names. “That’s Michael,” she nodded moving her little finger from the bright red haired lad and to his bandmate. “That’s Ashton, Calum,” she skipped me and moved to the blond haired boy on the end. “And that’s Luke.” She giggled.

“Loot!!!” She exclaimed clapping and I laughed.

“No Kat, Lu-ke.” I enunciated the ke for her.

“Loot, Loot, Loot.” She mumbled happily and continued scrolling through the photos mumbling ‘loot’ occasionally.

“Has that situation improved at all?” Sarah asked me and I shook my head.

“I haven’t spoken to any of them. Calum’s tried to get in contact with me multiple times and Michael has text me twice, I’d rather not think about it though. Just for a minute. I asked them not to contact me so I’m a bit annoyed that they didn’t respect what I asked from them. I can’t do anything about it though.”

“It will all work out eventually.” That’s what everyone’s been telling me.

Before I could respond Kat started up with her ‘Loot’s’ again but this time a whole lot louder. She also managed to slide herself out of me arms and off my lap and run off from us. I got up, taking off after the little girl running away on her small legs calling ‘Loot’ out for no particular reason. I gasped when she began to trip over in front of some guy, reaching out to grab her as he did the same. He back off, allowing me to pick up the girl who was still giggling and say ‘Loot’. She must have moved on from her roars.

“Sorry, I didn’t want her to trip.” I would know that awkward voice anywhere.

“Luke?”

“Lily?”

Notes

Hi guysssss!
Sorry this is a little late, I was in the car all day yesterday going on holidays so it was a bit hard to upload this chapter then :)
I hope you all like the chappie.
What do you think will happen next? And isn't Kat adorable?
I can't believe it's Christmas eve already - I hope you enjoy this holiday period and have a fab day tomorrow (if you celebrate Christmas) - and if I don't update before the new year (I'll be spending heaps of time with family I never see and doing some stuff for my birthday) I wish you all the best for the upcoming year :)
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You're all amazing in all different ways and I love you all <3
Until Next Update,
Merry Christmas!
Much Love,
xxg