~Lily~

“I cannot believe that we are leaving for tour in less than a week. I can’t wait to see all the boys again. Do you think Harry will let me play with his hair?” I’m not exactly sure how, but the boys had gotten their hands on a load of lollies and chocolate, and I was currently sitting in Ashton’s lounge room on a sugar high. “Harry’s so pretty don’t you agree? I think we would look really good together.” I asked no one in particular.

“Hello, boyfriend over here.” Calum said, gesturing to himself and I rolled my eyes.

“Who cares?” I shrugged before rolling around on the floor in a giggling mess, which isn’t unusual so the boys and Telle were not concerned.

“You would cheat on me for Harry Styles?” Calum asked in a mock offended and shocked voice.

“Duh, who wouldn’t? You would be dumb not too. Have you even seen what he looks like? Dayum.”

“You are such a loser,” I shot Calum the ups and climbed up on the couch next to Luke and snuggled into his arms.

“Luke, Calum’s being a meanie.” I pouted and relaxed into his body even more when he properly wrapped his arms around me.

“Calum, that’s no way to treat your girlfriend, I’m stealing her until you can act appropriately.”

“But-”

“No buts Calum, suck it up. And while you are at it, can you go get us some food?”

Calum rolled his eyes but got up nonetheless. “Fine, what do you all want?” We all gave him our orders for pizza and he was on his way, not before sending glares in Luke’s direction and informing him that he would be taking me back on his return, to which I stuck my tongue out and told him I liked Luke better which happened to be half true anyway.

In the meantime, Michael went to sit on the veranda – still struggling to get over Danielle – while Ashton and Chantelle went to continue packing in their things.

“Are you excited for the tour?” I asked Luke as I moved to lay my head in his lap, looking up at him. He began to run his fingers through my hair before responding.

“Yeah, it’s going to be absolutely crazy. I can’t believe we are already doing stadium tours. It’s so amazing – this opportunity we have been given. I’m glad you’re coming with us too, you’ll make it way more fun.” I blushed lightly and turned to look at the blank television.

“I’m glad I’m coming too, aren’t you going to miss Gabrielle though?” I pried hoping to get a negative response from the boy.

“Probably not, management will probably send her over to visit occasionally. Plus our break up is going to be over the duration of the tour so that will need to happen sometime. We were supposed to break up around this time so I’m just holding out for that bittersweet moment.”

“That’s kind of sad that you are waiting to break up with her, I know we don’t like her and all but it’s still upsetting.”

“I know, but I’ll be glad to have one less responsibility on my back. Do you think you and Calum have a future ahead of you?” He asked casually.

“I guess I should be hoping so but I really don’t know, I’m just taking everything a day at a time and secretly I just can’t see it all working out. It’s just a feeling and I think I need to let him go before we both get in too deep and are really hurt at the end.”

“Why haven’t you done it already?” He asked quietly, the tone of both our voices changing each time we talked, the conversation feeling almost taboo.

“Why haven’t you told management you want to end it with Gabrielle yet? Pressure. I kind of feel the same with Calum.” His face contorted into one of concern.

“He’s not being obsessive and controlling is he, I can talk to him if you want. I know he can be a bit of a dick sometimes.” He mumbled the last sentence as if it was not meant for my ears.

“No, it’s nothing like that. I just feel like if I give up on this relationship, Calum, you and the others will give me grief about it and will be disappointed in me. I don’t really want to deal with that. And won’t it be awkward on tour and all?”

“Have you guys slept together?”

“Uh…” I trailed off awkwardly, not exactly sure how to answer his blunt question. It’s not like Calum and I have slept together while we’ve been in this relationship…

“Sorry, that’s personal. I shouldn’t have asked. It’s just, the two of you barely act any differently towards each other than when you were just best friends, you just like kiss and stuff. You were already sharing beds half the time, and you would sit on top of each other and all of that. The only thing that could make it weird on tour is if you guys have you know, done it. Shit, I should just stop talking, ignore me.”

“It’s fine Luke, I understand. As long as you don’t tell anyone I tell you something.” He nodded and moved his fingers out of my hair and reached down to lace our fingers together in a comforting manner. “Years ago, I think I was sixteen at the time, you guys had been a band for over a year at that point and so Calum and I were really close by then. Calum was over and we were just mucking around, drinking a bit, and somehow we got onto talking about sex and how we were both pretty inexperienced. One thing led to another, and well, that’s how Calum became my first. After that it was a little awkward but we ignored it and just moved on. We haven’t done anything since, even now that we’ve been in this relationship so I don’t think that will cause any problems.” I avoided looking at Luke’s face, scared of his reaction. Would he be hurt, disgusted, angry? Why did I have to tell him that? Now he’s going to think that I’m the biggest slut.

“Hey look at me, don’t be embarrassed or ashamed.” He told me, gently taking my chin and turning my face to look at him. “We all have a first. Aleisha was mine. It doesn’t really matter who it was as long as you were comfortable with the person, and you and Calum have always been really close. Don’t beat yourself up over it, I’m glad you told me, it’s probably good to have gotten it off your chest after all these years.” I moved to sit up and face Luke, not realising how close this would bring us.

“Thanks Luke.” I murmured as I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and went back to playing with his fingers as I had previously been doing.

“For what?” He asked in a cute, confused tone.

“For not thinking that I was a slut or anything. And for listening.”

“Are you serious Lily, of course I don’t think you’re a slut. I know you and I would have to be crazy to think that of you. Don’t ever say that again. And if you think you should break up with Calum, he’ll understand and you’ll get through this whole thing. You always do. And you never know, the right person for you might be around the corner, or right in front of you and you don’t even know it.” He stared at me with such an intensity that I couldn’t look away and I was struggling to breathe. His eyes flickered down to my lips and mine did the same to his. We made eye contact again before he began leaning in, slipping one of his hands from mine and placing it on my hip while I rested my now free hand on his chest. I was about to let my eyelids flutter shut when the door crashed open.

“I’m home guys, come get your food.” We flew apart and acted like we were watching the TV, which unfortunately happened to be blank still, not helping our situation anymore. “Why are you guys being weird and where are the others?” Calum asked as he dumped all our food on the table in front of us.

“We’re not being weird, Michael’s outside and the love birds are packing. I’ll go get them if you get Michael.” Luke told us in a monotone as he got up from the couch. Shit, we really didn’t think this through did we? Now it’s going to be so awkward now, worse than normal. Luke lifted himself from the couch and slammed the door to the living room shut behind him as he left. Fuck.

“What’s really up?” Calum asked squatting down on the floor in front of me.

“Nothing Calum, I’m going to get Michael. Don’t eat anything.” I sighed, a bit disappointed in both myself, for almost cheating on my fake boyfriend, and Calum, for walking in on us before I finally had the chance to feel Luke’s lips on mine.

~Luke~

I had to be so fucking dumb. I really had to be so fucking dumb didn’t I? I almost broke up two of my best friends because I was being a selfish prick. I can only be thankful to Calum for walking in before we could do anything stupid, even if I’m extremely disappointed that I couldn’t finally have my chance with Lily.

It’s not like she’ll ever like me though, I’m me and she’s with Calum. I don’t really believe her when she tells me that she wants to end it with Calum. Come on, she was his first. How the heck did I not see that coming? I punched the wall beside Ashton’s door and cursed. I’m the biggest fucking idiot in the world.

Ashton must have heard me outside as he poked his head out of the door, his eyes widening when he noticed me grabbing my hand, face contorted in pain. The pain in my hand wasn’t even bothering me, it was more what was going on in my head and my heart than anything else. “Shit Luke, why’d you do that?”

“I’ll be back,” I mumbled as I walked past him and into the kitchen, grabbing a bag of frozen vegetables and resting it over my hand before I went back to their room and found a seat on their messy bed. “I almost kissed Lily, and then Calum walked in. It’s not a big deal, anyways, our foods ready so let’s go back.”

“Are you okay?” Chantelle asked and I shrugged, inspecting my hand so I didn’t have to look at the couple. “Luke it’s alright to be upset, and if it makes you feel any better I ship you and Lily together over her and Calum.”

“Well it’s not like she would want me anyway, she has Calum, what more could she need?” I asked sarcastically.

“Was she responsive to your actions?” I nodded reluctantly. “Well, there you have it Luke. Don’t give up hope okay buddy. And don’t be rude to Chantelle because you’re hurt and upset.” I mumbled an apology and was almost going to listen to Ashton and not give up. That was until we got back to the living room. Michael was sitting in the corner scrolling through twitter on his phone. Lily and Calum, on the other hand, were mid make out session, something I really didn’t need to see. Lily’s eyes flickered to mine when we walked into the room, a guilty and upset look spreading across her beautiful features but I just rolled my eyes, more at myself than her. Why would I even let myself get my hopes up? It’s always been Calum and it always will be. Why do I even bother? I checked my phone and pretended that I received a text.

“Shit guys, Gabrielle wants me to come over. Would it be possible to just grab some food and run?” They nodded and I headed for the kitchen Ashton in tow.

“I know that hurt, but you don’t have to go. I know you are not going to see Gabrielle. Don’t give up on her Luke, that’s the worst thing you could do in this situation.”

“Why Ashton, he always gets in the way, I’m so over this shit. I need to get out of here, it hurts too much.” I told him as I grabbed a bag out for my food.

“You’ll get through this and it will all work out, I promise. Just give it a chance to play out. And if you don’t want to do that, do it for me. Don’t give up on Lily until the end of tour, that’s all I ask.” I huffed and agreed with him, knowing that I would probably never give up on Lily. We headed back to the living room and I focussed my attention on the food that I was getting together instead of the other people in the room, until I heard a gasp from Lily.

“Shit Luke, what happened to your hand?” Of course she had to fucking notice. I tied the bag up and headed to the door.

“That’s a story for another day. I’ll catch you guys later. Don’t miss me too much.” And I slammed the door shut behind me, slid down the wall and buried my head in my hands. I hate this all so much. Why can’t she just be mine?

Notes

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