Gone

I made sure the bathroom door was shut and locked before I sat down on the lid of the toilet and shut my eyes.
"I'll do anything you want," I whispered, name your price,"
I just hoped that Niall trusted me enough not to follow me. I couldn't handle him finding out. Finding out like this though would no doubt be the worst way.

What came next was definitely not a surprise but a rather nasty damn-it-I-knew-that-was-going-to-happen kind of moment. I realised a little too late that I probably should've specified what I had meant by anything because he had definitely gotten the wrong idea, or more like a wrong idea.

Either that or he was just trying to test my limits. Well, I was sticking to my guns and there was absolutely nothing he could do or say to change that.
"I don't think that one night with me is not too much to ask for. You do this for me and I'll keep my mouth shut. If you don't though, I'll fill him in, making sure not to leave out the juicy details. You know I'll do it. It would be a mistake to doubt me,"

Unfortunately he was right. He'd have a hidden agenda though. The reason he'd do it would be so that he could break me and Niall up and then have me rush back into his arms because apparently that's what I did. Total bullshit if you ask me. If Niall broke up with me I'd most likely...well...to be honest I don't know what I'd do. He'd kind of become my main focus over the course of our relationship.

That was it, I was giving up. I didn't care if Niall found out, I wouldn't do that to myself; I couldn't do that to myself. I had made a fool out of myself in front of Josh, pouring my heart out to him and then trying to sleep with him when he didn't even love me back.

This was the same guy who had lied to my face about taking my virginity while we were both drunk at my own birthday party for crying out loud. And so now he expected me to spend the night with him. What was I? A prostitute? No, there was no way I'd let him come anywhere near me with the way he'd messed around with my head.

He had told me he loved me before he kissed me. I'd almost believed him at the time but now that reality had caught up with me, I finally remembered that Josh didn't have feelings. He was shallow, manipulative, and dating Amber. He really couldn't do much worse than that. It was the harsh but honest truth. They were just as bad as each other.

Notes

DoNe