(The Flashbacks are in italics)

As if I couldn't feel any worse about the situation. 'I want you to be able to share anything with me'. Yeah, like that was going to happen. I refused to tell him about the kiss. And I definitely wouldn't be mentioning how much history we had. To Niall's knowledge, Josh and I were just frenemies who had fake slept together at my Sweet Sixteenth. I wished that was all it was. It would've been so much fucking easier.

We gazed up at the sky, watching the clouds float past us slowly.
"That one there looks like a rabbit," I pointed up at it, "if you turn your head on the side,"
I giggled as he did so.
"Come over this way a bit, you'll be able to see it better,"
He shuffled towards me, sitting up with his arms over his legs and his face pointed towards the sky.
"Where?" He smirked sarcastically, "I don't see it,"

Now he was just being silly. I pushed him onto his side playfully. For a moment he acted like he was in pain but I knew better. A mischievous grin crept onto his face as he tickled me on my waist underneath my ribs. I was now laughing hysterically. It was like he knew that it was my most ticklish spot. He started chuckling too.

It was probably because I was now laughing so hard that no noise was coming out. I was just lying there, clapping like a seal. I couldn't breathe and my stomach hurt. It was in a good way though. It wasn't like that awful feeling you get right before you jump off a cliff or something. I mean, not that I'd know.

Well, if I was being honest with myself, that was a lie. I did know what that was like. I experienced it first-hand last year. I didn't go through with it though. It really wasn't a big deal. I'd felt a little bit shaken up after breaking it off with Josh and had been having a few problems at school and home so I needed some air, you know, to cool off a bit. The house I'd lived in at the time had backed onto the ocean so naturally, that's where I headed.

It was night time so I was pretty much the only one there. I hadn't gone straight for the beach though. There was this cliff that overlooked it, right next to the stone stairs. I usually went there with Josh and we'd sit on the seat near the railing and watch the waves crash on the rocks. Not this time though. No, I had other things on my mind.

The salt water wind whipped my cheek as I stood on the seat and leant over the edge of the barrier staring at the rocks below me. Tears fogged my eyesight but I knew it was a long way down.

Before I could jump and be done with my life, Josh had stopped me just in time.

"Admit it, I'd be doing everyone a favour,"

He probably knew where to find me because it used to be our 'spot'. He was in a strange mood. He told me that I would be hurting a lot of people. Apparently not him though because when I'd asked him if he would miss me, he wasn't just hesitant to reply, he avoided the question and made it about himself.

"...Why are you doing this? Is this because of me? Because I can't help that I don't love you or care about you. It's really not my fault,"

This only made me more upset as you could probably imagine.

"You're so full of it. I'm about to take my life and you're making this about yourself. I don't know what's worse: You thinking I'm doing it over you. Or you telling me you don't care for me, and then trying to convince me people would be upset over my death,"

I would've jumped right then and there if he hadn't have called my parents. I was rushed home and haven't been to that beach ever again.

Notes

DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!