Down The Hall.

When Harry pressed his pink plump lips against mine, it was something I'd never felt before. It was pure passion, with magnetic feels. His lips tasted like a cigarette. God he was so cute, I wonder what we would become after this. Oh no. Memories flooding back in my head.

"You're never good enough."

"You're a piece of shit Bray."

"Nobody will ever love you."

Harry finally stepped away, and gave a small smirk. He came back in closer, as I pushed him back.

"Whats the matter?" He asks.

"I can't do this, Harry." I frantically speak.

"What do you mean?" He says.

"I mean, I can't kiss you, without thinking about you being my boyfriend." I say, with all my pride and confidence that slowly fades.

"Then why don't I become your boyfriend?" He winks.

"I'm not ready." I speak truthfully.

He stares at me for a good few seconds. He studies my face, as if searching for a lie. Holding back the tears, immediately breaks as he continues staring; wiping the hot small droplets of water, Harry comes in for a hug. His huge torso, towers my small body. He smells like cologne and cigarettes, but it's still intoxicating. He wipes a tear, my mascara is running. How embarrassing. I quickly pull away, and go into the bathroom. I look at myself. I'm a hot mess. I wash my face, and take a few breaths. I walk back outside, and he's waiting on my bed.

"I'm sorry for that, I have small breakdowns and-"

"No, it's fine I should be the sorry one." He speaks low.

I nod, and sit in the chair for my desk. It was quiet. Not an awkward silence- a peaceful silence. I wasn't looking at him, but I could feel the green, piercing orbs on me. I then got up and grabbed a book. The Perks of Being a Wallflower. I guess I- in a way, related to Charlie. The breakdowns, the feelings, the books, and the rejection. I opened the book but before I could start reading Harry broke the silence.

"Read to me." He smiles.

I cleared my throat. "August 25, 1991. Dear, Friend."

~

Harry shortly left but I continued my book. Stephanie came back, and I told her everything. She's starting to become a really good friend of mine. Only because Liv isn't here. She comforted me, and we decided to have a girls night. We also invited Eleanor, Perrie, and Danielle. Since they were girls we wouldn't get in trouble. (Boys weren't allowed after dark.) Eleanor brought movies: Frozen, Mean Girls, and The Breakfast Club. Danielle brought the muchies: large pepperoni pizza, a tub of ice cream, and donuts. Perrie brought blankets and cigarettes.

"So whats going on with you and Harry?" Danielle winked.

"Nothing. I just don't want a boyfriend." I spoke.

"Oh, bad boyfriend exprience?" Perrie asks.

I nodded my head and took a sharp breath. "I guess you could say so." Holding back tears. God, I can't talk to somebody without having a breakdown.

"Bray are-"

"I'm okay, I just need some air." I barely choked out and left.

I walked down the hall, and got a lot of glares from girls. Girls I didn't even know. A lot of whistles too. I walked outside, and a cool breeze slapped me in the face. I deeply inhaled it, and then I found a lighter in my pocket. I sat on the bench, and started flicking the lighter.

"Didn't your parents ever tell you to never play with fire?"

I looked up and saw Stephanie. She handed me a cigarette, and smiled. I personally have never smoked a cigarette. It was just something I didn't like. But there's always, a first for something right? I lit it and stuck it in my mouth. I inhaled it, and breathed out. It was actually very soothing.

"You know you can talk to me about anything right? You're my new friend and I don't want you to think I'm a stuck up snob." She said.

"You're not a stuck up snob Steph." I laughed. "Yeah I know I can, but it's just something that will scar me forever." I speak slowly. "I haven't even talked to my parents about it. Nobody knows the full story."

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asks sincerely.

I think about it long and hard. I mean it's been over two years. and I've talked to absolutely nobody about it. I'm a senior, I have to talk to somebody about it. I nod.

"I was a sophomore. I was the popular kid. My family always had drama, and to ease it off drinking helped. It was my anti-depresant. One night, at a party, I met a guy. His name was Edward, Ed for short. Oh god he was beautiful. He had warming brown eyes, that perfectly complemented his blond hair. Anyways, we became friends, then later started dating." I spoke every word carefully, as she digested it.

"The first few weeks were amazing. He was loving, and caring. Then one night, he wanted sex. I told him 'No, I'm a virgin.' and 'No, please I'm not ready!' But he didn't listen... For crying out loud he raped me Steph." I started crying, and nothing stopped her from joining me.

"And he said if I broke up with him, or if I told anybody he would kill me. If I talked back to him he would beat the living shit out of me. But a part of me still loved him you know? This one night, we went to a party. And apparently, guys were checking me out. Which was complete bullshit because we were in a room full of girls. But anyways, that pissed him off and he started hitting me. Later some guy came in and started beating him up." Tears were falling faster and faster.

"The guy is now in a coma, and Ed is in jail. That's it."

Stephanie was crying. I hated when people felt sympathy for me. Like you crying doesn't change what happened.

"You know what Bray. I was raped too. I was at my best friends party. And I got raped by her dad. Her fucking dad! Thank God, Niall came in and beat the fuck out of him. Thats how me and Niall actually got together."

I smiled and nodded. We continued crying and smoking. We then went back inside and finished out girls night.

Notes

Hey guys! It's me beyonce (:

I'm going to really focus on this fanfic for a while. I need some new ideas for the others haha. I hope you liked this chapter! it took a while aha.

ily bye xx