Harry remembered his first day at the North Shore Hospital just west of London, his mother had taken a cab from their hotel, it was only the two of them sitting in the back seat, trying to ignore the Arabic driver who was humming along to the radio station he was absorbed in. Harry’s hands were balled into fists, his anxiety was high obviously. He didn’t want or think he needed to be admitted, he was fine by his own standard.

Anne puckered her freshly painted lips together, before turning to face her depressed son. “They say it’s the best treatment facility in the country.” She told him, he nodded and looked down at his new shoes, a bribe from his father he guessed when he opened the wrapped shoebox a few nights before. Harry’s family had been torn apart after his attempt, they all blamed themselves at first before blaming each other. His sister wanted to accompany him on the journey but she had her A levels to focus on.

A million thoughts shot through his head as he watched the surroundings outside the window, a layer of fresh snow blanketed the previously green fields, the air was cool and gloomy, making Harry only want to go home even more.
“We bought you a phone card, so if you need to call home you can.” Anne tried to converse with him once more.

It seemed Harry just didn’t want to speak up, and who could blame him? His parents were shipping him off to a hospital filled with other self mutilating freaks, who probably thought they had something in common with him, when really they didn’t. That’s what Harry thought anyway. He looked at her, nodding again as he ran one finger along his scarred wrists, remembering each line like it was a symbol for memories. One’s that he wished to forget.

The car pulled up outside of the hospital, the man turned down the music as Anne opened the door for her son, carefully pushing his thighs, wanting him to get out. Harry gave her a spiteful look as his feet landed on the musty ground, flakes of snow bristled over his new shoes.

“I will be back in ten minutes.” She told the driver, who shrugged and turned his music back up to his usual volume. She placed the bag strap over Harry’s shoulder, drooping his duffle down beside his body. He grunted and turned to face the building, the car park was full, both staff and visitation parks. His mother smiled at him, which he didn’t return, before grabbing hold of his tightened fist and lacing her fingers with his.

Harry’s feet shuffled up the steps, as he turned back to watch the driver dancing. He rolled his eyes. How could a man like him be so happy with a shitty job and bad taste in music, when someone who had almost everything, was hurting so badly on the inside? The reception desk was occupied by a pretty lady, who had long curly hair, she reminded him of his sister. He liked that. Peazer, her name tag read.

“This is my son Harry.” Anne introduced as she handed over the boy’s papers. Harry zoned out on the boring medical talk, and instead his eyes scanned the room. It looked so clean and proper, not that he had been expecting anything less it just felt different than he expected.

“Hi Harry, I’m Dani.” She smiled up at him, interrupting his thoughts. Harry choked on his words not expecting people to be so genuinely nice. She wasn’t putting on an act, he just couldn’t work out if it was only because it was so early in the day or if she was just naturally friendly.

“Nice to meet you.” He mumbled, looking up at his mother’s tired eyes. He hated that all her stress was his fault, her sleepless nights and how he knew she had stopped seeing her friends after his incident. Like she thought having friends was something she didn’t deserve.

“I have just told your Mum about your floor, there are some really great kids up there. You will fit in just fine.” She grinned. Harry mentally groaned at the mention of kids, he knew she didn’t mean it in the way he took it but still, he was sick of being referred to in that manner.

Instead he smiled and thanked the pretty lady, a nurse rushed past them. Obviously late for work, “Perrie!” The receptionist called out causing the blonde to turn back around. “Don’t dob on me.” She smiled cheekily. Dani chuckled, and shook her head. “Harry is your newest patient.” She explained, causing the one named Perrie to grin.
“Oh golly! Nice to meet you, I am Perrie, Edwards.” She shook Anne’s hand; Harry loved the uncertainty in his mother’s facial expression. She doubted Perrie’s professionalism. Not Harry though, he already loved this woman, didn’t help that she was young, and hot.

“I am Anne, Harry’s mother.” Harry smiled up at Perrie, clutching his bag that still hung over his body. Perrie grinned and started telling Anne all about their program, not that Harry was listening.

“So, I will take you to your room” She told Harry, making Anne grip onto his hand. Harry nodded and turned to face his mother. “You can go home now Mum.” He told her, knowing that she wanted to meet his therapist, and all the other staff members, but he hated that idea almost as much as being there in the first place.

“I promise to look after him.” Perrie told her, rubbing Harry’s shoulder as they both looked at the older woman waiting for her approval. Finally she gave in after an adventurous debate rammed through her thoughts. Harry smiled and kissed her cheek. “I will call.” He whispered as she pulled him in for an emotional hug.

She didn’t want to let go but Harry made her, it was easier that way. “The driver is probably onto his encore by now.” He joked, her lips turned upward in a gentle smile, as tears fell down her wrinkled cheeks.

“You behave okay? We will come and visit in a month’s time.” She promised, leaving a sticky lip imprint on his cheek, he resisted the urge to wipe it away, as she finally let go and waved him goodbye. Perrie called out to her, safe travels and all that other adult gabble that Harry had learnt to block out.

“I am going to help you beat this bitch.” Perrie told him in the elevator, it took him a second to figure out that she meant his depression, causing him to laugh out loud.

“ I've been trying for years.” He admitted, she shrugged and patted his shoulder playfully.

“But you’re not Perrie Edwards.” She beamed, causing him to smile, he may have just been assigned the best nurse ever, his very own guardian angel sent to save his soul. He knew then that maybe this hospital deal wasn't going to suck as much as he had first thought.