You Gave Me Love

He was so tiny, his small round eyes scrunched tightly closed, his hands red and wrinkled. I stood there speechlessly staring at one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen.

“You can pick him up.” The nurse smiled at me, reaching into the crib and pulling my son out, a small noise fell from his lips and I was so entirely smitten with everything he was.

I took him gently, his smallness a constant reminder of how vulnerable he was, how easily I had almost lost him.

The nurse helped me back down into the chair beside the crib, my lower abdomen protesting weakly as the stiches were pulled but the baby in my arms took all the pain away by one small sweep of its arm.

“I’ll be right outside if you need anything.”

The baby snuffled and his face screwed up but I cooed quietly, humming a random tune that played through my head. His face calmed and a yawn fell from his mouth. I grinned and pressed my lips to his brow. I never wanted to be away from him again.

“Mum?”

I looked up towards the door too see Elizabeth and Edward standing there, holding hands and staring at the baby in my arms in wander.

“Hey guys, come here.” I said softly, waving them over from the doorway.

They were hesitant at first before hurrying over and crowding around the chair. Both of their eyes focused solely on the infant in my arms, he gurgled and made small noises that both twins delightedly reacted to.

“Where’s Dad?” I asked, expecting him to walk in the door at any moment.

“He stopped to talk to Nanny.” Elizabeth whispered barely loud enough for me to hear.

I smiled at her fondly trying to hide my disappointment. Harry had barely been in the same room as me since I had been allowed to move around. Granted I still needed a wheelchair but more often then not if someone else wasn’t here to do it a nurse was willing. Harry had been spending further time away either with the twins or with the new baby. I wasn’t jealous, just hurt.

“What’s ‘is name?” Edward asked, his eyes peering over the armchair, a quiet seriousness in his eyes that made my heart warm.

“Not sure yet honey. That’s something we need to decide of as a family.” I hoped that Harry would at least be able to be in a room long enough to talk about it.

“We get to name him?” Elizabeth asked with a squeak, her excitement bubbling through.

“As a family.” I repeated myself sternly. She was stronger with her opinion then Edward and more often then not she would steamroll over him. He already had a quiet nature and I worried that he would let her get away with too much if I continued to let her voice herself louder.

Anne appeared at the door and I watched waiting for Harry to follow but by the look of sympathy on Anne’s face, I knew he wasn’t coming in.

“How about I help you two hold your baby brother huh?” Anne smiled, walking in and receiving cheers from the twins before they quickly stopped shooting guilty glances towards their younger brother.

I smiled and watched as Anne helped them both up onto the other armchair in the room, squishing in side by side before she came to collect the little boy from my arms to gently place in theirs. They were so gentle and both their faces stared reverently down at their little brother. I couldn’t help the tears that sprung up at the site of all three of them. They were gorgeous and perfect and the best accomplishment in my life.

“Kids, they never stop making you cry.” Anne sat down on the bed near me.

I laughed softly, not moving my eyes from my three children.

Talking about kids, are you and my son ever going to stop fighting?” Anne asked, her tone light but I could feel her hard gaze.

I deflated in the chair and turned towards her. “I stuffed up.”

“You did.” She replied instantly, her eyes narrowing.

“I didn’t mean for the twins to hear.” I told her, keeping in mind the level of my voice now.

“But did you mean it?” I didn’t want to answer her question but I wasn’t going to be able to avoid answering.

“Am I allowed to just a little bit? I’m allowed a little bit of insecurity.” I told her firmly. I was allowed to hesitate, to second guess, to worry.

“Not with my son.” She said strongly. “After all these years you cannot second guess Harry. I thought this was finished between you two, that this mistrust was done but this whole time you still think Harry would leave.”

“I don’t think he will leave.” I said exasperated. Anne had never been so against me, had always been supportive like a mother, never taking sides between Harry and I.

“Don’t you? Isn’t that exactly what you said? He has proven that he loves you and that he would never leave you and from where I’m standing it’s you that is hurting him. We’ve all let you both sort this out and forgive each other but this time you need to understand how hurt Harry is. He doesn’t even want to look at you right now, let alone talk to you.

Anne’s words ripped through my heart, twisting and pulling with viciousness and co-ordination, knowing every spot to hit, repeatedly and with increasing strength. She was angry and refusing to hold back.

“Harry sent me in to bring the kid’s out, he’s taking them home.” Anne stood up and I tried to protest.

“But they just got here, I’ve barely seen them since I woke up.” I made to rise from my chair but the tugging sensation at my abdomen stopped me. I gasped from the pain and placed a hand firmly against my stomach.

“Mum?” Edward’s lip wobbled, both his and Elizabeth’s attention focused solely on me.

“It’s time to go, you mother isn’t feeling the best and needs to rest.” Anne picked up the baby and placed him back in the crib, away from me before beginning to usher both children out the door.

I fought through a smile and waved to them, trying to calm their worries.

“You should go back to bed.” Anne said dismissively, leaving the room with the two people I needed most right now.

I took a deep breath and held it, leaning my head back against the chair before slowly releasing it, my hand still pressing against my abdomen, the painful puling on the stitches had soothed slightly, leaving a dull pain in it’s wake.

Harry didn’t come in.

-

“How are you feeling?” Lacey asked from the doorway, placing a quiet, pointless knock on the wall before proceeding inside my room.

I turned from staring at the small baby they had finally allowed to stay in my room and focused on Lacey.

“Harry won’t see me and hasn’t brought my kids in for three days and on top of that he only ever sees his newborn son when I leave the room for appointments. So, I’m peachy.” I deadpanned to Lacey.

“I heard about all that.” She gestured vaguely, walking towards the crib and cooed down at my still nameless son, a point I was beginning to grow angry at. If Harry wouldn’t talk to me then I would name him myself, the hospital was bugging me everyday for a name on the birth certificate.

“Apparently it’s all my fault.” I said lightly.

“That’s not true. No one believes that.” Lacey said, moving to sit next to me on the bed.

“Well Anne believes it and Louis was in here the other day having a go at me for it so yeah I think everyone does believe it. Especially since you’re my first visitor all day and visiting hours started five hours ago.” This was the first day I had been so alone and if I didn’t have a child with me I might have broken down. I felt like I was losing my family and all I could do was sit in a hospital bed and let it happen.

Lacey hovered, seeming unsure how to approach me before falling forward and pulling me into a hug. I clung tightly to her, burying my face in her hair and allowing the familiar smell to comfort me. She was family and she was still here.

“Thank you,” I said to her, “for coming still.”

“Hey you were always there for me. You were willing to be my bridesmaid for Edmund; I’m never leaving you alone okay? You always have me.” Lacey promised, her hand tightening and my heart soared with gratification.

“Have you thought about a name for him?” Lacey gestured to my son.

“I’ve been thinking about Jackson.” I told her, my eyes staring at the crib.

“Your maiden name?” Lacey voiced and I nodded in turn.

“My parents died when I was young and they never got to be a big part of my life but I would like them to still be a part of my family. So since everyone gets Harry’s last name I though he could have mine as his first. Jackson Harry Styles.” I told her earnestly.

“I think Jackson really suits him.”

“Good because it’s not like Harry cares.” I responded, bristling at Harry’s stubbornness that he will barely come to see our child just because I was in the same room.

“So you’re just never going to talk to each other?” Lacey asked, her tone implying we were being ridiculous.

“I’m scared and he’s pissed. It’s not like either of us are in great listening moods.” I told her with an eye roll.

“And you’re both stubborn as fuck so you were practically doomed from the start.” Lacey smirked at me and I wanted to correct her, tell her she was wrong. But I didn’t actually think she was. “When do you get out of here?”

“Two days?” I replied. “We both do.” I gestured towards the baby – possibly Jackson.

“Do you want me to come and get you?” She asked gently and I hesitated before nodding. I had no guarantee that Harry would come, I didn’t even know if Harry knew we would be leaving. No one had brought my mobile to me. I had no way to contact anyone unless I had the hospital call Harry. But I had a feeling he wouldn’t care either way.

“You guys really are in trouble aren’t you?” Lacey asked, voice small and worried. I nodded, tears building when I looked at her. She had no idea how scared I was that Harry had finally had enough of me.

-

Zayn and Lacey were early so I left them in the room with baby Jackson and went out to the nurse’s station to sign the paperwork that was necessary. Jackson’s birth certificate was at the bottom of the pile and I still hadn’t made up my mind whether to sign it off without Harry. I needed to do it before we left though.

I finished up and handed over all the paperwork, leaving the baby certificate sitting there, exceptionally blank.

“Did you really think I would just leave you and our son here without a ride home?” I turned towards the voice. I hadn’t seen Harry in days and he looked about as shit as I felt. His clothes were ruffled; his face unshaven, his hair lifeless and the most obvious was the bags under his eyes. I assumed that I looked exactly the same.

“I didn’t even know if you knew what day we had to come home.” I defended; shocked that he was standing in front of me, talking.

“Of course I knew. I’ve called the hospital every day with updates on the both of you.” I gaped in shock at Harry’s admission.

“How on Earth was I supposed to know that?” I asked him exasperated, throwing my hand up and turning back to the birth certificate ready to ask for Harry’s signature.

“You’re naming him Jackson? Did you even care to ask me?” Harry demanded, reading the document over my shoulder. I grew angry at his words.

“I would have if you were here. If you cared enough to see your son.” I growled back at him. He ignored what I said and reached over, snagging a pen and quickly signing his name at the bottom before stalking off down the hall. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply for a moment before turning back and signing my own name.

The nurse offered me a small smile when I handed the document over but I was too weak to respond. Merely turning away and heading back to my room. Lacey and Zayn were hovering awkwardly to the side while Harry picked up the only bag in the room before reaching in to grab Jackson.

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay going home with him?” Lacey asked me, her eyes worried.

“I don’t really have much of a choice do I?” I shrugged. “You guys should go though. Thanks for coming.” I smiled gratefully at them both. Zayn squeezed my hand comfortingly before nodding at Harry. Lacey pulled me into a quick hug, squeezing tightly before following Zayn out the door.

I stood there watching as Harry cooed to Jackson and swayed backwards and forward gently before his eyes rose up to meet mine. My stomach rolled at the way they hardened.

“I didn’t want to sign the certificate or decide without you but I didn’t have a choice the hospital needed it done.” I tried to reason with Harry, my tone pleading.

“You always did hate that your name wasn’t apart of theirs.” Harry said gently; his tone refusing to give his feelings away. “I guess now you have one child you can always hold over me.”

It would have been less hurtful if he had punched me.

“That’s not true.” I whispered but he ignored me and walked out the door. I felt on the urge of breaking down but I turned and followed him out of the room, trailing steps behind him. Jackson peered over Harry’s shoulders at me and I held his gaze needing the strength to walk out of this building and go home with someone who hated me.

Notes

Hey guys so I had an idea from a comment I had received a couple of weeks ago asking about Skye's parent's (which I will be doing a chapter of shortly) and I was thinking, since all these chapters are just thoughts I had had about the future and some parts I wrote whereas others just floated around my head. So if you guys actually have a question that wasn't answered in any of the tree stories, or a certain character's point of view, someone's history, more information on a new character or old, or even just a scene repeated while they're older just comment or message me. This universe is so big and I wrote so long ago that there are things that I forget about so if there is anything you want me to write about let me know and I'll write you a chapter for it :D
Enjoy (and yes I know drama drama!)
xx