You Gave Me Love

[i]Just a heads up, the cab just dropped Louis home.[/i]

I closed my eyes briefly before closing the text from Eleanor and continuing to make the sandwiches for the twins: one with chicken, cucumber and a whole helping of mayonnaise and the other with Vegemite and cheese. I smiled proudly at Edward’s love of Vegemite whereas Elizabeth couldn’t stand the spread.

I couldn’t carry all the plates into the living room where the twins were watching a movie; instead I called them in watching as they filed obediently through the door, grabbing their individual plates and heading back into the living room, I followed with their drinks.

There was a pile of blankets and pillows spread on the floor. A little nest for the kids to squish themselves into while I sat back on the couch picking up the book that I had been trying to read before grumbling stomachs got in the way.

It was pouring rain outside and the steady beat on the roof and windows had become a calming background noise. I curled up beneath my own blanket, tucking my toes in and opened my book. I couldn’t read the words in front of me however, my ears pricking up for any noise that could be hear from outside despite how pointless I knew it would be to hear anything over the rain.

It wasn’t until I heard the front door shut did I relax, surprising myself with how tense I was. Neither of the twins noticed, too enrapt in their movie, sandwiches long eaten and plates discarded next to the blanket nest.

I waited impatiently until Harry finally appeared in the opening to the back living room. His hair was matted to his forehead and his clothes stuck to his body in appealing ways. His skin was pale and his nose looked cold and pink. I wanted to hug him: wet clothes and all.

I stared at him unblinkingly, my book long forgotten and dangling from my hands. Smiling at him softly, despite the anger that had been coming from both of us while he was away I was happy and relieved he was home. I only got a small smile back before Elizabeth finally noticed her father in the archway. Her little squeal and scramble across the nest alerted Edward to pull his attention from the movie.

My heart warmed when Harry bent down, embracing both children tightly to his body, pressing kisses all over their faces. The room was filled with squeals and laughter but Harry’s face was relieved and more tears rolled down his cheeks then rainwater.

The baby in my stomach took this moment to kick, sharp little jabs just below my ribcage and I placed my hand against it, bringing it into the family moment as well. Harry had caught the gesture and his eyes stayed glued on my stomach.

“Why don’t you all go upstairs and get changed now that you’re all wet then we can come and finish the rest of the movie.” It took a while before both kids were willing to separate from Harry. I was honestly surprised with how quiet they were being instead of their usual yell every moment that he missed out on while he was gone.

Harry headed to me when both twins thundered up the stairs. He took care from dropping any water onto the nest made and crouched down on the floor next to me, his hand instinctively reaching out and rubbing my large covered stomach. He reached forward and pressed a small kiss to it, resting his cheek along the side. I could feel his cool skin dampen a spot on my jumper.

“I missed you.” Harry murmured, pulling his face away and I reached up, wiping a few pieces of hair back from his forehead.

“I’m glad your home.” I told him earnestly, leaning forward and pressing a chaste kiss to his lips, placing my hand over the one that rested on my stomach. There were loud footsteps from above and then yelling.

“I’ll go.” Harry sighed, pressing one more kiss to my lips and quickly heading out of the room. I exhaled and sunk down in my seat not even trying to read the book again. Instead I stayed on the couch silently listening to the noise above. Thumps and heavy footsteps, a few squeals before Harry’s firm voice followed by silence. I smiled and rubbed my stomach soothingly, it felt like constant fireworks carrying on like the baby new that it’s father was home.

“Calm down.” I mumbled groaning as a particular foot pressed hard against my stomach.

“You okay?” I looked up at Harry surprised, his clothes were changed and his air obviously tousled with a towel as it stuck up in every direction. The kids hadn’t followed him down.

“I told them to stay upstairs for a bit.” Harry said, he didn’t move any closer in the door and I exhaled realising that we were going to have this fight, right now. I wanted to be standing for this fight; I wanted to not have a large stomach that prevented me from standing too long for this fight. But instead I turned my feet resting them on the floor so I was sitting properly, facing Harry with a determined look.

“Both of our children seemed to have come to the conclusion that I might leave them.” Harry spoke slowly and firmly. His voice not giving away anything while I closed my eyes, leaning my head back against the couch realising that the moment the kids heard me talk about Harry leaving was the moment I made the biggest mistake. “How dare you tell them that!”

Harry was livid, his hands were shaking at his side, clenching and unclenching like he wasn’t sure what to do with them.

“I didn’t tell them that.” I protested. “They overheard a conversation.”

“A conversation? So what it was okay that you were talking with someone else about me leaving! And on top of that don’t you ever ignore my phone calls the whole time I’m away. Do you realise how worried I was about you and our baby.”

“Then you shouldn’t have left.” I mumbled back in spite, crossing my arms over my large stomach. Harry’s jaws clenched.

“Do you think I wanted to leave? You know I shortened the trip as much as I could to make sure you weren’t alone too long while pregnant.” Harry replied. “I’m doing the best I can.”

“The best?” I blew up, angry with Harry for not understanding how frightened I was. I needed him here. I couldn’t lose him again. “The best you could do was not leave. To actually stay this time like you promised. Not stay for a couple of months then decide on another stupid business idea. Once you guys finished touring that was it, you promised me that was the end of it and now you’re flying off overseas on more business ventures. You broke your promise.” I wished that I could stand up, that I could storm up to him and yell this in his face but I stayed seated, resting a hand where the baby continuously kicked.

“So what you’re allowed to work and have a life but I have to stay here for you!”

“Yes! No! That is not what I meant.” Harry didn’t understand and after all this time I wasn’t used to Harry not understanding me before I even could. “You aren’t supposed to leave me!” We both went silent and my breathing was harsh, I had worked myself up and the baby was going wild, the pain becoming worse.

“Are. You. Fucking. Kidding. Me.” Harry’s words were slow and paced apart, his eyes cast down to the ground before rising to meet mine. I flinched at the anger in them. Harry hadn’t been angry with me in such a long time. “After everything, every time I left I came back and you still don’t trust me.”

I stayed silent, focusing my eyes ahead to the TV. The movie had been paused, waiting patiently for the children to come back and continue watching. I worried for a moment that they might be able to hear us fighting.

“I don’t know what else I have to do to convince you of this but I’m sick of it.” Harry stepped in front of the screen so he could meet my eye. “Every time I have left I’ve come back. Every single time I’ve come back to you.” There were tears in Harry’s eyes and I couldn’t look away. This conversation was a wreck waiting to happen and I was going to be the damaged one, the one lying there in her own pool of blood because I had stuffed up. This whole time and we still hadn’t talked about this properly, how much what I had done was still hurting Harry.

“I come back. I always do but you- you don’t. You left and I came for you, you didn’t come back for me, you didn’t talk to me. It was all on me to go after you so whose the one here that shouldn’t trust the other.” Harry’s voice was rising and I made myself stand up, stepping over the blankets on the floor to get closer to Harry.

“That’s not fair. That was a long time ago and you had fucked up then too.” I reasoned.

“I was protecting you! You on the other hand freaked out and ran across the globe. You stormed out of the fucking house all dramatic and shit and went home. Without a call, text or a fucking email. Yet I’m the only person standing in this room who doesn’t have trust issues. Go figure!” This is what I hated about being close to people. How they knew you so well that at the worse times in your relationship they could drag them out and poke and prod at every scar and bruise that has ever been inflicted on you.

“You tried to hide me away!” I yelled, uncaring how loud my voice was.

“Am I doing that now? NO!” Harry’s voice had risen above mine; he took a step closer when I winced from a particular hard hit against my stomach.

“FINE! I was wrong okay you happy?” I was screaming now, to the point where my throat hurt but I wasn’t finished. “How else was I supposed to act when you fucked everything that had a fucking vagina? So sorry if I thought I wasn’t special enough for you but you fucking knew this Harry. You knew I have problems with this and you decided to chase me across the world anyway. I certainly didn’t ask you to!” Harry took a step back like I had slapped him. “I’m sorry that you got stuck with me and my pathetic insecurities but you chose to marry me and have a life with me and share your family so if you want out just fucking say–AHH!” I doubled over mid-word, wrapping my hands around my stomach, there was so much pain and water, water running down my legs but it was too early way too early. I couldn’t be having the baby yet.

“Skye! What is it? What is it love tell me what’s wrong?” Harry was instantly crouching down in front of me, pushing my hair from my face his other hand hovering around my stomach afraid to touch. His face had changed from anger to softness and worry. I wanted to reach out and touch it but another blinding pain swept through my abdomen causing me to see stars.

“My water—.” I gasped painfully. “B-broke, Har—water broke…” It felt like I couldn’t breathe, a knife stabbing every time I made the slightest motion to breathe.

“Okay, okay everything is going to be okay. Let’s get you to the Doctors. We’re going to be okay…” I tuned Harry out while he stood up, gently wrapping his arms around my body and trying to turn me to the archway but I noticed something on the floor, something painstakingly familiar and heartbreaking. I followed the trail on the floor all the way to my legs; it wasn’t just that my water had broken that was the most worrying.

“Harry.” I said hoarsely cutting of his murmured tone before gesturing at all the blood running down my leg.

Notes

.... cliff hanger... I know but sometimes a writer just has to use them! xx