Sage’s POV

Waking up to a soft snore and warm breath hitting my neck made me want to stay like that forever but I knew I needed to get up. I actually have to pack today this should be fun. Wait, are the guys here? Where’s Liam? What happened last night? I tried to move but wasn’t able to because Harry had his body right against mine and his arm tightly snaked around me.

“Babe” I whispered setting my hand on his. “Harry”

“Huh?” He mumbled moving closer to me, if that was even possible.

“Harry, I have to pee.” I poked at his arm until he let go of me. “Thank you.” I turned around and kissed his cheek before walking to the bathroom.

After going using the toilet and washing my hands, I looked at myself in the mirror. I had a black eye and swollen jaw. Shaking my head, I felt tears rush to my eyes again and I didn’t even try to hold them back. I let them fall as I pulled out my makeup. Washing my face hurt a lot for the obvious reasons.

I put on a light layer of makeup under my eyes so it didn’t look like a black eye but to make it look like I was tired instead. The makeup really worked and it made me feel better about the fight. Before I walked out of the bathroom I looked to the shower and saw my razor sitting there. It was basically calling my name, just mocking me with the relief I would feel if I used it to let some of the stress I was holding, out. I shook my head and walked out of the bathroom and headed for my room again. Harry was still laying in bed but he was awake now and playing with his phone.

“Good morning beautiful.” He mumbled kissing my cheek as I curled up next to him.

“Good morning.” I smiled weakly trying to shut all the negative thoughts down.

“Are you okay after yesterday?” He asked setting his phone down.

“Yea, I’m fine.” I lied.

“Are you sure?” He pried looking down at me and I just nodded. “Good, so what are the plans for today?”

“I need to pack and clean up the house.” I shrugged looking around my messy room.

“Oh yea, we leave tomorrow.” I couldn’t believe he actually forgot but then remembered how bad he was with dates.

“Yea and not to sound rude, but I kinda want the house to myself for a little bit.” I added shyly.

“I totally get it babe, I’ll go wake the boys up and we’ll all leave you alone for today.” He kissed my cheek and got out of bed.


Throughout the day I had to make trips into the bathroom, either to clean it, grab my toiletries or just go to the bathroom and every time I walked in, the razor’s yell got even louder. It was hard to ignore it because I knew I would feel better if I used it but last time I did it and Harry found out, he almost shut me out. Finally I gave in and sat on the edge of the bathtub, leaning over so my blood wouldn’t get on the ground. I picked up the shiny metal and felt my body shutter knowing how nice it would feel. Putting in close to my wrist, I let it sit there like a tease. And with one swift movement, I slid it across my skin and instantly saw blood trickle down. After 4 more slices, I sat back and felt my blood slip down my finger tips. I loved the way it made me feel; it was my own personal high and it made all my stress subside.

After a little while of sitting in the ecstasy, I decided that I’d had enough so I rinsed out the bathtub and bandaged myself up. I walked back to my room and collected up some long sleeve clothes and packed them up. Luckily, we were going somewhere cold so I could get away with it without getting questioned. My phone lit up and vibrated from next to my bag and I saw it was Harry.

“Hey” I answered shyly.

“Hey babe, how are you?” It was like he was psychic or something.

“I’m good, how are you?” I asked picking up a shirt to fold it.

“I’m pretty good. Are you busy?” A horn honked in the distance through the phone.

“Uhh, kinda…” I lied, I was almost done packing and I’d already cleaned up the house. “Why?”

“I just wanted to see you, let me know when you're done.” He was so easy to lie too.

“I will, it’ll probably be about an hour, okay?” I asked throwing the folded clothes into my bag.

“Okay babe, take your time.” He sounded cheery as I zipped up my bag. “I gotta go, I’m driving. Text me when you’re done. Bye.”

“Bye.” He hung up before I said it but I didn’t really care.

With a sigh, I finished packing and laid down on my bed. My head was spinning with crazy ideas about what would happen if Harry or any of the other guys found out.

Harry might shut me out and I’d lose him forever. He’ll never forgive me this time…

Shaking my head, I stood up from my bed and walked to the bathroom again. I opened the window and looked down at the bathroom counter and saw that same shiny razor that helped me earlier. Looking back at the window, I picked it up and chucked it threw the opening. I shook my head again and closed the window.


“You look nice.” Harry complimented looking at the length of my body.

“Thanks babe.” I blushed leaning forward to kiss him.

“We should probably get going.” He looked down at his watch and reached for the door.

I nodded and walked through the door. He led the way to the car and opened my door for me before jogging around to the driver’s side. I buckled my seatbelt and put my feet up on the dashboard.

“So, we’re going out to dinner but I didn’t have to get dressed up?” I asked as he started the car and backed out of the driveway.

“Exactly.” He smiled smugly.

“Can you tell me where we’re going then?” I reached over and grabbed his hand that was sitting on his thigh.

“Nope.” He shook his head and laced his fingers with mine.

“Fine.” I mumbled turning the radio on.

He drove us around for a little bit so I stopped paying attention to where we were going and watched the stars appear as the sun set behind the mountains. I loved the way the sky looked at this time, whenever I watched the sunset I got lost in the colors and felt weightless.

“Babe, are you okay?” Harry broke my train of thought and snapped me back to reality.

“Yea, why?” I lied, I was terrified that he would find out.

“You seem out of it again…” He turned the radio off but kept his eyes on the road.

“Again?” I asked not understanding what he meant.

“The last time you…cut. You became distant and quiet and always wanted to be alone.” How the hell did he know?! “I know that I said if you did it again, I wouldn’t talk to you but I was just mad. And scared.”

“Scared?”

“Scared I would lose you. If you did it again, you could really hurt yourself to the point of no return and I never want to lose you.” He blurted out as he parked the car in the parking lot of an abandoned drive-in.

“Harry, I’m not going anywhere.” I wanted to say I was okay but I didn’t want to lie more than I had to.

“Come with me.” He opened his door and gestured for me to get out too.

I did and walked to the hood where he was standing. He grabbed my hand and led me over to the playground. I sat down on the swing and watched his sit down nervously next to me.

“I wanted this to be more romantic but Sage, I love you. I know I’ve said it before, we say it a lot, but I always meant it as friends but not anymore. I will always love you as a friend but I’ve never felt this for you. You know the feeling I’m talking about. The feeling you get when your heart speeds up and sometimes-even stops just by their name and the explosion of nerves in your stomach, all of it. I feel it for you and I never EVER want to lose you.” He was rambling but all I heard was ‘I love you’ and ‘never ever want to lose you’.

“Harry, I love you too. Like I already said, I’m not going anywhere.” I felt terrible for not telling him so I know that I had too. “But I need to tell you something…I cut today. It was the first time in such a long time and I’ve never felt worse about it.”

“…I should’ve seen it coming. I expected you to be strong and be able to deal with everything. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.” I heard his throat tighten in the fight not to cry. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there to save you.”

Tears welled up in my eyes and slid down my cheek as I wrapped my arms around him from my swing. He did the same to me and let out an uneasy sigh.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there…” He repeated it again.

“But you're here now…” I whispered into his ear as his heart sped up.

The End.

Notes

I'm sad to be ending this story but it seemed right. i loved writing this story. And thank you to everyone for reading, subscribing, rating and just supporting it. You are all amazing. Thanks to all of you, I had a place to vent when I had no where else to go. You have impacted my life, even the silent readers. Thank you so much.

P.S. If anyone wants me to continue this story, I will. Just let me know!!