.Lost.

Maddy's POV
I woke up in my bed cuddled up to Harry. His head was in the crook of my neck, our legs entangled, his arms around my waist. He was still asleep. He looks so peaceful. I missed this.
We used to cuddle and spoon like this two years ago to. I always got butterflies in my stomach. My heart was always pounding out of my chest. That feeling was amazing. He was amazing.

He still is amazing but i just miss the old Harry. It's not that i don't like this Harry it's just......he is so, i don't know, mean and dangerous. I hate it but it's also slightly attractive. I also know the old sweet, loving, caring, gentle, careful Harry is still there. I just know it. They just broke that Harry.
But, he isn't gone. He is still there. Deep down in his heart, hiding. I'd do anything to bring that Harry back. I remember when he was younger and had a lot of curls in his hair. He was so cute. Now he's just hot. Too hot.

"I wish you were back. My old sweet, loving, caring, gentle Harry. I miss you. I know you're there deep down hiding." I whispered and sighed.

"Really?" Harry asked and whispered at the same time in his amazing morning voice. So raspy and deeper. Even more than it normally is. "Eh.......good morning?" I said more like a questions and he laughed.

We stared into each others eyes. His are so beautifully green. I can get lost in them so easily.
"Your eyes are still as beautiful as they always were." He whispered while he still stared into my eyes. Chills ran down my spine.

"T-thanks....they are still the same boring brown..." I said and he smiled. "They are not boring Dell. You see a boring brown but i see a whole different world. A new place. A place with a lot of emotions, memories, sadness, happiness, madness, secrets, lust, longings, curiosity, all locked up in a beautiful color. And that color is brown." He said, whispering the end.

That brought tears to my eyes. Those words were beautiful but at the same time so deep.
"Thanks.....that was beautiful." He grinned at me and i smiled at him.

"So.....Maddy?" "Yeah?" He took a deep breath and sighed. "Did you really ment it yesterday?" Huh... "Meant what?" Where is he talking about?

"That uh........t-that you didn't really l-loved uh........me a-and that you hate m-me." He whispered stuttered at the same time while his voice was shaky. "What!?" "I.....sorry...." He said and i sighed.

"I was angry at you. How could i ever hate you!? I could never ever hate you even if i wanted to Harold." He smiled at me, soon he smiled faded away. "You......you d-didn't answer my other question. I guess it's a no." He said and sighed. A tear escaped his right eye.

"Harry. Don't cry, please..." "No. It's okay. Who would ever want to love me. Why would anybody love me? I'm not lovable. Is it that i can't give enough love back? Or is it maybe my-"
"NO! Stop! Please......stop. I don't want to hear it. You didn't even give me the chance to answer your question! Let me just answer your question, please...." I said, my voice full of emotion.

"No. Spare me my emotions. I already know it's no so just.....don't say anything. Please..." He begged and my heart just broke.

"STOP IT HARRY!! I love you okay! I never stopped. That's why i didn't answer. It's because i still love you. More than you could ever imagine. But it still hurts Harry. It still hurts what you did. You leaved me. You ditched me for those punks. You became a person i wanted to hate but for some reason i couldn't. After these years i still love you while you probably think i'm crazy or obsessed or something. I'm confused. You ignore me for two years and then you suddenly walk up to me as if nothing happened. It's weird and i'm confused. I want answers Harry. I need answers. And.......and do you even know how it feels like when you love someone and they just leave you. Ditch you. Hate you. Don't love you back. No you don't because you are a-" "STOP IT!!" He yelled and i took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for leaving you. I'm sorry for ditching you. I'm sorry for changing into someone you hate. I'm sorry for breaking your heart. I'm sorry for everything. Okay? I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry Maddy. You have no idea. I know how it is when people hate you. When people ditch you. When people don't love you back. I still love you after all these years while i thought you didn't love me anymore. I alwas watched you. Always and everywhere. But, when i saw you with Luke i just......i couldn't do it anymore. I needed you back! So i made a plan. A plan to just walk up to you, act like nothing ever happened and fall in love with each other all over again. I didn't have the balls to walk up to you so that plan didn't go how i planned it but here we are! I love you. I will always love you. I will never ever do something as stupid as i did in the past. I will always be with you. I love you. But, it's your decision. Go on with or without me. You decide. But don't forget that i love you and i never ever stopped. I'm begging you. I-" "Go. Please......just, go." I cutted him off and whispered.

"No. Please. I'm begging you, don't, i need you! I love you. Please..." He begged while his voice cracked at the end. "No, Harry....go. Please, go." I whispered. He needs to go before i'm gonna start crying. "NO! I'm not going!! I fucking need you Dell and i KNOW you fucking need me to!! I LOVE YOU MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF!! I HATE IT WHEN I'M NOT WITH YOU! I FUCKING NEED YOU AND I FUCKING LOVE YOU!! OKAY!?" He yelled and started crying.

"MOM!! MOM!! COME HERE NOW!! PLEASE..........! MOTHER!?" I yelled almost screamed and she stormed into my room. "What the hell is going on here!? I heard yelling but i thought it was maybe the TV or something or god knows what but sincerly it isn't!" She yelled and Harry sobbed.

"Mom.....please..... Stop yelling. My head hurts. Get him out of here. Please.....do it. For me." I whispered again and Harry cried more and sobbed harder.

"NO! Ple-ase........i-i need her! I LO-VE YOU MAD-DY!!" He yelled between sobbed while my mother dragged him out of my room. Then the tears began to fall and terrible sobs left my mouth. Fucking hell!

Harry's POV

She dragged me downstairs into the living room while i was still crying and sobbing. "Sit down on the couch now!" She demanded and i did was she said. She sat down to, next to me.
"Harry.......what the hell is going on!?" He asked me and i cried more and sobbed harder if that was even possible. "I-i..........she i-i lo-ve.......w-e...-" I said between sobs when she cutted me off.

"Calm down. First i want to know the story before i decide to kick you out or not....so....tell me." She said gentle and i nodded. I calmed myself down and sighed.

"Your gonna hate me when i'm finished." "I don't care." Was all she said and i nodded.

"Okay.....well........ Two years ago we bumped into some punks and some deep, serious shit happened there. Long story short, i left Maddy for those punks. It was stupid. I was stupid. But, i still watched her from far away. I still loved her and believe me, i still do. I love her with whole my heart and it hurts to see her hurt. It hurts to see her hurt because of me. I hate myself for it. I want to move on like she tried but i can't. I love her. So......one day i walked up to her and here we are." I said and she nodded.

"Alright. That was stupid. WHY THE FUCK DID YOU FUCKING HURT MY FUCKING DAUGHTER!!!?" She yelled and i gasped. "Play with me." She whispered in my ear and i nodded.

"WELL............I DON'T FUCKING KNOW OKAY!? I FUCKING LOVE YOUR FUCKING DAUGHTER AND I'M NOT LEAVING UNTIL I HAVE HER BACK!!" I yelled back and chuckled. "LEAVE!!" "MAKE ME!!" She laughed and grinned.

"AS YOU WISH! YOU ARE SO DEAD!!!" She yelled and laughed out loud.

Maddy ran downstairs towards me. "MOM STOP! What the hell!? I love him okay? Don't hurt him, please..." She begged and whispered the last part.

"Oh my sweetheart. I wasn't even planning on hurting him. I just wanted to know if you cared. And.....you do. You love him and you care for him, he loves you and he cares for you. Why would you let somebody like that go? I wouldn't. He's trying so hard. Maybe you can forgive him." "No." Maddy protested.

"Then just try okay? I just want my child back. I'm tired of you crying ever single night. Just make up! You two need each other!" She yelled. "I'm going out. You'll see me tomorrow or something." Her mother said and walked out of the door.

"Please Maddy. Forgive me." I begged and she sighed. "Forgive, yes. Forget, never." She said and i smiled.

"Really? Y-you will forgive me?" I asked a little bit too happy. Oh well. "Yes Harold. I will. Now, please kiss me." She said and i nodded.

"As you wish..." I said before walking towards her and kissing her hard. This kiss wasn't just a normal kiss, it was passionate and full of lust.

"I need you Harry." She said. Those were the words i was longing for....

Notes

Here is teh chapter!!
The next chapter might get a little bit dirty ;P

xx -This_Girl_Loves_Styles .