Sometimes I really like the quiet. Like when I’m home for instance, and I just want to be by myself. Also, it means that my father isn’t home to yell about how much of a screw up I am. I like quiet when it’s been a long emotional day and I just want to take nice hot bath, and maybe light some candles. I enjoy those, but not all the time. I debated getting out of bed and going to school on Friday. I couldn’t sleep, every time I closed my eyes I pictured Niall, and Harry and it was the scariest thing to have happened. It’s bad enough to have to experience something like that once, and it’s worse when it begins to consume your thoughts.

That’s why I decided I needed to go to school on Friday. I needed to feel like it was another normal day and that everything was okay, or was going to be okay. I knew it’d be weird, not having Niall there considering how close we got. But I didn’t expect it to be as bad as it was. Maybe I did actually, but I hoped that it wouldn’t be so bad.

It felt as if, as soon as I walked into the building, everyone’s eyes were on me and a silence fell over our unusually loud student body. Then I thought, okay it’s just quiet I can get through this. Then there were whispers. Stupid teenagers think that just because you’re 5 feet away from them you can’t hear the little mumbles they make to their friends about the situation. It wasn’t that they were being rude to me, but they were about Niall. I know I should agree with some of the things they said, but I didn’t and it really pissed me off.

I knew people were thinking I was being distant now if they didn’t before. Not once did I speak, unless called on. And even then I wouldn’t answer the question with anything but an ‘I don’t know.’ In fact, I shouldn’t have brought any of my things because I didn’t open the book or read the notes, and it was like the teachers just let it happen.

Like, they played some fucking sympathy card on me, which was the last thing that I wanted. That doesn’t help, people saying sorry doesn’t help. People telling me they couldn’t believe that this could happen to a person like me, didn’t help. Contrary to popular belief, I know. I honestly just felt like shit. I wanted to have a normal conversation with someone but everyone was making it so hard. They would just stare at me, or watch what they say around me.

Even Louis was acting different. It wasn’t too bad, I mean he still tried to joke around with me, but even he wasn’t acting the same. I tried to put myself in their shoes and see how I would act if it wasn’t me in this situation. I think I know now, that I would try to treat them like I normally would unless they initiated the conversation pertaining to the topic at hand.

The weekend went by as slow as could be. I’d go out on walks or to the store, just to be around people who would wave hello, or smile at me while I walked down isle to isle, just to have regular social interaction.

During the school day on Tuesday, I was called into the office. Thank goodness it wasn’t over the intercom during passing period or lunch, because then this whole thing would be worse, though it had progressively gotten better for me. Rumor has it a bunch of the cheerleaders egged one of the freshman cheerleaders house because she ‘stole’ one of the girls’ boyfriend.

They had told me they found out further information about Niall. That he was in fact sick and he wasn’t in his right mind at the time. His mom had said he wanted to slowly reduce his pain medication due to some problems he was having sleeping at night. Then, she said, about a week before the incident he admitted to not taking any of his prescribed medication at all. I didn’t ask what was wrong, what illness he had, because frankly, it’s none of my business.

She told me how terrible he felt, and in all honesty, I knew he would. I knew something was up, because nice people are nice. He wouldn’t hurt a fly. I felt bad, terrible even, as well. Because I had turned him down almost a week before everything happened. I don’t mean to be cocky or anything, but I couldn’t help but think that this whole thing happened because of me.

I debated for the rest of the week on visiting him, going to the hospital he was still in to see how he was doing. His mom had told me he was better and back to his normal self. I couldn’t go without talking to her because I knew I needed to hear about how he was doing. I needed to know something and make sure he was okay. And she was the only person who would actually have a real conversation with me. And I think that was because we both kind of had an understanding.

So here I was. Standing outside of the hospital room I had spent so much time thinking about these last two days. It’s only been 8 days. I needed to see him, maybe he would have a normal conversation with me as well. I didn’t think he knew I was coming, it was a pretty last minute decision because before I even knew what I was doing I was parking my car out front, taking deep breaths to prepare myself for this moment.

Niall’s mom had walked out a minute ago, and her eyes grew when she saw me. She gave me a tight hug and whispered a thank you before walking back into the room. She was telling him something now and she turned the tv volume down.

“Niall, sweetheart. You have a visitor, I’m going to leave and let them in okay?”

“Who would be visiting me, mom?” he asks her, he sounds tired.

“I’ll be in the cafeteria.” She says before she appears next to me and walks down the hall after nodding at me.

I took a deep breath and pushed my shoulders back. I pulled up my grey leggings and down my black sweat shirt before stepping in front of the entrance to his room.

Niall was absentmindedly staring at the television. He looked the same, well, like he did before last week happened. He was more relaxed, and a calm aura was radiating around the room.

I cleared my throat and he turned his head quickly toward me and his jaw dropped. “Kelly?” he asked, as if I was a figment of his imagination.

“Hey… Can I come in?” I asked, gesturing towards the chair that was in the room.

“Yea,” he says, sitting up straight. “Of course, make yourself comfortable.” He straightens the blanket he’s covered with and his shirt.

I sit down in the chair, and cross my legs to face him.

“I didn’t know you were coming. Why are you even here? Listen, I am so sorry Kelly. For everything, I don’t know what came over me. I never act like that, I just thought I would be okay. But once I kept going I couldn’t stop and I’ll never forgive myself for putting you and Harry in that situation and I know you can’t forgive me either, but it makes me feel a little better knowing that I have the opportunity to apologize. I’ve literally been thinking about it all the time and I know I can’t…” he continues, and I don’t even think he’s taking a breath as he rambles the words as fast as he could to the point where they run together.

“Niall!” I stop him and smile at him, then I giggle a little bit because he looks like he almost got a hit by a car that stopped an inch from where he was standing. “I get it… Well, as much as I can. I knew, I guess, that something was wrong. It was scary, I’m not even going to lie to you and tell you I’m okay. But I will be, okay? This is weird, really weird. But I mean, I forgive you.” I shrug, and looked up at the tiled ceiling. “I’m not one to hold grudges for too long.”

“How? How are you just so forgiving?” he asked.

“What’s the point of not being? It takes up to must energy, and trust me when I say I’m about out of it.” I stare blankly at the wall and we are both silent until Niall takes a breath.

“I think you should go talk to him.”

My head snap toward Niall, who’s looking down at his hands. “What?”

“Harry. I think you should go talk to him.” He look up at my and whispers. “Clearly you’re in love with him.”

I open and close my mouth almost ten times before I just give up and pull my knees into my chest. “How, uh, how did you know?”

“I guess it’s just that… The way you look at him, it’s probably the way I’ve looked at you for longer than I like to admit.” He shakes his head and looks back toward the door.

It was different last week when we talked about this, and I don’t know when it sucked more.

“I’m sorry, Niall.”

“Don’t apologize. I think he loves you too... At least he better.” he says, causing a light laugh to escape me. “but, you’ll never know if you don’t ask him.”

He tells me, and I know he is right.

“Yea. . . maybe I will.”

“Promise me you will.” He says, demandingly, but still with his Niall-charm.

I nod before I even know what I’m doing. “But I don’t even know what I’d even say to him.”

“Tell him how you feel.” Is the answer really that simple? “It’s that simple.” Okay, then.

“Alright. I’m gonna tell him.” I stand from my seat and look over to Niall. “You shouldn’t worry about me. You know, you’re gonna find a hella fine girl, and she’s gonna love you as much as you love her. And then you’ll probably have the cutest little kids. I can see it now!” I try to paint a vivid image and my plan to make him smile a little works while he shakes his head. “Thank you, Niall.” I sit on the edge of his bed and open my arms for a hug.

My head is on his shoulder as he squeezes me a little bit and then pulls away. “Thank you for coming here. It really means a lot.” I nod at him and smile. “Now go! Tell Harry!” he urges and I quickly tell him goodbye and walk quickly and nervously to my car.

Notes

I woke up this morning to your comments and I WAS SO INSPIRED! So SURPRISE, an update less than 24 hours later... actually 12! Thanks for reading you're too cool!

I know y'all want Kelly and Harry to talk, but do you think they're actually going to this time? Give me your predictions.

Have a good day!