Always.

“Kelly!” I hear Harry yell accompanied by a buzzing from my phone. “Turn the fucking alarm off, it’s 6 am and Thursday.”
I roll my eyes and press ‘off’ on my alarm and then sit up in my bed.
“I have never understood how you can sleep through that God awful sound.” He groans, rolling onto his stomach.
“You’re such a baby, Harry.” I shake my head, standing up from the bed. “Are you gonna eat breakfast here?” I ask him while getting a gray v-neck and faded blue jeans from my closet, along with some underwear from the drawers.
“Uh, yea sure.” He mutters into his pillow.
“Alright, I’m going to take a shower real quick, and then we can eat.”
“K, Kel.” he replies annoyed.
I laugh silently and walk into the bathroom turning on the shower.
I think everyone can agree that showers are places of freedom, almost like a safe haven. I don’t have many of those, so I try to take advantage of what I have. As I lather the shampoo and coat it evenly through my hair, I think about everything. Today, I think about the first time I met my neighbor, Harry Styles.
It was in the 3rd grade, well to be technical, it was the summer right before 3rd grade when he moved here from England. I guess his parents wanted a ‘change of scenery’. Okay, that’s cool I guess. But what I have never been able to figure out is why they decided to come to a small town in southern Missouri.
Harry and I hit it off real quick; we were constantly at each other’s houses playing games of hide and go seek, sometimes we’d play soccer, which I was awful at, still am. Then there were the times when I forced Harry to dress up as my prince when we played tea party; it’s funny how great of a friend he was then.
So we’re close, you could say… but, outside of school. Do I know why? No. We’ve just never really talked to each other about anything at school, even since we were younger. At home has always been a different story, almost completely different, and I’m actually okay with it. He’s kind of like a big brother you don’t want to be seen with in the hallway at school anyway.
When we were in middle school, things started going downhill for the both of us. After Gemma, Harry’s older sister, told her parents she wasn’t happy in America and that she wanted to go back to England, Harry was upset. Though she was only in High School, they could tell how unhappy she was, and let her go back to England to stay with her grandparents before she went to Uni. Gemma leaving wasn’t the only reason Harry was sad all the time, his parents started fighting. Not huge or anything, but a couple here and there. Harry, being Harry, couldn’t handle any of it.
In the middle of the night 8th grade year, Harry came knocking on my window. He scared the hell out of me that first time, I had always hated that my room was ground level anyway; he almost made me hat is more. His room was literally across the yard, so it was easy for him to just start sneaking over at night when his parents would be loud. Now it’s just natural for both of us, it seems.
“Come on Kel, I’m hungry.” He pounds on the door.
“Alright, I’ll be done in a sec.” I reply when the pounding stops.
I rinse out my hair, rinsing away my thoughts about the past and yesterday. I quickly wash my body, shave, and condition before hopping out of the shower and grabbing a towel to dry off.
I pull all my clothes on quickly, and then wrap a towel around my head before walking out of the bathroom.
“It took you long enough.” Harry mumbled looking down at his phone as he sat on my bed. The blankets were off the floor, and he was dressed in black skinny and a white t-shirt, and of course, a green headband wrapped around his head.
“You and those damned headbands, Harry.”
His eyes flicker to me, then he smiles as he stands up. “What?” he looks into the mirror in the bathroom from where he’s standing. “I think I look quite good.” He smiles triumphantly and then moves towards the door of my bedroom, unlocking it and then walking out to the hall.
I follow behind him after I quickly take my towel off of my head and comb through my kinky hair.
“Want some French Toast?” he asks as I walk into the kitchen. He already has the bread, milk, eggs, and spices out, and the ovens also on.
“Yum, sounds good. But you would’ve made it even if I didn’t want it so.” I joke.
“Hey, I would have felt a little bad.” He defends himself as he begins cracking eggs.
I pulled some strawberries and blueberries out of the fridge, along with a cutting board and knife from the drawers. “What would you like?” I ask as I begin slicing up strawberries.
“The works.” He looks over at me and winks.
“With banana?”
“Oh, definitely.”
Once breakfast was finished, we stood next to each other on the counter with our plates in front of us.
“This is good.” I complimented with a full mouth.
“Thanks, the fruit is sliced very nicely.” He adds.
I laugh and him and shake my head. I decide to get up on the counter and sit with my plate in my lap, facing Harry.
“So, you think sociology is going to be fun?”
“I don’t know, not too keen on the person I’m sitting next to.” I reply, looking down at my food.
“Why do you do that? What was with you yesterday?” he asks, putting his food and fork down.
“Oh, come on Harry! We haven’t talked to each other in school since like, the 6th grade, maybe 7th. You’ve always ignored me.”
“That was middle school! We communicate in High School.” He says.
“No, we don’t Harry and you know it. All we do is smile at each other, even if we have a class together! That’s how it’s always been!” I nearly shout.
He turns around and leans on the counter, running a hand through his hair. “Well, this year will be different.” He sighs.
“Only cause it has to be.” I mutter, taking another bite of my food.
“Oh, stop that. Admit you’re happy you sit by me in Sociology.” He turns and smiles at me.
“I’ll admit something, but it ain’t gonna be that I’m happy to sit by you.”
“You are so stubborn.” He shakes head going back to his food.
“Your fault you befriended me.”
“You’re absolutely right, what the hell was 9 year old me thinking?”
I pushed his shoulder, “You’re such a jerk.”
“Cause you’re so perfect.” He retorts sarcastically.
“I know thanks!” I smirk, hoping down from the counter to rinse and put my empty plate in the sink.
The sound of the front door opening up in the other room sounds around the kitchen.
“Hey dad.” I say, praying to God he isn’t in a bad mood. He usually isn’t when Harry is here anyway.
I turn from the sink as he walks into the kitchen looking at me and then to Harry.
“Hey, Mr. Jones! How are you this morning?” Harry asks pleasantly.
“Good, son. Shouldn’t you two be off to school? It’s 7:30.” He says, looking at the clock on the oven.
“It’s late start, dad. School doesn’t start until a quarter to 9.”
“Oh, that’s right.” We’ve only had late start Thursday for 6 years, I guess I could see how you forgot.
“So where were you last night? I made you dinner, it’s in the fridge.” I inform him, gesturing to the fridge.
“I work nights now, Kelly.”
“Oh yea? Since when?”
“Since last night, didn’t I tell you?” he’s playing stupid.
“Actually no you didn’t. To be honest, I didn’t even know that the gas station was open all night. Did they start that last night, too? Wait, why aren’t you wearing your work uniform?” I can see he’s getting pissed with each question I ask him, but he’s tries not to break in front of Harry.
“Harry, can you please give my daughter and I a moment alone please?” he asks kindly, his eyes not leaving mine.
“Of course.” Harry places his plate on the counter, and then touches my arm before walking to my bedroom, where he usually goes.
When we hear the door shut, he begins. “What the hell is your problem?” He moves closer to the spot I’m standing.
“I’m sorry, I wasn’t really aware I had one. I was just trying to understand the situation here, and not being lied to once in a while would be nice.” I don’t raise my voice or anything. I stay completely calm as I stand in front of him with my arms crossed.
“It’s none of your fucking business what I do, so you better watch your tone young lady.” He moves closer, spitting his words at me and pointing a finger. “And if you ever act like that when Harry is here again, we will have a problem.” As he gets closer, I can smell the whiskey and weed on his breath.
I’m honestly scared, but I try not to show it. “Why? Because you know you can’t push me around while he’s here? Are you afraid you’ll get in trouble?” I question, backing up from him. “I’m leaving, the smell of marijuana is nauseating and if I have to inhale the scent any longer, I might throw up.” I walk towards my room, and thank God Harry is here or he would have followed. “Like I said, there’s food in the fridge, its quinoa and chicken. Have a nice day.”
I turn and open my door to find Harry sitting on my bed; he sits up when he hears the door shut. I walk past him and into the bathroom.
I grab my toothbrush and squeeze some paste on it, brushing vigorously while I cross my arm over my chest. My father is so infuriating, and the biggest liar I have ever met in my 17 years.
I’m so lost in my thoughts; I don’t even see Harry walk in. I turn the sink on and spit out the toothpaste and then rinse my mouth. Harry watches me as I turn the water off and reach to the towel to dry my hands.
“Where’s your bracelet?” I open the drawer under the sink and slide on my bracelet. “Talk to me.” He requests.
“There’s nothing to say,” I breathe, grabbing some concealer from my makeup bag and dabbing it underneath my eyes.
“You don’t need that stuff.” He says.
“Yea I do, I have huge bags underneath my eyes because I’m constantly being woken up at obscene hours of the morning.”
“Why are you acting like this, Kelly? Did I do something wrong? If so, you can tell me.”
I take a deep breathe, “I don’t know.” I answer, shaking my head. “I’m just so, so angry. He makes me so angry.” I place my finger tips on my temple and look at the ground.
Harry wraps his arms tightly around my shoulders while I stand there with my head in my hands.
“I’m sorry.” I whisper, moving my arms around his waist.
“It’s alright.” He runs a hand down my hair and rocks us side to side. “Thanks for letting me stay last night.” He whispers.
I pull away from him and lean against the bathroom sink, “Never a problem… Even if I say it is.” I laugh and turn to grab my mascara when Harry’s phone rings in his pocket.
He pulls it out, “You know, you really don’t need that stuff- Caroline! Hey. You’re back from England? Did you like it?” Harry walks out of the bathroom to continue his call. “I missed you too. You’re going to be at school today? Great, how about I pick you up? Alright, I’ll be there in twenty. See you then, love.”
I walk into the bedroom when he finishes. “How are you and Caroline?” I ask, putting my books in my backpack.
“We’re good; I think we could work actually. So, I’m going to go, and I’ll see you in sociology, okay?” he says quickly, rushing out the door.
“Yea, see you.” I say, but he’s already gone.

Notes