I found her .
I Miss Her .
Niall's P.O.V
"Dude get the fuck up !" I herd Aron's voice yell from his kitchen .
"What the fuck do you want ?" i mumble back to him with my head pounding .
"My girls going to be here in like 10 minutes ! Get the fuck up , you know I'll let you crash here because you and your girl are -"
"Shut the fuck up !" i yell back trying to remember what happened last night . All that i can honestly remember is Janette slapping me and leaving and i didn't chase after her . What i did do was go down to the bar and drank and waited until she called me to come home . We always fought and she always forgave me . So now i'm waiting for her to do the same thing .
At the bar I saw Aron who i hadn't seen since i started dating Janette . I had one to many with him and now i cant remember a thing , all i know is I'm on his couch while gripping onto a vodka bottle and a cigarette in between my lips like old times .
"Then get up and come back later ! Here .." he said giving me a couple of pain relievers .
Aron and I use to be closer than me and Zayn ever were. He use to be part of our group but he was too much sometimes . He would always get in fights and was always high and drunk . I use to be just like him . I taught him everything he knows , hell , he is my fucking prodigy. I remember when i first met him , he was a fucking loser . He would always get picked on until i stood up for him once. He was ever so grateful and followed me around like a puppy dog . I use to find it so weird but got use to it and showed him the ropes .
I told him to loose the fucking sweater vest and khakis . He bought himself some black jeans and t-shirts and he looked better than ever. We would both party , get high, get drunk , and fuck so many girls . Every night it was a different girl , sometimes even two at a time . Every night we would get in a lot of fights maybe even 3 times a night and we would win all of them . After that we'd go home and sleep , wake up , get high , drink , and do the same from the night before . Me and Aron stopped hanging out when he tried to get at Perrie and Zayn finally told me it was them or Aron . I chose them because Aron had screwed me over as well with things i will not go into detail with .
To be honest with you , i still did all those things up until i met Janette . Janette !! Fuck i almost forgot , she's probably called me at least a thousand times ! I quickly pull my phone out and i see nothing . No miss calls . No texts messages . Nothing . We really are over .
"Aye bitch I'm leaving !" i yelled at as i walked down stairs to my car .
Where am i going ? I only want to go one place and i cant even go there , she fucking hates me. I don't even know what to do with my life i feel like a fucking bum ! I don't know what i was thinking , i don't want Sarah i never wanted her , i just want Janette . She the only person who made me do good , she saw the best in me when people thought i was a horrible person . And i'm not going to sit here and lie to you . I was , i was a piece a shit person but Janette made me better . I need her and i know God damn well she needs me .
I drive quickly to my house and as i pull up in my drive way , i see a box just sitting there . 1 , 2 , 5 boxes ? I get off the car and make my way up to my door and i kick it opened . I drag each box in and start opening them in my living room . ....It's all of my stuff . She really is done with me . I open the the box that was in top last and find a paper in it . It's a letter .
"Niall , i know I'm not good with words and I didn't like the way i slapped you . Even though you deserved , i shouldn't have done it . You hurt me , like i mean you really hurt me . You broke my heart and i always found a way to forgive you . To be honest if you would have even remotely fought for me , i would have forgiven you again . But you didn't . And that's ok . It has to be ok or else i will never be happy . I have to know that its ok that you weren't happen and wanted to leave . It hurts me to know that i couldn't make you happy but i want to act a little selfish and enjoy the time i had with you which was miserable to you. I can still hear you laughing at me for saying something stupid that doesnt even make sense or has nothing to do with the subject . I'm not going to lie to you , i'm trying to make myself pretend that you enjoyed the time with me as much as i did with you . The day you saved me from my mom , i realized how much i loved you . The night you took me on a date and we did 'stuff' i realized how comfortable i was with you . The first day of school that i had and i told you to drop that poor kid and leave him alone , i knew we were both a challenge for each other . I know i never said this at all but thank you . Even when you thought i didnt appreciate it or noticed , i did . Like the way you would always take your sweaters off for me even when your lips started to get purple . Or the way you would leave class early and get so many detentions for it just to get to my class before it was even out . Or the way you would always put the blanket all on me and you'd wake up with a cold the next morning because you gave up the blanket . Thank you for showing me what it was like to be happy . Some infinities are bigger than other infinities. There are days, many of them, there were days i loved and days i hated because of you . Now i have none. I wanted more numbers than i'm likely to get , and God, did i want more with you. I cannot tell you how thankful i am for our little infinity. I wouldn't trade it for the world. You gave me a forever that i will cherish for the rest of my life and i will one day show James and Theo . Good bye . "
Fuck , even when she's suppose to hate me , she still finds the best thing to our weird relationship ! I pick up the glass on the table and throw it straight to the fucking wall . How could i be so stupid ! How could i let the one thing that i love the most in this world slip through my fucking fingers ! I need to get her back , i have to .
"Dude get the fuck up !" I herd Aron's voice yell from his kitchen .
"What the fuck do you want ?" i mumble back to him with my head pounding .
"My girls going to be here in like 10 minutes ! Get the fuck up , you know I'll let you crash here because you and your girl are -"
"Shut the fuck up !" i yell back trying to remember what happened last night . All that i can honestly remember is Janette slapping me and leaving and i didn't chase after her . What i did do was go down to the bar and drank and waited until she called me to come home . We always fought and she always forgave me . So now i'm waiting for her to do the same thing .
At the bar I saw Aron who i hadn't seen since i started dating Janette . I had one to many with him and now i cant remember a thing , all i know is I'm on his couch while gripping onto a vodka bottle and a cigarette in between my lips like old times .
"Then get up and come back later ! Here .." he said giving me a couple of pain relievers .
Aron and I use to be closer than me and Zayn ever were. He use to be part of our group but he was too much sometimes . He would always get in fights and was always high and drunk . I use to be just like him . I taught him everything he knows , hell , he is my fucking prodigy. I remember when i first met him , he was a fucking loser . He would always get picked on until i stood up for him once. He was ever so grateful and followed me around like a puppy dog . I use to find it so weird but got use to it and showed him the ropes .
I told him to loose the fucking sweater vest and khakis . He bought himself some black jeans and t-shirts and he looked better than ever. We would both party , get high, get drunk , and fuck so many girls . Every night it was a different girl , sometimes even two at a time . Every night we would get in a lot of fights maybe even 3 times a night and we would win all of them . After that we'd go home and sleep , wake up , get high , drink , and do the same from the night before . Me and Aron stopped hanging out when he tried to get at Perrie and Zayn finally told me it was them or Aron . I chose them because Aron had screwed me over as well with things i will not go into detail with .
To be honest with you , i still did all those things up until i met Janette . Janette !! Fuck i almost forgot , she's probably called me at least a thousand times ! I quickly pull my phone out and i see nothing . No miss calls . No texts messages . Nothing . We really are over .
"Aye bitch I'm leaving !" i yelled at as i walked down stairs to my car .
Where am i going ? I only want to go one place and i cant even go there , she fucking hates me. I don't even know what to do with my life i feel like a fucking bum ! I don't know what i was thinking , i don't want Sarah i never wanted her , i just want Janette . She the only person who made me do good , she saw the best in me when people thought i was a horrible person . And i'm not going to sit here and lie to you . I was , i was a piece a shit person but Janette made me better . I need her and i know God damn well she needs me .
I drive quickly to my house and as i pull up in my drive way , i see a box just sitting there . 1 , 2 , 5 boxes ? I get off the car and make my way up to my door and i kick it opened . I drag each box in and start opening them in my living room . ....It's all of my stuff . She really is done with me . I open the the box that was in top last and find a paper in it . It's a letter .
"Niall , i know I'm not good with words and I didn't like the way i slapped you . Even though you deserved , i shouldn't have done it . You hurt me , like i mean you really hurt me . You broke my heart and i always found a way to forgive you . To be honest if you would have even remotely fought for me , i would have forgiven you again . But you didn't . And that's ok . It has to be ok or else i will never be happy . I have to know that its ok that you weren't happen and wanted to leave . It hurts me to know that i couldn't make you happy but i want to act a little selfish and enjoy the time i had with you which was miserable to you. I can still hear you laughing at me for saying something stupid that doesnt even make sense or has nothing to do with the subject . I'm not going to lie to you , i'm trying to make myself pretend that you enjoyed the time with me as much as i did with you . The day you saved me from my mom , i realized how much i loved you . The night you took me on a date and we did 'stuff' i realized how comfortable i was with you . The first day of school that i had and i told you to drop that poor kid and leave him alone , i knew we were both a challenge for each other . I know i never said this at all but thank you . Even when you thought i didnt appreciate it or noticed , i did . Like the way you would always take your sweaters off for me even when your lips started to get purple . Or the way you would leave class early and get so many detentions for it just to get to my class before it was even out . Or the way you would always put the blanket all on me and you'd wake up with a cold the next morning because you gave up the blanket . Thank you for showing me what it was like to be happy . Some infinities are bigger than other infinities. There are days, many of them, there were days i loved and days i hated because of you . Now i have none. I wanted more numbers than i'm likely to get , and God, did i want more with you. I cannot tell you how thankful i am for our little infinity. I wouldn't trade it for the world. You gave me a forever that i will cherish for the rest of my life and i will one day show James and Theo . Good bye . "
Fuck , even when she's suppose to hate me , she still finds the best thing to our weird relationship ! I pick up the glass on the table and throw it straight to the fucking wall . How could i be so stupid ! How could i let the one thing that i love the most in this world slip through my fucking fingers ! I need to get her back , i have to .
Notes
Double Update !! I should be updating more often because of the fact that I got a new laptop !! Any who , i literally like cried while writing Janette's letter to Niall . It was so sad and she loved him so much . Any who . I hope you guys like this chapter as much as i did . Please comment what has been your absolute favorite part about any of the chapters . (:
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@Mrs.Calum Horan
Oh thank you ! And I am sorry I took so long lol I'm so glad you liked it !
12/11/15