“I don’t think so.” I laughed as Luke urged me on.

“Yes! Do it!” I looked down at him.

We were on our ‘date’, outing, excursion; whatever it is you want to call it, currently. We had been out together for about 2 hours now and I was having fun. That’s all I was having. I didn’t feel anything towards Luke now that we’ve been spending one on one time together. He was a great kid and yes, he was still extremely attractive, but the spark wasn’t there. I wasn’t sure if he felt it too but he hadn’t tried to pull any sort of moves.

It was like when we were in a situation dealing with something sexual, we found ourselves wanting each other. But here, in this park I felt no sort of sexual tension. We were carrying on and laughing like we were kids again.

We had gone out to a late lunch/early dinner and it was great. He had picked this super fancy Italian restaurant that had my mouth still watering. Before he picked me up he had told me to bring something comfortable to change into for after dinner. I did as I was told bringing a pair of skinny jeans and an oversized wool sweater. I looked cute yet I was comfortable and warm.

We were walking through a cute park he said he usually came to when he needed to clear his mind while he was in London. I couldn’t imagine the stress on these boys, all of them in both bands. I lived with it to an extent, Harry never really opened up about his worries or fears.

We had found a swing set and instantly turned back into children. I was swinging so high and Luke was daring me to jump. I wouldn’t do it though. I was too scared.

I slowed my swing down, coming to a complete stop. He looked over at me, a smile on his lips and in his eyes. I needed today. I had thought it was going to go very differently. I thought I was going to have to make the biggest decision in my life ever. But I didn’t even need too.

I was nervous at first when he picked me up. There was an awkward silence the entire way to the restaurant. Once we had placed our orders conversation slowly picked up. It was sometime during dinner that I realized I was crazy for doing this. I reminded myself to call Lucy and blame her. Conversation flowed perfectly but there was nothing past the initial sexual attraction. There are a lot of guys I look at and think, ‘wow I’d like a piece of that.’ But never touch, just like I know Harry checks other girls out too. It’s basic human nature.

That’s all that it was with Luke. I thought he was hot and that was that. Sure, we got along great but that doesn’t mean anything. I get along with a lot of people but don’t even think about leaving Harry for them.

“What’s on your mind?” Luke asked.

“Nothing.” I shrugged not wanted to get into my feelings with him.

He gave me a look as if to say he knew something was up but I just continued to shrug. We had a mini staring contest that ended up in us both laughing at the ugly faces we started to make at each other.

“Wow.” I said, standing up. “What’s wrong with us is the real question?”

“I don’t know. I think we make a great ugly face team.” He looked at me.

“Did you just call me ugly?” I fake punched his arm.

“No, well sort of but you know what I mean.” He laughed. “I’m ugly too.”

“Got that right.” I laughed, taking off down the sidewalk.

I looked over my shoulder to see a dumbfounded Luke still standing in the same position. When he realized I had left the playground, he began to chase after me. I made it a few more strides before his long legs caught up to me.

“Call me ugly then run? Wow I see how it is.” He placed a hand over his heart in fake hurt.

“You called me ugly first.” I stuck out my tongue.

“Good point.” He said. “Ready for the next part of our evening?”

“Where to now?” I looked up at him.

“Ice cream.” He smiled bright.

“I love ice cream!” I fist pumped, excited.

We walked down the pathway a little bit apart in case someone was watching, not that anything was going on anyways. “So tell me a secret?”

“A secret?” I looked at him unsure.

“Yeah, something no one knows about you, not even Harry.” he pressed.

“I don’t really have any secrets that Harry doesn’t know.” I shrugged. It wasn’t a complete lie. Harry and I don’t keep things from each other, well except for this.

“There has to be something!”

“Tell me a secret about you then! That no one knows!” I tried.

“I have a tattoo.”

“So? That’s a secret?” I laughed.

“Yes, no one knows I have it!” he said, looking down at me.

“Really?”

“Yeah, it’s in between my toes.” He laughed.

“What is it of and in between your toes? You are weird.” I shook my head.

“It’s a half moon. My mom gave me a poster once to hang up in my room when I was younger and I just loved it. I thought it was the coolest thing. It’s just my little way of always having my mom with me no matter where I am.”

“That’s really sweet.” I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face, he was a good kid.

“Don’t be telling anyone! The lads don’t even know!”

“Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me, I promise.” I gave his arm a squeeze.

“Now you have to tell me something.” he was right.

“I can play guitar, piano and drums.” I smiled up at him.

“And no one knows?”

“My family but they don’t count.” I laughed.

“That’s true.” He smirked. “So why don’t you tell anyone?”

“It’s just sort of my thing.” I shrugged. “If I’m home alone, I’ll pick up on the guitars Harry has sitting around and I just jam.”

“Wow, that’s incredible.” Luke smiled. “You’ll have to play for me sometime.”

“No way!” I looked at him, wide eyes. Why would he think I’d do that if no one knew I could even play.

“We’ll see, I can be pretty persuasive.” He winked just as we rounded the corner to the ice cream place. I was thankful his playful banter wouldn’t be able to go any further.

“So what do you want?” he asked as we looked at all the flavors and possibilities in the case lining the counter.

“Vanilla and rainbow sprinkles.” I smirked. “You?”

“Cookies and cream, obviously!” he laughed.




----------------------------------------


The part I was dreading most was here. After we finished our ice cream we decided to just walk around the city. We had lost track of time as it was nearing midnight. We had gotten up by some paparazzi but played it off slyly. It’s not like there was any real playing it off for me. I had my mind made up for hours now. We were on our way home now. I nervously twirled a ring I had worn around my finger again and again. I studied Luke as he weaved us in and out traffic flawlessly. I really had hoped he caught on to the vibe I was giving. The friend vibe.

I sighed as we pulled in front of Harry and my flat. He turned the radio down and faced me. I looked down at my hands pooled into my lap. I fidgeted nervously.

“Spencer, today was fun.” He smiled, genuinely.

“I would agree with that.” I finally looked over at him.

“So, um, what is going to happen now?” he asked awkwardly.

“Well I’m going to catch my flight to New York in a day and go back to normal life with Harry.”

“So it’s him?” he looked down, out the window, at his hands, anywhere but me.

“Luke, I had a really great time this past week but our relationship is professional. Our friendship is real though.” I smiled, placing a light touch on his arm. “I can’t just pick up and leave Harry.”

“You have to feel it!” He groaned frustrated.

“Luke I thought there was something, but today I realized that all I want is friendship.”

“You kissed me back at the club and on the shoot.” He sighed.

“Okay, I was hammered before I even got to the club and as for the shoot, well I was in that awkward limbo stage! The one where you barely know someone but they’re so intriguing to you! Plus I did what I was paid to do.” I slumped back into my seat.

“I’m not going to give up.” He looked into my eyes. “You know that right?”

“Luke, I’m with Harry. That’s not going to change anytime soon. Move on, find someone who can return the love you deserve.”

“I want yours.” He pleaded with his eyes.

“I know, but I can’t give that to you. It belongs to someone else.” I closed my eyes.

I was holding back a smile, I couldn’t possibly smile at this moment but I wanted too. I was insanely disappointed in myself that it took all of this doubt and other guy to make me realize I wanted to be with Harry forever. But this was my moment. I hadn’t had it yet but here it was. This the moment telling me what I wanted in life. Sadly, Harry knew months ago and I couldn’t return the feeling. But it felt great.

“I wish it was different.” Luke sounded exhausted.

“But this is how it is. I don’t want you out of my life forever. I really enjoy the times we are together.”

“I’ll take what I can get I guess.”

“Luke, you’ll find someone. Don’t worry. And I’ll always be here for you.”

“I’m lucky to even have someone as great as you for a friend.” He smiled over at me for the first time since this conversation had started.

“I feel the same.” I smiled back.

“Well I guess this is goodnight.” He chuckled.

“Aren’t you going to come give me a real hug?” I fake pouted as I opened my door. I heard a deep chuckle and his door open. He came around the car the smile from inside still on his mouth. I wrapped my arms around his torso as his fell around my shoulders. I laid my head on his chest. He was so much taller than Harry it seemed. I felt a soft brush of his lips on the top of my head.

“If I don’t see you before you go, have a safe trip and let me know when you get back.” He mumbled.

I nodded, silently not wanting to ruin the moment. I pulled back slightly looking up at him. A grin tugged on his lips as our eyes connected.

“This isn’t over yet.” he said, pulling away completely. I looked at him unsure. “Bye Spencer.”

And with that, he got back into the car and sped away. I closed my eyes tight and sighed. I ran an aimless hand through my hair and headed up the steps to our apartment. I fiddled with the keys only to find the door was unlocked. I opened the front door completely to the loud bellow of laughter. Damnit, I was hoping to be alone with Harry and have wild mind blowing ‘I just realized I want to marry you’ sex all night long.

I headed into the living to find Harry, Louis and Ashton sprawled out over our couches watching football on the telly. Damnit. I needed to stop hanging out with all of these British people, I was even starting to think like them.

“Baby!” Harry shouted as I set my bags down behind the couch Ashton was on.

“Hey! I didn’t mean to interrupt.” I smiled, walking over to Harry, leaning down placing a peck on his lips.

“Interrupt? Love, you live here.” Ashton laughed.

“Well I didn’t know it was a guys night! I could have stayed somewhere else.” I smiled.

“Nah, we should get going anyway.” Louis said attempting to said up but failing miserably.

“Drink a little?” I giggled.

“Fuck.” He mumbled.

“Just stay in the guest bedroom mate, no big deal.” Harry said. “We have two if you don’t want to leave Ash.”

“I might just take you up on that.” Ashton laughed. “I’m right smacked.”

“Well there goes my plans for the night.” I said under my breathe heading for the kitchen. I grabbed a glass from the cabinet, turning the faucet on for a glass of water. I let the water get cold and stuck my glass underneath. Once it was half full, I shut the flow off. I put the glass to my lips but started to smile instead of drinking. I was so happy. This moment in time was the happiest I had ever been. I squealed lightly as a pair of arms wrapped around my waist. I hadn’t even heard him come into the kitchen, too lost in my own daydream. I leaned into his touch as he kissed my neck. I stared out the window content with life. He flipped me around and pressed me up against the counter.

“I love you.” I smiled into his kiss.

“I love you too.” he continued his assassination on my neck.

“No Harry.” I looked at him seriously. “I love you.”

He nodded, seeming to understand at least partly of what I meant. His lips pressed against my even harder. He slid his hands down my back and under my bum for leverage. He hoisted me up and I quickly wrapped my legs around his waist.

“The guys.” I whispered in between kisses.

“They’re in the guest rooms, they’ll be passed out in no time.”

“Harry, you don’t get it. I love you so much.” I gripped his shoulder as he walked us down the hall into our room.

“I think I know you love me baby.” He kissed me again.

“Yeah but I mean I want to be with you for the rest of my life.” I said, looking down at him.

“I thought we’ve already talked about this. One day we might tie the knot, maybe, maybe not.” He shrugged, going back to kissing me. “I’m aware that this is as good as it may get.”

“No Harold.” That got his attention. “I want to be with you, only you, forever in holy matrimony.”

“You want to be my wife…” he more so stated than questioned.

“Yes.” I nodded.

“Seems like I have a proposal to plan.” He winked.

“And this time the answer will be yes.” I slammed my lips against this, loving every second our mouths were together.

We got into our room and he laid me down gently on the bed. He hovered over me with a shit eating grin on his face.

“How would you like it tonight, Mrs. Styles?” he asked in a low sexy voice.

“Hard, pleasing and from behind.” I winked.

“I dare someone to try and tell me you won’t be the greatest wife in the world.” He kissed me again.

“I may not be the greatest wife, but I’ll definitely be the greatest permanent shagger.” I wiggled my eyebrows. “Sorry you’re stuck with me now.”

“I’m about to do endless, horrible things to your body right now, you know that?” Lust clouded his eyes. It felt like Harry and I were always making love, tonight I wanted to make love, yes, but I also wanted a good hard fuck. I knew Harry could tell that’s what I wanted and I knew I’d get exactly that.

“What are you waiting for?” I smirked.

“I love you.” he smiled again before turning into the animal he was in bed.

I loved Harry so much. I couldn’t control the smile that plastered my face as he began his attack on my body. He was my forever. I don’t know why I was so stupid as to think that he wasn’t. now, all I had to do was hope he never found out about what happened with Luke. I knew when the video came out we’d have some tension but that’s something we could overcome. Love was powerful but so were secrets. Those would be something I knew I needed to keep buried down, waaayyyy down. But with love, anything is truly possible, even if there are secrets involved. I believed that to be true for Harry and me. Love is all you need.

Notes

Sorry if any errors are in this. I'm tired and That 70s Show keeps distracting me. I also just watched Across the Universe and that is a kick ass movie. That's why I got a little Beatles vibe going on at the end. Love is all you need though, right?


Anyways, I told you pretties not to worry about this! Worrying just gives you wrinkles, trust me I know. IT'S ALWAYS GOING TO BE HARRY! Remember that for future references when you think you want to hate me but really don't. Let me know what you think about this! I whipped it up real quick so it's not my best quality but I needed everyone to breathe about the whole Luke thing.


I LOVE ALL OF YOU, WHETHER YOU AGREE WITH MY STORY OR NOT. THANK YOU FOR READING AND GIVING MY STORY A CHANCE. YOU ALL MAKE ME SO HAPPY.

Vote if you haven't, subscribe if you like but keep randomly checking back. You all are so awesome.

Give me your thought and comments. I'm also open to any suggestions in which direction you'd like to see this story go. I think I have a pretty good idea but always remember there is going to be a sequel so more shenanigans and differences and fights must happen. But hey, it's life.

OKAY DONE RAMBLING HALF OF YOU WON'T EVEN MAKE IT THIS FAR INTO THE A/N. FOR THOSE WHO DO, ROCK ON.

love you cuties xx

ps. I've had 4 people in the past 24 hours tell me they like 5sos thanks to me and can't stop listening to them. 2 of those people are guys who are 21 and 23. Thank you lord, I'm so proud.

pps. I've been told more than I can count in the past month that I look like I should be in a boyband. I've been told I look like Harry Styles and Ashton Irwin....maybe the universe is trying to tell me something. I'm not sure what but something. I mean I'm a super girly girl but I rock those band tees, wrapped flannels, skinnies, beanies, bandanas, and boots you name it. I've worn it.

WORLDS LONGEST AUTHOR NOTE? MAYBE.

BYE BYE NOW.