"Harry I can explain."

I panicked when the first thing I saw was Harry holding my cocaine. Not exactly the way I wanted to wake up after such a great night.

"I'm just going to put this bag away, and pretend I didn't see it until we get home." Harry said.

"What?"

"Please get help when we go home."

"I don't need help." I sighed throwing myself back down on to the bed.

"Spencer, first it was Xanax, I was okay with that, I wasn't pushing rehab or help too much. But cocaine? We deal with that too much. I see what it does to people."

"Yes I'm sure." I rolled my eyes.

"Zayns gone through treatment for it. I think I'd know."

"Oh." I said completely unaware that happened.

"Yeah so don't be stupid. Stop this."

"It was the first time I've ever did it."

"What was?" He snapped.

"Last night."

"What are you thinking?" He yelled, raising his voice for the first time. "You can die. I can't let you die. I can't live on this earth without you. I need you."

"I need you too!" I cried.

"You have a shit way of showing it."

"Really? Telling you I wanna marry you last night wasn't a good way to show I need you!?"

"We're never getting married Spencer. Who are you kidding?"

"And what does that mean?"

"Who am I kidding? You don't want to marry me, you never will! I'll be happy if we make it to a year."

I watched as Harry slumped onto the ground. He placed his head in between his hands.

"What are talking about?"

"You expressed no interest in getting married, ever. And I feel like the only time you ever agree is when you’re inebriated."

"That's so not true! Why would I agree to move in with you, buy a house in LONDON, for god sakes."

"I feel like it's all just for show. To maintain the image of our relationship."

"I love you and if you can't see that then I can't see you."

"Don't say that."

"Then say you love me too!"

He hopped up off the floor and made his way over to the bed. He crawled up to me, straddling his legs on either side of me. He leaned his head down to meet mine. Our lips met in perfect harmony. He continued to kiss me, making me forget about our argument. When he pulled away I saw the tears brimming his eyes.

"I love you so much it hurts, physically hurts. When I find this stuff out I feel like I don't matter to you. It makes me feel like you don't care."

"I do care. This is just a lot to deal with. The sudden fame wasn't something I was expecting."

"You had to think it was a possibility."

"I didn't think we'd make it this far. I thought once you left New York we'd be finished."

"I had no idea what was going to happen. I'm not going to lie and say it never crossed my mind that we wouldn't work. But we are working and that should count for something."

"It's so hard." I cried.

"I know it is babe. It's not easy at all. I have days where I doubt it all, but it all comes down for my love for you and that's something I'll never doubt." He placed a kissed on my lips.

“I wish you wouldn’t doubt my love either.” I sighed brushing a curl out of his face.

“It’s not your love I doubt babe.”

“Then what is it?”

“I just question why you feel the need to do these drugs.” He sat up.

“I don’t need to do them.” I shrugged, sitting up next to him.

“Like I said before, I’m going to pretend that I never saw the bag. We’re going to enjoy the remainder of our time here. When we get back we’ll figure it out.”

“I love you.” I kissed him.

“I love you too.”

“And I’m sorry.” I sighed.

He nodded placing an arm around me, pulling me in tight. I leaned up against him never wanting him to let go. We sat there for god knows how long until room service knocked on our door.

“What’s this?” I asked as he hopped up.

“I ordered your favorites.” He smiled.

“You’re the best.”




------------------------------------


After an amazing brunch in bed, Harry had surprised me with a trip to the spa. I had already received my facial, pedicure and manicure. I had no idea what Harry was doing but he said he had something planned to do while I was here. I was currently having a massage and it couldn’t have been more on point after a stressful morning.

I was just about to fall into a peaceful nap when my masseuse spoke.

“Some relationship you have going on isn’t it?”

“What do you mean?” I laughed, unsure.

“Well aren’t you dating that singer boy?”

She was an older woman, I’d say late 50s. She seemed sweet. She had an adorable French accent and everything.

“Yes, he’s in band.”

“Which?”

“One Direction.”

“Ah, yes heard of them. They make nice music.”

“Yeah, it’s catchy.” I smiled.

“So tell me how it works then.”

“What? Our relationship?”

“Yes, how does it work?”

“It’s hard, he’s gone a lot and I work in New York. But we find a balance.”

“Balance is a must. I sense a lot of tension though.” She said rubbing my shoulders.

“Yeah, we sort of had an argument this morning.” I sighed.

“I can tell. Don’t let it get to you. Whatever troubles you are having can be fixed or forgotten if your love is true.”

Whatever troubles you are having can be fixed or forgotten if your love is true.

I thought about that for a long time. She was right. I could fix my drug problem because I love Harry more than anything in the world. I would be a complete and total fool to let him slip away because I wanted to pop a pill every now and then. Granted, I had taken pills this morning after eating, but I could stop. I would stop. I was going to get help when I got home. For myself, for Harry, for our relationship.

“That’s the best advice I’ve ever received.” I smiled.

“My mother always told me that when my boyfriend, now husband of 34 years, and I would fight. She is right. We love each other more than anything. We rely on each other to get through tough times. We still fight but at the end of the night when we lay down together we know we love each other. We never go to bed mad. It’s unhealthy.”

“Yes, we are very bad at that one. We’ve gone to bed mad quite a few times.”

“Hunnie, nothing is as bad as actually losing your man.”

“That’s true.”

“Today when you get back to him, tell him you’re sorry and you love him. It doesn’t matter if you haven’t done anything to be sorry for. It’s always better to make sure he knows.” She smiled.

“I will. Hell I know I’ve done some stuff that I could apologize for, for the rest of my life.”

“We all have dear.” She said. “Well, we’re all finished here.”

“Thank you so much for this. I really needed it.” I smiled. “The massage and the talk.”

“Of course dear. Now, I’ll let you get changed. Come back again before you leave.” She went to leave. “And bring that boyfriend of yours next time.”

“I definitely will. Lord knows he could use this.” I smiled.

“Have a great rest of your trip.”

As she left me to gather myself and get changed, I thought about everything she had said. She was right. I was going to get out of here and find Harry.




------------------------------------------------------




I was patiently waiting in the hotel room for Harry to return from wherever he was. I had endlessly flicked through the channels landing on some show about cute kittens. I decided that when we got back to the city we were getting a cat. No discussion. It was getting late and I was debating on whether or not I should order room service when Harry busted into the room.

“Hey, how was the massage?” he smiled.

“It was soooooo good.” I said. “I really needed it. What have you been up to?”

“Don’t worry about it.” He smirked.

“Harold Styles, I’m obviously going to now.”

“It’s a surprise and I know you’ll love it.”

“What is it?”

“A surprise Specner!”

“Harry.” I pouted. I really wanted to know what he had planned.

“You’ll find out tomorrow.” He shrugged.

“Tomorrow?! I have to wait that long?!” he nodded. “Whatever, no sex.” I shrugged back.

“Yes sex.” He smiled smugly. “You called me Harold.”

“Nope.” I popped the ‘p’.

“Yes, I promise my penis will enter you at some point tonight.” He said getting into the bed next to me.

“Before that happens, we need to talk about a few things.”

“Like what babe?”

“Well for starters I want to say I’m sorry.”

“For what?” he cocked an eyebrow.

“Everything. And I mean everything.” I sighed. “From Niall, to the drugs, to leaving London early. Everything.”

“Babe, you don’t have to apologize.” He grabbed my hand.

“Yes, I do. I’ve caused us so much pain for doing the dumbest shit. I love you and I never should have done any of that.”

“The past is the past, remember? Except for the drugs.”

“I know. I’m going to research some rehab facilities when we get back. I’m going to straighten myself out. For you, for us and most importantly for myself. I realize I can’t keep going on like this.”

“I’ll support you through and through. I’ll do anything you need for me to do. And you know when I say anything I mean it. I want you to be okay, I want you to be healthy.”

“I’m going to get better. I promise.”

“I know babe.”

“Second, I love you, endlessly.” I kissed him. “I may not be the greatest girlfriend, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love you. You’re the first thing I think of when I wake up, the last thing to cross my mind before I fall asleep and all the time in between you’re constantly on my mind.”

“I know you love me. I know you do. Nothing will change how I feel because I love you too.”

“Forever and ever.”

“Forever and always.” He smiled.

“And lastly, can we go get food or order room service?”

He laughed pulling me over to him. “Yes, let’s go out.”

“Somewhere fast?” I begged. “Please.”

“I saw a McDonald’s today.”

“CAN WE GOOOOOOOOO?” I got excited.

“Yes, we can get that greasy fat.”

“Good. We’ve been five star dining the whole time we’ve been here. I could use a gross McChicken.”

“I do fancy a Quarter Pounder.”

“Let’s stop talking about it and go actually get it.”

“Put pants on then.”

“Fine.” I laughed.

Even though everything wasn’t the greatest at the moment between us, I knew in the long run everything would turn out to be okay. Harry was my forever and I was his.

Notes

I wrote Harry's reaction both way. Freaking out and keeping calm. I hated both. So I ended up with a mixture of both. Not overly mad, not completely okay.

Let me know what you think!!! xx