Penelope was sat at her desk at work, staring pointedly ahead at her MacBook. Her ex-boyfriend, Eric, was boasting at the desk next to hers about his new girlfriend and it was making her beyond livid. He had been going on about this girl for weeks, but now that the two were officially dating, his obnoxious level was at its peak.

“I’m telling you Jake,” Eric sighed dramatically, “Ashley’s gorgeous. If she walked in here right now, you’d be completely gob smacked.” The humorous, and irritating, part of it all was that Eric hardly ever talked to Jake before today. Actually, Jake and Penelope were pretty good friends. Eric was just going out of his way to brag to people who sat near Penelope, while his desk was clear on the other side of the room. “You could name any girl in the world right now and I bet she wouldn’t be as hot as Ashley. Give it a go.” He continued.

“That’s great, Eric, but I’m trying to book this photographer,” He picked up his phone. “Maybe someone else will care.”

“Alright,” Eric said nudging Jake as if he was joking. “I’ll catch you at lunch tomorrow though, okay?”

“Okay,” Jake said starting to push buttons on his dial pad. Eric finally walked away and Jake put the phone back on the hook, glaring at Penelope. “Really?”

She scoffed and whispered, “It’s not as if I asked him to come over here! I was practically clawing my eyes out with my spoon.” She took her spoon out of her empty yogurt and mimed the act.

Jake put on a very posh accent, “Ashley is absolutely gorgeous, oh hideous Penelope! Have you not heard? Try to name one maiden fairer than mine and thou shalt be made a fool.”

“The task be impossible, oh disdainful Eric, for none be fairer than fairest Ashley.” She rolled her eyes, spinning left and right in her chair. “I wish he would just go away!”

“Ah, but he was here first,” Jake reminded her teasingly. “If he wasn’t so good at his job, we might be able to get rid of him.”

“Maybe we can cut his hands off!” Penelope said as if she genuinely thought it was a fabulous idea.

Eric started talking loudly to someone else a few desks away, “I’m not even joking with you, mate! We checked and her waist is almost half the size of mine. And I’m well in shape, right? I mean, can you even imagine?” He laughed, impressed with himself and his new trophy girlfriend.

“So I guess anorexic is the new black now?” Penelope commented to Jake, completely on edge.

He laughed, “Sorry, I didn’t order any jealousy with my lunch today.”

“I’m not jealous,” Penelope whispered as she typed angrily on her keyboard. “I’m extremely annoyed.”

“And pissed beyond all recognition?” He offered, slightly entertained by the situation. “He’s such a prick… Does he have a small penis?”

Penelope laughed, “Excuse me?”

“Well I was just wondering if he had, you know, Napoleon complex. Since he doesn’t have a huge dick, he needs to be a huge dick.” Eric said cheekily, making himself smile. Penelope just shook her head.

Much to her dismay, Eric popped up beside her again, “Only a yogurt for lunch today? Good choice. Better than all that McDonalds you used to eat. Nice to see you actually learned something from me. Carbs and grease don’t look good on you.”

“Actually all of your buzzing around the office was giving me motion sickness and I find you so deeply nauseating that I can’t bear to eat after having seen your face.”

“That could be a good diet plan for you. Well you should try to be around me more often.”

“No, shan’t.”

“You know they’re looking at me for the promotion they’re announcing in the next couple of months.” Eric declared smugly.

“The elation I feel is overwhelming.” Penelope said dismissively.

“They’re considering at all of us,” Jake chimed in, obviously tired of Eric’s inflated ego. “We’re in the same department.”

“Yeah, but they showed special interest in me.”

Jake smiled, “Why wouldn’t they?” Penelope secretly dialed Jake’s number on her phone.

She talked as the phone rang on her end, “Hello how are you this afternoon?” He answered his phone immediately, desperate to escape the conversation with Eric. “Did you say 300 or 400 orders?” Penelope said pretending to be talking to a customer. She scribbled down nonsensical notes on her pad of paper. Jake understood immediately.

“Hello, sir. How can I help you today? Why yes we do make mural-sized posters. May I ask what your company is for? Testicular acupuncture?” Eric asked bursting out into laughter. Penelope held in giggles. “Yes, absolutely. We’d be more than happy to create an advert for you.” A smarter person would have realized his and Penelope’s charade, but this was Eric they were dealing with. He just looked at them strangely and walked away.

“You’re sick, you know that?” She laughed as they both hung up their phones. “And I love you for it.”

“Line up, sugar. Don’t you see this sea of babes bowing at my feet?” He said sarcastically. “Penelope, I want to get out of here so badly.”

“I’m excited to complain to my friend, Casey, about Eric. She doesn’t know him.”

“One of the lucky ones.”

**

Penelope picked Charlotte up from her brother’s house after work. When Casey couldn’t find a babysitter for Hadley so she could go to the barbecue on Sunday, they planned to have a play date for the girls on Thursday. Harry was to be with the rest of the One Direction crew to do interviews and rehearsing to perform at a live talk show later in the day, so they hardly got to talk. She was sad that she wouldn’t get to see Harry until the next day, but she planned to send him pictures of her watching the show. Until then, Penelope and her niece headed out to West London where Casey lived to visit her at her house.

Casey was glowing when she answered the door to her house, “Nell, Charlie, its so nice to see the both of you! Come in! Hadley’s been beaming since she got home. She’s so excited to see you.”

The pair stepped into the house.“It’s lovely to see you too! Trust me, I’ve been dying to see you all day. Charlie’s been super excited as well. Haven’t you Charlie?”

“Yeah, I was so hyper in the car all the way here! Nelly said I could probably run here faster than she could drive here.” Charlotte laughed holding onto her aunt’s arm and dancing in place.

Hadley ran into the room. “Charlie!” They hugged and jumped around as young girls do. “You have to see my new dress! And my mum bought me a magazine! Can we play in my room, mummy?”

“Of course you can sweetheart, we’re going to eat soon though so no sweets. Nell and I will be in the kitchen.”

“Okay, I love you!” Hadley squealed and grabbed Charlotte’s hand, pulling her through a door that was covered in pink decorations.

Casey led Penelope into the kitchen, “Mark isn’t home yet, but he should be in a couple of hours.” Casey sat on a counter top. “How are you? You must tell me all about you’re asshole ex.” Penelope had forewarned her over the phone that Eric had gotten her in a bad mood.

Penelope groaned and took a seat at the small kitchen table, “Ugh, he’s so exhausting. It’s like he can’t just leave me alone. He feels like he needs to torture me constantly every day even if whatever we’re doing doesn’t even involve us coming into contact. It’s his daily goal, I swear it.”

“What was he like before?” Casey inquired. “Why did you date him?”

“He was sweet at first.” She almost rolled her eyes at the thought. “Eric saw my art and he really liked it and he said I was cute and asked me out. And then slowly, kind of as the relationship got more serious, he got progressively meaner. “

“What did he do?”

Penelope ran her fingers through her hair, “The one thing he always kind of nagged me about was my weight.” She was going to continue, but Casey cut her off.

“Excuse me? I beg your pardon. Did you say your ‘weight’?” She was outraged. Penelope nodded. “Do you even have a weight? You’re tiny! He needs to come off it. You should have just told him to bugger off the second he even hinted that he didn’t like your weight.”

“Yeah, I know that now, but at the time it didn’t seem as bad as it was.” Casey looked skeptically at her. “I know it sounds stupid, but at first he would kind of comment about like going to the gym more and eating healthier which all is pretty normal. Right?” Casey nodded, trying to understand her friend’s situation. “But then the comments got a little worse. Like I would try on an outfit or show him something new that I bought and he’d say ‘Why would you even think that looks good?’ or ‘Maybe it would look okay if you were smaller.’ It honestly really got to me, but I was stupid and I kind of put the pressure on myself instead of getting mad at him. I would be so eager and sort of… hungry for his praise that I would do everything he wanted just because it felt good when he would finally give me a compliment.”

“Nell, honey, that’s really not healthy at all.”

“I know,” Penelope felt herself getting much more emotional than she ever intended. “It was kind of like being caged in. I was so obsessed with my weight and clothes and being friends with the right people and stupid little things, I didn’t even realize how much I changed or that he was controlling me so much.”

Casey hopped down from the counter, “I like you how you are. And it doesn’t matter if you’re 5 stone or 50 stone, you’re great. You remember that.” She went to her refrigerator and pulled out ingredients to make dinner. “If you don’t mind me asking, how bad did it get?”

“Oh, Eric never physically abused me,” Penelope reassured her.

“Good because I might have had to show up at your job one day and rip him to shreds,” She said as she slammed potatoes down onto her cutting board. “You're too sweet of a girl to have to put up with anything like that. When did you decide enough was enough?”

“Well, in the last couple of months that we were together, he would throw things when we got in arguments. He broke a lamp, a vase, a clock, just a load of things. One night, he got so angry that he broke his coffee table. And it was really scary because it’s not some small little table. It was made of wood and glass. The glass was shattered everywhere.” Penelope’s eyes watered up from the memory, but she rubbed them away. “That was the first night that I was afraid that he might actually hurt me. That was when I broke up with him. I went to Anthony’s house sobbing and I told him what happened. He told Eric that if he ever hurt me, he’d split him in half.” Thinking about it made her giggle.

“Well that’s good,” Casey approved. “Your brother knows the right way to handle someone like him. Sounds like he needs to get his head kicked in. Seems to be a proper jackass.”

“Yeah, he is,” Penelope shook her head. “Being with him just wrecked my brain. I couldn’t walk around in my own house without finding something to be self-conscious about.”

Casey looked at her with a mixture of resolve and pity, ”Penelope, you are beautiful, funny, caring, and a wonderful person. Who cares what that irrelevant prick thinks? I could tell that you were a wonderful person from the second I met you. And you know who else could tell?” She lowered her voice to a whisper so the girls couldn't hear, “Harry fucking Styles.” Both of them laughed for a second. “Okay? There’s no need to cry over that fool,” she said after seeing Penelope’s reddening eyes. “As far as I’m concerned, you’ve won the war. He is just a pathetic specimen of a man-child that can’t get over the fact that you’re happy without him. Take pride in that.”

Penelope didn’t know what to say. She simply got up out of her seat and hugged Casey. She didn’t have many real friends in the aftermath of her relationship with Eric, so it was nice to find someone she really enjoyed talking and listening to. “Do you need me to help you peel potatoes?” Penelope asked picking up a peeling tool.

“That would be great,” Casey replied. She kissed the top of her friend’s head. It wasn’t too difficult considering their height difference. “And we’re going to eat as much unhealthy food as we want tonight because Eric is full of shit and you are a free woman!”

“Amen to that,” Penelope laughed as she started helping Casey prepare dinner.

Notes

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