The Exchange.

~~~Hayden's POV~~~

i woke up up the next morning with a huge headache. I let out a loud groan as I rolled over on what ever hard surface I was on.

THUD.

"fuck...."I moaned as I fell off what was apparently a counter top. I opened my eyes to blinding light and a partially empty house. There were some people passed out on the couch and floor but that was it. I felt a dizzyness and pang in my stomache making me bolt to the nearest bathroom spilling the contents in my stomache into the toilet. I dont remember mutch last night honestly..the last thing I remember was fealing hurt after harry shoved me away and left with another girl...after that...it's fuzzy.

i leaned back against the tub and pulled my phone out to see I had missed calls and texts from the lads..
it hurt to focus and I swear i felt like death.

I did my best and pressed call on the first contact. I put the phone on speaker as yet another heave came from my stomache.. After a few rings it went to voice mail. Damn..

deciding to look around I pulled myself up grabbing the counters as I lost my balance. I pulled myself down the hall back into the room an looked around. I noticed that I was in a house and not the club...the fuck? This can't be good. I pulled myself into a barstool resting against the counter as my head pounded. I pulled my phone out once again as it rang.

"ughhh....hello?" I squeezed my eyes shut as my voice raspily spoke in the phone.

"thank god! Hayden were are you!?" Nialls voice poured in the phone. I rubbed my head wincing at his loud voice and looked around. A guy wobbled in giving me a wave before grabbing a water from the fridge.

"lemme ask...hey! You! Were am I?" The guy looked at me before walking out.

"James street frat houses." Was all he said as he disappeared. Niall heard and quickly said he's on his way before hanging up.

i looked around groaning and laying my head on the counter quickly feeling myself doze off.

i don't no how long but it felt like seconds until I was woken again with the same headache and stomache issue. I noticed I was in a car and didn't dare open my eyes fearing I'd throw up.

"OI. You okay Hayden?" I recognized nialls voice while pinching my nose and scrunching my face holding back the bile in my stomache. He noticed my discomfort and quickly pulled over hopping out to my side. We were here for a moment as I spilled the rest of the alcohol in my system. By now the events and pain harry had caused were more clear and i felt hot tears prick my eyes. Niall rubbed my back leading me into the car. I don't remember everything after harry and me going at eachother but...I remember the hurt and wanting to numb it...I just hope it wasn't super bad whatever happend..

After a long grueling drive to the loft, niall ended up carrying me in. I herd the echoes of people talking but kept my head buried in nialls chest to block them out. He sat me on the couch and disappeared before plopping next to me.

i kept my eyes closed as i felt here eyes burn into me.

"what happend last night..." I croaked. There was a. Hush for a moment before Zayn's voice boomed through my head.

"you .got in a fight with harry , and u were a bit drunk so I guess ur next thing was get more drunk...then..." His voice trailed off and he shared a glance with the others.


"what?"

He sighed before continuing

"After you got drunk...you went with some dudes and got high." My eyes shot open. I got high?
Niall handed me some water and Tylenol.

"Then we tried talking to you but you were a new person...you said we were helping harry hurt you..then left with some guys. We spent the whol night looking for you." I felt really bad.

"Oh...I'm sorry..." Niall patted my back and the others smiled.

"It's fine. We had fun! Until the end when you left" louis said with a laugh. I smiled and stood wobbling a bit.

"I'm going to get a shower. I feal gross... " I said stumbling to my room.

When I got in there I was taken back by what I saw. Harry was passed out on my bed. He was in his boxers, his hair ruffled and eyes shut tightly as he slept. I felt a tear want to fall but refused. I shook my head before grabbing an outfit and walking into my bathroom locking the door. I made sure the water was extra hot so I could scrub the drugs and alcohol from my body.

I sat on the counter scrolling through the pics on my phone gasping at what I saw

the first picture was me and some guys playing some game with ping pong balls. The. The second was...OMG....I was laying on a table with my dress pulled up playing body shots. Some guys was making a line on my stomach to the center of my chest. The third was me on a table with my hands in the air dancing while people cracked up around me. Then the fourth was me smoking what looked like weed and drinking somthing with a group of familiar people. The last picture was me passed out in a window with beer..wow...



after looking through my pics I set my phone down and stepped back out to let the others no harry was in my room. When I got to the hallway everyone was in a hushed conversation so I stayed quiet and listend.

"I just can't believe she got high..." El said sadly.

" Well...I don't blame her for drinking..what harry said was an ass move...but ur right the getting high was a little much.."

" honestly..she over reacted..."Liam said with a sigh.I herd them go silent and looked to the ground.

"she's emotional...we just need to watch her I guess.." Louis said with a sigh.

theres the Pitty..and ouch...they really think I need them to take care of me? I'm that emotional...I blinked away tears and rushed into the bathroom and quickly peeled my cloths of. Slowly stepping into the shower I felt intstant relief as the hot water washed away last nights events. I took my time washing myself as I let the tears flow and thoughts run. I'm over emotional, I embarresed myself last night by over reacting, my parents hate me, Harry hurt me again, I just am a complete and utter inconvenience for every one...I can't go back to self harm and all that though, that will prove I'm an emotional reck....no, this time..I'm not running...I'm sick of being the week one...I'm always hurting and people see it... They use it against me...everyone hates me or sees me as week...I'm done with Pitty...maybe it's time I put the hurt away...maybe it's time i stop giving a fuck and show the world I'm not so weak...it's time I hide the hurt with a smile and a little sass...there's nothing wrong with locking up emotions...right?

i finished my shower quickly stepping out shivering as the cool air hit my warm skin. I dried my hair quickly and cracked the door looking to see harry was still asleep. I wanted a better out fit for what I was going to do today...

I stepped in my closet looking through the section of close el and the girls got me .i decided if I'm gonna turn my attitude around..I'll need a new look.. I grabbed this and quickly slipped it on.



I was a bit uncomfortable but new if I was gonna change I'd need to get used to it. I also no the others are gonna stare because I have never worn shorts or short sleeves..

I stepped into the bathroom fixing my hair and leaning over the counter. I was scared of this change and in so much pain from what harry had done and said...I was also still hurt from when my mom called, and hearing what the lads had said. but I'm tired of crying.. I have to do this...I'm alone in this world... I love the lads but a pit in my stomache says they just tolerate me now after seeing how much of a whimp and over reactor I am... So it's time to put on my mask and lock away my heart...I'm done...I quickly whipped away the tears on my face and applyed minimum make up. I nodded in the mirror sniffling a bit and stepped out of the room to see harry wide awak staring at me with a plane face.

his is lips parted as he saw what I was wearing. I looked to the ground taking in a breath as I stepped out leaving harry in my room.

i stepped out infront of the others who's eyes popped as they saw my outfit.

"ummm Hayden?" I gave them a smile before turning to the door.

"I'll be back in a bit, I'm going for a walk." They didn't answer just stared. I didn't like the attention but ignored it.

i walked down the streets of London following my instructions on my phone to a small parlor labeld "joes ink' I smiled at myself and stepped in. The air was thick and everyone looked almost goth.. A tall man walked up to me with a grin.

"how can I help a pretty lady like you?" I gave him a smirk before saying.

"I'd like a tattoo." He nodded and led me to a back room were I was seated.

"what did you have in mind?" I quickly dug into my purse pulling out a sketch of somthing I drew a while ago.

"May I borrow a pencil sir?" He nodded and handed it to me. I quickly erased a few details and added a few new things before handing him this.



"Very nice. You draw this?" I nodded and layed back.

"so were you want it?" I pointed to the area between my shoulder blades on my back.

"ok. Pull up your shirt and let's do this!"he said snapping his gloves on. I did as he said and waited while he set everything up. Next thing I no there is a sharp pain in my back and I wince.

when it's over he stands a mirror infront of me so I can see. It stretched from my left shoulder to my other and in big letters it said 'fight off your demons'. I smiled at the work nodding to him in approval. The words said so much..yet with so little.. To me . It means to struggle against the things in life that bother, torment, or otherwise negatively affect you. it meens to put up a barrier and not let the 'demons' take you over anymore. My demons are my emotions and myself..so it's time I fix it.

"thank you!" He smiled placing a large bandage on it. I handed him the money and grabbed my things.

"come again! And don't take that off till tomorrow!" He instructed as I left. I nodded and headed towards my flat.

as I came around the corner harry sat on a park bench with the blonde from the club in his lap. They were making out in plain sight. Wow...I gulped back tears and put a strong face on. I quickly and loudly stomped into the building earning a glare from the girl and a stare from harry. Say hello to the new Hayden...she's broken but strong. No one will ever see me hurt again.

~~~Harry's POV~~~

i mentally cursed as Hayden stomped into the building. this blonde bitch is getting on my nerves. She showed up last night and said that if I didn't do what she said she'd spread a nasty rumor about Hayden. I felt awful about what Hayden went through last night and now she saw me making out with the same chick. I'm getting worried though because Hayden isn't acting herself...ever since last night it's like...she ...I don't no..but she's not acting herself..I think I really hurt her.. Or somthing else is going on..

Notes

Ok so his story is getting really exciting for me to write! I have three chapters done already and there so far pretty good. I have so many ideas for it and can't wait to update. But first I want to have 4 people answer the questions below! If I get the responses by 12 o clock midnight tonight I'll update again. I'm in Eastern time:D

is Hayden changing her way of reaching out for help?

do you agree with her shoving away her emotions?

do you think the lads were right about her over reacting and being over emotional? Or do you understand her being sensitive?

will harry be able to help her through this?