When Nightmares Become Reality

His face had so much concern through it. ‘Are you okay, should I have woken you up or something, was my driving bad, are you still hungry’ he babbled on.
‘No, you drove fine, I didn’t need to be woken up’ I looked up as I slid out of the seat. ‘What happened to the message place, this is a restaurant?’ I looked around to see if it was across the street. No, just more restaurants. ‘Niall, I only agreed to come with you because in a message place you don’t talk, no offence or anything but I don’t really feel like socializing today, I just want to be by myself.’

‘I can’t let you do that, you should socialize. And besides I promised I would take you there, just not today, another day.’
I let out a breath as I closed the door and Niall locked the car. ‘Fine, but you’ll be talking. I’ll be listening.’ Just as I stopped speaking my stomach growled again. ‘Shut up’ I said looking down to my belly.

‘Let’s go inside, you’re hungry. Well your stomach is. What do you usually eat?’ he asked me opening the door waiting for me to walk in.
‘Anything, you pick for me’ the waiter came over to greet us and took us to a table out the back when she realized who Niall was.

When we took our seats and ordered Niall ordered some of the started garlic bread, and was delivered soon after. He took a piece just as I was about to ‘oh sorry, here you take it’ He said handing it to me and grabbing another piece for himself.
‘Thanks’ I said bringing it up to my mouth. ‘Don’t you think it’s a bit weird how they let me in the restaurant and I’m still in my pyjamas?’ I asked as Niall took a bite.

He nodded ‘Yeah, but maybe they don’t care. It’s not that fancy.’ He said and I could smell the garlic mixed with mint in his breath. I placed the bread down without eating it.
Our lunches were served and Niall ordered me chicken and steak for himself. I picked up the knife and fork and cut through my meat and brought it to my mouth. ‘So how is life back in Australia?’ Niall asked chewing his meat.

‘You mean, how WAS life back in Australia.’ I quickly corrected him.
‘Why was, do you not plan to go back?’ He said looking stunned.
‘I’m not wanted their’ I said putting my knife and fork down not feeling hungry anymore. ‘At least, not after my mum passed away.’
‘Wait a minute, why were you not wanted? By who?’
‘Don’t worry, you don’t need to worry’ I said feeling a tear drop from my eye and I quickly wiped it away. I picked my fork back up and started moving my food around my plate. I heard Niall put his down and I could feel him staring at me.

‘Jazz, I want to worry, I may not know you very much but I want to know you, so just let me. He said touching my hand but quickly removed it when I looked up at it. ‘Sorry, I just hate seeing people hurting and not being able to do anything about it.’
‘Don’t worry about it Niall, it’s not you, It’s just that I’ve learnt not to trust a lot of people and I don’t want to make the mistake of trusting the wrong people again. I said as I got up and started to walk towards the exit.

He put his hand out and touched my arm and I paused. ‘Jazz please’
‘Just let me go, I have to get home and practice my routine for tomorrow anyways, thanks for lunch’ I started to walk forward when I remembered that he had my keys. ‘Niall’ I started to turn around but he was already right behind me. ‘Can I have the keys to drive back to Danielle’s, I promise I’m okay to drive now’ He held the keys out and I took them from his hand. ‘Thank you’

When we got to the car Niall got in and we sat quietly driving back to Danielle’s.
He turned to face me in his seat and I broke the silence before him. ‘I’m sorry for yelling at you, it’s just like I said before, I’ve trusted the wrong people in the past and I don’t want to make the mistake again.’
He let out a breath slowly. ‘Let me show you, let me prove to you that I’m a trust worthy person and that I would never betray or misuse your trust.’ He really sounded like he meant it, but then again. They always do.

‘Maybe one day’ I said looking straight ahead ‘But not today.’
I stopped out the front of Danielle’s house. ‘Thanks for the day out today Niall, maybe we can do it another day, another day when I’m so in such a shit mood’
‘I hope so’ he said sliding out of his seat. ‘Good-bye Jazz’ he said as he closed the door.
‘I’m really sorry’ I said as I watched him walk to the front door and drove off.
When I got back to the apartment I noticed that Liz’s car was out of the shared garage, maybe she went to a friend’s house or to her shop that she just opened, it gave me time to make dinner and apologize for being such a bitch today.

I got up the two flights of stairs and opened my apartment door. The house smelt like it had been locked up all day. I walked around and opened the windows and curtains opening the kitchen one last, I stopped at the fridge and go all of the ingredients out for roast chicken, I put all of the herbs and spiced on the chicken and placed it in the oven just as Liz walked through the door, ‘Liz, I’m really sorry, it was just a really bad day for me toda-‘ She ran up to me and wrapped her arms around my neck.

‘It’s okay, I shouldn’t have nagged you. Your father called and told me what happened, why didn’t you tell me?’ she said letting me go.
‘Because I hate talking about it’ A flash back of the last vision I had of my mother came into my head, me yelling at her, saying that I hated her for not letting me go to a party.

‘If I didn’t run out, she wouldn’t have had to come out looking for me, and then she wouldn’t have been hit. I seen it all Liz! All of it, I seen her struggling to get out, I seen the fuel dripping and I seen the car blow up! I saw her face before she died! You know how that makes me feel. Guilt and grief consume me, especially on this day! It was all my fault! She’s dead because of me!’ I felt Liz’s arms around me and the tears roll down my cheeks again.

Notes

~Chloe
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