Loose Change (Harry Styles) [BOOK 2]

It's done. Everything's done between us. Just his simple words finally deteriorated me completely to the point of oblivion. He told me that I had to leave him and all I could do was stand there still in a paralyzed state, his words giving me frostbite and causing all of my insides to just freeze. I should have said something, I should have fought back, but my inner coward possessed my body as a whole completely, and just allowed it to happen. I knew that if I said something or even begged that he would think less of me and see just how hopeless and pessimistic I am without him.

This isn't supposed to happen. This wasn't supposed to happen! It just isn't right for a human being to just depend on someone this much. For someone to require the presence of a person more than the presence of oxygen. These thoughts of attachment and just of him in general are beginning to frighten me and I'm beginning to think that maybe this would be good for me. But then again it wouldn't, it won't! I may be going insane, maybe even psychotic, but it's because I need him. I want him.

And as I continue trying to persuade one of the flight attendants to just let me down before this plane finally takes off, Aiden is just looking at me with a concerned face.

"Jane, the plane won't crash. I swear." Aiden says as I feel his hand place itself upon my own. Completely lost about my actual feelings and thoughts.

I ignore him as I continue trying to get an attendant's attention. I think they're trying to avoid me on purpose. The blonde one from earlier gave me a distasteful glare before and I'm guessing she told all of her fellow employees about me.

"Miss!" I say, reaching my hand across the aisle, hoping that the lady will finally notice.
She glances down at the cart beneath her chin and pretends as if I'm imaginary. I sometimes really detest people.

"Excuse me miss."

I turn to my right to see Aiden raising his hand and trying to get her attention. I'm guessing for me.

The lady finally comes and I just feel myself snort out of disbelief in disgust as she bats her eyelashes at Aiden.

"What would you like love?" She questions with her fake white teeth and smudged deep red lipstick in her british accent. British...

Fuck you Harry Styles.

"Um I think my lady here needs your assistance, so if you would please..." Aiden continues, the lady's smile becoming forced and annoyed as her eyes turn to me.

I force a grin myself before glancing at the cart behind her.

"A warm towel if you please." I command.

The plane just began moving, so I doubt that they'll stop it, no matter how hysterical I make myself perceive. So I decide to just make this lady's life a little hard. She was unfairly rude to me and I know it's not nice, but I'm tired of backing down. I always say I will defend myself, but when it comes to the event, I just cradle myself like a coward and bite my tongue.

"We don't have any at the moment." She grimaces.

"Then make it happen. Every plane has warm towels."
She rolls her eyes.

"Other people really need me, so just deal with your own issues lady." She spits out.
I feel myself beginning to stand up, but Aiden quickly stops me with his arm.

"You need to buckle up Jane. The plane is beginning to go into the air. Besides, she's not worth it." He comments, receiving yet another eye roll from the delightful woman.

She scoffs before calmly walking to the end of the plane, most likely sitting down herself.
I do as Aiden says and I just close my eyes before taking a deep breath.

"I don't know what came over me." I say as I feel the plane beginning to lift into the air.

"I know. I thought you were going to beat her up." He jokes.

I open my eyes and I chuckle a little before flicking the side of his arm.

He sticks his tongue playfully at me and I do the same, reminding me of the time we were in his tree house when I was six and he was eight. We just kept on competing against each other that day whether it be a contest over intelligence, art skills, speed, and the most challenging of all...strength. I actually beat him, pushing him to the ground successfully and well, flicking him violently. Balloons as well as other childish decorations were spread out everywhere, with an empty table filled with mountains of food. But the thing is, that no one came.

I expected a whole army of children to come that day, but when I arrived, the backyard was completely empty and the only thing that was actually there was the bright blue ball Aiden always played with by himself. Now that I think of it, I've never seen Aiden really play with other kids beside me. And even when I was in my teens, living in that dreadful apartment, he came everyday to visit me; never having to leave early or anything because of plans he had with friends or even a friend.

As I glance over at Aiden next to me who is staring intently at the window beside him with a soft grin spread on his lips, I can't help but lock our arms together like we used to.
I rest my head on his shoulder and I stare down at our shoes. His black chucks and my white ones. The one's Harry got me.

He's always been there for me and maybe I have been a little harsh with him lately. I may never love him again in the way I used to, but I do love him. I love him as my best friend, as my brother. I think he knows of my feelings since he has not spoken of the event that occurred yesterday, and I hope he never does.

"The two musketeers." I say.

I hear him chuckle beside me, a nice calm chuckle and I feel my lips turn into a smile.

"The two musketeers." He repeats.
...

"When's she coming back?" Aiden questions as we both enter Kat's apartment. Ah, home sweet home.

I take a deep breath, feeling as if I've just entered a new world of some sort. I really need sleep, but right now I need to just take a shower, suck it up, and visit Rose. I miss the ten year old like how Gemma had missed Harry.

God, why does everything always have to go back to him? I tangle my fingers through my hair and I inhale deeply again.

"Katherine is coming back in um two days." I answer his question.
He nods, his hands in his pockets. We first went to his home so he could shower and change.

Thankfully, my mother was not there and is actually no longer in Virginia. According to Angie, she left back to Texas shortly after our reunion. Great, one less wench to worry about.
Now were at my place and Aiden just sits himself down in one of the couches.

"You can watch some TV or something if you want." I say.

He shrugs before taking out his phone.

"I um actually have some calls I have to make about the um club." He states in a suspicious tone.

I raise an eyebrow and he just chuckles.

"JJ don't tell anyone, but I'm secretly a spy and I'm working for the Queen of England. This call can save all of Europe. Your life may be in danger now that you know this by the way." He jokes.
I roll my eyes before laughing a little.

"Oh I'm much more worried for the Queen's life than my own if she has you as a spy." I tease.
He gasps and we both just laugh some more.

"I'm gonna go take a shower, change, and then we can go. Maybe we can get some McDonald's on the way?" I comment, still chuckling a little.

He responds with a wide grin, his teeth slightly showing as he nods.

"Okay. Sounds great."

I nod back before turning around and sauntering my self to Carly's room. I still don't really like labeling it as my own since originally it was for Kat's daughter and even though I wish I held the honor, I'm not her daughter. Just Jane.

I'm glad Aiden's here with me. Even though I feel that our kiss was the reason why Harry left or in his words, why I left. But still. I'm not really thinking about everything negative that's going on with my life right now and I'm proud of myself for that.

I walk to the drawers to grab my undergarments and my outfit for the day. Gemma kind of inspired me to dress a little nicer, so I think I'll wear a white long sleeve floral shirt with my light colored jeans and Carly's beautiful leather jacket. I really love that jacket.

As I rummage through the cluttered drawer to find the shirt, I feel my mood diminish in satisfaction as my eyes land on something.

His present.

I take out the recognizable book with the dark green hard cover and gold lettering and I just begin tracing over the words Peter and Wendy.

I remember the day I got it for him.

The day he left to Paris, I walked all the way to the antique shop he took me to and I couldn't stop staring at it. I brought all the money I saved for my father's watch that day, knowing that the book would cost a fortune since it was in perfect condition and looked like one of the first copies ever published. The old man that worked there told me that it cost fifteen thousand dollars. He explained to me some things about the way that it was typed and the pattern on the cover and other things I can't remember.

I definitely could not afford it. All I had was two thousand and fifty seven dollars and twelve cents.
But the thing is that he remembered me as well as him.

"You want to buy it for your guy don't you?" He asked me.

I smiled slightly pained at his words. I missed Harry so much that day since I knew that I wouldn't see him for many days, maybe even weeks.

"Yeah." I simply responded, staring hopelessly at the book with my faded smile.

"It's all yours if you want it you know." He replied in his faint elderly voice.

"I don't have enough."

As I began placing the book back on the shelf, his wrinkly wrist stopped my hand. When I turned to him, he had one of the most genuine smiles I've ever seen.

"Take it." He whispered.

I felt my eyes widen and I tried protesting, but he just began chuckling.

"No. Please do. My mother used to read it to me every night when I was a boy and I much rather you have it than some wealthy snob who would just most likely sell it once again, leading to an endless array of sales and homelessness for this treasure."

I smiled and just held the book close to my chest.

"I'll take good care of it. I swear."

His thin lips spread wider and he nodded. I tried giving him the money I had so he could at least get some income from it, but he refused. He told me how he had a stack of paintings from a famous artist from the eighteen hundreds and how some collector was looking into buying them and how he would make enough income from that alone. They're worth eight thousand minimum each piece. There were eleven.

Now the book was hidden in between my clothing, making sure that if Harry ever came, he would never find it. But now, that doesn't matter... It's not for my guy anymore, but now just for me I guess.

I rub my hand softly over the cover one last time before placing it on top of the wardrobe and walking with my clothes and towel to the bathroom.

...

"I hadn't had that in forever." I state as I crumple up the empty McDonalds bag.
Aiden laughs beside me.

"Me neither. I much rather have an egg mc muffin than toast and marmalade any day." He remarks as he turns into the right lane.

"Okay let's not go that far. Have you ever had peach marmalade?" I question, defending my favorite breakfast cuisine.

"Nope. Good?"

"Good? Good?!? Peach marmalade is from the heavens above. It's life itself! It's It's-"

"Spectacular?" Aiden adds, a foolish grin on his face.

"It's more than spectacular Aiden, it's life enhancing!" I joke, most likely sounding like an exaggerated moron.

"Woah that's deep."

I just nod my head and Aiden glances at me briefly, laughing uncontrollably.

I join him and the room just begins to fill with tranquility and joy. It's kind of weird seeing Aiden so grown up. I mean he even has hair stubble. But the thing I like about him is how even though he's taller and his voice is deeper, he's the same. And that's relieving.

"We're here." He says as he parks into an empty spot.

My laughter has died and now I'm just staring at the building. I can see Rose's foster mother's door as well as my fathers and I feel...well I don't really know what to feel at this moment and that's strange but comforting I guess.

I would usually be shaking uncontrollably right now at even the thought of running into my father again, but I think I've changed a little. I used to be so terrified of change, so terrified of the idea of not knowing what is to come. But as I continue looking at the building, I know that the little girl I care so much about is actually there alive and no man, even if he is wearing that horrific red cloak will stop me. This is reality and I think it's time for me to finally wake up.

"Are you okay?" Aiden asks.

I unbuckle my seatbelt before looking over at him and nodding.

"Yeah. I think I am."

He gives me a reassuring smile which I reflect before we both escape his car.

When we finally get upstairs, I notice how Mrs. Jones' door is wide open, people stepping in and out. Some are holding plates of food, others presents, and some people holding both. Aiden and I both glance at each other confused before we both decide to walk in.

People left and right are engaging in random conversation with each other and after bumping into a few people, I practically scream when I feel someone touch me. Aiden looked a little startled himself and we both turn around to see Mrs. Jones wearing a lovely purple dress as well as a bright smile.

She's holding a baby bottle filled with milk in one hand and a young little boy's hand in her other.
The little boy hides behind her legs in a shy adorable way, and Aiden quickly bends down to his level and begins talking to him while I keep my attention on Mrs. Jones.

"Hi Mrs. Jones. I'm sorry to be intruding bu-"

She laughs a little and shakes her head slightly.

"No, it's fine. Everyone is welcome to join us on this joyous day! Rose is back and I want her to see how much everyone truly does care for her." She chirps.

I force a smile and I nod my head.

Rose must hate this. She doesn't like it when everyone's attention is on her and she really isn't someone who's fond of people in general.

"That's very generous of you. And um where is Rose by the way?"

Her eyes widen in realization and she smiles again.

"Oh my, I'm babbling and you most likely want to see her. I'll go get her now. Um can you two maybe-"

I look down to see Aiden tickling the little boy's stomach and the little boy giggling. The sight is so endearing, I can't help but watch them for a little.

"I don't mind." Aiden answers as he stands back up, fixing his jeans.

He then glances at the little boy again.

"Roger, do you want to play with me and my friend Jane over here?" He asks.

Mrs. Jones smiles reassuringly at Roger and he looks up at her before finally nodding and taking Aiden's hand as well as his milk bottle from the woman's hand.

It's a shame that Angie never had more children. Aiden would've been a great big brother.
Mrs. Jones claps her hands together before her eyes roam from me to Aiden.

"Well I'm going to go get the girl of the hour. You guys can grab some food or something to drink if you want by the way."

Aiden and I both thank her before she finally walks off.

"You want to see my toys?" Roger questions in his sweet little high pitched voice.

"Sure. I would love to!" Aiden responds in an excited tone, his focus only on the boy.

He suddenly looks at me.

"Can my friend Jane come as well?" He adds.
Roger crosses his arms together and shakes his head with a pouty lip.

"No. She's a girl."
Aiden's eyes fill with uncertainty as he turns to me and I just chuckle.

"Go on. I can survive." I say.
Aiden begins to contemplate with himself but I just cut him off by nodding.

"Go on." I repeat.

He smiles before looking back at the boy.

"What kind of toys do you have?"

Roger's face lights up completely and he just begins to drag Aiden by his hand to his room I'm guessing.

Roger has many similar features as Mrs. Jones. With Mrs. Jones blue eyes and beautiful dark colored skin, I feel that he is her biological son and not a foster child like Rose.
Mrs. Jones I can tell was born from a country in Africa due to her strong accent and semi cultural decor. There are really cool tribal looking masks hung all around and I just love how she embraces her culture and traditions. I know that Rose must like it too. She used to tell me how her mother used to bring her map books and she loved learning about the different parts of the world.

I walk over to one of the masks, with my hands awkwardly shoved in my pockets and as I admire the amazingly crafted pattern, two women with plates of food in their hands stand next to me. They're just chatting on about artwork and are ignoring me completely. I know I should maybe socialize, but Rose is coming and I want to give my full attention to her and no one else.

"I heard that Hazel Derman's work has been hung in that new museum in California. Me and Robby are going there next week and I can't wait to see it." I hear one of them state.
California. Could she be talking about the one I went to?

Nah. I bet there's many art museums in California due to it's very enlarged art community. But then again...

I decide to continue listening.

"Oh yeah I heard about that! She's also searching for some young artist's to mentor. Who ever has her as a mentor is sure to gain success."

The other woman takes a quick bite of her chicken as she nods.

"Yeah. I agree. And speaking of young artists, have you seen her daughter's work? I think her name is Giselle."

The woman shakes her head and I quickly glance back at the mask, pretending to focus on it as a man passes me by. I don't want anyone to know that I'm listening and their conversation is actually quite intriguing. I may look up this Hazel Derman and her artwork one day. Maybe her daughter too.

"I'm sure you heard of her. She's the one that you saw on TMZ yesterday at Dan's party. The one that was seen with that Harry fellow in California."

I feel my eyes widen and my heart stop. No. She can't mean my Harry. It can't be. It-

"Oh. She's the one that was with Harry Styles at that restaurant last night!"

The lady nods.

"She's really beautiful. Wonder if he's gonna cheat on her."

My heart shatters in my chest and all the sadness I was blocking out begins to envelope me.
That's why he wanted me to go. He fell for this chick and wanted me out of the picture. I bet she was the art girl Harry was on the phone with yesterday. And the thing is that if these ladies are right, then he went out with her only a few hours after I left. Just a few hours...

I feel myself beginning to sniffle and I just close my eyes, trying to control myself.

"I want to go back to my room."

My eyes slowly open at the sound of her voice and I quickly wipe my nose. You know what, I won't cry over him this time. After all of the shit I've been through, I know that I do deserve happiness. I deserve to smile.

When I turn around, I see Rose walking side by side with Mrs. Jones.

She's wearing the sweater I left here and seems annoyed.

"Come on Rose. She's been waiting to see you." I hear Mrs. Jones respond.

"Who? I don't understand why you invited all of your neighbors when none of them even know me." Rose asks.

"Sweetie." Her foster mother tries getting to her, but Rose just rolls her eyes.

"It's just th-"

Rose stops and just stares blankly at me when I approach her. She has dark circles under her eyes, she's gotten thinner, and her face looks paler.

"Rose." I say, wanting to hug her for dear life.

She just shakes her head quickly as her eyes begin to gloss and begins to walk backwards away from me.

What?

I reach my hand for her causing her to just cry more.

She's treating me as if I just killed someone, and I'm hoping with all my being that it wasn't her and that I am still innocent.

"Rose." I repeat, my voice cracking.

She continues shaking her head and takes off my jacket, throwing it on the floor before turning around and running past her mother away from me.

At the sight of her many visible bruises covering her arms, I begin shaking in place. She acted as if I was a monster. What did I do?

"I'm so sorry dear. She's been through a lot. Just wait here and I'll bring her back." Mrs. Jones announces with concern polluting her tone and face.

I don't nod and I don't speak. I don't know what to do or how to react.

She's been through a lot.

What has she been through recently? Why does she have bruises? Why did she run away from me?

Is she my Skylar?

People continue chatting around me and I know that their subject of conversation is what just occurred and I don't care as long as they're not speaking badly about Rose. Because Rose isn't bad nor will she ever be. I am the monster, the beast. I should be the one talked horribly about. Not her.

"One of Roger's friends came so now I'm all yo- what's wrong?" I hear Aiden state as he walks to my side.

"Everything." I whisper.

He pulls me in for a hug which I take and I just begin to cry into his shirt.

I don't deserve to feel happy. I don't deserve to smile. I don't know what I've done to her, but the shock on her face alone will forever be engraved in my mind.

God, I hate myself. No. God I hate myself.

"Shh. Everything is going to be alright Jane. I swear." Aiden mutters as he rubs small circles on my back comfortingly.

"It won't. It never does. It never will. Everyone hates me and I'm glad they do." I say.

He pushes me away slightly and his eyes are now glossing.

"I will never hate you Jane. I love you, remember?"

I just stand there trembling as I peer into his caramel eyes before wrapping my arms loosely around him again.

"Aiden."

Aiden's whole body tenses and my breathing begins to pace faster at the sound of my father's voice.

I push Aiden away and turn my attention to my father who is holding a present wrapped with tacky bright pink wrapping paper as well as a terrified expression as he continues looking at Aiden.

"Ted." Aiden simply responds before I feel my body fall to the ground and my mind turns black.

Notes