Loose Change (Harry Styles) [BOOK 2]

Jane's POV
I begin to twirl a piece of my hair around my right index finger as Harry stops the car right in front of Katherine's apartment.
After our moment that Harry and I shared, we both thought it would be a good idea to just drop me off. A. because his head still hurts slightly, and B. I don't quite know what that moment meant to him...If it was just a one- time thing to get me to shut up or because he felt something strong for me and I really need to just take a long warm shower and a nap to think things through. But of course, I didn't tell him that, I just told him that I didn't want to keep Katherine alone, which is another reason as well, so I technically didn't lie to him.
The whole ride was silent, and by the tightness of his grip on the steering wheel, I can tell that he was thinking about something the whole time, making me feel nervous. What if he's just going to ignore me again? What if this is the last I see him? What if-
"Jane."
I turn my head slowly to see how his eyes are directly upon me, making me feel small and debilitated. My finger continues twirling in an un willing manner and I am beginning to feel annoyed with myself.
"Yes?" I ask.
His eyes dart to my hand, and he slowly places his own, stopping my frantic and repetitive action, on it delicately.
I feel my whole body freeze as well as my cheeks burn furiously when he tangles his fingers with my own. For a second I believe that I am only dreaming and that I will just wake up, to feel disappointed with my life once again, but soon realize that it's all real as I feel him squeeze my hand and see the small smile that plasters on his face as he looks gapingly into my eyes.
I just want to get my sketch book out right now, just so I could just draw him and relive this moment forever, because he looks so calm and angelic, as if he is light itself and darkness is anything that isn't his eyes, with their beautiful emerald green color and magnificently astonishing glow.
"Would you be willing to wake up early and perhaps come to the studio tomorrow?" He questions, his hand still holding my own.
"Um sure, but may I ask what for?"
He licks his lips and smirks nervously, as if he's trying to keep his 'smooth' and 'cool' composure, when in actuality he is very uneasy and even a little impotent.
"I want to spend the whole day with you...If you w-want to, I mean-"
"I would love to." I interrupt, his cheeks turning slightly pink. Oh God he's killing me.
He chuckles a little before smiling wide, his dimples popping out and all I can do is smile back, trying to hold in my excitement.
"That's great. Um meet me at six thirty?"
I just nod and he mirrors my action, his smile still evident.
"Okay." He simply replies, his lips touching each other once again.
He loosens his fingers from my hand and places his thumb on the top of it, bringing it up to his lips and placing a soft kiss upon it.
I feel my smile falter and my lips separate at his gesture. I guess he's not going to ignore me after all.
We both say our goodbyes and I can't help but look back to see him drive off, my hand holding my other, and my thumb rubbing over the spot in which he set his beautiful lips upon.
After knocking about twice, Katherine answers the door.
"Sorry I didn't call to tell you that um Harry dropped me off." I say as I walk passed her, strolling my way to her living area.
"Harry dropped you off? What happened?"
I plop myself down on her couch and she soon joins me, her attention never leaving me.
I place my fingers over my lips for a second before placing my hand on my lap.
"Um well I mean we talked about it and-"
One chuckle escapes my lips as the memory repeats itself in my thoughts.
"Jane."
I glance at her and I feel heat begin to rise to my cheeks.
"He kissed me." I mutter.
She raises an eyebrow and moves her body closer to mine, as if to see if she is hearing correctly.
"Wait. He kissed you?"
I nod.
"So he told you what he felt?" She questions further.
I bite my bottom lip and she shakes her head a little in disapproval.
"Jane."
"Look I mean he didn't really answer the question, but I mean-"
"Didn't really? It's either completely or not at all. So did he answer or not?"
She crosses her arms, her eyes narrowed in concentration.
"No."
She sighs and her features soften.
"Jane. I just don't know. I mean this boy....I don't know sweetie."
I feel anger beginning to form slightly within me.
"Boy? He's not just some boy Kat. He's a boy that- that kissed me. And he wants to actually spend time with me tomorrow. I think he likes me Kat. I really do."
She shakes her head again, annoying me.
"That's my point. He isn't some boy but he acts like one. Like I've told you before, he's an alcoholic womanizer Jane. He has serious issues, and I don't think you should get yourself into that."
Is she being serious right now?
"What? But weren't you the one who told me to ask how he feels about me in the first place? Did you think that he was going to reject me or something?" I question, not believing the words that have been released from her mouth. She doesn't know Harry personally. And that's the problem. No one does. That's why everyone assumes all these horrible things about him, because they haven't gotten to know what he's really like, how I have.
"That's not what I meant! I just thought it would best for you to get closure, so you wouldn't feel depressed about everything like last time. You're like my daughter, and no mother likes seeing their daughter hurt in any way."
I feel my body calm at her words. She's just worried and I should appreciate the fact that she cares for me this much.
"Thank you for your concern Katherine, but I just can't live life hiding in a box because someone told me that the world is bad. I have to find out for myself, because what truly is living without taking risks? You know?"
She nods a little.
"You're right. I just don't want you to get hurt."
I wrap my arms around her, her fragile ones wrapping around me in return.
"I don't know what's going to happen Kat and trust me, I'm scared out of my mind. But he's worth it."
She lets go.
"I hope you're right."
I nod.
"I am. I know I am."
...
Katherine and I are in her car heading to the studio. Since it is the middle of the week, Katherine has to get to the shelter early to help cook breakfast, so she's dropping me off on the way.
"Why does he want you at the studio?" She asks.
I shake my head as I continue staring out the window.
"I'm not sure."
And the truth is that I am really lost about that. I don't know what we are going to be doing and I'm sort of nervous.
I mean there is always a crowd outside the studio, at least when I was there. What if I get mobbed again or even worse, they mob Harry. I shake a little uncomfortably in my seat at the thought.
"Don't worry Jane. They always have security there and besides it is six-thirty in the morning on a school day. I doubt people are going to be there. Maybe a few, but most likely less than a handful." Katherine reads my mind and reassures me.
I notice as we turn, how people in expensive clothes and auto mobiles are beginning to pass us and appear. A woman wearing a thick dark brown trench coat and expensive leather red ankle boots that matches her lips is walking hand in hand with a tall man that is wearing a black leather jacket with dark denim jeans and black dress shoes, most likely made of italian leather.
Sometimes I wonder how my life would have been if my father never met my mother, if I was never born. He would most likely still be wealthy and would have a nice caring and loyal wife with maybe a few sons and daughters. He would be happy and wouldn't have abandoned them, for he would love them with all of himself, because they would be deserving of all of that. And maybe instead, his wife would be the red lipped women and he would be the joyful looking man in the leather jacket holding her hand and looking at her as if she was the best thing to ever happen to him and his being.
"I can go down with you if you want."
I shake my thoughts to see how the car is now stopped in the back of the studio. My eyes land on Katherine's concerned face and I just force a smile before shaking my head.
"No It's fine. But thank you." I state.
"Of course." she responds with a reassuring grin.
I wave good bye and unbuckle my seatbelt before finally getting off, both of my hands balled into fists due to my edgy and tense thoughts.
I hear her vehicle drive off behind me, and my eyes begin to roam for a door of some sort or just any sign of where I am supposed to go.
"Jane!"
My eyes land on Harry who is coming out from a hidden door I did not know existed. He's wearing a simple long sleeved dark gray shirt, his black faded jeans, and his favorite worn out brown boots with a black beanie over his head.
Before I know it, I feel my wrist being tugged and Harry dragging me inside.
The door closes automatically by itself behind us and Harry just continues to lead me to where ever he's planning to keep me hostage.
We're walking down a hallway that is covered with many frames with gold and silver CDs within them, the scent of coffee polluting the air.
"Where are you taking me?" I ask, a playful smile spreading on my lips.
He suddenly walks me into a simple room with white walls, two black couches at the end, a glass recording room with one microphone, a bunch of technology that I can't even pronounce, and tables filled with delicious breakfast cuisine.
"Here." He retorts as he releases my wrist and points around the room.
I feel myself laugh a little.
"Is this the recording room?"
He walks in front of me and nods as he continues smiling.
"Yeah. What do you think?"
"Too be honest. It's really cool!" I remark honestly.
He chuckles a little at my reaction.
"Am I going to watch you record?" I question, still unsure of why he wanted to bring me to this place specifically.
"Well kind of."
I raise an eyebrow.
"The guys are coming in about an hour, so we're really the only ones here."
"Why did you want me to come here so early?"
He grabs my hand, causing my cheeks to flush, before sitting us both down on one of the couches.
"There is someone I kind of want you to meet." He mutters. His face only inches away from mine.
Even with the dark circles under his eyes, he still looks un real.
"Okay." I whisper back, smiling a little.
He nods, his hand still holding mine, before turning his head to the side.
"You can come out now mate!" He yells.
I squeeze his hand tighter out of anticipation and I hear him turn his gaze back to me, his eyes landing on our hands. His lips part a little, before he licks them and smiles.
"Is she here?"
Harry and I both turn our heads to a red headed man that is holding a guitar, walking from the door.
Harry laughs before standing up, our hands releasing, and giving him a friendly pat on the back.
"Yeah she's right here actually. Jane, this is Ed. And Ed this is Jane."
I stand up and I shake the man with the very familiar name's hand.
"How are ya love?" He asks.
He seems very polite with his welcoming blue eyes and shy smile.
"Good. How about yourself?"
He nods.
"Same."
I nod.
"I would just like to point out that your hair color is really cool." I state.
He laughs and nudges Harry's arm.
"Why don't you ever compliment me like that?" He jokes.
Harry just laughs and rolls his eyes.
"Well Jane. I brought my guitar and I would love to play for you." Ed says as he turns his attention back to me.
He must be a professional guitar player of some sort, but I don't know why he wants to play for me out of all people.
"That sounds lovely." I reply.
Harry sits back down on the couch, and pats the spot next to him, motioning me to join him once again.
I do as he says and I scoot myself next to him, still feeling confused.
Ed sits himself down on the floor in front of us, and I feel a little guilty.
"Would you like my seat?" I offer.
He chuckles and shakes his head.
"No it's okay. Besides, this song is dedicated to you today from my boy Harold today."
I glance at Harry to see him already staring at me and I feel myself swallow hard as the boy begins to play his guitar.
I feel my eyes widen and my mouth drop as I recognize the song. It's the song that Harry played in his car that day when he took me to see the graffiti walls.
The fact that he remembered and the fact that he got this talented human to perform for me, is causing me to feel paralyzed as well as free at the same time. And I don't know how that can be.
The words begin to echo through my ears and I begin to listen to them and their meaning more deeply.
She's like cold coffee in the morning
I'm drunk off last night's whiskey and coke
She'll make me shiver without warning
And make me laugh as if I'm in on the joke
And you can stay with me forever
Or you could stay with me for now
My heart is beating fast in my chest and all I want to do is be in Harry's arms and tell him how much I care for him, because this gesture is just adding to my adoration for this being and I don't know if I'll be able to breathe normally when I'm around him again. This feeling I feel for him is suffocating me entirely and I have never thought that I would ever love feeling this breathless.
I grab his hand and I just hold it tight in my hold, not wanting to let go.
Tell me if I'm wrong, tell me if I'm right
Tell me if you need a loving hand
To help you fall asleep tonight
Tell me if I know, tell me if I do
Tell me how to fall in love the way you want me to
I'll wake with coffee in the morning
But she prefers two lumps of sugar and tea
Outside the day is up and calling
But I don't have to be so, please go back to sleep
Stay with me forever
Or you could stay with me for now
Tell me if I'm wrong, tell me if I'm right
Tell me if you need a loving hand
To help you fall asleep tonight
Tell me if I know, tell me if I do
Tell me how to fall in love the way you want me to
Cause I love the way you wake me up
For goodness sake will my love not be enough?
Tell me if I'm wrong, tell me if I'm right
Tell me if you need a loving hand
To help you fall asleep tonight
Tell me if I know, tell me if I do
Tell me how to fall in love the way you want me to
Tell me if I'm wrong, tell me if I'm right
Tell me if you need a loving hand
To help you fall asleep tonight
I feel myself clap as soon as he finishes, causing Ed to blush.
"Thank you." He says humbly.
"That was just so beautiful." I state, trying to keep myself calm.
He chuckles.
"Thank you again. I am very glad you enjoyed it. Actually I-"
A buzzing sound begins to echo through the room, and the red headed boy apologizes before answering his phone and strolling out of the room.
"Did you like it?"
I turn my head to face Harry and I literally have to stop myself from kissing his entire face at that exact moment. That would be very odd.
"I loved it." I whisper before nodding my head quickly.
He smiles and begins to stare at me with his eyes glowing, and his smile revealing itself.
"You're the first you know." I hear myself say in a soft tone.
"What? You have never had your celebrity friend's celebrity friend sing for you before? That's quite odd. Everyone has had that at least done about twice in their life." He jokes.
I chuckle a little.
"Well that, but also something else." I say, my tone becoming more serious.
His smile drops, and he gives my hand a reassuring squeeze.
"What else?"
I look down at my lap, before meeting his eyes again.
"You're the first person that hasn't left." I mutter.
His eyebrows furrow as he scoots himself closer to me, our thighs touching.
"Please don't leave me. I- I want to keep you." I add.
I feel a tear stream down my face, which he quickly catches with his thumb softly and I close my eyes.
"Jane I-"
"Okay so what do y- Oh am I interrupting something?" Ed says as he enters the room again, guilt spread all over his face.
I let go of Harry's hand and I wipe all the liquid from my face before forcing a smile.
"No. Everything's fine. Um, why don't we all eat something. I'm pretty hungry." I say, trying to change the subject before I walk to one of the food covered tables.
Ed and Harry soon follow behind and we just enjoy the doughnuts, the coffee, and the company as the morning progresses.
...
The boys soon came after, Ed having to leave early due to a 'gig' he had to attend. Ed was a real polite and funny guy, and I really hope that Harry keeps him as a friend, since he seems like a reliable one to have.
I hugged and greeted the rest of the exhausted looking boys once they came, hugging Louis probably the tightest.
He seemed a little on edge, not really making any eye contact with me and even being quiet practically the whole time. I made a mental note to myself to ask him about it later, when he seems more comfortable.
But besides that, everything went splendidly. I actually got to hear them each sing and I don't think I have ever smiled that much in my entire life.
Liam's voice was so soft and smooth, Niall's was delicate and sweet, Zayn's was strong and powerful, Louis' was beautiful and enchanting, and Harry's....Harry's voice resembled the chords of a violin. So captivating and addicting. It held a raspy yet wispy tone, leaving my whole body covered in goose bumps. He actually thought I was cold and all I could do was just blush and shake my head like a moron, receiving an adorable chuckle.
They sang the choruses for the songs Half a Heart and Right now and they just harmonized perfectly together. I'm already planning to purchase all of their albums when I have enough money, not even because I know them, but for the music itself. I can just hear all the passion in their voices and I can tell that they really do enjoy what they're doing. I felt honored that I even got to be there and witness everything live.
I was introduced to everyone in the '1D team' as Niall calls the staff. They were all very polite too, especially this woman named Lou and Paul who I've heard much about.
Right now, Harry and I are in his car and he's taking me to an unknown destination, causing my nerves to go crazy.
"All of your voices were just so... they were so spectacular." I state as he turns into a miniature plaza.
He smiles.
"You think so?"
I nod.
"I know so. You all are truly talented you know. Especially you I mean-"
I feel myself blush and I just chuckle.
"You were just really good." I finish, not wanting to embarrass myself by gushing over his voice.
He laughs beside me as he puts the car in park.
"Thank you." He whispers, with his eyes now on me.
I just nod because that's all I can really respond with lately, since everything that comes out of my mouth causes me utter humiliation.
We both get out of his car, him locking it right after, and we begin to walk to one of the stores in this small area.
The word Antiques is plastered on the top of the door, and I turn my head to Harry to see how he's smiling.
"This is where I got your frame." He states.
I smile back at him as we both enter the cute and quaint shop.
It smells of a mixture of smoke and detergent, but I really don't mind. Everything in here is most likely outdated and all dusty, so I'm not really surprised by the aroma.
A small bell rings as the door closes, a small old man greeting us from behind the counter, Harry and I greeting back.
The store has white walls and a rug replacing the usual tile floor.
"This place is so cool." I state honestly as I walk to a stack of paintings in the corner of the room, observing each one in awe.
I see one that is a painting of a sail boat in the middle of the ocean. It was done with oil paint, I can tell, and I absolutely adore it. By the slightly faded color, I can tell that this was painted long ago.
"It's pretty bewitching isn't it?" Harry says from behind me.
I chuckle.
"Bewitching? What a fancy word." I tease.
I gasp a little as I feel him wrap his arms around my waist from behind, pulling me closer to him.
He places his lips to my ear, and that feeling of suffocation is beginning to haunt me.
"Bewitching." He whispers.
I swallow hard and before I can respond, or even think of responding, he releases me and I slowly turn around to see him walking to a box.
I take a deep breath and I place my hair on my side before walking up to him, to see what he's looking at.
"W-what are you looking at?" I question.
Dang, of course I would stutter. He chuckles at my embarrassment before bending down to grab the box, turning around soon after to show me.
It's filled with hats that look like they were from the 40's.
I laugh before I grab Harry's beanie from his head and I replace it with a burgundy colored hat with a black plastic rose pasted on it.
"You look quite ravishing miss." I say in a terrible British accent.
He bats his eyelashes quickly, causing me to laugh.
"Oh why thank you. I just bought this from the most precious little store. You would've just loved it Herbert." He states in a high pitched western accent.
I raise an eyebrow.
"Herbert?" I question.
He smiles before placing the box on the floor and grabbing a black suede fedora, placing it on my head.
"I even did you the honor of buying this for you. Oh Herbert, I truly do hope you enjoy it." He continues.
I bite my lip, trying to hold in my laughter as I stand up straight.
I place his beanie on a shelf before grabbing a piece of my hair and placing it over my lip.
"Oh Margaret. This hat is not manly enough for me and my manly self. What will the guys say when they see me wearing a hat from a female store?" I respond in a deep tone, trying to mock a man's voice.
I hear the clerk laugh from his counter, causing both Harry and I to laugh our butts off.
"Have you ever thought about acting? You have a true talent." Harry says as he places both of our hats back in the box, grabbing his beanie and putting it back over his head.
"My fantastic acting would be too overwhelming for everyone. So sadly I can never." I reply as I stroll to a shelf of books.
"That is such a great misfortune for everyone. If only they could truly see you at work." He adds as he walks right next to me.
I shrug and I nod my head.
"Maybe one day the world will be ready for Jane Ande-"
I feel my eyes widen and I quickly laugh awkwardly, hoping he won't notice my mistake. Shit.
"Jane?" Harry asks as he stands on the left of me, staring me down in concentration.
I quickly grab a book from the old and most likely un sturdy book shelf.
"Wow. I haven't seen this in a while." I comment.
By the silence, I can tell that Harry doesn't really want to let my outburst from a few seconds ago go, but I feel truly grateful when he stands closer to me, turning his attention to the book.
"Peter Pan?" He asks.
I nod.
"Actually it was originally titled Peter Pan and Wendy." I comment as I trace over the gold colored writing.
It looks like one of the first copies ever published, and it's insane that I'm even holding it in my hands.
"Wow. I didn't know that."
"Yeah. This was one of my favorite books actually." I continue as I open it, skimming through the pages.
Memories of my father reading about Peter and the indians out loud while I listen to him, my head resting on his arm, begins to pollute my thoughts.
"I've never actually read the book." He admits.
I close it and I look up at him.
"Do you want to?" I ask.
His eyes roam up and down my face and he just nods, a soft grin spreading on his lips.
"Sure."
I smile back and we both sit down on the floor, leaning our backs on the shelf.
I place the book in the in between and I begin to read.
"Chapter one." I begin.
"All children, except one, grow up. They soon know that they will grow up, and the way Wendy knew was this..."
Even though my focus was on the story, I could feel his eyes on me the whole time. I would sometimes stop and chuckle at my favorite parts, explaining why I adore it so much, and Harry would just laugh along with me.
After a few chapters, I began to grow a little tired so Harry grabbed the book and continued to read it aloud, my legs on top of his and my head resting on his shoulder.
I think the clerk actually was listening to the story as well, since at some parts he would laugh along with us.
Right now Harry is reading the part when Wendy and her brothers are aboard Captain Hook's ship.
"Feared him! Feared Smee! There was not a child on board the brig that night who did not already love him. He had said horrid things to them and hit them with the palm of his hand, because he could not hit with his fist, but they had only clung to him the more. Michael had tried on his spectacles." He reads.
My eyes are shut closed as I await for him to continue. I love hearing the sound of Harry's voice, and when he reads the fighting parts with such enthusiasm, I can't help the smile on my face.
"Smee is nice. I like Smee even though he is a little bit of a bugger." Harry comments.
I chuckle and I bury my head more into his shoulder, feeling his arm wrap around my own, bringing me closer.
"I like this story Jane." He whispers.
I smile.
"And Jane?"
"Hmm?" I mumble.
"I will never leave you."

Notes