Love Me Harder

Chapter Song : One Last Time - Vaults (Fifty Shades of Grey Soundtrack!)

His eyes were so deep, I could get lost in them forever. His smile was like no other, so gentle and bright, it was so unfair how attractive he was.

Yet he wasn’t what I wanted.

I sat there in a pink dress, one my manager had picked out two months before when we were discussing the date, I’d been excited back then, going out to dinner with one of the highest paid young adult actors seemed riveting, now all I wanted to do was go home.

“So I was sitting in my trailer at the set, and my assistant had bought me the wrong type of apple juice. Like does the woman not know that each apple juice has a different taste? God, I was so angry I had to fire her…” I swirled my straw around in my cup and leant my chin against the palm of my hand. Twenty minutes, Libby. Only twenty minutes left until you can leave this jackass.

“It sounds like you have such a hard life.” I replied after Blake had finished. He huffed and ran a hand through his hair.

“I know,” He said. “It’s like no one in this world gets me, you know?” I guess he hadn’t found the tone in my voice that meant I was using sarcasm.

“So enough about me,” I internally rolled my eyes. “What about you? Aren’t you from England?”

I sighed and crossed one leg over the other. “Yes, I was born in England and moved to New York when I was sixteen, I’ve been here for about a year, I turn eighteen at the end of the year.”

Blake took a large sip out of his wine glass and nodded, he tapped effortlessly onto the screen of his phone and didn’t acknowledge my presence. I leaned my head to the side to look out of the window, it was snowing lightly outside, yet I could hardly see from the amount of men with cameras behind the window.

It was only ten minutes until Blake and I were supposed to exit the restaurant and begin the journey back to my home. He was to simply drive me home, give me a kiss and leave. This plan had been thought out carefully by both our managers to fool the world that Blake Alderly and Libby Williamson were in some ‘romance scandal’. We were both the hottest young adult actors on the screen right now, so there just had to be something between us. Yet Blake was the most egotistical jackass I had ever met, his whole aurora made me cringe, all the way down to the cologne he wore.

“Would you ever consider taking the movie role in England? Y’know, the one about the Princess?” He murmured and I felt as if he’d rehearsed these questions, no one knew why I had left England, and frankly I wanted to keep it that way.

Instead I shrugged. “I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately, and I might. I depends on where it’s set and who I’m working with.” He nodded in agreement and then clapped his hands together. “Shall we ditch this place? I’ve got a meeting with my girlfriend in a few minutes.” Yet again for the umpteenth time that night I rolled my eyes, he was so delusional and up himself it hurt to think about it.

I nodded once more and began to stand up, only to be stopped as Blake quickly ran around the table to pull my chair out and help me with my coat. I knew he was only doing it to please the cameras, but it felt nice and unplanned, like he actually wanted to help me.

We began to brace the cold weather and screaming cameramen, each one yelling out a different question like; “Libby! Have you kissed him yet?” or “Blake, does this mean a new relationship and possibly marriage?” Marriage? I wasn’t even legal to have sex yet, let alone old enough to get married.

We had finally made our way safely to the car and quickly hopped in, breathing a sigh of relief at the quietness of his Range Rover, this car gave me too many memories. He started the engine quickly and reversed out of the parking space, heading towards the center of the city where my apartment building was.

After a few minutes of silence, he spoke, “What does L + H stand for?” He questioned and my breathing stopped.

“Huh?” I replied and he shifted in his seat.

“Your necklace, it has L + H on it, does it mean anything in particular?”

I sighed quietly and leaned my head against the cool glass, my breath beginning to fog it up. “It’s too complicated to tell you, but long story short, I’ll never take it off.”

He nodded in understanding then left me to dwell in my thoughts. After I had left Harry at the airport, I’d never taken the necklace off. It was some sort of reminder of the good in my past, the ugly soft white lines that cut into my thighs were a harsh reminder of what I’d overcome, but I was over it. I had a job as one of the highest paid young female actresses and nothing could be better.

Well, except one thing.

After our last few moments together at the airport, Harry had not once contacted me. I usually shrugged it off and and made myself believe that it was due to a busy schedule and no time for a personal life, but as I began to see more stories about him and other girls over the internet, I grew a small grudge against him. He’d moved on when he said he wouldn’t.

I’d spent so many nights laying in bed thinking of him and wondering if he thought of me, too. The boys had recently played a few shows in New York and I made sure to completely avoid them at all costs, even deciding to take a few weeks off of work. I also began to have my own relationships as well, none that ever lasted more than a few months, but I knew Harry had seen the posts and updates on the internet.
I must admit that I did try to block them entirely out of my life, but how could I? Everywhere I went there was at least something about them, and most people knew of my antics with him from last time but it had slowly faded out. Harry had supposedly moved on from me and was happily with another girl. But I knew it was all a fake, it was exactly what was happening between Blake and I, Harry and another girl had been set up to keep people following.

“We’re here,” Blake muttered and I cheered with joy. “I hope you had fun tonight, but I’ll get my assistant to message you when our next date is.” I hummed in acknowledgement and closed the door quickly to his car, running quickly up the steps of the apartment block to shield myself from the cold.

I was back to being alone.

Once I had gotten into my home I shed my dress and shoes, letting my hair flow out of it’s bobby pins and hairspray. I got into my pajamas and set my phone on charge, quickly brushing my teeth and rolling into bed.

I hope he thinks about me, I truly do.

I fall asleep to the soft lull of the bustling New York streets below me, thinking sweet dreams of when Harry and I were together, wanting it more than anything else in the world.

Notes