Snake Eyes (Louis Tomlinson Fan Fic)
I awoke from my nap refreshed and saw that, judging from the time on the clock, I slept almost two hours. Ambling over to the bathroom, I look into the mirror and see there still is a red mark on my face. I sigh and shake my head. What a fine mess I've made of my life and I have no idea how I am going to explain this to my mum. Trying to come up with ways to get out of this marriage has yielded me no results. It's probably time to resign myself to my fate and talk to Alfonso about how the evening is going to go down. Please merciful God don’t make me have to pretend to gush over that she-devil.
Things could be worse, I suppose. I could be back in the states in that god forsaken West Virginia. Imagine being locked up in a cabin in the woods with some moonshine drinking, rifle toting, toothless father holding me hostage? At least I'm holed up in the lap of luxury. I swear everything in my suite appears to be gilded in 14K gold. If I didn’t have to deal with the she-devil, I’d be quite comfortable here.
I realize I should get a move on getting ready for this evening. I walk into my private bath and admire the room. It’s like no other I’ve ever seen. In the middle of the room, there is a step-down tub. Scratch that, this is no ordinary tub. It’s a Jacuzzi tub that could easily seat six people. What kind of wild parties go on in this house that one needs a tub for six people in a guest bath? The vanity is spectacular. The mirror covers the entire length of the double sink counter and is framed in a mosaic pattern of emerald and an azure blue, which contrasts perfectly against the glimmering gold walls. In the mirror’s reflection, I notice two doors. I turn and walk over to investigate what’s behind the doors. One is a linen closet and the other is the actual loo. I walk back into the middle of the room, look around, and finally find what I am looking for – the shower.
Like the rest of this room, this is no ordinary shower. It’s a rounded wall with a door-less, walk-in entrance. I peak my head in and I’m amazed because I’ve never seen anything like it. It’s the size of a small shower room for a football team, but clearly intended for only one or two people. Inside, two benches line the walls and there is a shower head on three of the walls. I step outside to where I noticed the shower controls and turned on all the knobs. Peaking back in, it was just as I thought – three way shower heads designed to hit a single person and now I’ve never been so excited to strip and hop in the shower.
I let the soothing hot water and steam caress my body from every angle and feel the tension release. For the first time in almost two days I begin to relax a little. Maybe I should continue to count my blessings. Fonzi, despite this marriage debt, is pretty cool and I have to admit I like him. If it weren't for her, Fonzi and I could be friends. I don't know how we can be though with her around being uncivil and ruining my life. So many questions remain unanswered about this engagement and marriage. I mean I certainly don’t have and don’t plan on buying her an engagement ring, but how am I going to explain being engaged tonight without one? I’ll probably have to make up some lie about that too; I’ll just add it to the mounting list of lies that will surround this ‘marriage’.
My one saving grace throughout this is that Harry is with me. He really is my best mate and I'd probably be dead if he weren't here to keep me somewhat in check. I would have crossed a line and Fonzi's goons would have killed me or my family. Through the crazy press and the ups and downs, Harry is usually my salvation. I'm so fortunate to have him as a friend for life. If we made it through the Larry bullshit still best mates, nothing could separate us.
After my shower, I go into my dressing room where I find all my clothes hung. It’s a little foreign to me that my belongings are so well organized. I am notorious for being a slob. As I dress, I wonder what the she-devil’s room is like. She probably has everything in its proper place, pristine and untouched because no one dare cross into her sanctuary. Maybe I’ll be able to drive her into insanity with my slob ways. The thought makes me smile.
I walk out into the suite’s lounge to find Harry watching television. As I round the couch, I note he has a confused look on his face while staring at the television. Turning to see what has him so captivated, it appears he is watching some sort of soap opera.
“What’s with the confusion Hazza?”
“I can’t understand what’s happening on this show and it looks really good.”
“Mate, that’s because you don’t speak French,” I chuckle.
“Whatever Lou. This is supposed to be the ‘universal language of love’.” He makes air quotes and I just look at him with raised eyebrows and a scrunched mouth with a ‘what the hell are you talking about look’.
“Well, I figured I could figure out what they are saying by watching what they do, but the acting is so bad I can’t figure anything out.” I can’t help but erupt into laughter.
“Oh I do love you Harry!” Still laughing, I plop down next to him and throw my head on his shoulder. “Why can’t I marry you instead of the she-devil? We’d be much more compatible.”
“Because you’re not my type Lou.” Harry pats my knee and we both laugh. Suddenly, a brilliant idea crosses my mind.
“Harry! That’s it!”
“That is how I am going to get out of this marriage!”
“I believe I missed a step Lou,” Harry says with a bewildered look.
“Oh my God! You’re going to tell Alfonso and Loren you’re gay? Brilliant!”
“One step better Harry. Larry is real! We’re getting married!” I motion my finger to point between the two of us and Harry shoots off couch and turns white.
“Uh Lou, I love you man, but you know that I don’t swing that way. Right?” He looks terrified but I can’t stop smiling because I figured a way out of this mess.
“Harry, I’m not talking about us actually getting married. Just play along with me to convince him we are a couple. There is no way he’s going to let her marry a gay man. We can tell him we went away on this trip to plan our coming out and marriage.”
“Oh my God Lou you have lost your damn mind! I am NOT going to pretend to be your boyfriend to save your arse! The Larry shippers would take to the streets in celebration, my family would freak, we could never recover from it in the press, and neither one of us would ever get another girl! I love you mate, but I cannot do this for you.”
“Relax Harold. The news will never go past these walls. I just need to buy time to get back home, square the debt with Alfonso, and then I’m home free. He’ll never publicize our ‘relationship’ because it doesn’t benefit him and would humiliate him because he had to have told one of his goons about this sham marriage.”
“Absolutely not Louis. I will not do it.”
“You’d rather see me married to the she-devil and procreate the sons and daughters of Satan than endure a few minutes of embarrassment to save me?”
“She’s not that bad Louis if you’d give her a chance.”
“Not bad for a man-eating piranha maybe. Please Hazza! I promise you won’t get hurt. Just hold my hand, look lovingly at me, and go along with the story until we get back to England.”
“This is madness! How are we going to explain it to the lads and your family? I already told them you are marring a girl.”
“Let me worry about that. I think quick on my feet. Wait? So, does this mean you’re in?” I am hopeful and await his answer.
“Ughhh. Yes, but the minute things get ugly, I am pulling the plug on your hair brained scheme. How are we going to pull this off?”
“Okay, let’s go search out Fonzi and leave the rest to me.” I take off practically skipping in search of Alfonso and stop when I realize Harry hasn’t budged from his spot. “What’s wrong Harry?”
“Well, if we’re supposed to be in love shouldn’t we hold hands or something?” He looks uncomfortable and the realization of the act we must pull off hits me.
“Good thought mate. Okay.” I walk over to Harry and we awkwardly attempt to hold hands fumbling them back and forth until we get in the least awkward grip.
“It’s funny. With all the affection we’ve shown each other the past few years, holding hands right now feels all wrong.” We both laugh at my statement.
“Let’s get this over with. I’m actually starting to feel scared he’ll realize we’re scamming him,” Harry says.
“Let’s do this thing!” I am excited because I know the nightmare is almost over.
Harry and I walk hand-in-hand and our postures are anything but relaxed.
“Harry, we have to try to look relaxed and in love or this isn’t going to work,” I whisper to him as we walk down the long hallway back towards the main staircase.
Eventually, we run into a member of the house staff who gave the appearance of someone responsible for running this palace. She was an older woman, petite in height and stature with her gray hair pulled back tightly in a bun, and bright brown eyes. Her demeanor appeared to be kind and approachable so I had no fear in asking her for help.
“Excuse me ma’am, we’re looking for Fonzi. I mean, Alfonso. Mr. Franchescho.” Okay, scratch that. I’m blabbering like an idiot. She smiles, looks down and sees Harry’s and mine enjoined hands, and her face brightens more with a big smile before she speaks.
“You must be Mr. Tomlinson and Mr. Styles?” She looks to us as if trying to figure which one is which.
“Yes, I am Mr. Tomlinson, but please call me Louis. This is Harry.”
“Hello Louis. It’s nice to meet you. I am Mrs. White, the head housekeeper.”
“Oh, so formal love?” I give her a cheeky smile and she rewards me with a laugh.
“I guess it would not hurt if you call me Sonja. No one but Miss Loren calls me by my first name.” Crap. The first nice person I meet in this house and the she-devil is on her good side.
“Thank you Sonja.”
“Nice to meet you,” Harry pipes up and she nods.
“Sonja, could you help us? We’d like to speak to Alfonso if he’s available.” I ask.
“Yes, he is in his study. Let me escort you.”
“If it’s not too much trouble, we’d appreciate it.” She turns and begins to lead us down a couple of hallways until we reach a set of dark mahogany French doors.
“Right this way gentlemen.” Sonja says and opens the doors to announce us. Harry’s hand is sweating profusely and I squeeze it to calm him down.
“Harry, relax. Here goes nothing.” I whisper and we walk through the door together.
“Ah boys, so glad you came down.” Alfonso does not appear to notice we are holding hands.
“Um, we had something we need to talk with you about Fonzi.” I manage to get out without stuttering.
“Well come in and have a seat and let’s talk.” Alfonso motions for us to sit across from his desk, but I think I am too nervous to sit.
“What did you want to talk about Louis?”
“Well…” Okay time to get this show on the road.
“Oh dear girl! You’ve only been home a few days and you’ve managed to destroy this suite already!” Oh no, here comes the scolding. I put on an innocent face.
“Sonja, I can’t find anything in here.”
“Of course you can’t, you’ve scattered things everywhere. This isn’t even organized chaos love. What is your fiancé going to say about your slovenly ways?” She tsks me shaking her head left and right.
“Please do not remind me that he is under the same roof as me.”
“Well, I just met him and he seems like a lovely boy.”
“Boy is the operative word. While his face is lovely, he is the rudest, meanest individual I ever met.”
“Oh he can’t be that bad. If he was a horrible person, he’d go ahead with this marriage just for the inheritance.”
“He’d never lay a finger on the Franchescho money because I would kill him first. Besides, he has his own money. If he didn’t bother to mention, he’s ‘Louis Tomlinson, worldwide pop sensation’,” I says using air quotes and suddenly the idea of inflicting bodily harm on Louis sounds appealing.
“Yes dear. I know all about him. My granddaughter is a fan of his band.”
“Oh maybe she can marry him instead.” I sass and Sonja narrows her eyes at me.
“Loren, I don’t understand why your father is doing this, but you know there has to be a good
“He’s yet failed to give me a compelling one to chain myself to that wanker for life.”
“Really, I’m a college graduate. I can say wanker.”
“You are not old enough for me to wash your mouth out with soap.” I sigh. “Well dear, I actually came up here to tell you that your young man appears to have hatched a plan to break the engagement.” I’m all ears.
“How do you know that?”
“Well, he and his friend asked to speak to your father.”
“Why would that be out of the ordinary?”
“Because they were holding hands and doing their best to attempt to look like a couple.” Okay, I can’t help it. I double over in laughter and feel tears forming in my eyes.
“I have to hand it to him. That is brilliant! Oh and if it works, we’ll be free of each other! I need to go listen in!” I start to rush out of the room only to be stopped by Sonja.
“Before you celebrate too soon, you know your father is a very thorough man. Don’t you think he knows that Louis is straight?”
“Even if he does, this is a show I don’t want to miss!”
“They’re in your father’s study!” Sonja calls out as I run out of the room and down the stairs towards the targeted room. As I approach the double doors of the study, I tip toe so as not to be heard outside.
“Can you please say that again Louis? I don’t think I heard you correctly.” I hear my father speak. It sounds like I didn’t miss this performance.
“Yes sir. I am sorry I cannot marry your daughter because I am in love with Harry and we want to get married.” I cannot contain myself and I snort and start laughing. I try to quiet myself, but it’s impossible. This is the funniest thing I have ever heard; I think I actually admire Louis for coming up with this plan. The room is silent and I wish I could see my father’s face. The door opens and I am caught eaves dropping.
“Oh, um. Hi Dad. I just came to see what you were up to before dinner.” I attempt to cover up.
“Loren, what have I told you about eaves dropping?”
“I don’t know what you are talking about. We need to talk before the company arrives.” I say as he grabs my arm, gently, and escorts me into the room where Louis and Harry look at me with eyes wide.
“Apparently, you’ve all decided to put on a floorshow before dinner, but this is the worst acting I’ve ever seen,” he chuckles and I huff.
“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean,” I say as I take a seat in a leather club chair near the desk. “What are you two idiots about?” I pretend to know nothing of what they are up to and purposely raise my eyebrows as I look at them holding hands. Right now, the site of them holding hands and trying to look like a couple is making it almost impossible not to laugh, but I force a straight face.
“Um, Loren I am sorry to inform you I cannot marry you. I was just telling your father that I am in love with Harry and plan to marry him. Uh, that’s why we came to Monaco. We wanted to be alone and plan for our future. I, uh, even bought Harry and I matching Ferraris as an engagement gift.” Wow. If this signing thing doesn’t work out for him, he should consider a career in acting. That wasn’t half bad.
“Oh I am heartbroken. I am really happy for you two and hope you have a long and happy life together. I’ll tell Sonja to have the staff start packing your rooms.” I rise to leave the room. If I assist them, this might be our one chance at freedom.
“Not so fast Loren,” my father stops me. “Louis, I’d like to hear what Harry has to say about your love.” Oh shit. I hope Harry is as good as Louis at acting.
“Oh. Well. Um.” Seriously Harry! Pull it together man! Mine and Louis’ freedom depends upon him and all he can do is stutter. I need to help him out. I walk over and take Harry’s other hand in mine. Man is he clammy.
“Harry, it’s okay. We’re not going to judge you and Louis for being gay. You can be honest with us. I promise you we won’t tell your secret to anyone. It’s not our business to tell.” I look at my father and then back to Harry and I notice Louis looking at me with a surprised face.
‘Yes nimrod, I am helping your pathetic butt because I want out too’ is the look I shoot him. Scary that I think he read my mind because he smiled at me, which doesn’t help because he really is beautiful to look at and that smile is something else.
“Oh um thanks,” Harry clears his throat and tries to continue on, “Yes. I love Lou and want to be with him forever.” He could not have tried to sound more like a robot if he tried. I glance at Louis and he knows Harry isn’t helping our cause. My father starts laughing loudly.
“Oh you boys are too much! You don’t think I checked out your sexual history and your ‘Larry’ rumors?” Shit. He would have to be that thorough.
“Oh well, Harry and I have paid good money to hide our relationship,” Louis speaks up and wraps his arm around Harry’s waist. Harry visibly tenses and I try to stifle a giggle.
“Understandable,” I pipe in, “I’m sure you have to protect yourselves from the press.” Louis glances at me at mouths ‘thank you’ and I lift one side of my mouth to give him a covert acknowledgement.
“This really is quite a production and to think you got my daughter to help you out with this story,” my father shakes his head still laughing.
“I don’t have anything to do with this father. You can’t stand in the way of true love. Are you accusing the boys of lying?”
“Not lying, but of very bad acting – yes.” I sigh. Harry is actually shaking now and Louis is trying to calm him down by patting his waist, but I think it’s making it worse. Then, an idea strikes me.
“Surely, if you could witness their love first hand, you would believe them and set Louis free from this engagement?”
“Oh if I could possibly believe this charade, I would definitely call off the wedding.” Father says amused and I feel victory in my grasp.
“Perfect. Louis, Harry please share an intimate kiss in front of us so we can put this issue to rest and you two can go home.” I am so proud of myself.
“What?” Louis and Harry say in unison, their eyes doubling in size. Seriously, one kiss stands between us and freedom and they are going to go all sissy on me?
“Share. A. Kiss.” Jesus, do they need me to spell it out?
“Now?” Harry yelps and his voice cracks. Louis looks like he’s going to be sick. Well, at least I can enjoy watching him squirm before he leaves me forever.
“Yes. Now please.”
I don’t know if time is actually moving slowly, but it seems like minutes go by. These two idiots keep trying to position themselves and look so ridiculous, it’s obvious they aren’t a couple. At this point, I know the jig is up, but I am going to see how far they are willing to take it.
Finally, Louis wraps his arms around Harry’s waist and Harry looks like he wants to bolt out the door. They both suck in their lips and start inching towards each other’s faces. It is almost impossible to contain the laughter that threatens to escape me. Slowly, slowly. Their mouths are only about two inches away from each other and then it happens.
“No!!!!!! I can’t do this!” Harry yells like a little girl and runs out of the room. I throw myself into the chair and Louis imitates my actions into the chair next to mine.
“I can assume this is the end of the performances?” My father raises his eyebrow and looks at me and Louis. We both nod.
“Good then,” he rises. “Let’s go to the dining room. We have a lot of plans to discuss before the guests arrive.”
Louis and I rise and follow my father out of the study. We walk next to each other in the hallway and Louis surprises me turning to me and whispering.
“Thanks for trying to help.”
Those were the first civil words we spoke since meeting each other.
This chapter is dedicated to @Thatcutieniall for giving me the idea. Thanks for your comment love!
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When you comment and I see votes and subscribers increase, it motivates me to update faster!
This was just a funny filler chapter. Back to the drama next chapter. ;)
In case you missed it in the summary, I updated it. I decided I love Harry so much in this story that at the end of the sequel, he will get his own spinoff story.