Harry's POV

"We'll get through this together," I tell Chloe over and over again. It's killing me that I can't tell what she's thinking or feeling right now, but I need her to know that I'm with her, by her side, until the end. And that end will be a very long time from now.

Her face is sad when the doctor finally enters the room. "It's good seeing you awake, Chloe. I'm Doctor Raymond. How are you feeling?"

"I don't know," her voice is raspy as she shrugs. "I feel uncomfortable, I guess. And tired. A little sore."

"That's normal," the doctor assures her. I sit back in my chair but don't let go of her hand as the doctor asks her countless questions about how she feels. I can't take my eyes off of her, but when doctor Raymond says, "Well at least we have some good news, the one round of chemo you did earlier this week seemed to do the trick. The osteosarcoma is in remission," my eyes go straight to his.

"Are you sure?" I ask.

"100 percent," he smiles. "It's a miracle really, but catching it so early saved your life."

I peel my eyes away from the doctor and look at my girl; she looks so weak, yet beautiful as ever. "Did you hear that, baby?" I whisper and kiss her cheek. "You're going to be okay. Everything's going to be okay." I don't know whether I'm trying to convince her or myself.

"Then why... Why am I here?" She asks, her voice small. "What happened?"

I frown thinking of her passing out in her closet, alone. I glance at the doctor, and wait for him to tell her, because I don't want to. I can't be the one to break her the news. To possibly break her heart more than I already have.

I'm supposed to be mending it, but she just keeps getting hurt.

Doctor Raymond sighs. "You suffered a miscarriage, Chloe. The episode had nothing to do with the cancer. You had lost so much blood that you passed out. You must have hit your head and that really knocked you out... I'm sorry, Chloe."

"What?" She gasps, her face pale with horror. "A miscarriage? No, I wasn't... I wasn't even pregnant." Chloe's voice is shaky, confused and scared, and it's then when I realize she didn't know either. I was upset that she didn't tell me she was pregnant, but now I know why-because she didn't know either.

"Maybe it was for the better you didn't know... You didn't have time to get attached," the doctor offers.

I ignore his presence and turn to Chloe. A lone tear has escaped her eye, and she looks so broken. "I didn't know, Harry."

"I know," I know that now. "It's okay, Chloe, you didn't do anything wrong."

All she does is shake her head. And cries. She doesn't look at me, just stares straight ahead and cries quietly, as if she's trying not to let it show.

"I'll give you two some privacy," Doctor Raymond announces. Just before he leaves the room he turns to us. "We'll do a more thorough check up tomorrow. The best thing for you right now is rest, Chloe. If you need anything, press that call button."

I nod for her and he finally leaves. "Chloe... Talk to me."

She shakes her head again, and I can see her pushing me away, distancing herself from me. That's exactly what I don't want.

So I take my chances and sit next to Chloe on the hospital bed, slowly easing myself closer to her and laying on my side to look at her. I haven't seen or touched her in two weeks, and I'm about to lose it. Now this is happening on top of everything and I don't know if I continue being strong for the both of us.

"Chloe, please,"

"I didn't know," she whispers. Her hands move to her stomach and she caresses it like she's looking for something. "How couldn't I know?"

"The doctor said you were only a few weeks." I grab her hands from her stomach and pull them away. She's torturing herself. "With the chemo and all of the meds you were taking... It was likely. All that matters is that you're okay. We're going to get through this."

Fuck, I'm feeling so many things right now I can hardly keep my head on straight. I want to scream and break things, but I need to keep calm. Of course I'm heartbroken myself about losing this baby, but I keep telling myself that Chloe is okay, or will be at least, so I need to focus on that. We'll have our time in the future for kids, and this is God's way of telling us we weren't ready.

"No we're not! I killed out baby, Harry! How can that be okay? Why don't you hate me?" She cries, ripping her hands from my grip and clutching into her stomach.

"Stop it. You did not kill that baby. It was not your fault, and there was nothing you could do. You didn't know you were pregnant, and you were sick."

"I want to be alone," she whispers.

"Chloe,"

"Can you just let me be alone for a little bit?" She sniffles. "Please."

I take a deep breath and get out of the bed. "Stop blaming yourself," I tell her. "This is not your fault, and everything will be just fine."

"Okay," she says unconvincingly.

"I'll be just outside your door if you need me. I'm not going anywhere until we can get you out of here."

---

Two weeks later.

Chloe's POV

"Can we talk?" I don't have to turn around to know that Harry is standing in my doorway.

"Sure," I say, although I really don't want to.

"Chloe," he warns, his voice in that tone that warns me not to fuck with him. So I quit folding my clothes and turn to look at him. His hair is pushed out of his face with a rolled up bandana, and his black shirt hugs his muscular torso.

"What is it?" I try to keep my voice even.

"You tell me," he counters. I shrug.

"Quit with the bullshit, Chloe! You've hardly said a word to me since we got home, and I feel like I'm walking on eggshells around you. Are you angry with me about something?"

"No," I tell him truthfully.

"Then what the hell is going on with you? I get that you're upset about everything that happened, but so am I! You don't think I'm not fucking hurting, too?"

"I didn't say that," I whisper.

"Then what is it? Tell me Chloe, because I counted each minute I was in that fucking nut house, counting down until the moment I'd get to come home to you. Now you hardly even look at me, and I'm miserable here!"

I can't stop the tears from escaping my burning eyes. I've cried too much in the past weeks, I just feel empty. "I don't know,"

"Quit fucking lying!" He yells.

"I'm not!" I counter, trying to stop crying at the same time. "That's the problem, Harry. I don't fucking know! I don't know how I should feel or what I should do about any of this! I'm so conflicted in my head, and I just can't feel anymore! I'm so confused and hurt and scared... I just. don't. know."

Harry sighs and rakes his long fingers through his hair. "We can talk about it. I'm here if you need me to listen. You know that."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"I'm going through the same thing, Chloe! That was my son or daughter too. It's not just you," he snaps.

"I know that!"

"Then help me, and let me help you."

"I can't Harry. I can't talk about it without crying. I can't talk to you without worrying things will go back to how they were, and you'll try something stupid again, I can't live like this anymore! Shit keeps hitting the fan and I'm so tired of having to deal with it all. I'm exhausted, Harry. I can't take it."

"Then let me be there for you! I can help you, Chloe, if you just fucking let me! I love you so much that it hurts me, and it kills me seeing you so distant from me and everyone else. You know I've changed. I'm better now, and I'm ready to be the man you need. You need to give me a chance, and I promise we can get through this. Together."

I sigh thinking everything he's suggesting sounds too easy. We both know things can't just go back to how they were without something going wrong. And like I told him, I'm exhausted. I'm tired of always having to fight for everything. I don't know what has happened to my life, but ever since moving here, I can hardly keep up with it all.

"I can't."

"Yes. You can."

I shake my head. "I need time, Harry."

"I can't live across the hall from you and give you time, Chloe. I can't see you everyday and give you space. I need you. I need you to need me."

Here come the tears again. "I need you too!" I yell. "That's the fucking problem! I've become just as dependent on you as you have me. I need to figure all of this out with no interruptions. I'm still dealing with everything my dad through at me because the second it happened, you got into an accident and I had to deal with that. One thing after another keeps happening, and I'm getting tired of wondering when it's all gonna end, when I'm going to catch a break. Something needs to change, Harry, because I can't keep living like this."

"What needs to change, Chlo?"

"Me," I whisper.

"What does that mean?"

"It means that I'm moving to Los Angeles, and I'm going to take classes at UCLA, starting next month."

Harry pauses a minute and thinks over what I just said. "You don't want me anymore?"

"Of course I want you," I tell him without hesitating. I know it seems like I'm trying to run from him, but I'm running from this destructive path I'm on. I love Harry more than anything, and I love him enough to know we need space. It'll hurt, and it'll be difficult, but I need to do this.

"Then stop running! We can go back to how things were. Don't you remember how good it was?"

"I'm leaving Harry. That's just what needs to happen."

"No, Chloe. You're not going anywhere."

"Yes I am. I'm sorry, I really am. I just can't be what you need right now, and this is what's best. Maybe next summer-"

"No!" He yells, startling me. "We finally have the opportunity to be together, without hiding it, without any problems, and you're running. I feel like I was just being played! You never even wanted anything more, did you?"

"How could you say that? You know that's not true!"

"Doesn't seem like it." He's angry now; frustrated that whatever's happening isn't what he wants.

"Well then I don't know what to tell you. I'm moving to LA, and maybe when I come back we can see where we're at. I just can't give you my heart right now."

He sighs and runs his hands through his hair. I can see him fighting to say the right thing, and to get me to realize nothing will do good out of me moving. But there's nothing he can say. I've made my decision, and he knows that.

"Just don't go," he grits out. "We don't have to jump back into anything right now, you don't even have to talk to me, just don't fucking leave me, Chloe."

I start to feel guilty for my decision, but that's the problem. For once in my life I need to think of me. Before, it was me taking care of my mom, then it was trying to make amends with my dad, then it was Harry. Now it's time for Chloe to figure out who she is, and what she really wants to do in this world.
"I need to. I know you don't understand, but it's what best."

"No. It's not what's best."

I don't answer him. I can't keep fighting about this, because I'm going and no one can stop me. I know it'll be hard, and I'll probably regret it by the time I'm in LA, but it's necessary. My life is not healthy right now, and I need to save myself.

"Whatever. We'll talk about this later," he huffs and leaves my room.

I don't respond again, because I've said my peace. I've said everything that I've needed to say, and he can't convince me otherwise. I love him, but we need to take a break. An actual break.

Notes

So here it is! Sorry it took so long!

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