I made it back to San Diego just before one in the afternoon. I left early with the intention to catch my last two classes of the day, but now that I’m home, I just want to go home and take a nap before I have to face Harry. I know he’s hurt or mad at me, and I anticipate at least a long discussion with him… Hopefully it won’t turn into a fight.

I find myself pulling into the garage so I decide I really am in desperate need of a nap, and that school can wait. After getting Harry’s text last night, I couldn’t fall asleep, so a little extra sleep will be necessary before I see Harry, and before Anne’s birthday dinner tonight. Ugh, I almost forgot about that.

Once I get inside, I head straight to my room. If there’s one thing I love about my dad and Anne working so much, is that they’re hardly home, so I won’t get caught being here while I’m supposed to be at school.

I drop my bag on the floor and fall right on the bed. I hadn’t realized how exhausted I really was until I almost immediately began to drift off. God, this bed is comfy.

Just as I’m floating on the edge of consciousness, I hear a door slam, and something hit the hardwood floors downstairs. I sit straight up as the noise startles me, and begin to panic at the thought that my dad or Anne is home. I begin to come up with excuses for why I’m not at school when I hear the familiar voice curse loudly in the foyer.

Harry.

I jump out of bed and go follow his voice to see Harry sitting on the bottom step grasping his foot and cursing to himself. I look over to the table next to the front door and see the table shifted and the vase that sat atop it on the floor in pieces.

“Harry?” I whisper when he doesn’t hear me come down. “Are you hurt?”

He doesn’t look at me when he responds, “Not physically.” His voice is cold. Cold enough to send a shiver through my body.

I deserved that one.

“What happened?”

“I ran into that stupid fucking table and stubbed my fucking toe. But it’s about time that fucking vase went. It’s hideous.” Harry slurs.

“Have you been drinking?”

“You’re a smart girl, baby.”

Why is he drinking on a Monday afternoon?!

I don’t know what to do or say to him. He’s obviously mad at me, but I don’t understand why he feels the need to get drunk? I have no clue what to tell him in order to apologize, and I know that now I’ll have to wait until he sobers up before we have an honest conversation.

“I missed you.” I whisper and sit next to him on the bottom step. “Is your foot okay?”

“It’s fine.” Harry scoffs, still refusing to look at me.

“Why aren’t you at school? And who were you drinking with?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know? I should probably just lie to you about where I was because that’s what you did to me.”

Okay, I really need to wait until he’s sober to start asking questions.

I sigh. “Will you come take a nap with me? I just got home from Cassidy’s and I’m exhausted.”

“Where does your dad keep his liquor?”

I move to kneel in front of Harry. I can’t stand that he won’t even look at me. “Harry, you don’t need any more alcohol. Come to bed with me,” I plead. “Please, baby?” I lean up on my heels and press my lips to the skin of his neck.

I know using sex to persuade him is a bad idea, especially when he’s drunk and angry, but I’m thinking that’s the only way I’m going to get him upstairs.

“Fine.” He huffs and stumbles over his own feet while getting up. I grab his arm until his standing up straight and guide him back upstairs to his room.

“I’ll be right back.” I pull of his boots, jeans and shirt (which was a difficult task) and make sure he’s laying on the bed before going back downstairs to clean up the mess he's made of the vase, and get him a glass of water.

“I thought you were going to leave me again.” Harry says as soon as I get back into his room.

“Harry,” I sigh and climb into bed next to him. “I didn’t mean to upset you. I just needed to go back for a night. Please don’t be mad at me. I’m here now, and I’m sorry.”

“I know you’re sorry, but it still hurts,” he slurs and turns to face me. He nuzzles into my neck and pulls me close to him.

“I just didn’t want you to worry. I was being inconsiderate, please don’t be mad, Harry.”

“Do you even love me?”

I don’t know, but my eyes begin to well up with tears. I hate that he would even ask me that. Even though he’s drunk, I can’t convince myself that’s the only reason for why he asked.

“Of course I do, Harry. I love you so much. I know it doesn’t seem like it, but I didn’t tell you in the first place because I love you. I didn’t want you to worry or feel like you needed to come with. I know that I was being stupid now, though.”

“I just don’t understand, Chloe.” I feel his head shake against my shoulder.

“Don’t understand what?”

“I just don’t get it.” He repeats before I a few soft snores escape his mouth.

Before I’m able to succumb myself, I tell myself over and over again in my mind that he’s still here, laying with me, so we’ll be okay. He’s here, I’m here, and it will be okay.

---

My eyes shoot open when I hear my father yelling my name from downstairs. I momentarily forget where I am, but the memory of what happened a few hours ago when I got home is quick to flood my memory again.

Harry is still sleeping, but he slowly begins to wake when I get out of the bed, just in case my dad is on his way up here.

I’m about to leave Harry’s room when I hear him ask me to wait. I look back at him sitting on the edge of the bed with his hands in his hair before stepping out into the hall briefly.

“I’ll be down in a minute, Dad.” I yell down the stairs and go back into Harry’s room. “Hey.”

“Hey.”

I look at the clock to see that it’s six, so hopefully the five hours of sleep sobered him up at least a little. “Are you feeling better?”

He nods before holding his arms out to me. I slowly walk over to him and allow his arms to wrap around me. I relish in the wonderful feeling of his strong arms wrapped around me, and his lips against my ear.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “Don’t be mad at me, I can’t take it.”

“I’m not mad.” He finally tells me after what feels like hours. He kisses the skin behind my ear once. “I’m sorry too. I was an asshole, and I didn’t mean to get so angry.”

“Can we just forget about this? I don’t want you to be mad at me anymore.”

Harry’s arms tighten around me before I feel him nod against my neck. “I love you.” He whispers, his voice thick and full of sleep.

“I love you, too.” I move my head so I can look at him. “I missed you.”

I gaze into his piercing green eyes while I wait for him to respond, but I’m disappointed to see the distance still in his look. I have a feeling he’s not just going to forget what happened.

“I missed you too.”

“Can we talk after your mom’s birthday dinner?” I ask him. I’m practically shaking with nerves about the talk I need to have with him about us moving too quickly, but it’s necessary; I need to man up and do it.

“Fuck,” He groans. “I forgot about that.”

“It’ll be fine,” I tell him. I caress the soft skin of his face and kiss him briefly. “We can drive separate from them and leave early. I want to talk to you when we get back, anyways.”

“Okay,” He nods. “I should shower. I’ll meet you down there.”

I nod and reluctantly remove myself from his lap. He retreats to his bathroom without another word, so I do the same as I try to come up with exactly what i will say to him later. He’s clearly still upset with me about lying to him, and I have a feeling what I need to tell him later will upset him further.

---

An hour and a half later, Harry, my dad, Anne and myself sit around a table at Anne’s favorite Italian restaurant in downtown San Diego to celebrate her birthday.

The conversation is mainly carried on by Dad and Anne, me only adding in occasionally, and Harry remaining silent the entire time. It’s not atypical, so our parents don’t say anything, but I know that Harry’s still slightly upset and nursing a hangover.

Thankfully, the dinner is over quickly, and my dad decides to take Anne to a movie afterwards. He tells Harry and I that they will meet us at home later, so we thank them for dinner and head home.

The ride is quiet, and I can’t quit tapping my knee and knotting my fingers as I procrastinate the dreaded conversation. I try to think of Cassidy’s words of encouragement last night, but honestly, I don’t even remember what I need to say to Harry.

Once we’re back to the house, Harry goes to the living room and sits on the couch. I follow him and take a seat on the opposite side and look at him.

It’s now or never. “Harry…” My voice betrays me as I try to remain intact.

“What is it?” Harry frowns noticing my demeanor shift. “Is this what you wanted to talk to me about?”

I nod and take a deep breath. I don’t even know why I’m so nervous. I guess today just made it apparent that Harry overreacts at almost everything, and I have a feeling this will upset him.

“We need to slow down, Harry. Like way, way down.” I blurt out and force myself to look at him to see his reaction.

“Slow down?” His eyebrows bunch together in question. “What the fuck does that mean?”

“It means we’re moving too fast. I’m just overwhelmed with everything. I mean, we’ve known each other two months, and you got a tattoo of my name!” Fuck, I didn’t mean to say it like that. “It’s so thoughtful,” I recover, “but it’s just a lot. I love you Harry, you know that, but like I said, I just think we’re taking things too fast.”

I wait for Harry to respond, but he doesn’t. He looks at me clearly confused. “What are you suggesting?” He asks finally. I can’t decipher whether his tone is a result of his confusion, or he’s angry again.

“All I’m saying is that we need to slow down. I don’t think it’s healthy for couples our age to spend every single minute of the day together. We should spend more time with our other friends, and maybe we shouldn’t sleep in each other’s rooms anymore.”

I can practically feel the heat radiating off of Harry now. I know he doesn’t like what I’ve suggested, but that’s why it needs to happen. I am just as much responsible for this relationship, but it’s not hard to see that Harry can get a bit attached at times.

“I think living in the same house might actually be working against us, and it will be good for us to spend a little time apart from each other,” I continue. “Say something, Harry.”

“Okay,” He says. Huh?

“That’s all you have to say?”

“Well if that’s what you want... I can’t change what you want.”

He’s talking in that cold tone again, and I know I’m the only one in this relationship who thinks that’s a good idea.

“Harry, talk to me,” I beg. “It’s not like we’re breaking up… I just want us to take things slower. I think it will be better for us.”

“Well I disagree.” Harry interupts me. “I don’t see the point in that. I think we’re going at the right pace.”

And that’s your problem, my conscience adds.

“I’m overwhelmed, Harry.” I admit. “I love you and I’m so happy that you take care of me and make me happy, but sometimes it’s just too much! We need to balance our lives out otherwise things might turn out bad.”

I watch as he looks down at his lap and fists his hands in his hair. What I’d give to know what he’s thinking.

“You don’t want to break up with me?” He asks, still looking at the floor.

“No, Harry. Of course not.” I promise him. I move over to sit next to him on the couch and wrap my arms around his waist. “I just want to slow down.”

“Did I do something wrong?”

“No, Harry.” I sigh. This is going terribly.

“I’ll cover the tattoo with something else if you really don’t like it.”

I smile, thinking what he’s saying is a joke. “No, I like it. I love it, really, it was just overwhelming. No one’s ever done something like that for me. I never thanked you.” I kiss his cheek, and I’m rewarded with him looking up at me.

“Just slowing down, not breaking up.” He asks for clarification.

“Yes. There’s no way I’m giving you up. Not yet, at least.” I tease.

“Okay.” He sighs.

“I love you,” I remind him.

“I love you, too.” He tells me as he wraps his arms around me, so we are now embracing. “I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you completely. This blows, but I’ll take whatever I can get, Chloe.”

“Thank you.”

Notes

I didn't edit this chapter, and I don't really like it, but Dance Moms is on so... ;)

lol anyway... PLEASE COMMENT, RATE & SUBSCRIBE!