AN - Sorry it took me so long to update, but here a new chapter. Also if you didn't know that I made a Louis POV on this story called Her. I'm also planning to do the other boys as well. I put the titles of their stories at the end of this chapter. Also can you pretty please tell me what you think of this story. I will really love feedback :D

Chapter 12 – Trip

The next morning I got Louis up for geography, but he didn’t want to get up. So I told him if he didn’t get up tonight was not happening. He quickly got up and got in the shower with me. When we got out I put on my grey track pants and a black long sleeved top. I brushed my hair and put it in a side braid. As I was putting my shoes on Louis was still getting ready. He only had his black jeans on, so I grabbed a white t-shirt. I put it on him before I put a beanie on his head. He laughed as he straightened it on his head. I packed his schoolbag as he put his shoes on.

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We got to school on time for Louis to go to geography with Niall. I sat in the library doing some school work until Sophia finished her lesson. I met up with her and Liam in the carpark, “um he driving us, so we’re are back in time for lesson,” Sophia explained. I nodded as Liam got into the car, “he thinks you’re getting your legs done,” Sophia whispered before we got into the car.

We parked outside a salon and aunt Fey was at the front, “Liam,” she smiled as she hugged him. She hugged me, “Lilly,” she also smiled. She looked Sophia up and down, “now you must be Sophia Liam’s girlfriend,” aunt Fey says. Sophia nodded as aunt Fey hugged her, “call me aunt Fey,” she tells her. Sophia nodded again, “how many salons do you own?” I wondered. Aunt Fey smiled, “three,” she replied.

We went inside, “now Perrie said you want the same as last time since you and Lou are doing something tonight,” aunt Fey says. I nodded my head as I saw Liam raise an eyebrow, “your going have to wait a couple minutes until someone free,” aunt Fey tells me. She walked away from us, “so what are you and Lou doing tonight?” Liam smirked. I shake my head, “I know it not sex you waiting a couple of weeks for that. Is Lou going down on you?” Liam questioned. I looked down, “Liam shut up. She already embarrassed about it,” Sophia tells him.

“What is there to be embarrassed by? You already gone down on him. What’s the difference?” Liam asked. Sophia hit him in the arm, “it different for a girl and its Lil’s first time,” Sophia replied. Liam smiled at me, “I’m sorry, but Lou won’t do it if you’re stressing about it. He want you all relaxed,” Liam tells me. I nodded my head, “I know and I am relaxed with him. It just I don’t like talking about it,” I say. To my luck a woman came and got me.

When I came back out Sophia and Liam were talking to aunt Fey. I slowly went up to them, “Lil aunt Fey was telling me that we can come anytime to get anything done. She also said it on the house,” Sophia smiled. I smiled, “thank you,” I tell aunt Fey. She smiled at me, “now since you and Lou having sexy time tonight. Do you need any lingerie?” aunt Fey wondered. I shake my head no, “um Louis got me something in New York,” I admitted. They were surprised, “and how does Louis know your size?” Sophia questioned. I looked down, “I have clothes at his place,” I replied. Liam nodded as I remembered it was gym night for the boys, “hang on aren’t you, Lou and Ni meant to be going to the gym tonight?” I asked to change the subject. Liam shakes his head, “we’re going tomorrow night. Sophia coming around my house for dinner tonight,” Liam tells me. I gave him a small nod, “well we better get back to school,” he added.

In art I sat next to Zayn and kept working on my draft for my first major, “now Perrie tells me you and Lou doing something tonight,” he started. I nodded my head, “you alright with that?” he wondered. I nodded my head again, “yeah. I’m lot more worried about what going to happen in two weeks,” I admitted. Zayn wrapped an arm around me, “I think this Friday you should talk to the girls about it. They all had there first time, so they can tell you about,” he suggested. I nodded my head, “but what was it like for you taking Perrie’s?” I wondered. I noticed Zayn face turned more serious, “I was so scared. The one thing I didn’t want to do was to hurt her, but I did. I’m not saying I went full force on her. I was gentle, but it was something we couldn’t help,” Zayn confessed. I looked down, “don’t worry about it now. Just focus on tonight,” Zayn reassured me. Zayn kissed the side of my head, “I’m just happy that you and Lou are finally together properly,” he smiled.

“You knew Louis loved me?” I wondered. Zayn was shocked, “I knew he liked you more then what you guys were doing, but he loves you?” he questioned. I nodded my head, “just don’t tell anyone. I don’t know what he would say if you asked him,” I tell him. Zayn nodded, “if Lou hurts you by saying he don’t love you when someone ask him. I will hurt him. There nothing to be ashamed about loving someone,” Zayn tells me. I bit my lip, “I can’t say it,” I admitted.

“But do you feel it?” he wondered. I nodded my head, “I don’t know why I can’t say it. When Louis tells me he loves me all I say back is I fell for you. It stupid and frustrating. I know Louis will get sick of it sooner or later. He going to think that I don’t love him,” I rambled. Zayn was thinking, “I understand if you say no, but maybe you should talk with Veronica about it. She won’t tell anyone,” he suggested. I gave him a small nod before we went back to work.

We had a substitute teacher in P.E, so we just played a game of football. When Sophia, Niall and I got to creative writing we sat at the back. Niall didn’t even bother getting his book out, “what wrong Ni?” I asked. He shakes his head, “you know you can tell me?” I wondered. He nodded his head as he sighed, “I asked May out tonight, but she turned me down to hang out with Mark. I know we can’t be together properly yet, but it still hurts tho. I don’t want him anywhere near her,” Niall confessed. I rubbed his back, “I thought when she gave me a chance after I promised her that I can commit. That we be together in public none of this hiding crap. I thought about you and Lou hiding from Harry and how it turned out. I don’t want to be second best with her. I don’t want to be her source of release. I want to be her everything like she is mine,” Niall added. I hugged him, “hopefully it will work out in the end for you,” I reassured him. Niall looked at me, “what about May she your friend too?” Niall questioned.

“Yes she is my friend, but you’re more important to me than her,” I tell him. Niall smiled a little, “why did Lou get you? Why couldn’t I get you?” Niall wondered. I shrugged my shoulders, “Louis is a persistent boy,” I smiled. Niall laughed a little, “you know you can tell me if you need me to get you away from him?” he joked. I shake my head no, “do you have Stockholm syndrome?” he questioned. I shake my head no again, “me and Lou are together, because we want to be. Not because he forced me to,” I tell him. Niall nodded his head, “I can see that,” he smiled. We noticed Sophia writing in her book, “she must really like this week topic,” Niall points out.

“Maybe she knows what happiness is,” I say. Niall shrugged his shoulders, “what is happiness?” he questioned. I shrugged my shoulders this time, “does anyone know?” I wondered. Niall pointed to Sophia, “she does,” he pointed out. We laughed a little bit, “what are you two laughing at?” Sophia asked. She looked at us, “just how you know the meaning of happiness,” Niall tells her. Sophia smiled, “it only because I find happiness in the little things. If you think about it our lives might not be happy all the time, but we still smile at the little things,” she explains. I smiled as I started to think about the things that make me happy. I noticed Niall smiling too, “now you’re thinking about what makes you happy. Write it down,” Sophia tells us. I started writing, so did Niall after he got his book out.

Louis picked me up from creative writing and I started to feel nervous about tonight. Louis grabbed my hand as he was driving, “what do you want for dinner?” he asked. I shrugged my shoulders, “I’m not hungry,” I replied. Louis squeezed my hand, “really babe?” he questioned. I nodded, “but you need to eat something,” he tells me. I shake my head, “I don’t feel hungry” I tell him again. Louis sighed, “are you nervous about tonight?” he wondered. I looked at the window, “I am, but I really want to do it tho,” I say. Louis kissed the back of my hand, “how about we get it over and done with when we get to mine?” he questioned. I looked at him and I knew he wanted to see how I would reacted, “or is that too soon?” he smirked.

“When we get to yours I would like a cup of tea and to do some school work,” I tell him. I just needed some more time before we do this. Louis groaned a little, “ok. Then you can have a shower to get rid of the rest of your nerves, because I know you want one,” he tells me. I nodded my head as he pulled up the driveway.

Louis set me up on his desk before he went to make a cup of tea. I started on my SA for English since I finished the book. Louis came back in with two cups of tea, “what lesson are you working on?” he wondered. He puts the cups of tea down on the desk, “English since I finished the book,” I replied. Louis smiled at me, “wanna read mine?” he questioned. He kissed me, “you mouth open babe,” he tells me. I closed my mouth, “how? I remember our first English lesson when you said the book was fucken crap. I know you got ahead when you babysit me,” I rambled. Louis kissed me, “when I was in New York to stop Troy from talking to me. I would read, so I did school work,” he explained. I kissed him, “you know I’m meant to be the nerd not you?” I teased. He laughed a little bit, “you’re still a nerd. Just my cute little nerd,” he smiled. I shake my head, “I blame you for me being behind. You keep distracting me,” I tell him. Louis kissed my nose than my lips, “you better stop,” I say against his lips.

“Why?” he questioned as he kept kissing me. I pulled away, “because if I don’t start this SA we’re not doing anything tonight,” I tell him. Louis started kissing me again, “but I know you want tonight to happen,” he tells me. He started kissing down my neck, “I do, but I can wait,” I smirked. Louis looked at me, “you’re not kidding are you?” he wondered. I shake my head, “you know it such a turn off that you want to study,” he pouted. I kissed him, “I’m sorry that I want to do some school work instead of you all over me. What can I do to make you feel better?” I asked. Louis bit his lip, “that question is a trap, but you can study with no top on. You can leave your bra on,” he tells me. I take my top off, “better?” I wondered. Louis nodded his head as I started my school work.

When I finished my cup of tea Louis wrapped his arms around me from behind as I leant back. He started kissing my neck, “I think it shower time for you,” he whispered. He kissed along my collarbone, “just five more minutes. Please hunny,” I begged. Louis nodded his head as I leant forwards. He ran a finger down my spine before placing small kisses down it. I dropped my pen as I let Louis touch take over me, “I think you need that shower now,” he says. I took my necklace off and put it on the desk. Louis picked me up to take me into the bathroom. I noticed a red bag on the vanity, “have a shower and put that on,” he tells me as he put me down. I gave him a small nod before he left.

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I had a shower to get rid of my nerves, but when I pulled the lingerie out they all came back. It was a red and black baby doll with a black G-string. I put them on before I decided to look at them properly. The top of the baby doll was a beautiful bra with black lace over the red. A red mesh flowed from underneath the top to my mid-thigh. I wasn’t too sure about the G-string, but it went with the rest of it. I went back into the bag to find a black silk dressing gown with lace trim on the end of the sleeves. I put it on before I started my hair. I brushed it so I would leave my curls at the end. I got my make-up kit out and done my lips red. I also did my eyes with a smoky look. I took a deep breath before I walked out of the bathroom.

When I walked into Louis’s room it was lit up with candles everywhere. I noticed Louis sitting on his bed just in a pair of black boxers. He seemed in a world of his own as he looked at the floor. He noticed me and smiled as he walked over to me. He turned the bathroom light off and shut the door. I noticed that he took all his piercing out, “you did all of this while I was in the shower?” I wondered. He nodded his head, “I thought about putting effort into tonight since I never did before,” he tells me. He stood in front of me and grabbed my hands, “you sure about this?” he questioned. I nodded my head as he started walking backwards towards his bed. I followed him as I held his hands, “don’t worry we’re not going to jump straight into it. I want to take my time with you tonight,” he tells me as he tucked my hair behind my ear. He placed his hand on the side of my face as he ran his thumb over my cheek. He kissed me gently as he placed my hand on his chest. I placed my other hand on his waist and he place his other hand on my back. He pushed me into him as he deepened the kiss. He moved his hand from my back to the front of the dressing gown belt. He slowly unties it, “now let me see you,” he says. I stepped back, so he could look at me. He bit his lip as he pushed the dressing gown off of me. I let it fall to the floor, “fuck babe,” he whispered. I tried moved closer to him, but he kept me there. He ran his hands all over me before he started kissing my neck. He pulled the mesh of the baby doll at the back, “your arse looks great in this,” he says as he grabbed my bottom. I dug my fingertips into his sides as he pulled on my knickers. Louis sat down on the edge of his bed and I stood in front of him. He ran his hands down my thighs before running the back up to my waist under the mesh. He started placing kisses on my thighs to my belly button. Louis kissed down the front of my knickers as I put my hands through his hair. He pulled me down onto his lap and I felt his hard on. I started to rub him through his boxers, but he stopped me, “tonight is all about you,” he tells me.

“Why can’t it be about us?” I wondered. Louis smiled as he kissed me, “right now it about you first,” he says. He undid the top of my baby doll as he kissed me again. He breaks the kiss to pull it over my head. He dropped it onto the floor as he went back to kissing me. I wrapped my arms around his neck as I deepened the kiss. I grinded against him as Louis grabbed my bottom. He squeezed it as I got harder against him. He stood up and I immediately wrapped my legs around him. Louis turned around to kneel on the bed. He placed me in the middle of the bed as he hovered over me. I knew what was about to come, so I grabbed the waistband of his boxers. Louis started kissing my neck as I tried to pull his boxers down, “babe what are you doing?” he wondered.

“If I’m going naked, so are you,” I tell him. Louis kissed across the top of my chest before he sat up. He pulled me up, so I could take his boxers off. When I got them off I threw them on the floor. I started to kiss his neck to his chest. Louis pushed me back down on the bed as he knelt between my legs. He placed his hands on my sides, “you sure about this” he asked as he moved his thumbs up and down my stomach.

“I am,” I tell him. Louis kissed me from my lips to the start of my knickers. He lightly rubbed me through my knickers and my breathing got faster. He started pulling my knickers down kissing where they were. He pushed my legs together so he could pull them off completely. He placed my legs on each side of him as he ran his hands up my thighs. Louis leaned over me, “babe you need to relax a bit more. I’m not going to hurt you,” he reassured me. He kissed me as his fingers played between my legs. I moaned into his mouth before he started kissing down my body. Louis moved down the bed, so his head was between my legs. He kissed right between my legs a couple of times. I felt his tongue move up and down my slit and I couldn’t help, but let out a small moan. He nibbled on my button, “oh god,” I whispered. Louis started to suck on my button as one of his fingers entered me. Louis wrapped his arm around my waist to stop me from moving around. He removed his finger and replaced it with his tongue. I felt his tongue inside of me as I started swearing uncontrollably. After a bit Louis removed his tongue from me and started sucking on my button again. He entered two fingers in me as he curled them to hit the spot. He kept going until I couldn’t take it anymore. I came over his fingers and Louis licked me clean. He kissed up my body to my lips, “I love you,” he tells me.

“I fell for you,” I smiled. I kissed him as I pushed him onto his back. I started kissing his neck, “this does feel different,” Louis says. I looked at him as I kissed across his chest, “it don’t feel rushed,” he added. I kissed down his abbs, “I know,” I say as I dug my fingers into his thighs. I kissed his member from the tip to the base. I licked back up to the tip before I took some of him in my mouth. I started to suck him as I put more of him into my mouth. I grazed my teeth over his member as I took him out of my mouth. Louis moaned deeply as his eyes closed. I did it a couple more times, “babe if you keep doing that I’m going to cum,” he groaned. I did it once more before I started to suck him. I went up and down on him and made sure that I played with the tip with my tongue. I started to massage his ball as I got faster. I knew Louis was holding back by the way his body tensed up. I grazed my teeth along his member again and I felt him twitch in my mouth. I got faster as he came into my mouth. I kept going, so Louis high wouldn’t stop.

When he finally came down he pulled me up to his face and kissed me hard, “fuck that was amazing,” he puffed. Louis kept me on top of him as he caught his breath. I traced his tattoos, “um hunny we need to talk about us having sex,” I started. Louis moved me next to him as we laid on our sides, “it not happing tonight. I know everything set up nicely and the mood right between us, but we are waiting until next weekend,” he tells me.

“That the thing Louis. My period is due next weekend,” I tell him. Louis bit his lip, “we either do it this weekend or we do it the weekend after next,” I added. Louis kissed me, “we do it the weekend after we said we would. It give us more time,” he says. I gave him a small nod, “but why can’t we do it tonight?” I wondered. Louis kissed me, “because I want us to go away. I don’t want to do it here or at your place. I want somewhere nice,” he admitted. I kissed him “You said I get to pick where as long as there a bed and no one can interrupted us,” he reminded me. I kissed him again, “but where were you thinking?” I asked. Louis started kissing me over and over again, “my secret,” he smiled before he kissed me again.

Louis and I made out for about ten minutes, “can I ask why you took your piercings out?” I wondered as I put my head on his shoulder. I ran my fingers over where his piercings were as he ran his fingers down my cheek, “because I have this feeling that you like them out,” he smiled. I nodded my head, “it makes you look innocent,” I tell him. Louis laughed a little bit, “I’m far from innocent,” he says. I shake my head, “to me you are,” I smiled. Louis kissed me, “you’re the innocent one out of us babe,” he tells me. I kissed him as he ran his fingers up and down my back, “I remember our first time together when we laid in your bed. When you wanted to stay in bed with me all day, but we couldn’t. Because you didn’t want to get in trouble from the others. You said to me that I’m the good girl and you’re the bad boy turning me bad. Then you brought back those memories and I cried. Then I saw your vulnerable side when you cried, because you thought you already screwed up with me. Truthfully Lou you’re making me live my life. I want to do everything with you and I’m so happy that I have given you a lot of my first,” I confessed. Louis smiled big, “I fell for you then and I’m still falling for you now,” I added. Louis kissed me, “I fell for you when you walked into physics on the first day of school,” he admitted.

“Then why start this shit with just for fun?” I wondered. Louis bit his lip, “because you told me you don’t do relationships. I was so scared to lose you before anything could happen. I just wanted you around after I realized I could get away from you,” he tells me. I placed my hand on the side of his face as I ran my thumb over is cheek, “you nearly lost me being a jerk to me on the first day,” I tell him. Louis kissed my palm, “we’re such screw ups,” he smiled. Louis moved so he could pull the blanket over us. We talked for a bit more until we fell asleep.

The rest of the school week was quick and Louis calmed down about me hanging out with everyone else. We were in football practice getting ready for our first game after week break from school. I was getting the hang of being captain, but I don’t think I could do it without Sophia. I could tell the same with Louis and Niall. I found out during practise that both teams are going to verse my old school when we get back from break. It made me more determined to win the match. I didn’t care if we won anything else. I just really wanted to beat my old school.

Louis was taking me home to grab my stuff, so I could go to Perrie’s tonight. I think he just wants to spend some time with me since he is spending time with the boys tonight. When we got to my place my mother wasn’t home and Louis seemed happy about that, “what time you got to be at Perrie’s?” Louis wondered.

“After eight,” I replied. Louis smirked, “so that means we got a couple of hours,” he says. I nodded my head, “that gives me enough time to shower and pack,” I smiled. I get out of the car and grabbed my bag, “and other things,” he smiled back. I walked up to the front door with Louis behind me, “I don’t know if I have time for anything else,” I teased as I unlocked the front door. Louis pushed me inside and locked the front door. As he was doing that I ran to my room and shut the door. I leaned up against is, so Louis couldn’t get in, “real funny babe. Let me in please,” he begged. I stayed put, “if you don’t let me in babe. I will make you pay,” he warned me. I started laughing, “how will I pay if you can’t get me,” I questioned.

“I will leave you here and you can make your own way to Perrie’s,” he tells me. I couldn’t stop laughing, “I get Liam or Zayn to pick me up. I even think Niall would take me,” I tell him. He started banging loudly against my door, “you better open this door now!” he shouted. I smiled as I stepped away from my door. Louis came rushing in and picked me up. He threw me onto my bed before he hovered over me. He bit down on my neck not too hard, but I know he left a mark. He started gently bitting down my neck to my chest, “I don’t see how I’m paying for keeping you out of my room,” I say. I felt Louis smirk, “you’re going to touch yourself like we did that day at the cabin, but this time all clothes off. I want to see everything,” he ordered. I felt so turned on, but I wanted him to touch me. I shake my head, “please Lou. I want you to touch me,” I begged. Louis smiled, “but you got to pay,” he reminded me. I bit my bottom lip, “I’ll do anything that you ask as long as you touch me,” I tell him. Louis straddled my thighs, “but I got to punish you. I never go back on my word. If you’re a good girl I might touch you,” he smirked. I nodded my head as Louis ran his hands up my waist under my top, but pulled them away too quickly, “clothes off now and I mean all of them,” he ordered. I sat up to take my top off before I took my bra off. Louis moved off of me, so I could take my knickers and pants off. Louis moved as he sat against the headboard before moving me onto his lap. I pulled his t-shirt, “nope,” he smirked as he shakes his head. I covered myself with my arms, “babe that’s not being a good girl,” he tells me. He grabbed my hands and placed them on his chest. He runs his hands up my arms to down my back. He pushed me into him as he kissed me. I grabbed his t-shirt in my hands as I pulled it up, “Louis please at least get naked with me,” I begged on his lips.

“Only for you,” he smiled. I leaned back as Louis pulled his t-shirt off. I moved off of him as he took his pants and boxer off. I leaned back on my hands as I watched him watching me. I bit my lip as I spread my legs apart a little. I started rubbing myself between my legs and Louis groaned. I ran my finger up and down my slit a couple of times before entering a finger into me. I saw Louis start to run his hand along his hard member. I slowly started to pump my finger in and out of me, “babe I think this is more torture for me than you,” he says. I moaned a little, “fuck babe,” Louis groaned. He pushed me down onto my back as he hovered over me, “I can’t watch you touch yourself. I’m the one that needs to do it,” he admitted. He kissed me hard as I felt his hand travel down my body to my hand. He moved my hand away from in-between my legs before he entered a finger into me. I wrapped my fingers around his member and started pumping him. Louis and I kept the same pace with each other, “babe can we try a sixty-nine?” Louis asked.

“Um,” I started. Louis kissed my nose, “it were you sit on my face while you suck me off,” he explained. I nodded my head before I thought about it too much. Louis laid on his back and I straddled his stomach. He smiled at me as I turned around on him. Louis pulled my legs, so his face was between them. I jumped a little as he started licking up and down my slit. I leaned down to put the tip of his member in my mouth. I started sucking on the tip of his member, but moaned as Louis nibbled on my button.

As we kept going I was finding it harder to keep concentration. I couldn’t stop moaning around him which made him moan. I knew I was about to cum any minute and so was Louis, but we weren’t getting there. I grazed my teeth along his member to the tip before I stated to play with the tip with my tongue. I felt Louis member twitch, so I kept going until he came. I kept sucking him to make sure I got ever last drop. I swallowed his cum as he stuck his tongue into me. I dug my fingers into his thighs as I let out a loud moan. My hips started moving involuntary with Louis’s tongue, “fuck Lou,” I moaned. Louis fingers started to play with my button and I didn’t last long. I came onto Louis tongue swearing uncontrollably. I moved off of him before I laid down on my bed. Louis joined me at the other end, “you alright?” he asked. He pulled me closer to him, so I would lay my head on his chest. I nodded my head as I wrapped my arm around him, “that was hard,” I admitted.

“How was that hard?” he wondered. I ran my fingers up and down the side of his waist, “I couldn’t keep concentration,” I admitted. Louis laughed a little, “that why it took us longer babe. We were trying so hard to give the other one pleasure, but we trying to feel the pleasure ourselves,” he explained. I nodded my head as I kissed him lightly, “I love you,” he tells me. I didn’t say anything as I looked down. I was getting frustrated with myself since I couldn’t say it back. I talked with Veronica yesterday about it and all she told me that I will say it when I’m ready. Louis made me look at him, “babe it alright that you can’t say it back,” he reassured me.

“But it not far on you. I really do want to say those three words, but they won’t come out. I even talk to Veronica about it and all she could tell me was when I’m ready,” I rambled. Louis kissed my forehead, “I can wait until you’re ready. I know you feel the same,” he tells me. I smiled a little, “but do I really feel the same?” I joked. Louis pin me down onto the bed as he hovered over me, “than say that you don’t love me,” he tells me. I smiled, “I fell for you,” I tell him. Louis kissed me, “so do you love me?” he smiled. I nodded my head, “I do,” I say. Louis kissed me again, “I’m going to miss you tonight,” he says. I wrapped my arms around his neck, “I’m not going to miss you tonight,” I teased. Louis kissed my nose, “I know you will,” he smiled. I laughed a little bit, “so what have you boys got planned?” I wondered. I started playing with the back of his hair, “probably games,” he replied. Louis kissed my forehead, “what about you girls?” he asked back. He kissed my nose, “um girl stuff and talking about boys,” I tell him. Louis kissed one of my cheeks, “don’t forget to make me look good,” he tells me. I nodded my head as he kissed my other cheek. He started kissing down the middle of my neck, “what are you up to?” I asked.

“I don’t know. I just can’t help myself,” Louis smirked. He kissed down my chest before I pulled him back up to me, “have you ever heard of conversation?” I questioned. Louis nodded his head as he laid down on me, but put his weight on his forearms. I pushed his hair out of his face, “you know I think about what if Monday never happened. Like if we didn’t fight and tell each other how we really feel. Like I think we will still be doing what we are doing right now. It just you wouldn’t know that I love you,” Louis confessed. I nodded my head, “um better get into the shower,” I say.

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Louis and I had a shower together before I started getting ready to go to Perrie’s. I put on my long red pyjama bottoms and a black singlet after I put my undies on. Louis just put his track pants and a top on leaving his boxers off again. I packed clothes for tomorrow in my dance bag, “um babe,” Louis started. I looked at him, “there a party tomorrow night and everyone going. So I would pack something for it,” he finished.

“Is it one of the boy’s party’s?” I wondered. Louis shakes his head, “can I stay home than?” I asked. Louis looked down, “you can go,” I tell him. Louis looked at me, “but you’ll be by yourself,” he says. I smiled at him, “I’ll be alright. It might be nice,” I reassured him. Louis played with his lip ring with his fingers, “if you’re not going I want you to stay at my house. Troy not home,” he tells me. Why does he want me to stay at his house? I bit my lip, “I want you there, so I can see you when I get home,” he smiled. I smiled back as I nodded my head. I really wanted to say that you didn’t have to go. That we could stay in together, but I didn’t. I didn’t want Louis to change his life for me. I didn’t want to become the clingy girlfriend, “I’ll keep my promise about drinking,” he says. I shrugged my shoulders, “I’m not going, so you don’t have to keep the promise,” I tell him.

“But I want too,” he tells me. I smiled as I looked at the time, “we have thirty minutes until I need to be at Perrie’s,” I say. I move in closer to Louis, “how about we do some school work?” he joked. I shake my head as I kissed him, “but,” he started. I kissed him deeply as Louis wrapped his arms around me.

We broke apart when we head the front door open, “Lilly!” my mother yelled. I sighed as Louis followed me out of my room. We found my mother in the lounge room, “hello Louis dear,” my mother greeted him. I felt sick, “what were you two up to?” my mother smirked as she noticed the mark on my neck. Louis wrapped an arm around me, “just packing. I’m staying at my friend Perrie’s tonight,” I replied. She gave me a small nod, “you can tell me that you’re staying at your boyfriends tonight. You’re nearly eighteen,” my mother tells me. I shake my head, “I’m really staying at Perrie’s,” I tell her. She gave me another small nod, “which we better be getting to,” Louis tells her.

We went back into my room to grab my bag. Before we left I grabbed my bathroom stuff. When we got into Louis car my mother waved us off, “why do I feel sick every time that she nice?” I wondered. Louis laughed as he started driving, “because it poison,” he joked. I placed my hand on his thigh, “what are we going to do for twenty minutes?” I asked. Louis smirked at me, “what did you have in mind?” he wondered. I moved my hand up his thigh to the waistband of his track pants. I slipped my hand in and ran my fingers along his member, “I like it when you don’t wear boxers. It makes it easier for me,” I flirted. Louis gripped the steering wheel as I moved his track pants down. I undid my seatbelt and leaned over. I started to suck him as he was still driving. He pulled over all of a sudden, “fuck babe. That was very naughty,” he groaned. I took more of him in my mouth as I grazed my teeth along him. I started moving up and down on him as he placed his hand on my back. I hope Louis didn’t want to hold on again. I don’t think my mouth could take it. I played with the tip with my tongue and Louis dug his fingers into my back. When I went down Louis thrust his hips up to hit the back of my throat. I controlled my gag reflex this time, so I only gaged a little.

I kept going until he came into my mouth. I swallowed his cum before I sat back up. Louis looked at me as he caught his breath, “that was very naughty of you,” he smiled. He reached over to me and I shake my head, “I don’t want anything and we need to go to Perrie’s now,” I tell him. Louis groaned as I put my seatbelt back on. Louis pulled his pants back up, “I hate when you do that to me,” he mumbled. I grabbed his hand, “but I love it when I do it to you,” I smiled. Louis kissed the back of my hand.

We got to Perrie’s and Liam and Sophia were waiting out the front. Louis and I get out of his car and walked over to them, “what’s happing?” Louis asked. I wrapped my arms around myself since it was cold and I didn’t have a jacket, “Perrie and Zayn running behind time,” Sophia replied. I nodded my head, “are you cold babe?” Louis wondered. I nodded my head again before Louis went to his car. When he came back he had his black hoddie. He puts it on me and I smiled since it smelt like him. I looked at Liam holding Sophia, “so what were you doing before you came here?” I questioned. Louis wrapped his arms around me as he put his chin on top of my head, “school work,” Liam says. Louis kissed the top of my head, “see they did school work,” Louis points out. I shake my head before Louis put his chin back on the top of my head, “there not as perverted as you,” he added. They laughed, “Lou we know it was you,” Liam smiled. Louis shakes his head, “it was Lilly Belle this time. Actually it been her a lot lately,” Louis says. Liam seemed surprised as I shrugged my shoulders, “just about two months ago you’ve done nothing. Now look at you jumping Lou every chance you get. So are you still a virgin?” Liam smirked. I nodded my head as Sophia hit him, “you need to stop asking questions like that,” she tells him. I smiled at her, “it alright Soph. The one thing I learnt with these boys. Is that they have no boundaries,” I tell her.

“Your one to talk. I bet when you girls are alone that you would talk about this shit,” Liam says. Sophia smiled as she nodded her head, “I could always tell them that thing you do with your tongue,” Sophia smirked. Louis dug his fingers into me, “what thing with his tongue?” Louis wondered. Sophia and Liam both shake their heads, “that my secret, but I will say this. Soph loves it,” he smiled. Louis shakes his head, “so is May coming tonight?” I asked to change the subject. Sophia shrugged her shoulders, “we told her, but she said that she will see,” Sophia replied, I gave her a small nod, “on the subject of May. What do you think about her and Niall?” Louis wondered. I looked at Louis, “personally I don’t like how she is still with her boyfriend Mark. She still should have broken up with him. It not fair on Niall to come second with her,” Sophia admitted. We all shocked at her, “Niall trying his best with her and she won’t show the same to him,” she added.

“I’m going to agree with Soph not because she my girlfriend, but because Niall my best friend and I want him to be happy,” Liam tells us. Louis and I agreed with them as Zayn and Perrie showed up. Perrie hugged Sophia and I, “sorry I’m late,” she apologized. We told her that it was alright, “so what did you guys do while you waited for us?” Zayn wondered. Liam smiled at him, “Niall and May,” Liam replied. Zayn nodded his head as he got his smokes out. I had a feeling the boys have talked about Niall and May before. Louis got his smokes out too and gives me one. He lights my smoke up for me before lighting his own. Louis wrapped an arm around me, “so why are you late?” I wondered. Perrie smiled at me, “dinner took too long,” she tells me. I gave her a small nod as I took a drag from my smoke, “do you know if May coming?” Sophia asked her. Perrie nodded her head, “she coming after nine. She had to go to church with her family and Mark,” Perrie replied. Sophia screwed up her face when Perrie said Mark name. Louis phone went off, “that be Harry,” he says. He gets his phone out and read the message, “ok Harry won’t be home until ten. So can we hang out with you girls until then?” Louis asked. We all looked at Perrie, “only if you leave before ten. It’s a girl’s night,” Perrie tells them. All the boys nodded, “we know,” Zayn smiled.

We all went inside after we finished our smokes, “ok parents are at work until five in the morning,” Perrie tells us as we went into the lounge room. Louis sat down on the lounge and pulled me onto his lap. Liam sat next to him with Sophia on the other side of him. I moved so I would be sat between Louis legs as Perrie and Zayn sat on the arm chair together, “so that party tomorrow night. Are we going to have a repeat of Niall’s eighteenth?” Zayn questioned. I knew he was talking about Louis and I, “I’m not going,” I tell them. They were shocked, “is it because of what happened last time?” Perrie wondered. I shake my head, “I just don’t feel like going,” I replied. They all nodded their heads, “Lou still going,” I continued. They all looked at him, “I told him to go. Maybe some time by myself would be nice,” I finished. Perrie laughed a little, “I know it rare with having a boyfriend,” she smiled.

“Well I’m sorry that I don’t like my girlfriend home alone at night,” Zayn says. Perrie kissed him, “I know, but you seem to avoid me when I’m on my period tho,” she pointed out. Sophia and I laughed, “I know how you feel man. You got to watch your every step and every word that you say,” Louis tells him. Zayn nodded his head, “god I wish boys would have there periods. Just so they know how it feels,” Sophia says.

“They do kinda. They get bitchy once in a while for no reason,” Perrie tells us. I looked at Louis, “so are you on your period fulltime?” I joked. Louis laughed a little bit, “I’m not that moody,” he pouted. I shake my head, “we just don’t throw tantrums. We also come cling, emotional and hungry,” I point out. Everyone laughed, “that Lou for sure,” Liam teased. Louis bit my shoulder gently, “I’m sorry baby,” I cooed. Louis smiled, “I like it when you call me baby,” he whispered in my ear. I kissed the side of my head, “I like it when you call me babe all the time,” I whispered back.

May arrived about nine thirty and the boys left fifteen minutes after. We sat in the lounge room, “ok let’s open the discussion on the boys. I say we start with Harry,” Perrie smiled. I shake my head, “staying out of this one,” I tell them. Sophia and Perrie pouted, “but we need some gossip on him,” Perrie says. I shake my head again, “I only have stuff from our childhood,” I point out. They smiled at me, “there nothing to tell you,” I protested. I didn’t want them to poke fun at Harry, “ok let’s skip Harry and move onto Liam,” May tells them. I smiled at her before we looked at Sophia, “so what have you guys done?” Perrie smirked. Sophia smiled, “we had sex for the first time last weekend,” she admitted. Perrie hugged her, “did it hurt?” I wondered.

“It did since he is big, but not like my first time,” Sophia replied. I looked down, “so your first time hurts?” I questioned. I looked at all of them as they nodded their heads, “some girls are lucky that it don’t hurt,” Perrie tried to reassure me.

“Lil it normal to feel like this about your first time. You and Lou are doing it next weekend. Right?” Sophia asked. I shake my head, “weekend after now. My period due next week,” I tell them. Sophia hugged me, “why don’t we tell you about our first times? The good and the bad,” Perrie suggested. I looked at her as she started telling me about her first time.

Sophia and her ex-boyfriend just did it one night. Nothing like Louis got planed with it being special. May and Niall were the same as Sophia. They just took it to far one night and didn’t look back. Perrie on the other hand had a special first time. Zayn took her up to the cabin for the weekend. He cooked her dinner, they danced and he made sure it was all about her. I wondered if that what Louis had planned for us. He keeps saying about making it special, “do you and Lou have anything planned?” Perrie asked me. I shrugged my shoulders, “I know we’re going away for it,” I replied. Perrie smiled, “so Lou going to break his rule about virgins,” May says. I looked at her, “what?” I questioned.

“Lou had a rule about that he don’t touch virgins. He says there no fun,” May tells me. Sophia shakes her head, “that was the old Louis. He is a different person since you,” Sophia reassured me. I gave her a small nod, “you’re his girlfriend not some slut,” she added. I played with my fingers, “I need a smoke,” I tell them. Perrie stood up with me, “I need one too,” she says.

Perrie and I sat down at the front smoking, “don’t listen to May. I known Louis for a while now and his different with you. At first I didn’t believe him, but after I saw him with you. I was wrong. I have never seen him so into someone before,” Perrie admitted. I smiled as I looked down “and the questions he asked Zayn. I knew he wanted to try for you, but someone told him that you don’t do relationships. So he had to find another way. Just lucky for him you never done fuck buddies, so he could act like you were in a real relationship,” she added. I looked at her, “I known for a bit that what we were doing wasn’t fuck buddies. It just I fell for him and didn’t want to fuck it up. So I kept it to myself. Then I knew that Lou wanted more from me. I panicked. When it’s what I wanted from him. I lied to everyone including Lou that I didn’t want more. My words really hurt Lou, so he told me that he didn’t want anything from me. Then I ran into his mum and sisters and then Lou showed up. They invited us to their picnic, so we said yes. When Lou and I got left alone I wanted to take back what I said to him. I wanted him back in any way that he wanted me. Then he told me,” I confessed, but stopped.

“He told you what?” Perrie questioned. I looked down, “that he loves me,” I whispered. Perrie squealed before I calmed her down, “I can’t say it back to him,” I admitted. Perrie looked over my face, “but do you love him back?” she asked. I nodded my head, “it took Zayn a bit for him to say it back to me. He talked to someone about it too,” she tells me. I nodded my head again, “I already talked to Zayn about this. He said to me to talk to veronica and I did. It just feels like Lou going to get sick of me. He going to think that I don’t love him when I do,” I tell her. Perrie hugged me, “hunny he loves you. He knows that you can’t say it until you’re ready. So give it time,” she reassured me. I smiled a little, “but I want to say it before we have sex,” I tell her. Perrie looked down, “it not sex or fucking anymore. What your about to do is called make love,” she tells me. I raised an eyebrow at her, “sex and fucking can have no feelings to it, but when you make love. It feels special like it just the two of you tangled up in each other. Everything seems perfect,” Perrie smiled.

“Was it like that for your first time and the times after that?” I wondered. I know we just talked about the girls first times, but she left this part out. Perrie nodded her head, “in my life time I will still never regret my first time with Zayn even if we’re not together. When we have sex now it still feels pure,” she admitted. I smiled at her, “but then there are those hot moments where his doing me up against a wall or in the gym equipment room. However I still feel loved and not some dirty slut,” she added. I laughed a little bit, “so Zayn didn’t say anything to you about me and Lou?” I wondered. Perrie shakes her head, “maybe he thought you would tell me yourself,” she replied. I nodded my head as we put our smokes out. The rest of the night was filled with movies and doing each other’s nails.

It was the next night and I was getting myself comfortable in Louis’s room, “ok Liam picking me up soon, but are you sure you don’t want me to stay?” Louis asked. I shake my head, “I’ll be fine. Just go and have some fun,” I tell him. Louis fixes his hair, “now call me if you get scared or something happens. I will come straight home,” he started. He comes over to me, “you can do whatever you want as long as I get pictures,” he winked. I wrapped my arms around him, “why would I do that when I have you?” I flirted. Louis kissed me, “so if you’re still awake when I get home. We could do something?” he wondered. I nodded my head as Louis kissed me again, “I’ll be home in about an hour than,” he smirked. Louis phone goes off, “that be Liam,” he sighed. I kissed him, “you better go than,” I tell him. Louis kissed me, “see you soon babe,” he says. I kissed him, “see you soon baby,” I smiled.

When Louis was gone I sat down and done some schoolwork. I got a couple of messages from him just asking if I was alright and what I was doing. An hour passed since the last message and Louis wasn’t home. I knew he be caught up in the party. When I got sick of doing schoolwork I decided to watch a movie to pass the time. I kept thinking what Louis was doing and who he was with. I trust him not to cheat on me, but I don’t trust other people with him. I’m starting to sound like him when we were at the cabin. I watched another movie before I laid in bed on Louis side. I hate being in his house without him here, I hate being in this bed alone. I bury my face into his pillow before I heard something smash downstairs. I quickly sat up and looked around for my phone. I noticed it on the desk, so I quickly ran to it. I called Louis, but I heard his ringtone downstairs. I hung up and slowly left his room.

When I got down stairs I turned the light on to see Louis looking at a broken vase. He looked at me, “hi baby,” he slurred. Great his drunk, “I broke the shitty vase,” he continued. He started picking up the broken pieces, “just leave that. I’ll do it before you cut yourself,” I tell him as I went over to him. Louis stopped me by wrapping his arms around me. He kissed my neck, “I missed you,” he mumbled into my neck. I pushed him away, “your drunk,” I point out. He shrugged his shoulders, “but I still missed you. I love you,” he tells me. I started to pick up the broken vase and noticed a lot of blood. I quickly went over to Louis to grab his hands. He had a cut on his right palm, but I noticed that his knuckles were busted up as well. I looked at him, “you got into a fight?” I questioned.

“Yeah. Brian being a dick and deserved it. I knew I shouldn’t went to his party. I don’t know how many times I told Amy no,” he rambled. I stepped away from him, “you went to Brian party?” I asked. Louis nodded his head, “and Amy came onto you?” I wondered. Louis nodded his head again, “but I said no,” he tells me. I noticed lipstick on his top, “then what’s this?” I snapped as I pulled on his top. Louis looked at it, “that from May,” he tells me.

“What was May doing with you?” I wondered. Louis takes his top off, “she got so drunk that I had to carry her to the car,” he replied. I looked over him to see if he was lying and he wasn’t, “babe do you think I would cheat on you?” he asked. I shake my head, “no. It just I don’t trust other people with you,” I admitted. Louis smiled as he came over to me. He placed his hands on my hips, “but that also means you don’t trust me,” he smirked. I placed my hands on his chest, “go to bed baby,” I tell him. Louis kissed my nose, “but I’m bleeding,” he whined. I shake my head as I pulled him into the kitchen. I put his hand under the tap as I turned it on. I looked at the cut on his palm and it was so deep, “fuck Lou. You’re going to have to go to the hospital,” I tell him.

“nah. Just wrap it up. I’ll be fine,” he tells me. I shake my head as I got his phone out of his pocket. I made Louis unlock it before I called Harry. He picked up on the third ring, “this better be good Lou. I was in the middle of something,” Harry snapped. I heard movement on the phone, “it not Lou. It Lilly,” I tell him. I heard Harry push someone, “what’s wrong? Are you alright?” Harry questioned. I noticed Louis brought his hand up to his face to look at it, “are you sober? I need someone to take Lou to the hospital,” I wondered. I moved Louis hand back over the sink as I grabbed a clean tea towel, “yeah. What happened?” Harry asked. I put the tea towel on his cut, “Louis cut himself. It really deep and won’t stop bleeding,” I say. I heard Harry move around, “alright. I’ll be there soon,” he tells me. I hung up the phone, “no goodbye for sweet Harry that coming to rescue you,” Louis teased. I glared at Louis and noticed that his eyes were blood shot, “are you high?” I questioned. Louis smiled as he nodded his head. I walked away from him, “where are you going baby?” he wondered. I kept walking, “to change since I’m covered in your blood,” I tell him.

After I changed my clothes and put my hair up in a messy bun. I gabbed Louis a new top and my phone. I went downstairs to see Louis sitting on the floor of the kitchen. He had his knees to his chest as he arms were hanging over his knees. The tea towel that covered Louis hand was covered in blood and dripping. He had his eyes closed, so I ran over to him, “Lou,” I say as I shook him a little bit. He smiled as he opened his eyes, “I don’t think I’ll pass my drugs test this week,” he whispered. I thought it was just dope, but now I’m not sure anymore. I put his face between my hands, “what did you take?” I asked. Louis shakes his head, “I’ll get in trouble. I’m already in trouble. I broke my promise about drinking,” he rambled. I kissed him, “I’m not mad baby,” I cooed. Louis started crying, “I’m messed up Lilly Belle,” he started before I stopped him. I hugged him tight, “no you’re not,” I reassured him.

I hugged him until I heard the front door open, “what the fuck happened here?” I heard Harry say. He and Niall walked into the kitchen and their eyes were straight onto Louis and I. There face turn to worry, “what happened?” Niall questioned. Harry grabbed a new clean tea towel, “he cut himself on the vase,” I started. Harry takes off the old tea towel before wrapping it up with the new one. Harry held it tight, “do you know how much he drank or what he took?” I asked. They both shake their heads, “we didn’t go tonight,” Harry tells me. I looked at Niall, “but May went. Didn’t she?” I questioned. Niall shrugged his shoulders, “what about Liam and Zayn?” I asked. Harry nodded his head, “Niall and I decided to have a quite night in,” Harry says. I nodded my head as I stood up. I hand Niall Louis’s top, “I’ll be back,” I tell them.

I sat down on the stairs and felt like crying. I called Zayn, “hi,” I say as he picked up. Zayn moved around, “you alright Lilly?” he asked. I looked down, “do you know what Louis took tonight?” I questioned. Zayn sighed, “probably LSD. He also drunk a lot tonight,” he tells me. I played with my pants, “was May there?” I wondered. I looked up to see Niall, “yeah she was. I had to take her home. She got really drunk,” Zayn replied. Niall sat down next to me, “Lil are you going to be alright with him? I can come around,” Zayn asked.

“No I’m fine. I have Niall and Harry here. We got to take Lou to the hospital,” I tell him. Niall wrapped an arm around me, “why do you got to take him to the hospital?” Zayn wondered. I rested my head on Niall’s shoulder, “he cut his hand quite deep,” I replied. Zayn sighed, “ok. You tell me what happens and if you need me help. Promise me Lilly,” Zayn tells me. Niall rubbed my back, “I promise. Now go back to sleep,” I tell him. We hung up after we said goodbye, “was May there?” Niall asked. I nodded my head, “can I ask why you needed to know why May went?” Niall asked.

“Um Louis told me that it was Brian party and that Amy came onto him. I noticed lipstick on his top. He told me that was from May since he had to carry her to the car,” I explained. Niall nodded his head, “he never cheat on you. He don’t want you to feel like he did when it happened to him,” Niall reassured me. I smiled a little, “oh Zayn told me that he drank way too much and that he thinks that Lou had LSD,” I tell him. Niall kissed the side of my head as Harry came over to us, “we need to get him to the hospital now. Whatever he took is having a strange emotional effect on him,” he tells us. We nodded our heads as we stood up, “it was LSD he took,” Niall tells him. Harry sighed, “what the fuck was he thinking?” Harry mumbled. I shrugged my shoulders, “I’ve been wondering that since he walked through the door,” I say.

Niall and Harry carried Louis to the car as I locked up the house and grabbed my bag. The boys were having a hard time getting Louis to the car, “I don’t want to go to the hospital again. I only got out seven weeks ago,” Louis whined. Niall looked confused, “I know you did Lou, but you cut you hand,” Harry tells him. Louis tried to get away, “but I didn’t do it on purpose this time. Please don’t make me go back,” Louis begged. Harry handed Niall his keys, “you drive. I need to make sure that he stays put. Lilly you’re also in the front,” Harry ordered. They got Louis in the back of the car, “what the fuck is he talking about?” Niall asked. Harry shakes his head, “not the time,” Harry tells him. Harry got in next to Louis as Niall and I got into the front.

When we got to the hospital Niall and Harry carried Louis inside to the emergency department. I went straight up to the front desk to the women, “hey. Um my boyfriend cut himself and it deep. He also been drinking and took LSD,” I tell the women. She called for a doctor straight away to come and get Louis.

Harry, Niall and I sat down in the waiting room, “now will you tell me what Lou was talking about,” Niall demanded. Harry shakes his head, “Louis tried to kill himself,” I tell Niall. Harry looked mad at me, “but he lives the perfect life,” Niall mumbled. I shake my head, “I’m guessing there a lot that you don’t know about him,” I say. Niall looked at me, “he a very hard person to talk to sometimes. He just won’t tell you about his secrets,” Niall snapped. I could tell Niall was hurt about Louis, “Lilly that wasn’t your secret to tell,” Harry tells me. I sighed, “Lou practically gave it away. Maybe that what’s wrong. Maybe you let your secrets consume you to a point where you break,” I started. Harry and Niall looked at each other, “if you’re all meant to be close to each other. You should feel safe to talk to someone about anything, because no one should judge you. I’m starting think that there more secrets with you guys then the truth,” I admitted. Harry and Niall looked down, “even if it something that you know that they will hate you for it?” Niall questioned as he looked at me.

“Who said that they will hate you?” I wondered. Harry started playing with his fingers, “I’m gay,” Harry whispered. He looked at me, “I’ve been lying to everyone about it, because I feel like I would lose them,” he admitted. I noticed Niall was surprised at his sudden confession, “I don’t think so. I still love you,” I reassured him. I still did really love Harry. I didn’t care that he was gay. I just wanted him to be happy. Harry smiled a little bit, “Ni still sitting here,” I added. Harry looked at Niall, “he always been there,” Harry confessed. Niall and Harry were together? But I always thought Niall loved May. Harry went to grab Niall hand, but he pulled away. Niall got up and walked away from us, “um can I go talk to him?” I asked. Harry nodded his head as I got up.

I found Niall smoking outside, “hey,” I say. I stood next to him, “smoke,” he offered. I take one and light it up, “I’m not gay,” he tells me. I looked at him, “Ni you don’t have to lie to me,” I tell him. Niall groaned, “I can’t be it just wrong and disgusting,” he snapped. I put my hand on his shoulder, “then why do you have Harry’s dick up your arse every night?” I teased. I know it was inappropriate, but I need to get a point across to him. He looked at me, “who said he don’t have my dick up his arse every night?” he questioned. I laughed a little bit, “you look like a bottom,” I smiled. Niall pushed me playfully, “we actually take turns,” he admitted. I wrapped my arm around him, “so are you really alright with Harry being gay?” he asked. I nodded my head, “and you,” I tell him. Niall wrapped his arm around me, “thanks princess,” he smiled. Niall kissed the side of my head, “what about May?” I wondered. Niall looked down, “you said that you love her,” I remembered. Niall shakes his head, “I was talking about Harry that day. I was talking about how I love him and that we are hiding from everyone. That I wish we were like you and Lou or Zayn and Perrie. I think that why I like you so much, because you remind me of Harry. And with May she just using me to get back at her family. Lil I’m fucked up about this. If my family find out about this. Let’s just say there not as understanding as you,” he confessed. I nodded my head, “what about the others?” I questioned.

“Can we tell them when I’m ready? It just I did a big step tonight with you. Also can you be there? I would really like you there,” he asked me. I smiled as I nodded my head, “you’re starting to sound like me and Lou,” I point out. Niall laughed, “Is that a bad thing? I don’t think it is,” he smiled. I smiled back, “but then again when Harry finds out you’re not a virgin in two weeks. We will see how you and Lou sound,” Niall joked.

“I love him Niall,” I admitted. Niall was shocked, “that day at the park Louis found me after we said those things. He told me that he loves me,” I tell him. Niall smiled, “but the worst thing is that I can tell everyone that I love him, but I can’t say those three words to him,” I added. Niall rubbed my back, “I know you love him, because if you didn’t you wouldn’t be here. You would have left,” Niall reassured me. He kissed the side of my head, “ok,” we heard Harry say. We looked at him, “um your boyfriend is in the hospital and you’re all over Ni,” Harry points out. I smiled at him since I could tell that he was jealous, “and my boyfriend right there,” Niall smiled. Harry smiled big, “really Ni?” Harry questioned. Niall nodded his head, “yep, but only Lil knows tho and can it stay like that for a bit?” Niall wondered.

“Of course,” Harry says. Harry hugged Niall as he pushed me out of the way, “I’m so proud of you,” he tells Niall. I smiled at them, “now can you see why I top?” Niall joked. I nodded my head, “you don’t top all the time,” Harry says. I started laughing, but stopped when Harry kissed Niall on the lips. I didn’t’ know what to do or say, “I knew it!” we heard Louis yell. We all looked at him, but in the corner of my eye I saw Niall start to panic. Louis was shirtless, attached to a drip and his hand was bandaged up, “Louis,” I warned. He smiled big, “don’t worry babe. I’m really happy for them,” he says. Louis comes closer to us and I moved in front of Niall. I knew in my head that Louis wouldn’t hurt Niall, but his drugged up. Louis hugged Harry, “why didn’t you tell me sooner? I’ve seen the way you look at him,” Louis wondered. Niall stiffened up as Louis hugged him, “relax Ni. I’m not going to hurt you. I’m really alright with this,” Louis reassured him. Niall relaxed a little bit, “there my beautiful strong girl. I’m sorry,” Louis apologized. He kissed me, “it going to take more than a sorry for tonight,” I tell him. Louis kissed me again, “I can’t do that right now. Harry and Niall are here,” he smirked. I pushed him away, “your still high,” I point out. Louis nodded his head, “could be for another eight hours, but they something in my drip to make it go faster,” he tells me. He gets a smoke out as I noticed Niall seemed to be on edge. I touched his back and he flinched away. I looked at Harry, “if you two want to go home you can. It looks like Louis going to be in for a while,” I tell them.

“You be alright?” Harry asked as Niall looked at him. I nodded my head, “we should be alright. We’re in the hospital now,” I reassured him. Harry gave me a small nod, “you can’t go the party only starting,” Louis pouted. I shake my head as I hugged Niall, “hey it be alright,” I tell him. Niall hugged me back, “can you make sure he don’t tell the world?” Niall whispered. I gave him a small nod, “I’ll make sure,” I promised. I kissed Niall’s cheek, “hey I don’t care if your gay, but that my girlfriend,” Louis says. Harry hit him, “calm the fuck down or I’ll stay and send your girlfriend home with Ni,” Harry warned him. Louis put his finger over his lips, “I’ll be good,” Louis mumbled. I hugged Harry next, “I can stay and you can go. I think he might be too much for you,” Harry suggested. I shake my head, “I’ll be fine. I think Ni needs you more,” I tell him. Harry kissed my cheek, “call me if you need me. Also call me when you need picked up,” he tells me.

“Ok,” I tell Harry. Niall stared at Louis as Louis held his arms out, “come on Ni. I don’t bite. I still love you,” Louis smiled. Niall slowly walked over to him before Louis pulled him in for a hug. Louis whispered something into his ear before Niall hugged him back. Harry hugged Louis after Niall and whispered something to him, “I will be nice to her,” Louis tells him. Niall laughed a little bit, “you know that you go to tell Harry if he does something,” Niall says. I nodded my head, “I could always ask the doctor to tie him up,” I joked. Niall looked down, “he might need it later when his coming down from his high,” Niall tells me. He sounded so serious that I started to think if I really could do it, “so call Harry and I if he gets too much. Please,” he added. I nodded slowly, “ready to go Ni?” Harry asked. I started to panic and I want to tell them no, “I don’t want to go anymore. I can tell when Lou comes down from his high it going to be bad. Lil can’t go through that alone,” Niall tells him. I wanted to thank Niall for reading my mind. Harry looked at me, “we will stay,” Harry says. I think I have panic written over my face, “yeah. Party time!” Louis shouted. Harry put his hand on Louis shoulder, “no it back to the hospital for you,” Harry smiled.

We went back into the hospital to Louis room after he found it. Harry and Niall sat down on the lounge in his room as Louis got back on the bed. I stood next to him as a female nurse came in. She put heart monitor stickers all over his chest, “this is my beautiful girlfriend that I was talking about,” Louis beamed. I felt my cheeks go red as she smiled at me. Harry and Niall started laughing, “and them two idiot are my best friends,” Louis added. The nurse winked at them, “taken,” they both say at the same time. Louis and I laughed as she walked out. I sat next to Louis legs on the bed as I grabbed his hand. I played with his fingers, “so you wanna tell me why you took LSD?” I asked. Louis shakes his head, “I’ll get in trouble,” he says. I shake my head, “you won’t be in trouble if you tell me why you took it,” I tell him. Louis smiled and he looked like a little kid, “I took it, because the party was boring,” he says. I shake my head again, “truth Louis,” I snapped.

“See you’re mad at me,” Louis points out. I looked at Harry and Niall for help, “Louis William Tomlinson you tell the truth now or I will take Flower away forever,” Harry threated. Louis grabbed me, “please no,” Louis begged. I pushed him away, “then the truth,” Harry tells him. Louis grabbed my hand, “that party was boring and Benji brought some LSD. I turned it down the first time he offered it, but then I got into a fight with Brian. He kept bugging me all night, so I started drinking. May tried to keep up with me, but she got so drunk that she had to go home. So when Benji offered it again I didn’t think. I’ve done it a couple of times before,” Louis admitted.
“Why didn’t you just go home? You left Lil in your big house all by herself,” Niall asked. Louis sighed, “I know. It just when Lilly there with me I think straight. I think I was going back to fucked up Louis tonight. I don’t want that. I want to show the girl that I love that I can be a better person than I was,” Louis tells them. Harry was shocked, “love?” he mumbled. Louis nodded his head, “I love Lilly,” Louis tells him. Harry stands up, “is that the first time you said it?” Harry questioned. Louis shakes his head no, “I told her Monday,” he replied. Harry started pacing, “did you thought about talking to me first?” Harry snapped. We were all confused, “why do I need to talk to you on how I feel about Lilly? You know that we’re together, so you must know that I love you was coming,” Louis wondered. Harry shakes his head, “I know I’m overreacting about this, but if you two love each other. That means,” he started.

“I know Harry, but it something we have to get used to. I’m glad I missed your slut stage. I’m looking forward to happy tied down Harry,” I interrupted. Harry smiled, “who said my slut stage is not finished?” he questioned. Niall stands up, “it better be. Your making me break-up with May,” Niall tells him. I looked at Louis and he had a smiled across his face, “your still breaking-up with her. I don’t like her and that the end of it,” Harry tells Niall.

“Well if you don’t keep it in your pants. You’re not getting into mine,” Niall tells him. Harry grabbed Niall’s hand, “we will be back,” Harry tells us. They leave the room, “don’t you dare say it,” I tell Louis. He laughed, “say what? That there finally gone and I get some alone time with my girlfriend,” he smiled. Louis wrapped his arms around me, “you’re lucky that I am still your girlfriend. You gave me a heart attack when you came home,” I tell him. Louis kissed the side of my head, “I’m sorry,” he apologized. I shake my head, “I already told you that it going to take more then I’m sorry,” I reminded him. Louis sighed, “and what would you like?” he asked. I shrugged my shoulders, “I’ll let you think of something. Oh and it can’t be sexual,” I tell him. Louis sighed again, “but that what I’m good at,” he whined.

“Really? Who told you that?” I teased. Louis bit my shoulder hard, “ow that was a bit had baby,” I tell him. I looked at my shoulder and I had Louis teeth marks, “that going to bruise,” I added. Louis kissed it, “I don’t know my own strength right now. I’m sorry,” he says. I moved a little bit on the bed before Louis pulled me to him, “don’t go. I’ll behave,” he begged. I laughed a little bit, “I was just moving to get more comfortable,” I reassured him. Louis laid back and I went with him, “I’m never going to a party without you again,” he tells me. I rested my head on his chest, “why not?” I asked. Louis kissed the top of my head, “because I do really stupid stuff and end up in hospital. While my girlfriend worries about me,” he explained. I looked at him, “I bet you were scared shitless tonight without me there,” he added. I nodded my head, “I was since someone said they be home in an hour,” I point out. Louis rubbed my back, “you know Ni right. Why didn’t you just come home?” I wondered. Louis nodded his head, “it just. I wasn’t finished with Brian. He has something planned and I needed to know what it is,” Louis admitted. The nurse came in, “Mr Tomlinson you need to take your piercings out,” she ordered. She glared at me as Louis took all his piercings out. He handed them to me and I put them in my bag. The nurse cheeked Louis pulse and temperature. She looked at me, “now no funny business,” she growled. She left, “what with girls wanting you?” I groaned. Louis laughed a little bit, “are you jealous babe?” Louis teased. I shake my head, “annoyed,” I replied. Louis shakes his head, “you’re jealous,” he smirked. A male doctor came in, “now Mr Tomlinson we have called your mother and she coming in,” the doctor started.

“Why did you fucken do that? She pregnant and got to look after my little sisters,” Louis spat. I put my hand on his shoulder, “because you need an adult here,” the doctor tells him. Louis groaned loudly, “my mate Niall eighteen!” Louis shouted. I could tell that Louis was worried about his mum coming since he has been good lately, “you need a parent here,” the doctor say. Louis groaned loudly again, “it going to be alright,” I reassured him. Louis looked at me, “how? I’m high and drunk. Mum not going to like this since it was one of the reasons she kicked me out,” Louis admitted. I kissed his forehead, “just calm down baby. I’ll work out something with her,” I tell him. The doctor looked over Louis medical chart, “how are you feeling Mr Tomlinson?” the doctor asked. Louis ran his hand through his hair, “just fucken great,” he snapped. The doctor wrote something down, “I’ll come back when your mother gets here,” the doctor tells him before he left. Louis threw his pillow across the room as Harry and Niall came in. Both of their cheeks were red, “what happened?” Harry asked as he picked up the pillow.

“My heavily pregnant mum is coming, because they called her,” Louis says. Harry looked at me, “Lilly already met her,” Louis added. I nodded my head, “I met her Monday,” I tell him. Harry gave me a small nod, “what do I tell her. Sorry mum I fucked up tonight and took some LSD. I also cut my hand pretty good and scared the shit out of my girlfriend,” Louis rambled.

“That’s a start. Now tell me what you were thinking when you took it?” I heard Johanna questioned. She walked into the room, “that’s it. I wasn’t thinking. I stopped all this shit to try and get a better life for myself. Then one night I end up back at square one,” Louis started. I realized that Louis didn’t know that Johanna was there, “I think about giving up with this new start to life. This life I’m trying to have with Lilly, but it just so hard. I don’t get how one girl can put up with so much shit from me. When she got her own shit to deal with at home. Then there my friends. I haven’t really been there for them especially Harry. He puts up with a lot from me when he only cares. I didn’t even know that he loves Niall like he does,” he continued. Niall looked at Johanna and she gave him a smile, “then there my mum. That women deserves a metal for putting up with me and all the shit I put her through. I want to go back living with her and my sister’s. I don’t want to live with Troy. He don’t give a crap about me like my mum does. He could care less if I was found dead. Sometimes I wish I was dead, so no one would have to put up with me anymore,” he finished. Johanna walked over to Louis and hugged him. Harry pulled me out of the room, “I know you want to be in there, but give him and his mum sometime alone,” he tells me. I nodded my head as we started walking.

We got a cup of tea and sat down in the waiting room again. Harry kept looking at me, “what?” I questioned. Harry sighed, “what do you deal with at home?” he wondered. Crap I can’t deal with this right now. I looked down, “is everything alright with you and your mother?” he asked. I really hoped something would happen, so we could change the subject. Harry kneeled down in front of me as he put his hands on my knees, “Flower please talk to me,” Harry says. I shake my head, “this isn’t the time or the place,” I tell him.

“Why not?” he questioned. I quickly looked to Niall for help, but he just shakes his head, “because I don’t want to talk about it right now. My main focus is on Lou right now,” I tell him. Harry sighed “my main focus is you Flower. Just promise me one thing. Whatever is happening at home that you will talk to me about it real soon?” he asked. I nodded my head, “promise,” I tell him. Niall looked disappointed at me, “Harry can I have a word?” we heard Johanna ask. We looked at her as Harry stood up. They left me and Niall, “why won’t you tell Harry that your mother is a bitch?” Niall asked. I looked at him in shock, “Harry might believe your lies, but I don’t. I’m still trying to work out why everyone lets it go on especially you. You’re old enough to fight back,” he tells me. I played with my fingers, “because I’m used to it,” I tell him. Niall shakes his head, “now the lovely Jo is leaving Niall in charge of Lou, so she can go home to the girls,” Harry tells us as he came back. Johanna stood behind Harry, “Lilly can I talk to you?” she wondered. I nodded my head as I stood up.

Johanna and I went outside, “um thank you for being there with Louis. I don’t want to think about what would have happened if you weren’t there tonight,” she tells me. I hugged her, “I didn’t know he was trying so hard,” I admitted. She rubbed my back, “neither did I,” she says. I stepped back, “you don’t know the Lou before this one. I was used to him coming home like this. He got worse when he found out that Mark wasn’t his real father. One night he came home high on LSD making a lot of noise that he woke-up the girls. His emotions were all over the place. One minute he be laughing his head off at something. Then the next minute he be angry breaking stuff. That night I had to call the police on my own son. I remember his face like it was yesterday. I never seen him so hurt and broken. Then I sent him to go live with Troy that’s when he had to start at Eden. I was just looking out for me and the girls. They didn’t need to see him like that, but Louis will always love them. Louis made sure that they went to school every day even when he had a hangover. I wanted that Lou all the time,” she confessed. Johanna was crying and so was I, “but his different now. I don’t know what really happened tonight for him to take it. I just know that he hates that he did. I was hoping Louis didn’t go tonight and stay with me, but I never asked him to. I don’t want to become the clinging girlfriend that won’t let her boyfriend go out with friends. So I never pushed him to stay,” I tell her.

“Sometimes we have to be,” Johanna smiled. Her faced changed, “one of the babies are kicking. Do you want a feel?” she asked. She didn’t give me a chance to answer as she grabbed my hand. She put it on her pregnant belly and I felt the baby kick. I smiled, “Lilly I don’t regret any of my kids. I just regret Louis father,” she tells me. I looked at her, “I know,” I say. I left my hand on Johanna belly as she put my face between her hands, “Lou told me about your mother. He don’t know what to do. He knows you shouldn’t be there, but you told him that you’re alright. That you’re used to it. Hunny you need to find somewhere else to live. You need a happy home,” she tells me. I nodded my head, “so are you and Louis alright now?” I wondered. Johanna nodded her head as I finally moved my hand away from her belly, “we are. Oh I better be going home to the girls. Make sure Niall looks after Lou,” she tells me. I nodded my head, “and that boy got to stop worrying about what people will think of him and Harry. Everyone deserves to be happy with whoever they want,” she added.

After Johanna left I went back in to see Louis. He was talking to Harry and Niall, “there’s my girlfriend. I thought you left me,” he says. I shake my head, “I was just talking to your mum,” I tell him. Louis seemed horrified, “it all good stuff,” I reassured him. He smiled as I walked over to him and hugged him, “you alright babe?” Louis questioned. I nodded my head, “just tired,” I replied. Louis kissed my forehead, “why don’t you take the bed and I’ll sit in a chair,” he suggested. I shake my head no, “I’ll be alright,” I tell him. Niall moved to the lounge in the room, “plus this is a sofa bed,” he smiled. He pulled the cushions off before pulling out the bed. He gets on it and I join him, “Lou can I go to sleep with your girlfriend on the same bed?” Niall wondered. Louis nodded his head, “just no cuddling. I only get to do that with her,” Louis tells him. Harry and Niall laughed a little bit, “Louis said cuddling,” Niall smiled.

“I bet you two cuddle,” Louis says. Niall nodded his head, “we also do more than that. Cuddling comes after the mind blowing sex we have,” Niall smirked. Louis smirked back, “same,” he lied. Harry punched him in the arm, “you better be lying Louis or I put you in the ICU,” Harry warned him. Louis nodded his head, “I am so lying. Me and Lil haven’t even got passed touching,” Louis lied again. I shake my head, “I think you should just shut up baby,” I tell Louis. He nodded his head again as he got off the bed. Harry left the room, “so how far have you two gotten?” Niall wondered.

“Oral. I had my first sixty-nine yesterday,” Louis admitted. I was shocked and so was Niall, “you never done that before?” I questioned. Louis shakes his head as he grabbed his pillow and blanket off the bed, “like I said babe you’re not the only one having first’s,” he reminded me. I looked at Niall and he shrugged his shoulders. Louis put the pillow at the top of the bed, “lay down babe,” he tells me. I lay down and put my head on the pillow, “don’t worry about me. You just get some sleep,” he say. He takes my shoes off before he put the blanket over me. He kissed my forehead, “goodnight my girl,” he says. I puckered up my lips and Louis kissed them, “goodnight my boy,” I smiled. Louis tucked my hair behind my ear, “I love you,” he whispered.

I got woken up by Niall poking me, “wake-up princess,” he mumbled. I moved a little bit, “that better be your finger poking me Ni,” I say. Niall laughed a little as I slowly opened my eyes. I noticed that my arm was wrapped around him with my head on his chest. Niall had his arms wrapped around me too. I quickly moved away as Niall laughed harder, “it alright. I’m not offended,” he joked. I sat up and noticed that Harry and Louis were gone, “where are they?” I wondered. Niall sat up, “I don’t know,” he replied. We get off the sofa bed, “they could have gone for a smoke,” Niall added. I nodded my head, “Lou calm down!” we heard Harry shout. Niall and I quickly ran into the corridor to see Louis punching a wall. Harry was trying to stop him, “Louis!” Harry yelled. Harry noticed Niall and me, “Louis you need to stop Lilly here,” Harry tells him. Louis looked at me as Niall stepped in front of me. Louis threw a chair at us and it just missed, “you get away from her fag boy!” Louis yelled. I gripped onto the back of Niall’s top, “Lilly get away from him now,” Louis demanded. I shake my head, “not until you calm down,” I tell him. Louis groaned loudly, “you get away from him now if you love me,” he snapped.

“That unfair Louis. You’re in some fucked up mood and I don’t know what you’re going to do,” I tell him. Harry stepped in front of Louis, “Louis you’re scaring her. You need to calm down,” Harry ordered. Louis pushed Harry out of the way and comes running up to Niall and I. Louis put his face in real close to Niall’s, “you move now or I will make,” Louis warned him. Niall pushed him back, “I won’t let you anywhere near her. Lou you’re not in the right mind,” Niall tells him. Louis tried to get me, but Niall pushed him back again, “Niall don’t fuck with me right now,” Louis tells him. Niall stood his ground, “what are you going to do when you get her?” Niall questioned. Harry moved in closer behind Louis without him seeing, “we’re getting the fuck out of here,” he says. Louis seemed lost, “then what?” Niall wondered.

“Then whatever the fuck I want,” Louis smirked. Harry grabbed Louis from behind and Niall grabbed his legs. I just watched them carry Louis back to his room. A couple of people went in behind them as I leaned against the wall. I looked at the floor too scared to move. I felt my chest tighten at Louis words ‘whatever the fuck I want’ that smirk just added to it. I remember Matt saying those words to me. As the memories came back my chest kept getting tighter, so it felt like I couldn’t breathe. I felt a pair of hands on my shoulders and I quickly pushed them off. If I could I would scream my lungs out. The hand came closer to my face, so I flinched away from it. When the hand gently grabbed my face it pulled it up. It was Harry and he was saying something to me, but I couldn’t hear him. I felt dizzy as I tried to focus on Harry. He looked away from and I grabbed his arms. He quickly turned to me before he pulled me into a hug. I started focusing on his breathing to get mine slower. Harry rubbed my back, “it alright now,” I heard him say. I wrapped my arms around him as I looked at him. He kissed my forehead, “you alright now?” he asked. I shrugged my shoulders, “I’m sending you home,” he says. I shake my head, “I don’t want to go home,” I cried. Harry kissed my forehead again, “mum coming to get you, so you can stay at ours,” he tells me. I hid my face into his chest, “we got Lou. He be alright without you,” he added. I shake my head, “Flower he is scaring you to death. You just had an anxiety attack. I can’t have you in hospital too,” Harry points out.

“It wasn’t him. It what he said. I heard it before,” I mumbled against his chest Harry kissed the top of my head, “you know it only going to get worse from here? I need you to go home,” Harry tells me. I looked at him, “but I’m meant,” I started. Harry shakes his head, “not this time. Your relationship is still young. I also hate to say it, but I think you’re making him worse,” Harry interrupted. I nodded my head, “can I say bye?” I wondered. Harry sighed, “Ok, but he has been restrained to the bed. I’m telling you, so you don’t freak out,” he tells me.

We went into Louis room and all eyes were on me. I stood there nervously as I looked at Louis. He had restraints on his wrists and he looked like hell. Harry put his hand on my back, “I can’t,” I whispered. I quickly ran out of the room and Harry followed me, “Lilly!” Louis shouted. He sounded hurt and confused, “I can’t. I don’t know why,” I rambled. Harry hugged me as Louis kept shouting my name. Niall came out with my shoes and bag, “please bring her back!” Louis shouted. Harry kissed the side of my head, “I’ll be right back,” he tells me. I nodded my head as I took my shoes off of Niall, “Lil don’t beat yourself up about this. He be alright,” Niall reassured me. I put my shoes on, “is it tho? I can’t even look at him at the moment. What if I never can? What going to happen?” I questioned. Niall looked down, “Lil if you love him like you say you do. Then everything will work out. Tonight is just a bump in the road,” he tells me.

“If I love him I should stay no matter what. We already had enough bumps in the road,” I snapped. Niall shakes his head, “Lou’s last words to me before Harry and I grabbed him. That’s what set your anxiety attack off. That fuckhead said them to you. Didn’t he?” Niall asked. I nodded my head, “Lilly you alright sweetie?” we heard Anne ask. I turned to her, “yeah,” I lied. Niall shakes his head, “Lil learn to tell the truth for once. No she not alright. Louis scaring the shit out of her and she just had an anxiety attack,” Niall tells her. Anne wrapped an arm around me, “thank you Niall,” she says. Anne kissed the side of my head, “let’s get you to mine and put you to bed,” she tells me. I nodded my head, “no, no, no!” I heard Louis scream. Harry came back out, “mum,” he smiled. He hugged and kissed Anne. Niall pulled me to him, “you know you can tell her anything?” he whispered in my ear. I nodded my head, “well let’s go,” Anne says.

The car ride to her house was quite. When we got inside Anne showed me the spare room, “if you need anything just wake me up,” she tells me. I looked down, “um I don’t want to sleep alone,” I admitted. Anne smiled as she grabbed my hand. She took me to her bedroom, “you can have the right side since I sleep on the left,” she tells me. I smiled as I took my shoes off. I got under the covers as Anne changed into some pyjamas. She gets in next to me, “this reminds me when you were little. You used to come into my bed when you had a bad dream and sleep with me. You told me that I scare all the monsters away,” she remembered. I smiled at the memories, “but you’re much older now,” she added. We laid down facing each other, “so am I too old for it now?” I joked. Anne laughed a little bit as she shakes her head. She moved my hair out of my face, “you know it ok to admit what happing tonight scaring you?” she wondered. I nodded my head, “it just I’m meant to be his girlfriend. I meant to be there for him, but I’m here hiding from him. I’m scared that after tonight that I might freak out on him again. I couldn’t even say bye to him. I love him,” I rambled. Anne ran her thumb over my cheek, “if you love him like you say you do. Then everything will work out,” she reassured me.

“Niall said the same thing,” I remembered. Anne smiled big, “so that boy has been listing to me. He also a smart boy and I’m glad that he is with Harry,” she says. I was shocked that she knew about Harry and Niall, “you know?” I questioned. Anne nodded her head, “I am Harry’s mum. That boy can’t hide anything from me. I remember when he tried to hide his first tattoo from me. He told me after an hour of him being home,” she tells me. I laughed a little bit, “what one was it?” I wondered. Anne thought for a second, “a star outline on his left arm near his armpit, but it solid black now. Then he got an A on the same arm for me. Then more and more. He just didn’t stop. I think he also got one for you too,” she tells me. I couldn’t help but smile, “do you know what one?” I asked.

“It a lily on his chest. You were a big part of our lives Lilly. You still are especially in Harry’s life. I remember when he came home from the first day of school to tell us that he found you at school. You couldn’t take the smile off his face,” she tells me. I looked down, “I always thought it was Marcel and I that always together, but at dinner when we looked through the photo album. That it was me and Harry that were always together. I feel closer to Harry than Marcel. I feel like I can tell Harry anything, but I don’t. Harry still sees me as the little girl playing with my dolls,” I admitted. I looked at Anne, “because you are his little sister. He is always going to see you like that. You just got to make him treat you like an adult,” Anne tells me.

“I am a couple weeks older than him,” I point out. Anne laughed a little bit, “you were due a week after the boys, so you’re actually meant to be younger than them. Maybe Harry knows this and that why he sees himself as the big brother,” she say. I laughed a little bit, “or he hates the fact that I’m older,” I smiled. Anne and I talked about random stuff until we fell asleep.

Notes

Titles of the other boy’s books:
Louis – Her
Harry – Opposite
Niall – Truth
Liam – Addicted
Zayn - Fixed