Something Great

Chapter 19

A week has gone by, in and out of new places and on and off the tour bus. Every time we stopped to stay at a hotel, I went down to the gym and worked out for 4 hours straight. Hoping I would slim down even the slightest, but nothing was working. The dress would just feel the same tightness when I tried it on Sunday (yesterday). Today, we were ordering in Chinese food to the hotel before the concert started. It was so difficult watching them chow down to the greasy food. The smell, oh my God I couldn’t even get myself started. This time I chose not to eat at all, skipping one meal wouldn’t be the worst. I mean I was never for skipping meals and not eating at all but it was only until after The Grammy’s. Besides I only had 3 more weeks to do something about it or else I would have wasted a large amount of Harry’s money on a dress that looked bad. To be completely honest, I didn’t take into consideration what Coralie said…I listened to the thin French woman who worked at that store. And even though I’d probably never see her again, her words would stick with me until I did something about it.

Another thing I needed to be careful of: making sure that no one and especially Harry notices that I’m skipping meals. I didn’t need to explain myself anyway because it’s my body but still, I didn’t want the nagging questions.

But I was a little obvious when everyone ordered Chinese food except for me. Then there was Niall bringing up the first question. “Em, you didn’t get anything to eat? Did we forget your order?” He asked, turning back to look in the large bag for any food. “If you want I’ll call them back up,” he offered.

“No, no. It’s okay,” I shrugged. “I’m not really hungry,” I stated making everyone look at me weird because I had the appetite of a teenage boy. “Seriously, I’m not hungry. Yeah, yeah shocking.” I laughed, hoping it would be the end of discussion.

“But you worked out for like 5 hours today and all you ate was that protein shake,” Harry mentioned. He was going to be hard to get by because he didn’t miss a thing…well he didn’t miss little things like this.

“No, I also had an egg sandwich. And I just don’t really feel that well,” I lied. Harry shrugged and continued eating his food.

“Go take a nap, we gotta long night.” I nodded in agreement and thanked God that Harry dropped the conversation.


Thankfully, I was fine with not eating anything for the rest of the night and no one noticed. Harry eyed me for a little but I talked to him and reassured him that I was fine. Finally, he believed me and let the situation go. I just kept drinking water so I didn’t faint or pass out.


Sadly, Coralie left and I didn’t have my girl with me but I’d see her soon enough. I’m sure Harry’s inviting her to the party we’re having after the Grammy’s. So then I’d see all my girls, Coralie, Perrie, Danielle and Eleanor. We were all best friends considering we were each dating one of the boys, besides we all clicked well together. My mind tried to stay focused on anything but food but I was determined to fit into my dress.


I stopped “eating” around the guys and with anyone else so they wouldn’t know that I was skipping meals. Water had become my best friend, no doubt there. I could feel myself getting thinner as the days went on and finally when I put the dress on it felt a lot more comfortable but it was too early in the game to stop now. I had to keep up what I was doing in order to stay this way for the next 2 and a half weeks. I worked out harder and soon enough I looked better in all my clothing, slimming down more than I imagined.


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“Harry!” I screamed, he was chasing me around the hotel room and finally he pushed me down on the bed. I got a little dizzy but then caught myself again, looking up to his beautiful face close to mine. He leaned down, passionately kissing me. We kissed like we hadn’t kissed in months but it’s only been hours. But it’s probably been weeks since we’ve kissed like this. These kisses were my favorite, the ones where you look at them and realize your whole world was in front of you. And then you their lips crash down on yours, making you remember why you’re following this path in the first place. His body was hovering mine and the heat staying between our bodies. I couldn’t wait any longer, I mean there were times where I liked when it was slow and intimate but I needed him now. Harry caught on, pulling my shirt over my head and threw it to the side. Slowly (because he liked to tease), he trailed kisses down my stomach and then he stopped. “What?” I asked, confused.

“Emma…” he said looking down at my stomach. “Emma, I’ve never been able to see your ribs like this…” he trailed off. He got off the bed and I felt like the world was lying on top of me. I couldn’t get up from my position. “Have you been eating? Please don’t lie to me.”

“Yes,” I lied immediately. Finally, I could feel myself picking my body up so now I was facing Harry. The disappointment on his face was slowly pecking at my heart. They always say that disappointment was worse than anger and they were so unbelievably right.

“I can’t believe you just lied to me…” He choked. It looked like he was going to cry and I wanted to get up and make him stop.

“I-I didn’t!” I kept lying, it was like I didn’t know how to stop. “Harry, don’t be upset. I didn’t lie!” Another lie.

“I know you’re lying! Emma, you’re ribs never stuck out like that! They never did,” he pointed to my exposed stomach. I couldn’t help but look down and feel my ribs sticking out further than they used to. How could I tell him, though? Oh yeah, I’m just starving myself because I’m an insecure ass who doesn’t know how to ignore rude people’s comments? Oh and to fit into a dress. I sounded more and more pathetic as I thought about it. “Why would you do this to yourself?” he pleaded to know.

“I…it’s nothing,” was all I could manage to get out.

“How could you say that it’s nothing?!” Harry raised his voice. “Obviously you have a problem-“ Zayn entered our room in the middle of Harry yelling through his almost hidden tears. I crossed my arms over my bra and shifted uncomfortably in my spot.

“My God, Emma.” Even Zayn noticed and that threw Harry over the edge. He threw his hands in the air, an obvious sign of surrendering in this certain conversation. With that, he stormed out of the room. My knees were going to give out in seconds but luckily, Zayn came to the rescue and sat me down on the bed behind me. “We need to talk,” he said while rubbing my back.

Notes

It's a little short, I'm really sorry I'm just struggling a little(:

-Clare