Jessica’s P.O.V
I tipped back the rest of the apple martini and slide the green olive into my mouth. I’ve never drunk this before but it was surely calling my name over there at the bar. Harry came storming out of the den; his mind was bombarded with something.

I guess he didn’t see me because he walked on pass me like I wasn’t there. He stopped at one of the bulky security guards, he nodded towards my direction then Harry turned to look at me. I gave a short wave, letting him know that I was here the whole time. He whispered something short to the guy then came over towards me. I gradually got off the steps “Are you drunk Jess?”
I walked down the stairs slowly and cautiously. “No, I’m not I only had one drink father” A half smile printed on his face. “Do you want to dance?” He leaned out his hand “I don’t dance with strangers” He quickly grabbed my arm “Well I do” He slid his hand to my lower back gesturing for me to go first on the dance floor.

As we got to our desired spot, he left his hand on my back and slid his other hand into mine. I didn’t know where to put my opposing right hand so I put it on his shoulder. Our bodies were close but of course Harry wanted us closer, he pushed me harshly up against his body; making my boobs sore. “So, what did that guy want to talk to you about?”

He avoided the question for a few minutes. I couldn’t see his face; I could only see the crowd of people dancing over his shoulder. “I don’t want to talk about him love, I want to talk about you” Oh! I don’t know what to say I mean talking about myself could get pretty boring. “Wow, why would you be interested?”

“Interested? We’re talking about you I’m fascinated” I pondered on his comment. “Why did you pick me? Am I your….victim?” He pulled his fast dancing to a slow tempo. He removed his head off over my shoulder to look at me. “Victim eh? Nobody told you to stay. Maybe it’s my alluring eyes and the way I make you feel is the reason why your body is here with me….I don’t quite know why your still attracted to me, I’m quite the ass” I slightly smiled, as he did the same.

We swayed back and forth getting lost in the music, the sweet melody of Bach boomed threw the speakers diffusing over the crowd. Everybody was dancing very close to each other like they didn’t want to let the other companion go. Now Harry? He was wrong the worst kind of wrong; He made it so wrong it felt right. And that made me feel completely out of control. “You like the rejects…” He interrupted my thoughts. “What?” He curved my back and dipped me low. “You like rejects. At the grocery store you always take the dented cans. I’ve been paying attention.

He brought me back up. The music was now speeding up the tempo into a different song. “Is that why you like me?” He was vulnerable or he was trying to get me to admit something. “No, I believe in another theory where you don’t judge a book by its cover” I said. We increased our body speed he grabbed me closer, we danced in circles, back and forth. “So if somebody came to you with a barbaric secret, a secret that they never wanted to reveal but it revealed it’s self what would be your opposing advice to the situation?” His smart questions were getting me lost.
“I-I would simply evaluate the secret closely, try to help that person get past his or her dark problem. But then I also ask myself, why….why did this person feel like they couldn't come to me in the first place.

He stopped dancing, so did I. His deep stare was sending me into a greened eyed coma. Everybody dancing around us made sure not to run into our bodies. He searched in my eyes for something, something understanding maybe he was even trying to sort out my own secrets. He quickly showed his slight seductive grin then grabbed my hand tightly. “Come”

We walked past the dance floor full of people dressed in their best attire, they we’re oblivious to me and Harry. What kind of party is this? He lead me off to this secluded corner, there was a curtain separating us from the dancers. There was a bed that was shaped like a circle and had pillows placed on them perfectly like a picture. His stare was alluring and thrilling but the only thing that he couldn't hide behind those eyes was his seductive smile. I knew he wanted something, deep in my stomach I could feel his want and desire for me but I wanted to act innocent of ever thinking that thought.

“Lay” His voice was demanding, I slowly laid down on the soft bed. He bent down to slide off my heels slowly and carefully. This is it! He quickly pulled off his suite to reveal a white crisped shirt that took kidnap of his torso. He threw the jacket on the floor then stared down at me for a few minutes; his finger slowly rubbed his bottom lip. He was studying me like a piece of art, like I’m something to eat.

“Open” I hesitantly pried my legs open, a draft stuck up there making me shiver. He then slowly crawled between my legs and hovered over my body. Oh no here we go, we’re going to have sex! He still hovered over my body taking in my features. He slowly reached down to my legs and scraped his hand up my thigh, higher and higher. Then slowly he leaned his face into my neck and started kissing me fraily, teasing my body.

“Do….you want me?” His voice was just above a whisper. I grabbed his hair and pulled it to my eye level “…Yes…” Then I quickly crashed my lips on to his. He grabbed my hip pulling me closer to him. His hands eased higher up my dress, my panties were now revealed. I wrapped my legs around his hips tightly; I could feel his budge dig deep into my sex. My ovaries were strangling themselves. Our kiss escalated, climaxing; his tongue dug deeper and deeper into my mouth, sending my body spiraling down and down.

Then suddenly his groping and delicious kiss stopped and he removed himself off the bed. He paced back and forth looking at me like I was a mistake. “Wh-what’s wrong?” His mind was struggling between a decision in his head. “I-I can’t….have sex with you Jess”

“Okay, well…then don’t we don’t have to d-….” I said thoughtfully “It’s…It’s not that, I would still not be able to have sex with you” Well now I felt self-conscious about my body. I tried to cover up my legs with my arms but there was too much skin that was exposed. He sat slowly on the bed. “Listen Jess, I can’t have sex with you…because I don’t have sex” What? “Well, it’s okay I get if you’re a Christian or Mormon…”

“Jesus Christ Jess, I can’t even go inside a church” What? More and more he spoke I was getting confused. “I’m not Christian or Mormon Jess….I don’t have sex because I fuck…..hard, that’s who I am. I put all my anger and pain into sex, which gets pretty rough really quick. And….I don’t want to hurt you Jess.

I can handle a little pain…..maybe. “You won’t” He grabbed his jacket from the floor and slid it back on. “I……Don’t have…emotion when I fuck. And you…..you don’t seem like the type of girl to be fucked Jess, you seem like the type that wants to be loved and cared for, somebody who wants hearts and flowers. And I’m not that type of guy”
I tried to protest but he wouldn’t stop. “I don’t want to be a man, I want to be an angst-ridden teenager who can’t confront his own inner demons and takes it out verbally on other people instead of sex.”

“So, where do this go…..from here Harry?”
“I’m not good for you Jessica and its pretty clear so why don’t you….leave me alone. Just go on about your life, date a guy that’s normal somebody who will treat you the opposite of the way I treat you”

I got up vastly. “You treat me pretty damn well….other than….but that was only once.”
“And who says I won’t hit you again huh love?” His voice was angry and scary; I’ve never seen Harry mad. “Look, Jess….when I drop you off at home. Don’t call…..Don’t write….Don’t try to find me, because I will be gone. If you think you’re close to finding me, I’ll be ten steps ahead” The tears were starting to well my eyes. Just us attempting sex, started all this? Gosh if I would have known, I would have never come here with him.

He slowly walked closer to me. He pushed my sex hair out of my face and kissed my forehead softly. I closed my eyes, feeling a tear drop down my cheek and on to the floor. He then walked away. I watched him walk, and walk till he was just now exiting the curtains.

I stood there not believing what just happened. I mean sure of course, I hated him and thought he was a creepy rapist at first. But I just got used to him, I just got used to his sexual gestures, his alluring eyes…his seductive smiles, those quick snarky comments. Is this what loves feel like? Then loves a bitch! I was too busy stuck in my head that I didn't even notice that Harry stopped by the curtain. He wasn't facing me, he was facing the crowd. Something caught his attention, he was deciding between something in his head. Then suddenly he quickly turned around and strode over to me, he took my face between his hands and kissed me rapidly.

He kissed me like his life was depended on it. This kiss was different; it was strong, forthcoming and told a lot behind that smile of his. His hands traveled through my hair, while the other guided along my jaw line. His tongue was seducing my other tongue slowly, enjoying this moment.
I’ve never let him kiss me, unless we were getting physical. He broke the kiss and wiped the residue from my lipstick off his lips. “I need to take you home” He didn’t look at me or even touch me. He turned and started pass the curtain again.

Is that what it feels like? He claimed that his sex kiss is different from his normal kiss…but I didn’t know it felt like that or I would have let him kiss me a long time ago.

Notes

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