Shattered

Angelica's P.O.V-

I don't know how I ended up like this. Maybe I just couldn't take it anymore after mother left, maybe the pain was too much even though I was numb. Or maybe I felt like if I stayed I'd be the reason for more pain and suffering. I'd be the one to remind my father of what he did, and why he did it. I'd be there to lie to my little brother making him believe that mother is in a better place and that father is never going to touch us again. I know it's all a lie, mother was evil, pure evil, a cheater, an abusive parent, a bad example, a terrible human being. Father was just as bad, as abusive, as mean as she was, but he never touched us, he would just yell when he was drunk and beg for forgiveness the next morning.

I was hoping that he would get better from his alcoholic phase, I was hoping mom would realize what she was doing before she killed someone. But I was hoping for the impossible, something I used to be sure God could handle. That year, my world came down, and I went with it to the never ending hole of depression. I would be called terrible names in school, people would spread awful rumors about my sexuality and love life, I'd be shoved into lockers and kicked all the time. But I stood tall and strong, until he started hurting for real... All of my hopes were gone, my faith was reduced to ashes, my smile turned into a permanent blank expression, my pain into numbness cured by a razor every night.

I had broken into billions of pieces that were scattered all over my soul. I had wounds as deep as the ocean, as big as the mountains, and soon, God was only a word with no meaning to me. I used to have a burning flame of faith, now it was no longer lit, I used to believe angels watched over me by God's command, but now I fear that the dark angels mock me, I used to have dreams of better days, now they're all nothing but nightmares full of blood.

Despite all of that, I still have a bit of faith, that I might find the one, that someone will take care of me and help me heal those open wounds. Someone would come and stitch my cuts, lightly trace my bruises and they'd heal. My faith was lit up again when I got this job, because somehow I felt closer to God even after cutting our relationship, even after my battles and wars. They made me stronger, thicker, and showed me that God was always there, that it could've been worse, I could've died, but He had a bigger plan for me...

"Angel! Earth to Angel!" Harry hand was waving in front of me. I felt a single tear roll down my cheek, I quickly wiped it though. I smiled at them all and took the controller from Liam's hand.

"Guys... I have no idea how to play this game..." I trailed off shyly. I look down at my trousers and laughed a bit. I looked up and the boys had worried expressions on their faces.

"What? Is it that bad that I don't know how to play this?" I was a bit uneasy now. Louis sighed loudly and threw himself next to me on the couch. He stared at me and so did the other with a very worried expression.

"Angel... Why- How- What made you so... Closed up?" Harry broke the silence, stammering a bit. I stiffened a bit. No one has ever cared, and I don't know how to answer...

"What do you mean closed up? I'm just a bit shy..." I trailed off hoping they would get the hint and drop the subject. They either failed or weren't going to stop until I answered.

"You can either tell us your story, or we're going to stare at you the whole time and give you pitying looks. Your choice" Liam said, crossing his arms. I sighed heavily and closed my eyes nodding. I sniffled, trying to swallow the huge lump that was forming in my throat. I tried not to cry, but as soon as the tears were stinging my eyes, I let them free.

"I'm not who you think I am..." I simply said. I paused for a long time, the tears falling freely down my face. The memories hit me one by one, the most painful ones and the most amazing ones too. I smiled at the ones I had of when little Liam was growing up, but they soon turned into tears as I remembered what he went through, he was so young, he still is, and yet he has just as many scars as I do...

"I-I.... I have to pick up Liam" I ran out the door and got into my car. I held in my tears this time, wanting to seem happy for little Liam. I smiled at the thought of his happy face and I started the engine, driving to his school. I parked the car and got out, locking it. I went went inside and walked down the corridors, looking for his class. When I found it, I looked through the little window on the door and sure enough the bell rang and the kids began to collect their books. I smiled at him and he waved.

"Hey there big guy!" I cooed hugging him. (in case you don't remember: Liam)

"Hey there big sis... Why are you crying?" He frowned. I closed my eyes and sighed heavily.

"I'm just tired, that's all" I said kissing his forehead and picking his Adventure Time backpack with one hand and holding his hand with the other. He stopped walking, making me halt too.

"You're sad" He stated with a frown. I smiled lightly and nodded. I knew I couldn't lie to him, and he knew that too.

"The boys back home want to talk to me about what happened when we were younger" I said, hoping he would be against it. You see, for a six year old boy, he's very smart and wise too. He's quite mature for his age, and he can take care of himself as well as an 11 year old would.

"Why don't you tell them?" He said. I stopped dead in my tracks. I looked down at him and his expression was blunt. I blinked and opened my mouth to say something but he beat me to it.

"You have to talk to people, you can't just keep it to yourself" He said before walking the rest of the way to the car. I unlocked it and placed him on his car seat, buckling him up. I got in, put on the seat belt and drove out of the school's parking lot. I drove to the mansion with only one thing in mind: Maybe it is time for me to talk to someone...

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