Under other conditions

She runs out of the mansion,not looking behind,ignoring her friend's pleas to stop.Ignoring the fat that multiple people are caring for her.She wants nothing more than hide somewhere noone could ever find her, but reality is a bitch.

She does not stop running until she feels a hard chest,making her fall to the floor

'Are you okay?' Niall asks her trying to help her up

'I DON'T NEED YOUR FUCKING HELP FOR JESUS SAKE!' She screams at him,starting his arm away

'All I wanted to do is to help you,because you are obviously not in the condition of doing anything on your own' He defends himself

'I don't need anyone's help.I don't need anyone's pity for me.All I need is a drink and a good fuck' She slurs,trying to stand confident and strong

'And maybe a burrito ' She whispers which soon changes into a wild giggling

'Ok even if you don't want be me to help you,at least let me take you home' He suggests,but she doesn't answer.Instead of answering she starts poking his cheek with her finger

'This apparently means yes ' He murmurs before getting her in his car


'You know what Niall?' She starts in the car,looking out of the window

' I am a bad bad person. ' She says, nodding her head

'You know why? ' She continues but he just shakes his head

' Because my boyfriend is dead and I am alive. ' She answers

'And you know what the worst thing is?' She asks innocently

'I actually don't even want to ' Says she before giggling again

' Why are you laughing? ' Niall asks her irritated

' Because it's everything I've left ' She says sarcastically

'This is not funny.It's not.It's sad.It is. Sad that a girl as beautiful and as intelligent as you talks so much bullshit.What the fuck Mary?! I know Hunter is dead.We all do know . But it is definitely not in his will for you to become so pathetic ' He says angrily


She remains quiet until the car finally stops.He didn't notice her tears.He didn't notice her crying.All he did was kicking a girl on the floor in the ribs.

'Thank you for the ride ' She says with a sore voice. A new lump forming in her throat as she exits his car .

' Mary I'm sor-'

' No it's okay Niall.I really needed this.' She fakes a smile at him

'No still.I was mad because you were talking so bad about yourself and -'

'Really,everything's fine.Goodnight Niall '

After she went to her apartment and changed her clothes she finally breaks down.
She hated crying. It made her feel weak.It made her feel annoying and it made her feel vulnerable.
She always knew how to hide her feelings until that night.

How was she supposed to do that without him ?

After fighting with herself she finally falls into a restless sleep

___________________________________________


The next morning she wakes up, immediately remembering how she behaved the night before.
She got drunk again. She had a fight with Barbara. She left Noelle and Janina alone. She screamed at Niall. She ignored Louis.

Normally today would be one of those days where she was just lazy, hanging around crying and eating, but after what Niall said to her, she was ready to move on. Not in a way, in which she just starts dating again but in a way in which she maybe can be her normal self again. How she used to be before that shit happend.


After taking a shower she dresses quickly in a pair of skinny jeans and his black NCIS sweater she leaves her flat on her way to her friend. The one who was there for her and who she fought with.

Standing before her door she gets nervous, thinking maybe she finally had enough
Mary already did shit like that. Multiple times. She always exaggerated it to a point where it became ridiculous. And Barbara always helped her. Mary promised her to never do that again yet she did it andit ended in a fight.

Then she finally opens the door

Notes