Clarity

After I had brushed my teeth with the minty toothpaste Harry's bathroom provided, I dried my mouth off on a hand towel, and walked back out to where Harry was still cuffed to the bed and panting softly.
Smirking slightly at the sight I walked over to the side of his bed, and rubbed his tummy sweetly. "You know, I think I'll leave you this way all night." I teased, placing a soft kiss on his forehead, and Harry groaned loudly as he tugged on the cuffs.
"Why?!" He whined, making me giggle, because he was cute when he whined. "Because then I can get away with everything!" I announced, finding that idea appealing as I scattered kisses over Harry's face, and he squirmed letting a giggle slip out of his swollen lips.
"You an arse but I love you." He sighed, looking up at me with those green eyes that had tints of fading black in them. Biting my lip I smiled softly, and brushed our noses together.
"Stealing my line again Styles?" I asked, and Harry grinned as he tilted his head back and kissed my nose. "Yeah! But I make it work. Now take these cuffs off." He demanded playfully, and I laughed as I reached up to pull off the cuffs.
I do admit I was a little nervous to take them off, because I didn't want Harry to toss me over his knee as he threatened earlier. "Now you can touch me." I said, tossing the cuffs aside, and Harry sat up wincing as he rubbed his red wrists.
"Damn those bloody things are a killer on the wrists." He grumbled, then looking at me, and I gave him an innocent shrug with one of my cute smiles.
Narrowing his eyes at me, he jumped up on his feet and grabbed my waist before I could protest prior to placing a sloppy kiss on my lips then kissing my nose.
"I want to take a bath with you!" He announced, bending his head down, and nuzzling it into my neck as he held me up against him. Well that was unexpected, I was expecting him to cuff me to the bed next then whip me or something.
Yet I wasn't to surprised because Harry was always unpredictable.
Shaking my head at him I kissed his chin, and rested my hands over his. "But what about the tattoo's?" I asked, envisioning the ink slipping off our skin, and staining the bath tub.
"I wear these plastic wraps everytime I get a new one, so it'll be okay." He assured, grabbing one of my hands, and pressing his lips to it which made me smile softly.
"Okay! Well then you stay here, I'll go set up the bath!" I announced, pulling my hand away, and standing up on my tipy toes so I could peck his lips. Smiling at my offer Harry cupped my cheek and stroked the apple of it with his thumb.
"Okay baby boo." He said, and I grabbed his hand so I could kiss his palm. "My not so little kitten!" I teased, letting go of his hand so I could pinch his cheeks before running into the bathroom.
Once I was in the bathroom I walked over to the tub, chuckling to myself at the sight of there being a bathtub, and a shower in the same restroom. Whistling softly I messed around with the handles until I found a comfortable temparature that I knew the both of us would like.
When this was done I took the plug that was floating around in building water, and plugged the bath prior to grabbing a bottle of body wash, and dumping half of it into the water to create bubbles.
What good was a bath with out bubbles? Soon I was finished setting up the bath, and I stuck my head out of the bathroom to call Harry who was laying on the bed with his face nuzzled into the pillow.
"C'mon Harry!" I called out, then disappearing back into the bathroom to strip out of my shorts so I could slip into the warm water of the steaming bath. I do admit the plastic wasn't a hundered percent comfortable, but as long as it protected my tattoo's I was good.
I couldn't believe I had tattoo's, the concept was going to take some time to concept. Harry then came strolling into the bathroom, a lazy smile on his face as he stopped near the tub, and leaned down to kiss my head.
"Scoot up boo!" He cooed, gesturing for me to move, but I shook my head as I spread my legs.
"Your getting the cuddles today not me." I informed, gesturing for him to sit inbetween them, and Harry smiled with the shake of his head as he slipped into the water, and sat down inbetween them prior to laying back on my chest.
I don't know why, but I felt like babying Harry today to make up for all the times he babied me.
"Your to sweet to me baby." He sighed, and I smiled as I wrapped my arms around him, and rested my chin on his head. "That's because I love you." I informed, nuzzling my face into his curls, and Harry's smile grew wider.
"I've waited twenty three years for someone like you, and it was worth every second." He whispered, grabbing my hand, and kissing the diamond of my engagement ring which made me hug his long frame tightly with both my arms, and legs.
"I love you so much Harry." I whispered, inhaling the delicious scent of my fiance's hair before letting out a deep sigh as he laced his fingers through mine.
"I love you so much more Louis." He whispered back, pulling my arm across his chest prior to kissing it, and I smiled I slouched down slightly so I could relax in the water.
Harry was a better remedy for that though, he always made me feel calm, and every other pleasent emotion the human body could produce. Even though we've had our moments, our hard times, he was my favorite drug.
At that I thought I let my mind drift into thoughts of America, and felt my stomach bubble with excitement. I was eager to get away from Doncaster for a little, to have a break from all the anxiety Gemma, Carson, and everyone was causing us.
The both of needed a break desparately. Being in America I was sure opened up the oppertunity for that. "I can't wait to go to America." I then said, deciding to share my thoughts with Harry, and he looked up at me with a wide grin.
"Your gonna love it!" He assured, making the bubbles in my stomach grow. "What exactly will we be doing there? Besides you buying Victoria Secret?" I asked, sitting back as I began to rake my fingers through Harry's curls gently to remove the knots.
"Cuddle and stuff. Maybe do some sight seeing." He said, then grabbed my wrists so he could pull my arms tighter around him. "I like being in here with you." He sighed.
"I love cuddling with you. Your warm." I chuckled, running my hands up and down Harry's stomach and chest, and he looked up at me biting his lip. "Handsome." He said, making my heart flutter.
"Curly fry." I giggled, and rested my hand over Harry's big scar which made his breath hitch as one of his hands flew over mine. "Be careful. Tell me when your gonna touch them." He said quietly, biting his lip harshly, and moved my hand back as I frowned.
"Why sweetheart?" I asked, confused because he had never had a problem with me touching his scars before. "Just tell me when your going to." He sighed, still looking up at me, and my frown deepened as I kissed the tip of his nose.
"Okay pumpkin, but why? Does it hurt?" I asked, feeling my stomach twist with worry I might've accidently hurt him. Harry shook his head though, releasing his lip from the grasp of his teeth.
"I just wanna know I get kinda-" He then bit his lip again. "It's hard to explain. Your the only one I've ever let touch them." He said, sounded defeated, and I sighed deeply understanding what he was trying to say even though he didn't say it.
"I understand baby, but just remember everytime I touch them I'm trying to show that I won't ever hurt you." I said quietly, my eyes drifting to the scarring cuts on his thighs, and I squeezed my eyes shut tightly before reopening them.
If I ever had see another cut on him again I was indefinately going to be sick. "I know you'd never hurt me Loubear. Like I said it's hard to explain." Harry said, twisting his body and laying his head on my chest before grabbing my hand, and kissing the ring again.
"I love you okay?" He said, even though it wasn't nessicary. "I know you do kitten, and I love you to. More then words can say." I said sweetly, wrapping my arms tightly around him, and kissing his head.
I needed to give him assurence, I needed to tell him I was there, because I could tell by his tone he was nervous I had taken his words the wrong way.
"Can you do me a favor?" I inquired, resting my cheek on his head, and Harry kissed my chest. "Depends." He said simply, running his fingertips up, and down my arm. "It's just a simple promise." I assured, smiling at his gesture.
"Tell me." He whispered, curiousity appearing in his tone as he looked up at me with those big green eyes that reminded me of cat eyes.
Innocent, but dangerous.
Taking a softly breath I then sat up straight.
"Will you promise me that the next time you feel like harming yourself you come to me? Can you promise me that next time you feel weak you'll come to me? Can you promise me that if you ever need a hug you'll come to me? Can you promise me if you ever feel like taking your anger out on something then you'll do it to me in the playroom? Can you promise me that from this point on you'll let me the one who gives the cuddles, kisses, and presents? Can you promise me that you'll put your needs before my own? Because hell Harry I think your well being is more importent then mine ever could be!" I said truthfully, biting my lip harshly when I finished stating my request.
Harry was quiet then, not making eye contact with me as he played with my fingers, soon a sigh slipped from his lips. "Those are things I can never promise Louis, I'm sorry." He said quietly, still restraining his eye contact, and I grabbed his chin so I could tilt it back gently.
''Please Harry. Please. I can't handle you getting hurt anymore." I begged slipping my hand on his cheek. I needed reassurance he wasn't going to do it again, that he knew I really love him, that he was getting better, and that I could help him.
"Louis I can't ever hurt you, and I'm okay as long as your in my life." He said, placing a hand over mine, and I let out a frustrated sigh as I cupped his cheek.
It wasn't a difficult promise to make, it was very simple, yet Harry rejected it as if I had asked him to blow up a school, or posin the Queen.
Deciding to let the subkect drop before it turned into an argument, I reached over, and grabbed the shampoo off the floor prior to pouring some in my hand so I could wash his hair.
"I'm sorry Louis, please don't be mad." He pleaded, his whole body tensing, and untensing underneath my touch while I shook my head.
"I'm not mad just a bit overwhelmed." I admitted as I massaged the sweet smelling soap into Harry's scalp, and he nodded with a sigh.
"I want to give you everything." He informed, making me sigh as well. "And I just wanna take you away from everything that might hurt you." I whispered bitterly, the thought of anyone hurting my Harry appauling.
"Louis I'll be okay as long as your in my life." He said, lifting his hand up to my face to run his finger tips over my features, and I grabbed it with soapy hands so I could nuzzle my face against it.
"I hope that's true, and even if it wasn't I'd still do anything to ensure your happiness."
"All I need is you. My heart is your token."
I then smiled as he tilted his head back with puckered lips, and I gave his lips a brief kiss. "Your the milk to my tea." I said, using one of my dramatic voices, and Harry giggled.
"I love you Louis." He said, still looking up at me as he puckered his lip again, and I giggled myself as I pecked his lips once more. "J'atime Harry." I said, trying to use my best french accent, and Harry laughed.
"J'atime my tasty Louis." He said back, using a French accent as well, and I scrunched my nose. "Are we French men now?" I asked, moving my hands away from him so I could rinse them off in the water then wrap them back around him.
At that Harry smirked, resting his hands over my wrists with one of those naughty glints in his eye. "No your my naughty student slash fiance!" He informed, and I pulled my hands away from him once more so I could pinch his cheeks.
"You taught me to be naughty."
"That I did." He confirmed, then grabbing my face so he could press a kiss to my lips, and I nipped the middle of his nose when he pulled away. "Harry?" I then said, and my love smiled with a radiant expression that held adoration.
"Yes my lovely?" He asked, and I scooped some soap off his hair with my fingers.
"You still have soap in your hair." I informed, giggling and making a soap mustache on myself which made Harry giggle as he turned over in the water so he was laying ontop of me, our chests pressed together tightly as he laid his forehead on mine.
"I'm not the jealous type but what's mine is mine. End of story." He said, wiping off my mustache before pecking my lips, and I swatted him away as I stuck out my tongue.
"I'm your's, yet you have to share me." I informed, pressing my lips to his throat, and then the bottom of chin. At my actions Harry's breathing altered, and he pulled away from me before twisting his body back around so his back was pressed agaisnt my chest once more.
"Mr. Tomlinson I'm making a new rule." He informed, and I nodded as I leaned down and pressed my lips to the side of his neck. "Which is?" I inquired, and Harry's disposition changed to a dominent stance.
"My rule is, you kiss my neck or bite my lip I don't care where we are, get ready cause I'm going to fuck you hard." He growled lowly, and I felt my breath hitch as I pulled my lips away from his neck.
Even though Harry's words had an effect on me I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of knowing it.
"I reject your rule." I announced, running my fingers over his damp skin, and Harry smirked. "Then you shall be punished." He informed, cupping his hands to gather some water prior to throwing it in my face.
At that I gasp as I wiped at my eyes.
"Oh yeah?" I asked, then resting my hands on the top of his head, and dunking him under the water. Yes it was a mean thing to do, but I didn't care, because he got water in my bloody eyes.
With in seconds Harry shot back up with wide eyes and water droplets dripping from his soapy hair. At the sight of him I snickered, and immediately Harry reacted by grabbing my member gently, and pulling me towards him so he could grab the back of my neck.
"Want to try that again sweetheart?" He growled with a husky voice, the sound of the words matching his eyes. I couldn't help, but moan softly though even though I found his reaction irrational.
"You started it." I whimpered, my hands flying to his biceps to grip them, and Harry tightened his grip slightly.
"I suggest you don't do that again, or I won't make love to you. I'll fuck you. Hard, and repeatedly, purposely making you beg for more." He warned, making my breath hitch. Harry then released my body from his hold as he stood up, and climbed out of the hug.
There were many things in life I knew exactly how to react to, but Harry's reaction to me dunking him left me stunned to silence as uninnocent thoughts settled in my mind.
By the time I had processed the words to say Harry had wrapped a towel around his waist, and was exiting the bath room with a solem look.
"Two words, anger management!" I shouted after him, huffing as I sunk down in the water up to my chin, and I heard him laugh from the other room as he opened, and shut his dresser draws.
For the next few minutes I listened to him moving around the room, closing things, zipping things up, grunting when he dropped something, it seemed as if he was cleaning up our mess.
After that the bedroom was quiet, so I naturally assumed he had left to go get a drink or some food. I wasn't sure how long I stayed in the warm water, but I do know it was relaxing to soak in the steamy bath, and completely empty my mind from upsetting thoughts.
Then once I felt like I looked enough like a prune, I grabbed the shampoo, and body wash prior to scrubbing myself squeaky clean
. Once I had done this I pulled the plug, and jumped out of the tub into the cool air prior to grabbing one of the towel off of the many racks in the bathroom.
When I had it securely around my waist I wandered over to the mirror, and grabbed Harry's comb so I could get any tangles out of my wet hair. My hair had really grown long, it was completely covering my ears now, and went just a wee bit pass my forehead.
It gave me a younger appearance, a more innocent appearance as my mum once put it. I was thinking about getting it cut, but I wasn't sure since Harry seemed to love tugging on the thick strands of it.
Somewhere in the mist of me combing my hair I heard Harry moving around the bedroom again, and I decided to slave him around by asking him to give me an outfit.
"Hey kitten, can you get me some clothes?" I called out to which Harry responded with a muffled 'yeah'. By the time I was putting the comb down Harry stumbled into the bathroom with one of his dark colored t-shirts, and a pair of my boxers.
"Here Loubear!" He said, holding it out for me to take, and I did but not before standing on my tipy toes to give him a peck on the lips. "Thank you kitten." I said, placing the clothes on the counter, and Harry gave me a devish grin.
"Stay in here until I tell you to come out." He informed, and I nodded in understanding. "Okay, but your going to have to give me a proper kiss." I said, dead seriously as I turned to look at him with a small smirk while crossing my arms over my chest.
"I'll give you a big kitten kiss, but only if you stay in here!" Harry said, waggling his finger as he slipped out of the bathroom, and shut the door behind him as the doorbell rang.
Once he had done this I grabbed the warm clothes, and quickly changed into them before drying my hair with my towel then digging my phone out of my shorts, so I could respond to Shailene who was inquiring when we were taking part to America.
There was still nothing from Marcus.
Then, just as I sent the last of my responses, I caught the smell of what I believed to be apple pie, and pizza.
I swear with in a moment I could feel my stomach growl loudly at the thought of having that for dinner.
I really hope Maddie made some.
"Louis c'mere!" Harry then called, knocking on the door, and I slipped my phone into the waistband of my boxers. "Coming!" I called, running over to the door, and opening it prior to Harry stepping in.
"Hello Harryyyyy..." I cooed, and he smiled as he ruffled my wet hair.
"Baby c'mere." He said, wrapping his arms around my waist, and squeezing my thighs to gesture for me to jump up. Once I had wrapped my legs around his waist, and buried my head into his neck Harry laughed whilst gripping my bum.
"I like you in just a t-shirt and boxers." He informed, and I rolled my eyes as I kissed the crook of his neck. "And even though I wanna be your protector I still like it when you hold me." I admitted, then resting my chin on his shoulder as I inhaled the sweet smell of food deeply.
There's goes my poor tummy again. "I love it when your in my arms." Harry chuckled, kissing my head as he walked into the bedroom, and I inhaled the sweet smells once more.
Only then did I notice he had dimmed the lights in the room, and set up candles everywhere that gave the vicinity a redish glow and was producing the smell of the apples. If the smell was coming form here then that must mean-
"Please be pizza, please be pizza." I begged, slipping a hand in his hair to run my fingers through his wet curls, and Harry chuckled as he sat down on the bed, craddling me in his lap.
"There may, or may not be two jumbo pies behind me." He said causually, and my eyes widden as I caught sight of the boxes behind him containing my favorite food. Never before had I seen pies so big, or boxes so big.
"Unhand me!" I shouted, squirming out of Harry's grip, and climbing over him before grabbing a box and resting it in my lap as I tore it open greedily, and grabbed a slice prior to taking a large bite out of it.
At my actions Harry laughed, and sat next to me as he kissed my head. "Well then! I guess you don't want cuddles." He pouted, and I nodded with my cheeks puffed out from stuffing my face like a slob.
"We can cuddle when I'm done." I said inbetween chewing, swallowing quickly before taking another large bite.
"Don't eat all of it! I'm hungry to. Your not the only one who hasn't eaten all day." Harry huffed, grabbing the box from me, but I narrowed my eyes at him as I grabbed the other box and geld it out for him to take.
At that Harry rolled his eyes as he took it, and rested it in his lap. "Pizza monkey." He grumbled, popping it open, and pulling out a slice. "Curly fry." I fired back, reaching for my second slice with a growling stomach.
"Louis Tomlinson! Call me a fry one more time and you get no kisses." Harry warned, snatching my box of pizza from me, and immediately I sat up on my knee's reaching for it as Harry held it above my head.
"Harry.." I whined, pursing my lips in determination, and Harry shook his head at me with a smile. "Louis Tomlinson I do all of this, and all you want is pizza. You can wait now." He informed, and I pouted as I laid down in defeat, and covered my face with a pillow.
"I hate you." I teased, making Harry immediately grow quiet. "Louis please don't say that." He said softly, placing the box down on the end table with a soft thump, and I peeked out at him from underneath the pillow.
"I was only kidding Harry. I'd never hate you because you rejected me my favorite food!" I informed, then placing the pillow under my head as I held open my arms for Harry to come cuddle, not nessicarily feeling hungry anymore.
"I know baby." He sighed, giving me a slight smile. "It just bugs me, even if you were kidding." He admitted, then laying down, and crawling in my arms so I could wrap my arms tightly around him.
"Thank you for setting this is all up. The kindness never seems to end with you." I said gratefully, kissing his forehead prior to grabbing his paper airplance neck with my thumb and finger so I could run my finger tip over the inscription.
"I love you sweet cakes." I said assuringly, and Harry body relaxed as he grabbed my hand, and began to press soft kisses to my fingertips.
"I love you to baby boo, and I'll always try to make you feel like a king, like you should be. Living in a golden castle, drowning in jewels, having everything you want. I wanna give you all that. I wanna make your dreams come true. You make me wanna be good."
Once he had said this Harry dug his head into my chest, and I felt my heart skip at a beat at his sweet words. I really didn't deserve all that. Biting my lip at the thought of it I rest my chin on his head, and began to rub his back.
"And I always want to make you feel like my not so little prince. I want to see you smile everyday. I want things to get better each day. I want to give you every little thing that would make you beam. I'll try to never fight with you because I don't think your tears are worth it. I know I've made some mistakes in this relationship, and I'm sorry from the bottom of my heart. I swear from this moment on I'll do only what's best you, and put your needs ahead of mine." I promised, begining to trace a heart on his back while I looked off at one of the candles, and Harry fisted my shirt lightly as he wrapped his arms around my torso in a protective hold.
"My only wish is for us to be free, and get married then have kids. That's all I want Louis. I don't want anyone to judge us, I just want to be free." He whispered, then looking at me with a desparate expression, and I looked down at him before kissing his nose.
"We will be someday, and quite honestly I think it could be starting. After that beating you gave Carson I highly doubt he'll pull anything, I think Gemma is bored of the two of us, your dad is completely out of your life, and we don't have to go back to the school. Well at least you don't have to. We can just enjoy our trip to America where I highly doubt we'll have any problems." I assured as I bit my lip softly, and smiled at Harry which earned me a peck on the lips.
"I wanna get married when your done with school for the year." He informed, pressing his lips my chin as I smiled.
"You know where I wanna kiss you?" He then mumbled against me skin, and I shrugged. "Where?" I asked, my heart fluttering at the thought of marrying him once I finished school for the air.
"In front of our families, in a church, where we say I do." He said softly, then cupping my cheeks to pull my face down to his so he could kiss me softly, and immediately I felt tears prickle in the corner of my eyes as I tightened my grip on Harry's waist, and kissing him back slowly, and sweetly.
The romance never seemed to die with Harry, with each word he said he made it so much better. As I kissed him Harry rubbed my cheeks with his thumbs as our lips molded in the perfect way they always do, and I couldn't help but smile into the kiss.
"I love you, I love you, I love you." I whispered inbetween each touch of our lips, and Harry pulled back slowly, and pressed our foreheads together.
"I love you Louis William Tomlinson, and I literally cannot wait for the day I get to call you Mr. Styles." He breathed, and I brushed my lips over his softly. "I can hardly wait either." I whispered, looking him straight in the eye.
I swear it was rare I felt strong emotion, but looking into his breath taking irisis' made my soul burn passionately with love that was only produced by him. Just looking at this beautiful man made my breathing become uneven.
I didn't deserve him, no one deserved Harry.
No one was good enough for him.
Not even me.
"If William Shakespere was still alive I think he'd make a hit out of us only with a happy ending." I said, pressing my lips to his nose, and Harry smiled as he tilted back his head, and kissed my forehead.
"Just to say I love you never seems to be enough. I've said it so many times. I'm afraid you won't really understand what I really mean when I say it. How can so much adoration possibly fit into those three little words? But until finding a better way then saying 'I love you' it will have to do. So no matter how many times I say it never take it lightly, for you are my life, and only love. I love more within this moment then ever before." Harry whispered, and I rested my lips on the tip of his nose as I looked at him with a shy expression.
It was unbelievable the way this boy used his words.
"I think just the way you look me I can tell how much you care about me, how much you love me, how much you just want to melt into my arms. Sometimes words aren't nessicary just your pure silence, and bright eyes say it all. I just wrap you up, kiss your lips, and make you feel wanted. I want to make you feel more wanted, and needed then oxygen."
I then sighed softly with an aching heart from how much adoration I was feeling for Mr. Styles.
"I'm begining to fall harder, and harder each day, and slowly believe that I knew deep down inside you were the one the moment I first laid eyes on you." I admitted just above a whisper as I then nuzzled my face into his neck, and Harry wrapped his arms tightly around me with a ragged breath.
"I love you." I said truthfully, and Harry merely smiled as he buried his face in my damp hair, and held me close.
"I use to purposely annoy you in class because I found it a turn on you know. I've liked you from the begining, but most of the time I did want you to step on a lego, because your a twat." Harry teased, pulling his face out of my hair, and I scoffed as I looked up at him.
"Well I use to purposely annoy you because I found it funny that you had such a short temper, and would blow a gasket it I breathed the wrong way!" I informed, begining to rub his back once more, and Harry laughed as he kissed my nose.
"I love you baby boy." Harry said, and I took a gentle breath.
"I love you to kitten."

Notes