It was dark. All dark. Absolutely no light and I didn’t have a clue of where to find some. I was searching and searching, but everywhere I stumbled I was alone wrapped up in nothing.
I do remember the light though. I remember that I at one time had experienced its embrace on my own body and mind. The light was amazing, which is more than you could say about my suffocating blindness in here now.

I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream. I wanted to run. But no matter what I did, what I thought or what I felt it was pushed aside by the dark before I even got a chance to fulfill any of it. Except for crying – that I was capable of. The tears made the dark blurry and less intimidating, and so I kept crying noticing it become weaker and weaker by the blurriness. Tear after tear that I forced out of my canthus the suffocating feeling loosened its grip on me more and more.
Suddenly the dark changed color into a lighter one. And lighter than that. And again lighter than that. Once my surroundings reached a peach color it stopped.

I knew what this was – it was consciousness.


My eye lids felt like they had been glued together, I wasn’t strong enough to open them. I felt myself move and hear myself make noises that sounded a bit like small whines. But I quickly stopped, cause it hurt. Everything hurt like hell. It felt like every part of my body had been cut half way through but not all the way so that I at least would feel nothing.


I suddenly managed to lift my left eye lid that opened up to the light that I’d been longing for for what seemed like ages. But it was bright – way too bright, so I immediately closed my eye again.

After a few more minutes of convincing myself that it was worth trying to face the light again I lifted the left eye lid again. Jesus, even the light hurt!


But my stubbornness was luckily stronger than the pains in my body and head and after a few seconds I got used to the light on the other side of my eyes. I then opened the right one, experiencing the same pain all over again and this time I couldn’t stop myself from making a little whine again.

After what seemed like several hours my eyes had gotten used to the light and I noticed that I was looking up in to a white ceiling. I was lying down and looking up, so far so good. I turned my head around and knew that I was in lying in a bed on a hospital.


I turned my head down to see if I could find any reasons for all these pains on my body and at one brief second I was scared that I didn’t have one. But luckily I did and I breathed a huge sigh of relief.


On the left side of the bed there was a head of blond hair. And a face that I recognized. Niall looked like he had fallen asleep in a chair resting his head next to my thigh. His hand held mine that had multiple things that looked like wires in it. I looked around the room to see Em sleeping in another chair and Liam on a small sofa right next to her.


Suddenly I felt the hand in mine tighten its grip as Niall must have noticed my small movements.

He looked up at me with red eyes that indicated a long time without sleeping – he almost looked worse than when I’d met him at Dirty Dicks last Saturday. But… what day was it today? What on Earth had happened?! Where was I?


“Maja?” Niall said looking like he didn’t believe what he saw. “Are you awake?”

“Yes,” I said with a voice so raspy that it was mostly just a whisper.

“Oh my God,” he exclaimed while jumping up from his chair to come closer to my face. He immediately pulled a red string probably to call a nurse. “How do you feel?” He kept touching my face and forehead like if was in fever.

“That hurts,” I said feeling completely exhausted for each word I had to say out loud.

“Oh God, I’m sorry,” he then said with a concerned expression on his face. He looked like he was going out of his mind, so I forced a few more words over my lips.

“Niall, relax.” After that I could almost fall asleep again but then the nurse came in.

“Well hello there, Maja. Finally awake I see?” she said smiling kindly.


I didn’t bother trying to talk anymore so I just looked at her with a confused face.

“You’ve been unconscious for more than two days now. Today’s Friday and it’s…” She quickly looked at her wrist watch, “… eight o’clock in the evening.”



“Maja?” Em’s tired voice suddenly asked from across the room. “Maja!” she then squealed and ran to my bed. “Oh God!” She immediately burst in to tears holding my other hand against her cheek.

“Don’t… cry…” I managed to whisper.

“I’m sorry, I just… I can’t help it, you have no idea how scared we’ve been! I’ve been crying almost the entire time, but I guess I’ve just not finished yet,” she sobbed.

“Then…” I began but then had to take a break before continuing with a couple of curios eyes staring at me. “Let it rain.”


It was supposed to be a joke and brighten her mood, but instead she cried even harder.

“Sssh, Em. Just relax,” Liam said rubbing her back – her sobbing must’ve wakened him up too. “Hi Maja.”

I tried to form a vague smile on my lips and I think I did pretty good, since he smiled as well.


“I’m going to tell to the doctor that you’re awake and then he will check on you soon,” the nurse said and left the room.

“Does it hurt?” Em asked through her small sobs. Nodding right now seemed a thousand times easier than to speak so that’s what I ended up doing.

“Of course it hurts,” Liam said. “If I had been bogged down by a car, destroyed my knee, broken multiple ribs and gotten that bad a concussion I wouldn’t do anything but scream.”

“Screaming hurts,” I just said even though I was in complete chock of what he’d just told me. I instantly looked down as much as I could to see my left leg being wrapped up in plaster.


She really did try her best to try to calm herself down but Em just kept sobbing and crying harder and harder every time she looked at my probably very poor and weak face.

Niall just sat next to the bed staring at me and holding my hand.

“You don’t…” he began and I turned my head towards him. “You don’t look very well. Quite awful actually.”

“So do you,” I said and looked in to his eyes that were just as red and swollen as Em’s. The three of them all laughed at my attempt to be a bit funny despite my pathetic condition.

“I’m have to go to the toilet, I’ll be right back,” Em said and left the room rubbing her eyes, probably trying to make the tears stop running out of them any available second.



A few minutes later the door flew open and Harry walked in with several white plastic bags that had the words My Old Place written on them.

“Hi guys, I brought us some proper food, hope you’re hungry cause I bought…” he said while putting down the plastic bags on a small table next to the short sofa, but stopped talking when he saw me looking at him. “You’re awake.”

He ran, just like Em had done it, over to my bed and practically pushed poor Liam to the side and took my hand. “I… I… Fuck! How do you feel?” He stared at me with eyes that h was in the same condition as Niall and Em’s.


I didn’t even bother answering that question right now thinking that it was a complete waste of time and energy. He looked like he knew why I just looked at him with a tired face.

And then he started crying as well, a bit less hard than Em though which was a huge relief to me. He just sat there while silent tears flooded out of his eyes.

“I’m so sorry,” he said after taking a deep breath.

Again I used my method of just looking at him confused instead of saying anything.

“If I hadn’t pulled you out on that crazy street you wouldn’t be lying here with all these pains,” he answered to my questioning face.

I shook my head. “I’m. Clumsy,” I whispered, but now he also shook his.

“No, I was in idiot…” he began.

“And those girls… were scary,” I interrupted. Niall and Liam both smiled at my innocent words but Harry still looked like he hated himself more than anything else.

“I’m so sorry,” he repeated while tugging on my hand.

“Don’t be,” I said.

“The rest are on their way, Zayn and Perrie are picking Aida up from work, she couldn’t get off before half past seven,” Liam suddenly said.


I nodded and closed my tired eye lids for a few seconds to rest. I think I fell asleep again cause when I woke up again is was to the sound of people coming in. I slowly opened my eyes again to see who it was. Aida was the first one to glance over at me a few times to see if I really was awake.



“Jesus!” she yelled and came over to lightly brush my cheek with her hand. “I’ve been so worried!”


Eleanor, Louis, Zayn and Perrie turned up right behind her. “We brought you some chocolate,” Louis said and put a couple of Kinder Buenos at the night stand next to my bed. “Aida said this was your favorite.”

“And more flowers,” Zayn said and put a vase of flowers next to the chocolate bars. Suddenly I noticed several others standing around the room. Perrie followed my glance and answered my question before I had to say anything.

“Zayn’s made it his job to make sure that you’re never out of fresh flowers,” she said smiling.
I sent him the widest smile I could manage at that point.

“You’re the best friends in the world,” I said already feeling a bit stronger in my voice. Eleanor smiled her as always incredibly kind smile and came over to me at the other side of the bed and brushed my hair.

“It really was rather scary, what happened the other day,” she said. “I understand that you reacted the way you did when you saw those girls – just a shame that it was in the middle of the street.”

We all chuckled a bit, except for me – it hurt like hell to use my abs.


“All right, we need to give her some peace for a minute, she’s in pain,” Harry said from behind them. “Come over here guys, I have bought us dinner.” He started pulling out some paper boxes form the bags as he smiled in my direction. I mouthed a “thank you” back to him.


People went over to him and sat down different places with some food.

“Want any?” Harry asked me but I shook my head not feeling hungry at all and I didn’t bother wasting any energy on trying to eat.

“Good to see you,” he then said turning towards Aida while handing her some of the Chinese food, before… was it… yeah it was… Oh my God!

Normally I would go crazy at the sight of this, but I had frustratingly enough no energy left to react properly on the fact that he’d just kissed her lips.


“Wha!” was the happiest noise I could manage so kind of squeal out loud and all the people in the room looked at me a bit confused.

“What is it?!” Niall exclaimed concerned.

“You guys… Just kissed,” I said and spent the last amount of energy left in my entire body to lift my hand and point my finger at Harry and Aida. “What the fuck…” I then sighed while letting my hand fall again feeling and probably also sounding very tired.

They all laughed loudly at my hopeless attempt to try to be excited for my friends as I felt my eyelids slowly close again. Right before I drifted off to sleep again I heard Niall refuse to eat, since he didn’t think that he should let go of my hand.




Something hurt. Everything hurt. I quickly opened my eyes discovering that the bright light wasn’t as bright anymore since there were only a few of the small lamps around the room lighting up it up. Outside on the other side of the window it was now completely dark. I saw Niall sleeping resting his head against the bed as he’d done it when I’d awoke the first time. Aida and Harry where wrapped in each other’s arms at the small sofa sleeping and I couldn’t help but notice a light snore coming from him. Louis sat in the chair next to them with his eyes closed, while Eleanor had gotten the big armchair in the corner of the room.


I wanted to smile at the sight of all the friends that worried about me actually feeling very touched, but my chest hurt too much. It felt like someone had dropped a huge rock on it before jumping all over my bruised body. A tear came out of my eye as I tried to reach for the red string to call for some help. But it was way out my reach.

I felt so sorry when I felt Niall moving around a bit and then look up at me, I didn’t want to wake him up, since he was probably already way behind in terms of sleeping.


“Maja, what is it?” he asked with a thick voice as he heard my heavy breathing.

“The… red… string… now,” I heaved. He flew up from his chair and did as I told him.

“It’s going to be all right,” he said brushing my head with his other hand.


The rest of the people around the room started to look up from their light and uncomfortable sleep and rubbed their eyes.


“What’s happening?” Harry’s raspy voice said.

“I think she’s in pain,” Niall said not letting his eyes loose me out of sight at any point. Louis got up from his chair, he was probably the one that had gotten the worst chance to fall asleep when you looked at the tiny chair that he’d been sitting up in. He opened the door and looked out in the hall.

“Don’t worry, a nurse is on the way,” he said and turned back towards the bed. “Just relax, Maja.”


I felt the sweat drifting down my forehead and back wetting the sheets. I alternately closed my eyes tightly and opened them widely not capable of screaming. Breathing became more and more difficult and I looked at Niall desperately, who didn’t look as calm now as he’d done a few seconds later.


“What’s wrong?” a nurse asked walking towards.

“She…” Harry began but stopped when he heard my pathetic excuse for a voice trying to express something.

“Can’t… breath…” was the only words I managed to pull off between my struggling with the chest.

“I’m going to get the doctor!” she just said after taking one quick glance at me and then running out the door.


Aida and Harry rushed over to me with distraught faces while Louis tried to calm Eleanor down by rubbing her back as the tears started forming in her eyes.


The last thing I remember before everything went blurry was Niall’s blue eyes.

Notes

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