Dreaming about London

Aida and I started cheering and jumping around with our hands in the air singing ”What Makes You Beautiful” at the top of our voices.


“Jesus girls, you’re so embarrassing!” Em said while trying to cover her red cheeks. We didn’t stop until we heard a phone buzz and we both immediately ran towards Em to see if she’d gotten a text message from Liam – it was.


“Miss you already,” Aida read out loud and she and I looked at Em to see her looking genuine happy. Riht there we stopped fooling around and just took a minute to enjoy her happiness.


“Man, I’m happy for you,” Aida then said and I nodded agreeing. We did our little group hug that made Em smile even more. In situations like this I couldn’t help but feel incredibly lucky to have two friends as close to me as these two girls were. And to see them happy was more than any friend could ever ask for.



I came home feeling happy as well. Until I saw that there was no one in the kitchen.


I spent the rest of my day eating like a pig – my family had had a cake yesterday and had left a terribly amount of leftovers. I hated that when I for once was doing just the slightest bit better than normal, something unexpected would turn and then I would fuck it all up. Cause that’s what I do – fuck up. It’s so god damn easy to fuck up. And weak persons like me often choose the easy way, instead of trying to make yourself better.


I can’t improve, I can’t change. I will never stop being a bulimic, cause I’m apparently not willing to change. Tomorrow I would try the medication, but not now. Right now I enjoyed hating myself for another couple of hours.


And then, despite having spent some amazing days with amazing friends, I ended up going to bed feeling like shit anyway.

But what actually makes me so mad with myself isn’t only the awful and disgusting things I’m doing to my body and mind, but it’s the fact that all I ever think about is me. What I do, how I act, how I feel about the things I do and the way I act, how I feel about what I feel.
I hate myself for being so awfully selfish.



Having to go to work the following day didn’t help on my mood at all, especially not when I received a message from Niall saying: “We’re leaving on Wednesday early morning. Any change that I get to see you before then?”

I quickly wrote back: “Of course! Tomorrow?”

He almost immediately answered: “Tomorrow’s great! We still haven’t been on that date yet…”

“You’re right. You really disappoint me, Niall.”

“I know, I’m sorry. Can you forgive me?”

“Don’t know. Make me forgive you.”

“Dinner tomorrow night?”

“It’s a date!”


I was already feeling better and looking forward to see him, though I at the same time felt a bit sad that he would be leaving so soon.


But all in all I ended feeling pretty okay when I went to bed to sleep that Sunday night, despite of endless binges at work.



The next morning it was completely different. I now felt… nervous. I didn’t know why, cause I was getting used to Niall’s company, but yet I still acted restless. I decided to go for a run to calm my nerves and make me feel better for what I’d done at work the day before.


That only helped until I got out of the shower. I tried to keep my mind occupied by shaving my legs, putting moisturizer on them, plug my eyebrows, blow dry my hair upside down as I would always do, painting my toe nails with a beautiful deep red color. I tried maybe ten different outfits that all ended in complete disasters, but in the end I decided on a black dress that was a bit tight.


But then that didn’t matter when I received a message from Niall saying that I should meet him at the jetty at 7 o’clock. My black dress just didn’t go with the jetty.


I was going out of my mind so I called Aida, also known as the best stylist in the world.


“Hello,” she said and I immediately exclaimed:

“Okay, so Niall says that I should meet him for dinner at the jetty at 7 o’clock, I’ve tried everything in my closet, what the hell am I going to do?!”

“Wow wow wow, relax there sister!” she then said to calm my down. It didn’t help yet, I was still breathing like a dog in heat. “What about that floral dress?”

“No I wore that last week when we made the birthday cake together,” I quickly said feeling more and more desperate.

“Okay, then wear uhm… that light blue dress that looks a bit like denim. With the dark blue All Stars and your watch.”

I thought about for a second. “Ok I’ll do that, thank you so much, love you!”

“No problem,” she said laughing a bit.


I put on the dress and the shoes. It actually looked quite nice and relaxed, I didn’t even have to wear a bra cause it fitted snuggly over my breast and made them look very nice for once.

It did some waves in my hair with a flat iron to give some more volume and just a light makeup before I headed towards the beach.



As I got closer I suddenly became very nervous that I would be a bit underdressed but that fear went away as soon as I saw Niall wait for me at the end of the jetty wearing an open white shirt with rolled-up sleeves over a white tank top and a pair of worn out denim shorts. He looked amazing.


“Hello gorgeous,” he said and I blushed like hell without knowing what to say back so I just ended saying: “Hi Niall.”



I opened my eyes widely when I saw what he’d prepared. At the end of the jetty a big soft crème colored blanket was spread out and on it were two pillows to sit on, plates, big wine glasses and a basket, hopefully filled with food, I thought as I just realized then how hungry I was.


“Wow, this looks amazing!” I exclaimed and then I turned to him. “You are amazing!”

He smiled and before I managed to control myself I had wrapped my arms around his neck and placed a kiss on his soft lips – they tasted like red wine.


We sat down and he started pulling out food.

“Uhm, what’s that smell?” I asked moving closer to the basket.

“Fajitas,” he said smiling proudly.

“Yay! I seriously can’t believe you’ve made all this!”

“No actually, Harry helped me cooking. You’ve seen me in a kitchen, it’s quite dangerous.”

I laughed before digging in to the delicious looking food.

“Someone’s feeling hungry,” Niall said when he saw how I immediately had eaten almost half of my first one with the filling hanging out of my mouth. I choked on a piece of chicken by his comment, knowing that I must look terrible. I could’ve slapped myself.

“Oops, sorry,” I said once I’d finished swallowing. “I haven’t ate very much today. And I’ve never been on a date before.” I tried to make up an excuse for my behavior. Luckily he smiled and said: “Well, I’ve never cooked for any girl before.”

I looked up at him with a smile. Why was he so adorable?



We sat and ate, talked, laughed and drank red wine for a couple of hours, looking at the beautiful sunset over the sea. It had started to get a bit cold, but Niall had brought and extra blanket that he wrapped around us as I snuggled in under his arm.

We kept on talking and talking until it was completely dark. The sky was clear and many stars were now visible. I leaned my head up against his shoulder saying: “This is such a beautiful night. Definitely the best date I’ve been on.”

He looked down at me and chuckled. “Well thanks, Maja, I try. I try.” I smiled as well.

“I’m going to miss you,” he then suddenly said. I could feel him still looking at me so I looked up at him and said:

“I’m going to miss you too.”

None of us were smiling. He lightly brushed my cheek with his hand before kissing me. I could feel a bit of sadness in the kiss, it was so gentle and soft and tender. We kissed like that for many minutes without any of us wanting to deepen the kiss. It just felt so simple and amazing. Just like Niall. It was a real Niall-kiss. And I could never get enough of those.



We got inside a while later where the house was dark and quiet.


“The others must have gone to bed,” he whispered and led me upstairs to his room.

“Do you have one of your lovely t-shirts that I may borrow?”­ I asked him and he nodded smiling in the dark. When he handed me one I turned around with my back towards him and took off my dress, before I managed to put on his t-shirt I felt a couple of hands on my shoulders that gave my goose bumps all over my body. Then my hair was moved to the side while light and soft kissed were placed on my neck and shoulders. I couldn’t help but let out a quiet moan and closing my eyes in pleasure.

He turned me around, cupped my face in hands and looking me straight in to my eyes through the dark before he kissed me again. I enjoyed every second, every touch, every kiss. He pushed me towards the bed and lied down on top of me. I loved feeling the weight and warmth coming from his body.

His kisses travelled down from my mouth, to my neck, to my breasts.

“I’ve been struggling not to stare at these all night,” he moaned with a deep voice that really turned me on and I immediately arched my back to press myself against his touch. He lightly bit my nipple while holding on to my back to keep me close to him, and I had to bite down hard on my lip in order not to let too loud of a moan.

I pulled off his t-shirt and our lips met again. I grabbed on to his back feeling the muscles tense by every move he made, I wanted him to keep going, to keep moving, but when his hand travelled down to my panties I stopped it, and he looked at me. I looked in to his eyes and just shook my head.

Luckily he smiled. He then turned us over so that I was on top of him. I kissed his chest that I loved so much and I felt like moving on from the soft and tender action, so I suddenly slid my tongue in his mouth, while slowly grinding up and down outside his bulge underneath the denim shorts.

He roughly grabbed on to my butt and looked at me with a frustrated look. Frustrated that he had to resist. I loved the effect my movements had on him when I felt him grab my hair as well, and I couldn’t help but moan in his mouth. He moaned as well as his hand slapped my ass.




I woke up by something moving behind me. Niall was awake as I felt him smell my back. I was only wearing my panties but him spooning me made me feel warm and good. I snuggled in closer to him and quickly started to feel a bulge against my lower back. I turned around to face him and he was smiling at me.

“Hello,” he said with that raspy and deep morning voice that I loved the sound of.

“Morning,” I replied still feeling a bit sleepy.

“Sorry about that,” he then added looking down under the covers, and I instantly knew what he was referring to. “It just happens all the time at the moment.”

I smiled widely and pecked him on his lips. “Last night was amazing. Thank you.” I couldn’t tell him that enough times.

“So I thought…” he began, “that maybe we could invite Em and Aida over for dinner tonight. You know, since it’s our last night here in Denmark.”

“That sounds great! They’ll love that! I can call them,” I said smiling at the thought of us all being together. It was going to be absolutely perfect.




We got dressed and went downstairs to find Liam, Harry, Louis and Eleanor in the kitchen.

“Good morning!” Harry said cheerfully. “Did you have a good time last night?” He winked at me, I just rolled my eyes at him.

“Last night was great,” Niall answered. “We watched the most beautiful sunset.”

“Hey guys,” he then added. “Shouldn’t we invite Em and Aida over for dinner tonight?”

They all nodded, Liam very vigorously.

“The Last Supper,” was all that Harry replied. God, he was such a dork. But he could always make me smile with his incredibly stupid comments.

“So should we make?” Eleanor asked. “Maja, what do you think?” She had turned towards me.

“Uhm… no fish, cause Aida doesn’t like that,” I began while going through my mind for a great recipe. “Well. How do you feel about Spaghetti Carbonara?”

“Love that Italian!” Niall exclaimed.

“But let’s use turkey bacon then, cause Aida doesn’t eat pork either,” Harry said and suddenly looked a bit embarrassed like he’d spoke too soon. I winked the same way at him as he’d done it at me minutes before.



And so I went grocery shopping with Eleanor after breakfast. Both Em and Aida were looking forward to tonight, and Em also asked what to wear, I guess she was thinking about Liam.

As Eleanor and I walked towards the supermarket we talked about all kinds of stuff.

“So how are you feeling you know… about all this fame and so on?” I couldn’t help but ask her.

“Well, it’s tuff not to have almost any privacy at all, which I personally like in a relationship, so sometimes that can be really hard to cope with. But I mean, if you find that the guy is worth it, then there’s pretty much nothing to consider," she immediately answered.

“You guys love each other a lot, don’t you?” I asked with admiration and she nodded smiling.

“Very much,” she said.

“I just look at you two and think that that’s the kind of relationship I hope to find someday.”

“Oh come on!” she suddenly exclaimed and I looked at her frightened.

“Oh I’m so sorry…” I began, thinking that I might have crossed some sort of line.

“No I mean, I’ve seen the way Niall looks at you. It’s completely different,” she said.

“How’s so?” I asked being extremely curious about what she had to tell me.

“Well first of all he has never really introduced us to any girl that he’s been with, probably because none of them were more than a flirt. But he likes you. It’s obvious.”

I blushed like hell thinking about Niall’s cute face and person. “Uhm… thanks,” was all I could say.

“It’s quite funny,” she then began, “I remember Harry having this kind of conversation with me when Louis and I started dating.”

“Really? What did he tell you then?” I asked.

“Pretty much the same thing that I just told you. That he could tell that Louis liked me. And look where we are now.” She smiled proudly and I laughed. What a kind friend she seemed to be, I thought to myself as we entered the store.

Notes

Hi guys, sorry for not updating, I've had a couple of busy days, but here is another chapter and tomorrow you will get the last one of the year of 2013! Hope you like it xx