Beatrice's point of view

My head hurt. Fuck. I opened my eyes to find a familiar green pair already staring down at me. The corner of his lips curled up in a smile, “hey.”

I opened my mouth to reply but a weak groan left my lips instead, “shh, darling s’okay.” He brushed strands of hair away from face and helped me sit up. I rested my back against the headboard and shut my eyes, “here,” Harry murmured wrapping my hands around a warm mug. “Drink up. I’m going to get you some paracetamol, okay?”

I nodded, Harry’s green gaze dropped to my face, and his eyes found mine, an undecipherable emotion flickered in his jade orbs. Then he leaned over and pressed a gentle kiss on the top of my head.

As Harry’s footsteps faded away, I turned my head to check the time on Harry’s night stand. 12:34 PM. I’d missed school again. Shit. Not only that, I had made Harry miss school. Again. “Why the sad face?” I turned to face the source of the voice.

Gemma was leaning on the door frame her arms crossed over her chest. Despite the playful tone in her voice, her face was pulled in a frown, and her eyes, eerily similar to Harry’s inspecting, every inch of my face from distance.

“It’s nothing,” I replied forcing my lips to curl upwards in a smile.

"Uh-huh." Gemma mumbled, "he won't tell me anything either," she said vaguely pointing in the direction Harry left. I let out an involuntary sigh of relief, "but I'm not a fool, Tris. Honestly, what the hell is going on?”

I shrugged, turning to face the window. “I’m fine Gemma, shouldn’t you be at uni anyway?” I asked, without looking at her. I bought the mug to my lips, letting out a soft moan as the burning liquid warmed my stomach.

“Shouldn’t you be at school?” Gemma snapped, she bit her lip, then gathered me in her arms, “I’m sorry. I’m just worried, alright. Harry and you, both, have been acting so weird. He wasn’t at home all night, he came back a couple hours ago, and you look like you’re about to die.”

I sent a quiet thank you to Harry, he hadn’t told anyone what had happened last night. “We got out early from school,” I told her shortly, the lie coming out easily.

“Alright,” Gemma nodded, yet her gaze was skeptical, her eyes wary. “I’m always a phone call away. And you were right, I have to leave for uni. But let me know if you need anything. At all.” She placed a quick kiss on my cheek, before getting up. “Love you, Tris.”

I waved to her, before leaning on the headboard. I squeezed my eyes shut and pressed my palm to my forehead.

“Here,” Harry whispered, he placed to tablets on my palm, and handed me a glass of water. Once I placed the glass back on the nightstand, he settled beside me on the bed. With a flick of his finger he motioned for me to place my head on his lap. I did as asked, his fingers weaved through my hair, gently. His palms pressed my head occasionally.

“Remember when you were young, you shone like the sun.” His soft, whispery voice sounded quietly. He ran his fingers down the length of my hair, “shine on you crazy diamond.” I turned around to face him, green eyes stared down at me with the tenderest of expressions, that broke my heart in the most beautiful of ways, “now there’s a look in your eyes, like black holes in the sky.”

His warm fingers gently traced my lips, sending a shiver up my spine, and my eyes involuntarily fluttered. “Shine on you crazy diamond.” His thumb flicked over my lips, making me shiver, a wild desire ignited within me. “You were caught in the crossfire of childhood and stardom,” his fingers splayed over my cheek, his hot breath falling on my lips, his sweet scent clouding my thoughts, and vision. He rubbed his thumb over my lips, so painfully slow. My breathing hitched, I pressed my thighs together as a pleasant pain formed at my core.

This was new, this was wrong.

But my mind had a will of its own, my back arched, as a moan left my lips. My nails dug into his shoulder, my heart beating unevenly against my chest. “Harry,” a breathy laugh left my lips, my fingers twisted the collar of his shirt, his warm breath fanned my face, his eyes were dilated. And then, ever so slowly his lips skimmed mine, in a feathery light touch. A soft whimper escaped my throat, I pulled his face closer with a tug on his shirt.

His arm went around my back, and the other pulled me on his lap in one swift motion. And with another soft pull, he brought my lips on his. My hand curled around his neck, as I tilted my head, warmth formed in my stomach, the pain between my thighs increasing with every passing second. I locked my ankles around his waist. His lips moving over mine gently, his fingers slipped under the loose top I wore. He rubbed circles on my back, leaving a burning trail everywhere he touched. His hot tongue traced my lips, and a muffled moan escaped them. I pressed myself closer to him, feeling his hardened member against my core. My fingers curled around his hair, tugging, and pulling. I rubbed myself against him, his hands stopped at my sides. I pulled away to see his face flushed, “Beatrice,” he said quietly.

“Shit. Sorry. Fuck. “ The events hit me, and embarrassment colored my cheeks, and fury for what I had done. Whore, my subconscious whispered, in my mother’s voice. I squeezed my eyes shut, and a painful knot formed in my throat, it wouldn’t go away no matter how hard I tried. Tears formed in my eyes, Harry. Harry would think I was a slut, the thought inflicted more pain upon me then I could fathom.

I tried to pull myself off Harry’s lap, with a weak push at his shoulders, yet his strong hands held me in place. I couldn’t stay here. I needed to get out. Harry gently pulled me towards him, his arms wrapped around me in a comforting embrace. One around my waist, while the other was buried in my hair. His strong scent filled my senses, familiar, and comforting. And home.

A tear slipped through my closed eyes, I swiped it with the back of my hand before he would notice. “I’m sorry, kitten.” He murmured rubbing his hands up and down my spine. “I just haven’t done this before,” his confession was in a whisper, yet I heard it clearly. My breathing hitched for a moment, my brain taking a moment to process what he said, and then despite the mood a smile slipped across my face.

“Harry,” I asked lifting my head off his shoulder. Beautiful, stunning green eyes refused to look at me. His head was hung low, his hair covered his sharp, masculine features. Yet I could see his fair skin tinted with pink. A giggle left my lips, and I could see his dimples deepening, “Oh God! And here I thought you were Casanova.” Harry gave me a gentle push, but the bubbling laughter wouldn’t stop, “Honestly Harry? You’ve never had sex?” I asked in disbelief.

A mock expression of anger placed upon his features, yet when the word, “no,” slipped out of his mouth, I howled in laughter once again, pinching his scarlet cheeks. His fingers came to my sides, and before I knew it I couldn’t breathe as he tickled me mercilessly, I thrashed my legs, and futilely tried to smack his hands away. My stomach clenched in pain due to the laughter that left my lips, my throat was hoarse, and tears of joy slipped through my eyes.

“Stop!” I heaved finally, pushing my lower lip into a pout, which was almost impossible considering the fits of laughter that left my lips. “Sr-Seriously, Harry. I’m sorry.”

My eyes fluttered closed, and a deep breath left my mouth as Harry’s relentless tickling paused. Bright jade eyes stared at me, with child-like amusement when my eyes met his. Dimples indented into his cheeks, he looked happy.

“You’re so mean,” I whined, pressing my palms to his chest, trying to push him away.

“Made you laugh,” he pointed out tongue-in-cheek, “that’s all that matters,” his voice was solemn. Tears involuntarily filled my eyes, I caught my lower lip between my teeth, and a strange warmth engulfed my heart. Harry came closer, pressing his warm, soft lips to my cheek. “Alright, love, you get some sleep. I need to go for practice. Coach is going to kick me out if I miss another day.”

A pang of guilt shot through me, Harry, perhaps, noticing my expression brought my palm into his, “Hey its not your fault. And I never said I didn’t enjoy the past few days, yeah?” Harry’s fingers squeezed mine, and he brushed a kiss along my knuckles. My heart lurched painfully, and tears clogged my throat, for the fiftieth time that day. I had been nothing but a bitch to him the past few days. Harry got off the bed, pushing me down. He brought the covers to my chest, and tucked me in, his lips pressing to my forehead once again. “We’ll talk when I get home, alright?”

I nodded, my lip caught between my teeth with so much pressure that it almost felt numb. Words refused to leave my mouth, because if I spoke I knew my words would be a blubbering, crying mess. Harry’s eyes met mine once again, a soft smile playing across his lips, before he turned away completely.

“Harry?”

“Hm?” He turned around.

“Thank you.” But I knew that wasn’t enough. It never could be.

“S’okay, love. Sleep.” He said quietly, his green eyes glistened in the dark, an undecipherable emotion danced along the planes of his face. His curls pushed back, pink lips pressed together, an angular jaw. He was undeniably beautiful, but the one thing that mattered the most was that beautiful soul of his. A heart of gold, so pure, I didn’t know how he could even bear look at me. Because I knew I wasn’t even worthy of his hatred.

Notes

Hey. I, honestly don't even know what to say. Probably, I'm really, really sorry? I know that doesn't suffice. School has been kicking my butt, 10th grade ain't fun, especially of you take all Honors/AP classes. And I completely understand if you guys unsubscribe or something, because I suck. It's really hard for me to manage school, sports, and writing for fun. But because I love writing, I'm not going to give up on it. I appreciate everyone who sticks by me, but I understand if you guys want to stop reading.

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