Never In a Million Years (Zayn Malik)

It's been 2 weeks since Zayn left here for his tour,he would call me every day at least once or i would,but mostly him since i don't know when to call him because of his schedule.
After i was known to the world,everything got a little harder if i'm being honest,at school almost every girl would be a total bitch towards me and every guy would either flirt with me or straight on tell me they want.......things.and their line most of the time would be 'hey i know your boyfriend is not in town right now,just wanted to tell you if you need some one to satisfy your needs,just know i'm always free'.
CAN YOU BELIEVE THE NERVES OF THESE GUYS!
these people are nothing but sick minded people.i feel disgusted with them.
this goes on not only at school but with everything else,i go out with waliyha it's like we're in a damn photo shoot,the only thing i hear is the paps yelling or the sound of their cameras,and the only thing i see is the bright white light of their flashes,i couldn't even go to school!
now i know what were Simon and Zayn talking about.
Waliyha tries to cheer me up,saying that its just a matter of time until their bored and go their own way.and everything will be back to the way it was.
but i don't think that'll happen.
right now i'm walking back to home from school wearing this ridiculously big sunglasses and have a hoodie on not trying to run in to some girl who would recognize me and either glare at me and say something to make me hate myself,or they would hug me and beg me to give them one of the guys hair to them if i have it,or their under wear,or their sandwich,or the tissue they used while sneezing,or Zayns used cigaret or cigaret box,or some other shit i have no idea why they want them.
i reached my house stopping my thought's about being Zayns girlfriend,i walked up to the door opening it with my own keys since no one was home,i walked in silently thanking god that it was friday,meaning no school tomorrow,2 more weeks give or take a few days until christmas,until zayn will come back.
he calls me everyday mostly right now,when i get home from school,like he has a tracker on me.i walked upstair knowing my phone would be ringing any minute now,i went to the bathroom to freshen up and i took a shower to take the tiredness away from my body,after i was done i changed in to something more comfortable and looked at my clock,
wow,1 hour has already passed.
i couldn't help but think why zayn hasn't called.he should've called by now.he usually does.
i'm probably over reacting,i mean he must be busy.and i shouldn't be so worked up over this.it's normal.
but i couldn't help feeling this bad feeling.like i knew something bad is going to happen.
i shook the thought out of my head and decided i should do some home work and get my mind of Zayn.
so i did.i did all of my homework for monday and didn't think of zayn once.at least tried.
after i was done i looked at the clock noticing it was 7.i get home around 2 that means 5 hours has passed and zayn hasn't called yet.maybe i should call him.i did before so why am i so nervous about it?
maybe because i got used to him calling me,or maybe because i'm afraid he's in the middle of some concert or an interview and i don't want to interrupt him.
but he would put his phone on silent or he would turn it off so it won't hurt calling now would it?
i looked at the clock calculating in my head knowing it was about 10:30 or something in the city they were in.he wouldn't be sleep now would he?
i went to my contacts and opened Zayns number.i was fighting with myself to call him or not.i don't want to be like one of those clingy girlfriends who demand to know where their boyfriends are every second of the day,but we hadn't talked all day so it wont matter.
i finally tapped his number listening to the beeps coming every 3 to 4 seconds.finally some one answered the phone,but no one said anything,it was just shuffling and after a couple of seconds i heard a sleepy girls voice say:
"hello?"
i had to look at the ID one more time to make sure i called the right number,i said:
"uhm,is Zayn there?"
there was silence on the other line for a few seconds like the girl was thinking and she answered in the same sleepy voice:
"tall guy,dark hair in a quiff,hazel eyes,tattoos?"
that sounds right:
"yeah that's him"
"well,he spent the night in my bed if you know what i mean(she chuckled slightly and continued)and it seems like he forgot his phone here,if you find him,tell him his phone is with me"
i didn't answer too shocked to answer,i just opened my mouth but nothing came out.after a couple of seconds the girl said:
"hello?you still there?"
i just hung up the phone,not knowing what to do any more.suddenly i had this notification telling me i had a new email,i would've ignore it because i felt like i was about to have a panic attack,thinking how could he?didn't he have the guts to tell me himself?couldn't he tell me at first before leading me on?how big of a monster is he?
but maybe it isn't what i think it is,maybe i'm judging to soon,yeah that's it.i should wait until he explains to me himself.
but the slight glance at my phone caught my attention,the title in bold saying:
"Malik Seen With Edwards,Does This Mean He's Over King?"
just what i needed,i clicked on the link and it took me to another page full of zayn behind a glass kissing another girl like he was dragging her life out of her,i looked through the pictures,not knowing tears slipping from my eyes more an more after every single picture.at the end there was a picture of us on our first date.sitting behind a table eating ice cream.with this title under it:
"Who Do You Ship?Zaynable?or Zerrie?"
i felt everything coming crashing down on me,he cheated on me,with no one but Perrie,his own ex who cheated on him.
i didn't do anything,unlike what i thought i would do when i thought about finding out if Zayn ever cheated on me,i thought i would be crying,screaming and shouting at zayn,fighting with him,i thought i would be devastated.
but none of that happened,i just sat there looking at my screen noticing i stopped crying a long time a go,there were these thoughts going through my mind.none like me,none like what a girl like me always thinks,they were different,they were hopeless,grey,like i knew it was going to happen all along,i even thought why bother?i knew this was going to happen,i knew this wasn't going any where,i knew it was hopeless,well he had his needs,i didn't give him what he wanted so he found it some where else.
i turned off my phone and turned my lights off walking towards my bed getting under the covers emotionless,numb.
i didn't even bother thinking about zayn,i wasn't stupid to go back to him,there's no way ever something will work between us,we're both from 2 completely different worlds.i know i should be happy that i didn't have an emotional break down because of this.but it wasn't like me,i felt......dead.like i didn't care,but the Annabelle i knew would be calling Zayn finding out this whole thing,but i just simply didn't care.it was like,i lost every hope i had in every guy,or in this case Zayn.i even lost my trust in him.knowing there's no way he could regain it.
so it made me scared.
what has happened to me?why am i thinking this way?
is it because of Zayn?

Notes

yeah sorry,....crappy.
i'm kinda losing hope in this story since i think it's turning crappy and every chapter is getting shorter and shorter.i know where i want to take this story,i just don't know if it's worth it or not?
tell me if i should continue or not?seriously,the only reason i write is for you,i just need to know there are people actually liking this story or not?and sorry for the late updates....schools a bitch,also i have basketball practices and Music lessons.so....yeah busy life.thank you for reading my story.it means a lot
With Love
/
Anoosha