"A road trip?"

Harry set his barbell down and rested his hands on his waist as he caught his breath.

"Yeah! I've been thinking about it … a lot. I've got it all planned out actually. I can get the days off from work and since I've taken a couple of Jessica and Rachel's shifts, they can cover mine. Plus I don't think Trisha would object to it."

Harry's mind started to drift as he was processing my idea.

"Go on, I'm interested."

"I received a lot of graduation money from my family back in Spain and you said this was your last week of work so…it's perfect! With your big move only a month away, what better way to spend some time together than a summer road trip to New Orleans?" I said too enthusiastic.

"Wow, you did put a lot of thought in to this…What did your parents say? Have you asked them?"

"Umm…that's the only problem. I don't think they would let me go knowing it was just the two of us…so I might have to come up with something." I said sheepishly.

His face disagreed. He set back the barbell and threw a towel around his neck. Standing in front of me he grabbed both my hands.

"I love the idea…I just don't know about the whole lying to your parents thing. I know you want to spend more time together, believe me so do I…I just don't want you to get in trouble."

"So you don't want to spend a whole week staying in the same room every night and going to Jazz clubs at whatever hour we wanted?" I encouraged.

"When did you become such a temptress?" He laughed. "Of course I do!"

"I'll take care of my parents. You just make sure you're packed. I'm thinking next Monday, so that gives us a couple of days."

"Yes mam; I'll check for reservations."

"I already found a great package deal at a bed and breakfast a couple of streets away from the French Square."

"Okay…" he chuckled. "You did all the work already. You better not have paid for anything!" he warned.

"I had to pay half online to get the offer."

"Okay, but that's it!"

"It's my trip, my treat. You can help with what you want," I implied.

Truth is I planned this trip because I seriously believed I was love sick. Maybe because Harry was the first guy I opened my heart to, provoking in me insanely strong feelings. I didn't know exactly what changes were happening in me.

I couldn't explain it, nor did I understand it; those words "ravish you" rang through my head all that night, the next day, then the next week and now a month later still. I was being brainwashed by a record playing over and over again. It affected my appetite, my thoughts and my sleep. Speaking of which I had been having the strangest most sensual dreams I had ever experienced. I almost believed Harry had truly cast a hex on me.

Several nights in a row I had these sexual dreams, they were so realistic, causing me to question had they genuinely happened or not. Some went back to that first time we hung out at my house alone, prom night, the time I went to his apartment and even a night in his new apartment he didn't even have yet. Even my subconscious was obsessed while my body was warning me that I would like it too much.

I didn't understand the term he once expressed "fuel the fire" until now. I thought that everyone had the simple choice of stopping all at once, like if you had to stop running or slam on the brakes; that seemed easy enough. But it wasn't an action you could merely cease from. Once enraptured by this "fire" it would naturally take its course. My concern was making sure my conscience could with stand such heat.

I wasn't about to give in, no matter how much I wanted to. Though nowadays I worried about how much longer I could stick to my word; many times giving in looked like the more satisfying option. My reasons behind my decision grew weaker as my flesh and inquiring mind grew savage.

---

It took some time for it to sink in that I was no longer in high school. I was excited to start college, but in no hurry. What new liberties would this bring? 18 and graduated into the world I knew nothing about. I didn't even know what I felt passionate about to study, other than Harry. It led me to worry, hadn't Harry come along what would I be doing with my time right now, what life making choices?

I had no answers, so consumed with this love craze. I barely knew myself anymore; I knew it was important to figure these things out and get on that "road to self- discovery" but not right now.

First I wanted to enjoy my summer with Harry while I could. How was I going to pull this road trip off with my parents? The only solution I could come up with was getting Trisha to help convince my parents. I had tunnel vision; I was going to New Orleans with Harry no matter what!

Still at the gym I struggled, making less eye contact when we were up close yet stalking him when I was at a reasonable distance. Seeing him shirtless was like staring at the most beautiful sculpture for the first time…I could stare for hours. And so did the girls nearby, pretending to concentrate on their own routines when clearly their eyes were groping him. I was glad that he was mine. All mine!


I waited till Thursday at work to speak with Trisha; she was the second coolest manager ever! Because she was now off the floor, they hired another new girl, Angie. Watching her do the different tasks, doubting if she was doing it correctly, triggered many memories for me and what that felt like. Now she was the youngest of the group, starting her senior year this fall.

In Trisha's office, I spoke about my plans in full details, because she always asks for excessive details. Her face grew more fascinated as though I were sharing the juiciest gossip ever. After I explained my tiny predicament regarding the cover story, she sat up immediately; the light bulb above her head beamed.

"That works out great! I was going on a couple of vacation days myself, to celebrate my 3 year anniversary with Liam; I have a feeling he just might pop the question! Anyway, we are going to stay at my Uncle's beach house in Tampa…So we can say that you are coming up there with me and my family. That sounds safe and boring enough; I think they'll buy it."

"Yeah…would you mind coming over tomorrow? They'll probably ask you a couple of questions." I cautioned.

Trisha was going to have friend of hers from another store location, even further than the one Harry was working at, come and cover her week. And as far as the rest of the girls, she rearranged their schedules to take my shifts.

Throughout the night I could feel Trisha's physical and mental nudges regarding my sneaky getaway with Harry. She most likely thought I was going to come back de-virginized. My initial reaction would be "No way!" Now my response was more delayed. And as much as I didn't want to keep feeding the idea, I did want to ask her something regarding the matter.

After work, I suggested that we swing by Marty's Pub, for a little chat. I've probably mentioned it before but I was so thankful for Trisha. Apart from my mom, who I seem to be telling less stuff to these days, she was my only close girl-friend.

We sat at a smaller table this time; I listened to her reasons of why she might get proposed to next week. I was happy for her, hoping she would come back engaged. The more I heard her talk about their plans for moving in together and the kind of wedding that she wanted; the more I was reminded why I wanted to wait to have sex.

I truly believed that I loved Harry, but suppose it didn't work out and we didn't end up together forever. I would have given him something so personal to me and he would be gone, unable to give it back or remember its true worth. That thought terrified me. Was I naïve to want to wait for marriage? Perhaps, yet it was a test; the man who could wait forever, could have me forever. Unless of course I was the one who couldn't wait; which was looking more like the case, as you can see I have a great struggle.

"Can I ask you something? And don't tease me or jump to conclusions it's just a question." I said already embarrassed.

"Shoot!"

"What was your first time like?"

"My fir… oh okay. Well I was pretty young and that I regret. He was so focused on the finishing goal he didn't care about all that went on in between. Needless to say that was a painful experience. But with Liam, our first time was amazing. He was the kindest and sweetest thing, constantly asking me how I was doing and what things I liked. I know it will be just as sweet for you and Harry. He's not rough natured at all."

"I'm not saying that I'm actually going to do it. I was just curious to know how it felt, the first time. Is it meant to be painful?"

"I see. No, well it depends really. It's not the most comfortable in the beginning but after a few times your body adapts and then becomes rather enjoyable. But some women don't feel that much pain, it all depends on how well a job your partner is doing…I know you are saving yourself and all, but do you honestly think a whole week away with Harry you won't go weak? I mean it's the perfect setting. Then again I think you are way stronger than me in that area."

Then it dawned on me, I got a thrill out of manipulating the situation. The possibility that it could happen excited me. Was that horrible and selfish or what? The bizarre part was that Harry knew and was okay with it. Did he think that I would eventually come around? All he did was what I asked of him, I on the other hand couldn't keep my hands and thoughts to myself. The result was every time he did touch me I felt indescribable sensations; there was no doubt my first time would be anything but painful.


Since school was out, my parents were at home more often. That meant any evidence of my New Orleans escapade had to be completely hidden; I couldn't afford any careless slip ups. I had already spoken to my parents about "it" and so far they didn't oppose to the idea, perhaps because there was no mention of Harry, what harm could that pose. They still preferred to ask Trisha some questions, but besides that it looked like my plan was a go.

After Trisha stopped by and answered every question accordingly, my parents agreed to let me go. Not that a week at the beach didn't sound like fun, but an inseparable week with Harry was hands down my ultimate choice. Now that I had that situation taken care of, I was dying inside waiting for Monday to come quickly.

I packed carefully. I wanted nice but casual clothes; something effortless yet appealing. The width of my grin encircled my head; this was really going to happen. My stomach swirled at the sound of a specific tune going off on my phone, meaning I had a text from a special someone.

I miss you, I hate not being able to see you at work anymore :( -Harry

I know; me too! Guess what, everything is squared away. You ready for our road trip? –Chloe

You will stop at nothing to get what you want huh? ;) I'm ready! –Harry

Me too! –Chloe

I think . . .

Notes