The Exchange
The Annual Christmas Party
December 23rd
Alyssa's Point of View
I promised Harry that when he left for Christmas break I'd hang out with our friends. I told him I'd go to the annual Christmas party they have every year and I told him I'd have fun. But it's day three into his departure and I have finished two books and slept in his bed a few times. I feel pathetic, knowing how much I apparently rely on him. Even when I'm pissed at him, his presence seems to make everything okay.
The clothes racks were practically empty from those who did shopping on time. Though I didn't have much shopping to do considering my parents buy all of the gifts for my siblings and write my name on the present, I still wanted to get something for Harry. Today I'm not shopping for him though, I'm shopping for me. It's the weirdest thing when my mom decides to include me when she takes my sisters out. I guess she feels bad because Marilyn isn't able to fly in and I do need a dress for this stupid party I have to go to.
"How about this one dear?" I tried not to show my disgust in the pink, puffy dress. It looks like a prom dress from the eighties and I'm not about to show up in something they'd disown me in.
I simply shook my head and flipped through the bare racks. The one's I did find cute were all too big or way out of my price range. I'm not paying for a dress that costs fifty dollars. Especially when that's its ‘on sale’ price.
"What about this?" I heard her excitement and thought, maybe, just maybe, it'd be cute. Sparkles just aren't my thing, "well you're being impossible Alyssa! I've showed you at least five dresses!"
I looked around to find three girls about my age staring at my mother and I. She knows how to make a scene.
"Can you just go look at the jewelry? I'll find a dress mom," she rolled her eyes and walked away. What wonderful mother-daughter bonding.
Kohl's has never been my favorite shopping department but it sure as hell beats the mall. The mall has so many shops I'm guaranteed to see at least five students from my school; and none of them like me. I heard a ding from my pocket and smile, knowing that only one person could be texting me.
From: Harry 10:33 am
Hi baby, I hope you're havin fun shopping w/ your mom. Im with some friends today but ill call you tomorrow morning. i love you
I took a deep breath before responding. I hate not being able to hear his voice.
To: Harry 10:35 am
Okay, love you too. have fun!
I threw my phone back in my bag and continued flipping around, going from rack to rack. I checked my watch a couple of times, the party starts at seven but Liam is picking me up at six-thirty. I need to hurry though; I'm so tired of hearing fucking Jingle Bells and Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer.
"Are you going with anyone special?" I looked to my mom as she drove carefully over the icy roads. The heat is just now warming up after ten minutes of driving yet I know it'll take another five to get where I like it.
"No mom, just friends."
"I thought Liam is picking you up," they still think we're a thing and the worst part is that they like him. I wonder if they'd like Harry and me together.
"Yeah, he is. I think we're just friends though."
"Well he's a nice boy; I think he's a keeper."
"Okay," I looked out the window waiting for the conversation to die down but she wouldn't have it. I've never talked to her about boys and if I did I would want it to be truthful.
"Then is there someone else? Another boy? You've seemed a little bit happy recently," I laughed as she spoke softly against the radio, "there is, isn't there?" even though I didn't look I could feel the grin tugging away at the corner of her lips.
"No, there's not," my tone told her to drop it and for the first time I was happy she stopped asking questions. I've always wanted to have the kind of relationship where I could tell her anything but that'll be in another life.
"You look nice," Liam said as he helped me put my coat on. Instead of arguing I took his compliment like Harry told me to do. He wants me to have fun and just relax.
"Thanks Liam. And thanks for picking me up, I didn't want to drive in this weather."
As we walked outside the snow continued falling against my jeep. It'd be covered by the time I got back tonight but it's okay, I wasn't planning on going anywhere. And I have a good excuse to stay in; Harry couldn't be mad.
We walked in and I immediately felt self-conscience as the rest of the group was wearing red and green while I wore a lacy blue dress. The heels were cute, being another version of lace but black. God this was a bad idea. I should've known; it is fucking Christmas Alyssa.
"Liam, I whispered as we got closer to the kitchen where Perrie and El were taking out cookies from the oven and the guys were joking about something, "I'm wearing blue."
"Yeah, blue looks good on you," he smile and squeezed my hand. Maybe he understands considering he's wearing plaid and khakis while the other guys are wearing suits and bow ties.
“You made it!” Perrie squealed as she ran over to me and jumped into my arms. A genuine smile plastered across my face. I feel accepted here at Perrie’s house with the people surrounding me.
“Yeah, thanks for the invite,” I handed Perrie the gag gift we’d be using later on in the night and followed her to the table where everyone was decorating cookies. Who knew they were so geeky like me? I thought I’d be walking into a disaster—drinking, loud music, truth or dare, and other uncomfortable activities. Instead I was greeted with the smell of a beautiful Christmas tree, freshly baked home-made cookies, soft original Christmas music, and lights galore.
After Perrie finished taking pictures of all of us she pulled out the champagne. We lounged around and watched A Christmas Story and opened the gag gifts. I ended up with a candy bikini. Maybe Harry and I could play with that later.
“Ready to go?” I looked to the watch Harry didn’t buy me. I lost it already and I’ve never been so devastated. Wow, midnight already?
“Yeah, that’d be great.”
Liam helped me up from being on my knees for so long and we said our goodbyes. He held his silly putty in one hand and mine in the other, preventing us from slipping. The drive back was fun as we spoke of the last few hours. I pulled out my phone to see if maybe Harry had texted me but no such luck. I guess it’s about five am where he is so he’s probably sleeping.
“Why don’t you check Facebook? You can see how his night went. I’m sure there are lots of pictures.” Liam’s a smart kid. I smiled and pulled up his page. Yes, there were many pictures. A few I really didn’t like, “are you okay? Tell me he wasn’t stupid.”
I tried to smile but instead a small tear traveled down my cheek.
“Alyssa?” Liam looked to me and then back to the road. I couldn’t really open my mouth very much. It honestly isn’t that bad, one girl sitting on his lap but he was clearly not paying attention as he held a beer and talked to who I’m guessing is Ed next to him. Another where he’s hugging someone and another with his arms wrapped around a very pretty brunette, reaching for his hat that she stole. He just looks so happy, like I don’t exist.
“Alyssa, talk to me,” Liam hands gripped to the steering wheel tighter, probably a little angry with--
“Liam look out!”
Swerve, screech, crash, lights out.
Alyssa's Point of View
I promised Harry that when he left for Christmas break I'd hang out with our friends. I told him I'd go to the annual Christmas party they have every year and I told him I'd have fun. But it's day three into his departure and I have finished two books and slept in his bed a few times. I feel pathetic, knowing how much I apparently rely on him. Even when I'm pissed at him, his presence seems to make everything okay.
The clothes racks were practically empty from those who did shopping on time. Though I didn't have much shopping to do considering my parents buy all of the gifts for my siblings and write my name on the present, I still wanted to get something for Harry. Today I'm not shopping for him though, I'm shopping for me. It's the weirdest thing when my mom decides to include me when she takes my sisters out. I guess she feels bad because Marilyn isn't able to fly in and I do need a dress for this stupid party I have to go to.
"How about this one dear?" I tried not to show my disgust in the pink, puffy dress. It looks like a prom dress from the eighties and I'm not about to show up in something they'd disown me in.
I simply shook my head and flipped through the bare racks. The one's I did find cute were all too big or way out of my price range. I'm not paying for a dress that costs fifty dollars. Especially when that's its ‘on sale’ price.
"What about this?" I heard her excitement and thought, maybe, just maybe, it'd be cute. Sparkles just aren't my thing, "well you're being impossible Alyssa! I've showed you at least five dresses!"
I looked around to find three girls about my age staring at my mother and I. She knows how to make a scene.
"Can you just go look at the jewelry? I'll find a dress mom," she rolled her eyes and walked away. What wonderful mother-daughter bonding.
Kohl's has never been my favorite shopping department but it sure as hell beats the mall. The mall has so many shops I'm guaranteed to see at least five students from my school; and none of them like me. I heard a ding from my pocket and smile, knowing that only one person could be texting me.
From: Harry 10:33 am
Hi baby, I hope you're havin fun shopping w/ your mom. Im with some friends today but ill call you tomorrow morning. i love you
I took a deep breath before responding. I hate not being able to hear his voice.
To: Harry 10:35 am
Okay, love you too. have fun!
I threw my phone back in my bag and continued flipping around, going from rack to rack. I checked my watch a couple of times, the party starts at seven but Liam is picking me up at six-thirty. I need to hurry though; I'm so tired of hearing fucking Jingle Bells and Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer.
"Are you going with anyone special?" I looked to my mom as she drove carefully over the icy roads. The heat is just now warming up after ten minutes of driving yet I know it'll take another five to get where I like it.
"No mom, just friends."
"I thought Liam is picking you up," they still think we're a thing and the worst part is that they like him. I wonder if they'd like Harry and me together.
"Yeah, he is. I think we're just friends though."
"Well he's a nice boy; I think he's a keeper."
"Okay," I looked out the window waiting for the conversation to die down but she wouldn't have it. I've never talked to her about boys and if I did I would want it to be truthful.
"Then is there someone else? Another boy? You've seemed a little bit happy recently," I laughed as she spoke softly against the radio, "there is, isn't there?" even though I didn't look I could feel the grin tugging away at the corner of her lips.
"No, there's not," my tone told her to drop it and for the first time I was happy she stopped asking questions. I've always wanted to have the kind of relationship where I could tell her anything but that'll be in another life.
"You look nice," Liam said as he helped me put my coat on. Instead of arguing I took his compliment like Harry told me to do. He wants me to have fun and just relax.
"Thanks Liam. And thanks for picking me up, I didn't want to drive in this weather."
As we walked outside the snow continued falling against my jeep. It'd be covered by the time I got back tonight but it's okay, I wasn't planning on going anywhere. And I have a good excuse to stay in; Harry couldn't be mad.
We walked in and I immediately felt self-conscience as the rest of the group was wearing red and green while I wore a lacy blue dress. The heels were cute, being another version of lace but black. God this was a bad idea. I should've known; it is fucking Christmas Alyssa.
"Liam, I whispered as we got closer to the kitchen where Perrie and El were taking out cookies from the oven and the guys were joking about something, "I'm wearing blue."
"Yeah, blue looks good on you," he smile and squeezed my hand. Maybe he understands considering he's wearing plaid and khakis while the other guys are wearing suits and bow ties.
“You made it!” Perrie squealed as she ran over to me and jumped into my arms. A genuine smile plastered across my face. I feel accepted here at Perrie’s house with the people surrounding me.
“Yeah, thanks for the invite,” I handed Perrie the gag gift we’d be using later on in the night and followed her to the table where everyone was decorating cookies. Who knew they were so geeky like me? I thought I’d be walking into a disaster—drinking, loud music, truth or dare, and other uncomfortable activities. Instead I was greeted with the smell of a beautiful Christmas tree, freshly baked home-made cookies, soft original Christmas music, and lights galore.
After Perrie finished taking pictures of all of us she pulled out the champagne. We lounged around and watched A Christmas Story and opened the gag gifts. I ended up with a candy bikini. Maybe Harry and I could play with that later.
“Ready to go?” I looked to the watch Harry didn’t buy me. I lost it already and I’ve never been so devastated. Wow, midnight already?
“Yeah, that’d be great.”
Liam helped me up from being on my knees for so long and we said our goodbyes. He held his silly putty in one hand and mine in the other, preventing us from slipping. The drive back was fun as we spoke of the last few hours. I pulled out my phone to see if maybe Harry had texted me but no such luck. I guess it’s about five am where he is so he’s probably sleeping.
“Why don’t you check Facebook? You can see how his night went. I’m sure there are lots of pictures.” Liam’s a smart kid. I smiled and pulled up his page. Yes, there were many pictures. A few I really didn’t like, “are you okay? Tell me he wasn’t stupid.”
I tried to smile but instead a small tear traveled down my cheek.
“Alyssa?” Liam looked to me and then back to the road. I couldn’t really open my mouth very much. It honestly isn’t that bad, one girl sitting on his lap but he was clearly not paying attention as he held a beer and talked to who I’m guessing is Ed next to him. Another where he’s hugging someone and another with his arms wrapped around a very pretty brunette, reaching for his hat that she stole. He just looks so happy, like I don’t exist.
“Alyssa, talk to me,” Liam hands gripped to the steering wheel tighter, probably a little angry with--
“Liam look out!”
Swerve, screech, crash, lights out.
Notes
Uh-oh...
@Hannah!
I'm not sure yet! I'll have to see where it goes because it will be a little different.
5/26/15