Through The Dark(Niall Horan)
The next few days were filled with traveling, press and a lot of damage control thanks to me. Management was not pleased with our little clubbing incident. I felt bad about all of the trouble I was causing Niall, but at the same time I would give anything to go back to that night. I had forgotten about all of my problems, I couldn't feel anything. That was something I could get used to, feeling numb.
The last few months had begun to eat at me the last few days. All of the fights, the beatings, the bruises, they haunted my dreams. Every time I closed my eyes I could see Jim's face. The anger in his eyes was enough to keep me awake for days. I was pretty good at hiding my emotions, I didn't like to let people see me cry. I was always the strong one, never letting anyone know I was hurting. Which is probably why I waited so long to tell anyone about what was going on at home.
When we got to the next city we were staying in for a few days, I asked Niall if I could get a separate room from him. It took some begging, but he agreed on a joint room. Meaning he could barge in whenever he wanted. I was grateful for everything Niall was doing for me, and I know he's just being a protective best friend but I really just wanted some time alone.
I brought my bags, that I finally had thanks to Niall into my room and plopped down on the bed.
Niall brought my last bag into the room. “You forgot this.” He smiled a bit.
I turned to look at him. “Oh, thanks.” I gave him a small smile. “Thanks for getting us separate rooms..”
Niall nodded, but pointed to the door. “I'll be right there if you need me.”
“Well, I'm gonna take a nap so if you could just stay in your room or whatever that would be appreciated..” I loved sleep, I hated being awoken from a nice sleep. I was kind of a bitch if you pushed the right buttons.
Niall knew that, so he nodded in agreement and walked towards his room. “Sweet dreams, Teagan.”
I chuckled to myself, knowing I hadn't slept in days. I waited until I heard the connecting door click and I made my way over to the mini fridge in the room. I pulled out a few of the little bottles of alcohol and mixed myself a drink. I took the tiny bottle of vodka and swallowed it in one gulp. My throat was burning, but I didn't care. I walked over to the bed, drink in hand and sat down.
The room started to spin as I sipped on the drink. Yes it was working, just what I wanted. To feel absolutely nothing. Before I knew it, my cup was empty. I was starting to get that tingly feeling that I loved. I got up and made another drink. Slurping it down quickly. I fumbled with my iPod and stuck an earbud in each of my ears, laying on my back and putting my three thousand songs on shuffle and letting everything fade to black.
I didn't know how long I was out for, but it was dark outside. If Niall had come into the room, I didn't remember. I pulled my headphones from my ears and swung my legs over the edge of the bed, stumbling to find my way to the bathroom. I flicked the light on and groaned. Pros to drinking? I could sleep. Cons? Hangover.
I undressed and stepped into the shower. The water burned, but it felt good. I stood under the water, slowly sobering up, my thoughts started to consume me. What if they came looking for me? How much trouble would I be in? Would I have to go back to the house? How bad would the next beating be? What if my dad was here? Why isn't my dad here? I wish my dad was here. I wished I could see him again, to hug him and smell his aftershave. I just wish things weren't so messed up. I wish I could be happy again.
The water ran cold, but I didn't care. I heard the door open, and Niall stepped in. “Teagan? Are you alright?” He sounded sad.
I let out a sob and choked on my words. Niall reached his hand into the shower and turned the water off. “Jesus Teagan it's freezing!”
My teeth chattered as I continued to sob. Niall grabbed a towel before pulling the curtain back. He held the towel open for me to step into, keeping his eyes anywhere but on me. I shivered and stepped into the towel, Niall wrapped it around me and held me close to his body.
“What's going on with you?” He whispered, not letting go of me as I sobbed into his chest.
I sniffled and wiped my face on the back of my hand. “I don't know.” I looked up at him with my bloodshot eyes. “Everything hurts, Niall. Can you make it stop? Please make it stop.” I begged him as the hole in my heart grew bigger.
I held Teagan in my arms, she was freezing and hadn't stopped crying. She was begging me to make it stop, but I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to make her pain go away. She was never the one to show her emotions. I know she never really dealt with her father's death, and I know she missed him. I know her home life was bothering her. Her mum just letting her get abused by that ass of a step dad, must hurt. How could a mother do that? To let their own flesh and blood get beaten, just so they could live a posh life?
My heart ached as I rubbed her back. “Shh.” I soothed her. “It's going to be okay, I'm here now.” I gave her a squeeze. “Let's go get you into some warm clothes okay?”
I helped her out to the room and had her sit on the bed. I went over to her suitcase and grabbed a long sleeve shirt and some pajama bottoms, along with underwear and a bra. Was it weird to be touching my best friends undergarments? A little, but I would do anything for her.
I handed her the pile of clothes and bit my lip. “Do you uh, need help or...” I felt my face flush, embarrassed by what I was asking.
Teagan took a breath and looked at me, shaking still. “I think I can do it...”
I nodded and turned my back to her, looking around the room so she could get dressed. I noticed the empty alcohol bottles sitting on the table. Teagan didn't really drink, not alone, not unless we were out.
I was snapped out of my thoughts when Teagan spoke. “I need your help.” She said quietly.
I turned back around, her back was to me. She was wearing her pajama bottoms and fumbling with the hook of her bra. “I've got it.” I walked over to her and clasped her bra together. “There.” I stepped away as she pulled her shirt over her head and sat back on the bed.
“Thanks..” she mumbled, picking at her nails.
I got her a bottle of water from the fridge and handed her a bottle of aspirin before sitting next to her on the bed. “Is that why you wanted a separate room?” I asked her, pointing to the table.
Hiya! I'm sorry it took me so long to update! I've been so busy with work that I haven't had time to update. I appreciate how patient you have all been.
I hope this was worth the wait. <3