Drama
Chapter 10: A Judgmental World
Leila's P.O.V.
I wake up on Tuesday morning not feeling any better than I did last night. As I shower and get ready, the hate flows through my brain and I can’t concentrate correctly. I manage to figure everything out and get myself out of my apartment, running a few minutes late.
I reach the studio and head inside to the meeting room. Alexa greets me as I enter, but I’m too depressed to even smile. I sit back in my normal spot and see Spencer walk into the room. She eyes me closely, but goes and talks to other people. The way Spencer looked at me causes me to take out my phone and text Niall to come meet me for lunch. He replies back, “Sure” and as soon as we are dismissed for lunch, he’s standing right there. Spencer immediately starts chatting with him, and as I gather my stuff, I watch them converse. Spencer’s back is to me, so I can’t see her face, but Niall’s expression shows me that he’s getting annoyed by her. He cuts the conversation off in Spencer’s mid-sentence and walks past her towards me. She turns around and watches him ignore her and now I can see her face, her expression clearly mad. She stomps away as Niall approaches me.
“You ready to go?” he asks.
“Yeah, just a sec. I have to tell Alexa and Max we’re not eating with them,” I say.
“Wait, we’re not eating with them?” Niall questions.
“I really need to talk to you about something, something that only you’ll understand. I trust Max and Alexa, but I just want it to be you for now, okay?” I explain.
“Okay,” he agrees.
I walk up to Alexa and Max and tell them we’re not going with them. I briefly explain why, but I say that I’ll tell them more later when I’m ready. They don’t seem to mind, so Niall and I head out.
“Hey, I was thinking of eating at my place, is that okay?” I ask.
“Uh, sure, I don’t really care where we eat,” he answers.
Niall can tell that I’m a little down, so on the way to my apartment, he tells me jokes and gets me to laugh, and me being a person that can laugh while being sad, I forget about the negativity. We enter in my apartment and I heat up some leftovers for the both of us.
After we’re done eating, we move to the couch to relax and Niall changes the subject.
“So, what’s bothering you? Why did you want me to have lunch with you?”
Since I had forgotten about the situation momentarily, my insides clam up remembering about it.
“It’s, uh, it’s about…”
“Is it about the paparazzi and the picture of us two in the alley?” he guesses.
“H-how did you know?”
“It’s kind of hard to ignore that once it’s everywhere, and it’s even harder to forget about it once you’ve seen it,” Niall expresses.
“It’s not just about that,” I say. His face scrunches up in confusion, but then he gives me a worried look.
“You didn’t tell the paparazzi about it, did you?” he shrieks.
“No, no, no! Nothing like that,” I respond. I take a deep breath, and then continue. “It was all over Twitter and I just couldn’t help it. I was reading people’s comments and..and…”
I’m about to burst out crying, but I hold it in. A little tear appears at the corner of my eye and slides down my cheek.
“You read hate about yourself….” Niall reveals, finally understanding. Now that he’s said it out loud, the tears keep coming. He opens his arms and I collapse into them.
“Ssshh, shh, Leila, it’s ok,” Niall comforts me, holding me tight. The tears subside a little bit and he releases me. I sit back up and take the Kleenex box, blowing my nose loudly into a tissue.
“T-they called me ugly, a n-nobody, e-even a w-wannab-be!” I cry, remembering some of the hate people were saying.
“Leila, Leila! Calm down, it’s not the end of the world. First of all, they don’t even know it’s you. You may think that’s the worst part, but that’s actually the best part because they don’t know who to send their hate at. Yes, it’s aimed at you, but you, me, and Alexa are the only ones who know that. Since they don’t know it’s you, they can’t judge you on anything else besides what they see in that picture. Second, those words they throw at you are because they’re jealous. They immediately believe the media is true and without thinking, they instantly judge and share their opinions, no matter how harsh it is. And third, you’re definitely not ugly. Just look at the picture, I don’t even look that great! We’re running from the paparazzi, you can’t even see your face that much because my hand is covering it. Don’t stress too much about it. You’re a beautiful girl with great ambitions. You’re living in Hollywood about to star in a big TV series!”
I take in his words and breathe a sigh of relief. Sure, it’s tough, but there’s no turning back time and fixing everything.
“Yes, this is one of the prices you pay for becoming famous. I get called ugly all the time, people say I don’t deserve to be in One Direction. But guess what? I’m not going to listen to them because those are the people who don’t know me well enough to judge me. They don’t know my past and what I’ve done to get to this point in my life. They don’t know that I worked my butt of during The X-Factor to prove to the world that I can sing. I’m not leaving the band, and none of the other members are, either. We’re sticking together for a while, and I’m going to prove to those haters that their words don’t mean anything. And that’s exactly what you have to do. It’s hard to ignore it, and usually you can fix it, but because they don’t know it’s you and we’d like to keep it that way, you can’t. I’ll try to fix this because I’m the known victim. Don’t stress, ok?”
I take another deep breath and remember about something else. I contemplate telling it to him, and since he’s right here, I figure I should.
“Niall, there’s something else,” I start. He’s quiet, so I go into the story about Spencer yesterday. His expression turns angry, but at the same time surprise.
“Wait, she wants me?” he exclaims, just like how Max was.
“Yeah,” I confirm.
“Now I understand why she’s so nice to me. Ugh,” he says, shuddering.
“So what are you going to do?” I ask, curious.
“Well, she’s not getting me, that’s for sure. I hate her for what she did to me. Gosh, there’s got to be another answer why she wants me,” he answers.
“We’ve been thinking about that, too,” I tell him.
Suddenly, my phone buzzes with a text from Alexa:
Where are you guys?! We’re starting!!
“Oh, shit!” I shout, scrambling off of the couch and getting my stuff together.
“What?” Niall asks, getting up.
“We’re going to be late!” I yell, setting the dirty dishes in the sink and slinging my bag over my shoulder. Niall hurries to get his sweatshirt on and we exit my apartment, practically running back to the studio.
We enter the building and head towards the room. Alexa was right, they were starting. Everyone looks up as Niall and I enter the room and interrupt whoever was reading their line.
“Sorry, Mr. Conners. My fault,” Niall apologizes, nodding at Mr. Conners.
“Oh, Niall, glad to see you! That’s fine, it’s alright,” Mr. Conners says. Niall nods at me and I smile back. Then he disappears and I sit down. My entire cast is looking at me, and a few people are whispering behind my back. Before Mr. Conners begins again, one girl sitting behind me whispers in my ear.
“Seems like that rumor is true, Leila.”
I turn and face her, and everyone behind me is smiling and smirking. I turn back around and Spencer is glaring at me, her eyes almost about to pop out of her sockets.
“Ok, ok, let’s continue,” Mr. Conners instructs. I flip open to the page we’re at and read my lines, but it’s impossible to focus when now my whole cast is secretly judging me.
I wake up on Tuesday morning not feeling any better than I did last night. As I shower and get ready, the hate flows through my brain and I can’t concentrate correctly. I manage to figure everything out and get myself out of my apartment, running a few minutes late.
I reach the studio and head inside to the meeting room. Alexa greets me as I enter, but I’m too depressed to even smile. I sit back in my normal spot and see Spencer walk into the room. She eyes me closely, but goes and talks to other people. The way Spencer looked at me causes me to take out my phone and text Niall to come meet me for lunch. He replies back, “Sure” and as soon as we are dismissed for lunch, he’s standing right there. Spencer immediately starts chatting with him, and as I gather my stuff, I watch them converse. Spencer’s back is to me, so I can’t see her face, but Niall’s expression shows me that he’s getting annoyed by her. He cuts the conversation off in Spencer’s mid-sentence and walks past her towards me. She turns around and watches him ignore her and now I can see her face, her expression clearly mad. She stomps away as Niall approaches me.
“You ready to go?” he asks.
“Yeah, just a sec. I have to tell Alexa and Max we’re not eating with them,” I say.
“Wait, we’re not eating with them?” Niall questions.
“I really need to talk to you about something, something that only you’ll understand. I trust Max and Alexa, but I just want it to be you for now, okay?” I explain.
“Okay,” he agrees.
I walk up to Alexa and Max and tell them we’re not going with them. I briefly explain why, but I say that I’ll tell them more later when I’m ready. They don’t seem to mind, so Niall and I head out.
“Hey, I was thinking of eating at my place, is that okay?” I ask.
“Uh, sure, I don’t really care where we eat,” he answers.
Niall can tell that I’m a little down, so on the way to my apartment, he tells me jokes and gets me to laugh, and me being a person that can laugh while being sad, I forget about the negativity. We enter in my apartment and I heat up some leftovers for the both of us.
After we’re done eating, we move to the couch to relax and Niall changes the subject.
“So, what’s bothering you? Why did you want me to have lunch with you?”
Since I had forgotten about the situation momentarily, my insides clam up remembering about it.
“It’s, uh, it’s about…”
“Is it about the paparazzi and the picture of us two in the alley?” he guesses.
“H-how did you know?”
“It’s kind of hard to ignore that once it’s everywhere, and it’s even harder to forget about it once you’ve seen it,” Niall expresses.
“It’s not just about that,” I say. His face scrunches up in confusion, but then he gives me a worried look.
“You didn’t tell the paparazzi about it, did you?” he shrieks.
“No, no, no! Nothing like that,” I respond. I take a deep breath, and then continue. “It was all over Twitter and I just couldn’t help it. I was reading people’s comments and..and…”
I’m about to burst out crying, but I hold it in. A little tear appears at the corner of my eye and slides down my cheek.
“You read hate about yourself….” Niall reveals, finally understanding. Now that he’s said it out loud, the tears keep coming. He opens his arms and I collapse into them.
“Ssshh, shh, Leila, it’s ok,” Niall comforts me, holding me tight. The tears subside a little bit and he releases me. I sit back up and take the Kleenex box, blowing my nose loudly into a tissue.
“T-they called me ugly, a n-nobody, e-even a w-wannab-be!” I cry, remembering some of the hate people were saying.
“Leila, Leila! Calm down, it’s not the end of the world. First of all, they don’t even know it’s you. You may think that’s the worst part, but that’s actually the best part because they don’t know who to send their hate at. Yes, it’s aimed at you, but you, me, and Alexa are the only ones who know that. Since they don’t know it’s you, they can’t judge you on anything else besides what they see in that picture. Second, those words they throw at you are because they’re jealous. They immediately believe the media is true and without thinking, they instantly judge and share their opinions, no matter how harsh it is. And third, you’re definitely not ugly. Just look at the picture, I don’t even look that great! We’re running from the paparazzi, you can’t even see your face that much because my hand is covering it. Don’t stress too much about it. You’re a beautiful girl with great ambitions. You’re living in Hollywood about to star in a big TV series!”
I take in his words and breathe a sigh of relief. Sure, it’s tough, but there’s no turning back time and fixing everything.
“Yes, this is one of the prices you pay for becoming famous. I get called ugly all the time, people say I don’t deserve to be in One Direction. But guess what? I’m not going to listen to them because those are the people who don’t know me well enough to judge me. They don’t know my past and what I’ve done to get to this point in my life. They don’t know that I worked my butt of during The X-Factor to prove to the world that I can sing. I’m not leaving the band, and none of the other members are, either. We’re sticking together for a while, and I’m going to prove to those haters that their words don’t mean anything. And that’s exactly what you have to do. It’s hard to ignore it, and usually you can fix it, but because they don’t know it’s you and we’d like to keep it that way, you can’t. I’ll try to fix this because I’m the known victim. Don’t stress, ok?”
I take another deep breath and remember about something else. I contemplate telling it to him, and since he’s right here, I figure I should.
“Niall, there’s something else,” I start. He’s quiet, so I go into the story about Spencer yesterday. His expression turns angry, but at the same time surprise.
“Wait, she wants me?” he exclaims, just like how Max was.
“Yeah,” I confirm.
“Now I understand why she’s so nice to me. Ugh,” he says, shuddering.
“So what are you going to do?” I ask, curious.
“Well, she’s not getting me, that’s for sure. I hate her for what she did to me. Gosh, there’s got to be another answer why she wants me,” he answers.
“We’ve been thinking about that, too,” I tell him.
Suddenly, my phone buzzes with a text from Alexa:
Where are you guys?! We’re starting!!
“Oh, shit!” I shout, scrambling off of the couch and getting my stuff together.
“What?” Niall asks, getting up.
“We’re going to be late!” I yell, setting the dirty dishes in the sink and slinging my bag over my shoulder. Niall hurries to get his sweatshirt on and we exit my apartment, practically running back to the studio.
We enter the building and head towards the room. Alexa was right, they were starting. Everyone looks up as Niall and I enter the room and interrupt whoever was reading their line.
“Sorry, Mr. Conners. My fault,” Niall apologizes, nodding at Mr. Conners.
“Oh, Niall, glad to see you! That’s fine, it’s alright,” Mr. Conners says. Niall nods at me and I smile back. Then he disappears and I sit down. My entire cast is looking at me, and a few people are whispering behind my back. Before Mr. Conners begins again, one girl sitting behind me whispers in my ear.
“Seems like that rumor is true, Leila.”
I turn and face her, and everyone behind me is smiling and smirking. I turn back around and Spencer is glaring at me, her eyes almost about to pop out of her sockets.
“Ok, ok, let’s continue,” Mr. Conners instructs. I flip open to the page we’re at and read my lines, but it’s impossible to focus when now my whole cast is secretly judging me.
Notes
Hey everyone! Thanks for reading and keep voting/sharing!Hope you're enjoying it and please check out the other fanfic I'm co-writing: "Friendship Never Ends"!
Rachel :)
Make a Sequel please.
9/13/14