The Last Goodbye

I have been here in the hospital twenty one days an counting. Everyday is like a round the clock routine. I wake every morning wishing I could go back to sleep. It's always exactly 6:00 when I find myself staring at the shadows on the wall. I'm up two hours earlier than I'm suppose to be, so that gives me two whole hours alone to just think.

I mostly like to go back in time before the accident even happened. My only problems then where deciding on which college I should apply to and trying not to miss Harry so much. Which he made it difficult for me to do because he called and emailed me just about every hour of the day. Something's never change though cause it seems like i'll never stop missing him. Another person particularly who has been on my mind lately is my best friend Beth. Who had always decided to go by a different name since I've known her. Growing up in Nashville might've effected her decision to want to become a country singer. The vey day I met she told me Beth was her actual name because Elizabeth was meant for a blue blood. Then the clock on the wall would turn 7:00.

Shortly after I spent nights in here I asked my dad for art supplies as long as he didn't tell mom. Niall being that friend who I couldn't have asked for someone one better reminded me even in a dream of my second love. Every morning when it's almost the hour before eight I finish drawing the sketch of Harry. I only saw him once since the accident and it was a fading picture in my head. My mom makes sure that. I don't see him and there is no chance of him seeing me. I start with his eyes because they were always the first thing I noticed. Then naturally my hand effortlessly draws his nose, lips, ears. I stare at his longer hair looking at the same face yet he looks totally different. My mind finally caught up with my hand and before I knew it the sketch was complete. Now I have three minutes to spare.

7:57 I wish this picture of Harry was real. 7:58 I wish I could be with him longer that what I have been. And then it's 7:59 I wish to stop wishing for him.

Breakfast is served and I pretend like I am going to devour the grotesque meal my regular nurse Jamie brought me. She always looks at me to make sure that I am going to eat it. She sees the look of disgust in my eyes. "You're eating for two now." Jamie says causally like it isn't a big deal. I have had days to process this information and I'm still processing it. In some medical cases people who do wake up from extensive care there seems to always be a but. I have met other patients here and everyone of them has had something go wrong. Physically you are fine but you're in need of a new liver. All of your other senses work, but you've lost your sight. Everything checks out with flying colors, but your memory loss may just be temporary. In my circumstance I have found out that I can leave in a few more days, but there's this slight chance that I might be pregnant.

Sitting on a paper sheet on a hard bed in another room waiting for Dr. Ross. My legs are dangling over almost touching the floor. I clutch my stomach only because I'm trying to keep it from making loud noises. I practically survive off the food from the vending machine that Chloe brings me. Whom by the way is now acting weird around me again. One minute she is nice then the next she is acting like she is hiding something. I couldn't understand my little sister even if I read a book written about her. I jumped when the door knob twisted and in comes walking Dr. Ross.

"Hi so are you ready?" She said putting her hand under a hand sanitizer dispenser on the wall. I nodded as I rested on my back. She began the ultra sound an after a minute she told me to look at the screen on the monitor.

"Alright do you see this area? Can you tell me what you see?" She asked. I turned my head to the side to look.

"Nothing." I answered feeling relieved. "Dr.Ross pulled her glove off and scooted her chair over to turn the light switch on.

"See that's the part that baffles me. Time after time I see no embryo that would indicate your pregnancy." She said. "Isn't that a good thing?" I asked sitting up. Dr. Ross stared at the monitor an looked back at me. "The ultrasound is picking up a second heartbeat."

"But if there's nothing wrong I can leave?" She looked at me like she was searching for a nice way to say no. "I am walking again even though I get dizzy quicker. But you said yourself it'll ease up. My headaches are gone away. I-"

She interrupted me before I could finish. "Trust me I get it. I wouldn't be doing my job though if i discharged you not knowing all the facts." Dr. Ross said.

I sighed."I get it." I got down from where I sat and slumped down in the wheel chair I didn't need. I wheeled myself out into the hall thinking I would see Jamie waiting for me like she always is. I didn't see her this time. "I can take you back to your room?" Dr. Ross asked me.

"I'll just wait for Jamie." I told her. Down the hall there were rows of waiting room chairs. I got out of my wheelchair and sat in one of them. Five chairs where in the corner against the wall and I sat on the end. Across from me hung a dark glass mirror that casted my reflection. I had a bad case of bed hair and I wore a frumpy hospital gown. I pushed my hair to the side and combed it out with my fingers. "Trust me no matter how long you stare your going to stay that pretty." A person that occupied the chair on the opposite end of me said. I turned to face him and say thanks to probably a creepy older guy. Though I could only stare.

Going back to my endless dream I saw Christian who in fact was completely made up. He was only a figment of my imagination! Either I had conjured him up or he dangerously resembled him. "I apologize I was just saying the first thing that came to my head." He said. I had never seen his face before today.

"It's fine your face caught me off guard."Shortly after I said that I wanted to reword that differently. I was embarrassed by the unintentional cheesy pick up line. "I didn't mean that. " I said correcting my mistake.

"Harsh! So I'm ugly now?" He asked. I covered my face till I heard his laughter. "I shall stop talking now." I told him. He leaned back in his chair with his head against the wall, and faced me.

"So what's gotten you in here?" My wheelchair and the paleness due to lack of sunlight must've given me away.

"A coma." I came out and said. He sucked in air between his gritted teeth. "Sorry to hear that?" He said like he was asking me. It was strange talking to him, but I liked his company. "You know you look familiar." Christian's look alike said. I wanted to shout out so do you.

"Small world maybe?"

He looked down at his phone for a good while after that. He didn't say anything else. Sitting back in my chair assuming our conversations had died. Til he centered his iPhone in my face. I look at images of Harry and I on his phone with news article related to myself and to also Harry.

"You googled me?" I laughed. He furrowed his eyebrows and shook his head.

"I did." He answered. "Turns out your quite googable." I laughed even louder it made my head throb.

"Did you just make that word up?" I asked him.

"It should already have been a word, but yes Victoria Anneliese Chambers I did." He smiled. "Since you now know my name are you going to tell me yours?" I asked. Jamie came jogging down the hall.

"Victoria sorry I'm late, but you might want to come to your room. . . Now!" She said trying to conceal her excitement. I folded my chair and dragged it behind me.

"Another time maybe." He yelled out behind me.

Next to me Jamie walked faster and she stared down at her phone the whole walk back to my room. Her hair was pulled up this morning, now her blonde locks bounced in behind her with a freshly painted face. We got to my door and a older guy with a serious expresstood next to it. People stared at me as I moved closer to my room.

"Whats going on?" I whispered to her. I don't think he heard us open the door open. He sat on my bed with his back turned to me. I tried not to make a sound and I looked at Jamie an she patted me on the back closing the door.

Making the first sound, Harry got up and quickly turned around.

Notes