The Last Goodbye

Later that day or night I wasn't exactly sure. In fact I wasn't sure of a lot if things. Nurses came in and out of my room hovering over monitors and pricking my arm with needles. My oxygen supplements were changed. I still couldn't breathe on my own I had to use a Nasal Cannula, which were two small prongs that gave me oxygen through my nose. Dr. Ross examined me more thoroughly, but she still didn't give me anything for the pain in my head. I was having the headache from hell.

Eventually mom told dad about the news that I was awake. A few hours later my dad and Chloe came. When dad walked in the room immediately he cried when he saw me. Chloe looked almost afraid to be near me. "How are you feeling?" Dad asked wiping his face and regaining his masculinity.

"I guess I'm alright. My legs feel like they have two huge weights sitting on them." I said trying to wiggle them. My throat was dry and when I spoke it came out sounding like I had been smoking for years. Mom also took notice in the pitch in my voice. She went over by the faucet and filled a small plastic pink cup with water. As soon as the water touched the inside of my stomach I felt nauseous.

"I bet it feels like it all happened just yesterday." Mom said smoothing out my hair. If only she knew it didn't.

"You know you had us worried a couple of months back. The doctor said you had contracted pneumonia." He said.

"Joey!" My mom gasped slapping his arm. "She doesn't need to be hearing all of this just yet."

I do in fact remember feeling like I was sick, but with a cold. I thought I had gotten sick from walking home in the rain after the dance. Go figure I was actually ill. "I'm bored can I turn on the television?" Chloe asked our parents.

"Your sister has been through enough as it is. At the least bit you can try to and have some sympathy." Mom said to Chloe. Scolding her was actually more like it. On a good day I would've felt satisfaction from Chloe getting in trouble cause of the things she say. This time was different. Something was definitely bothering her. I moved my hand along side the bed to feel for the cord that the remote was attached to.

"Here you go." I said kindly handing her the remote control.

"Thanks." She said flatly. A small tv hung across the room near the ceiling. It was so tiny I had to squint to see a picture. Since I really didn't care to be watching anything I rested my head on the thin pillow behind me.

"You know it's actually astonishing at how fast these guys shows sell out."A male reporters voice said coming from the tv. "I agree Bill the fans never grow tired of their music or them for that matter." A woman's voice laughed to her cohost.

I stared at the deflating balloons and the cards that were aligned. I put my hand on the back of my shoulder and sure enough I still felt the scars that healed.The nauseated feeling hadn't gone away. It seemed to have gotten worse. The voices from the tv kept going. "The real question is what is One Direction's secret? How do they do it?" The reporter asked.

My eyes immediately were drawn to the television where it showed a picture of them on stage. I focused my eyes to see if all of them were accounted for. Louis was one, Niall two, when I counted the third member my heart jumped into my shrinking stomach because of Zayn. It was sorta of good feeling. He was standing there with them. Liam made four and when I got to the end I was numb all over. "Turn that off!" Mom yelled at the tv screen trying to block it out of my view. I had to quickly lean over the bed rail and aimed my face into the trash bin. I coughed and hurled at the same time. I had my face bent down for almost sixty seconds. Once I looked back up my parents looked worried about me an then Chloe looked grossed out. I wasn't bothered by it actually, because it was Harry who made it five.

Dr. Ross came back in and Chloe was asked to step out of the room. If I could use my legs properly I would've left too. She stood beside me and read my charts looking like she was barring more bad news. She was short with long reddish orange locks of hair. I didn't look at her for too long because she reminded of Beth without the southern accent.

"Five months ago you came her with a severe injury to your head. It was fractured badly and there was a mass swelling to your brain tissues. Now in most cases like your own I find you to be quite lucky." She said as she checked my blood pressure. "There are a lot of steps on the road to recovery. This is just step one. Questions?" She finally breathed out.

"Will my legs go back to normal?" I asked her trying to move them again. Yeah they definitely replaced my bones for bricks.

"With the right amount of physical therapy they should indeed. You were immobilized for a very long time. But yes they will." Dr.Ross said patting my knee. "Anything else?" She asked.

I did have one more question to ask. But it was something that I'm positive either one of my parents knew the answer to. "Why hasn't anyone said his name?" I blurted out. They looked at each other reading the other ones mind.

"May I speak with you both out in the hallway?" Dr. Ross asked them. It was obvious she was saving them from the conversation they were about to have with me. "Mom?" I called out for her. She walked behind dad clutching her hands to her face. They way she reacted baffled me. My mom was acting as if I insulted her by bring up the thought of Harry. Chloe came back in and closed the door behind her. This time sitting next to me.

"Your not going to puke again are you?" Chloe said standing up.

"Are you going to stop acting like I have cooties?"

"Cooties really? What nineteen year old says that?" She said siting again. Without thinking about it I hit my forehead feeling the pain come to life again.

"I missed my birthday?" I covered my eyes with one hands and convinced myself not to cry. "You missed plenty of days." Chloe responded.

"Wait a minute! If I was in the car with Harry-"

"Yeah so?"

"How did I end up back here home in Maine?" I asked trying to push myself to sit up, but slowly sank back down. Chloe walked over to the window to the left of me. Shoving her hands in the center to push the curtains apart revealing a sunset over tall buildings. It was a perfect view of New York City.

Her back was still faced to me and she kept looking out of the window. "Mom moved up her to stay with you. We had just lost grandma and it looked like she was loosing you too." Letting it all sink in is terrible, but it isn't the worst part. The worst part is readjusting to the fact that my grandmother is the one that is gone once again. I really wish I can picture her face in front of me again so that this time I can tell her goodbye. But the hardest part about telling someone that. Is that you have to do it again the next day.

"So what about you and dad?"

"The two of us are still where you and mom left us. On certain occasions we'd come and see you. Everything changed when you got hurt. Mom really didn't want people visiting you anymore. She focused all her attention on you in here. Her and dad argued a lot til it eventually it got to the point where dad only called mom ever so often to get an update on you." Chloe's voice sounded tired and mostly sad. It wasn't because of me, but because all while I was lying here thinking I was someplace else. She had faded into the background like a wallflower.

"Whatever happened to Harry?" I went ahead an asked. I probably should've talked to Chloe about Chloe. But I had been constantly visualizing that he had died. And the worst part was even in a dream I had lost him.

"You mean whatever happened to your boyfriend Harry?" Chloe spun around and repeated.

"That's the one." I said sounding frustrated. I looked down and combed the ends of my hair with my fingers. My hair was in need of a proper cut. Lying down it looked as it grew more pass my waist. "There's no trace of him here." I said looking back up around the room.

"That's because mom threw away all the things he'd bought." She said.

"Why." I said still pushing for more answers.

"This room was basically a second home for him after he got his cast on his arm and was discharged from ICU." Chloe said pointing down the ground. "But you know mom she blamed him for everything. If the sun went down she would say it's his fault." Chloe continued. I held my head up cause she stopped talking. Instead she went over to where my mom sat and began looking through her purse.

"If you get told something long enough you begin to believe it." Chloe popped back up with something in her hand. She started to hand me what look like her phone. I didn't know who she wanted me to call til I held the phone in my hands.

"Do you not remember his number?" She asked. It was a little weird and slightly awkward that I was having a conversation about Harry with my little sister.

I knew his number, but what were the odds that he hadn't changed it by now. I would've given anything thing to hear his voice and not the one I listened to in my head. Knowing that I was lying there surrounded by four blue hospital walls made it harder for me to hit send. Dialing the number back and clearing it out until I just handed her the phone back. I wanted it more than anything to see him in person and to tell him it was my fault. If only I was so damn stubborn maybe we wouldn't have gotten in the accident in the first place.

"Are you sure?" She asked me looking at the screen realizing I turned it off.

"No." I said. I shifted on my side if I say another word, mostly likely I will cry. At the door I could hear Chloe turning the handle then twisting it shut again.

"I kept it safe for you." She said placing a chain on the table next to me. Once she left I stretched my arm out to pick it up. It was the silver dove necklace Harry had given me almost a year ago. Doves are my favorite kind of birds. It made no sense to anyone else as to why I believed they brought me luck. Thinking about it in my made it sound nonsensical even to me. I swear it would happen every time I would see doves. The town in Maine I lived in rarely had sightings of wildlife except for the occasional seagulls. Harry gave me the necklace so that I could have luck around me everywhere I went. By habit I was going to clasp it around my neck.

Dr. Ross came in yet again and sat on the end of my bed. She was alone this time and she smiled at me, but it was a sad smile. "Victoria I've been examining you for months and I haven't seen this till now."

"Is something wrong?" I asked her sitting up. I balled my fist with the necklace still in my hand. I knew something always happened when I'm near doves, because the next words she spoke to me were unexpected and rather impossible.

She skeptically shook her head. "I saw another heartbeat."

Notes