Through The Dark

We were all in the living room when it was brought up. I plopped down on the couch, not believing what I was hearing. I shook my head angrily at the news, though I was partly excited about it. It would help them so much but I’m going to miss him terribly.
“When do you leave?” I asked, bouncing Darcy on my knee as I looked at him. He bit his lower lip, looking half excited half sad.
“We leave the fourteenth but the tour starts on the eighteenth of December.” Harry said, his voice sounding excited. I frowned.
“Are you going to be home for Christmas?” I asked, thinking about later next month. Harry was silent for a minute.
“I’m not sure.” was all he said, making me look away. Our babies first christmas and their daddy might not even be here to see it.
“How long will you be gone?” I asked, paying extra attention to Darcy’s ever growing blonde curls before I started to spin my ring around my finger.
“The last show is scheduled for July.” He said quietly. I nodded my head, not trusting my voice. So my fiancé will be gone for eight months, if it all goes according to plans. That’s almost a year.
“Will you be able to come home every now and then?” I asked, looking at him. He nodded his head before frowning.
“We should be able to, yeah.” He answered, looking down at his hands.
“Okay. Well, I’m excited for you babe.” I say, trying to sound happy and excited for him. He nodded his head, smiling at me. I know he saw through my show but I kept it up anyway.
“We are excited to. Niall is ecstatic.” Harry said, changing the subject. I smiled and nodded my head. No matter what he said, part of me was still sad that he has to leave me and the babies for eight months. What will I do without my sparrow?
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It’s Thanksgiving Day and I managed to lose my little boy. I search frantically through my house, looking underneath everything. I just had him, how did he get away from me so fast? Harry came into the house holding Darcy in his arms.
“Have you seen Dylan?” I asked, looking around the house again.
“No, have you checked the kitchen?” Harry asked, mentioning the very place that I have not checked. I rushed into the kitchen to find the little boy on the marble counter, sticking his hands in the mashed potatoes.
“How did you get up there!” I nearly shouted, scaring the little boy.
He grinned at me and reached up, his tiny little hands covered in white mush. I sighed and scooped him up, shaking my head. How did he manage to get up on the counter? I rushed around the house, picking up baby toys before taking them and the mashed potato mess into the nursery. I changed Dylan’s clothes and cleaned him up just in time for the guests start to arrive. Anne and Gemma were already in the kitchen. More of Harry’s family came in, our first time meeting. All of the boys stopped in for a few minutes, saying hi and all that before leaving to go to their families house.
The thanksgiving dinner had been a success, the family instantly falling in love with the twins. Anna and Gemma helped me clean up after they all left, washing dishes and putting left overs up. I bid them good bye and Darcy yawned in my arms while Dylan was tugging at my at my pants leg.
I shut the door and grabbed Dylan, maneuvering him into my other arm. I took them straight to the bathroom, running the warm water up until it was deep enough for them to play in but shallow enough to where they won’t drowned if they fell over or something. I sent Harry into the bathroom to bathe them, poking him in the side as we passed each other. He giggled like a little girl, lightly smacking my hand away. I smiled and went to our bathroom, getting into the shower. By the time he was done with the babies, I was already dressed and drying the twins off. I dressed them and put them in their cribs, watching them almost fall asleep instantly. Today had been an exciting, long day for them.
Once I was back in our room, I crawled up onto the bed, laying right beside Harry. He wrapped an arm around me, pulling me closer has he kissed my forehead. I snuggled closer into his body, absorbing hi body warmth. I’m going to miss this so much.
“Do you have a date in mind yet?” He asked, his hand rubbing up and down my arm slowly.
“I don’t know. Probably about next August or after. I may decide to give you a break from the tour thing and not rush you with the wedding and all.” I mumbled, my eye lids drooping at the weight of my sleepiness.
“What ever you want, baby. I’ll give it to you. Even if it means giving you the world.” I heard Harry rasp as I drifted off.
*********************************
“Are you done packing?” I asked, leaning against our doorframe with my arms crossed over my chest.
“Yeah, I’m done.” Harry said, zipping up the last bag before turning towards me. There must have been something in my expression that made him sad. He sat on the end of the bed and motioned for me to come to him. I pushed off the door frame and stood in front of him between his legs. He kissed my tummy before looking up at me, his green eyes dark.
“I love you.” He said, his voice soft but low. I nodded my head, not trusting my voice just yet. I cleared my throat some-what quietly, though it still came out in a sad rasp.
“I love you to, Harry.” I replied, leaning down to kiss him. We stared at each other for a moment, saying words in silence that would never be understood if they were spoken out loud.
“Let’s go eat. Supper’s ready.” I say, breaking the silence. He nods his head lets me go, following me into the kitchen.
After the kids had eaten, got a bath and were put to bed, I did the dishes in silence, allowing my mind to think, which wasn’t exactly good or bad. I panicked in my head. A lot. What was I going to do when the twins start crying for their daddy? What about when christmas and their birthday rolls around and he’s not here? I know their young, but they will notice. Would they remember him when he comes back?
Two arms wrapped around my waist as I put the last dish in the drainer. I sighed and leaned back into him, resting my head on his shoulder. Harry swayed from side to side slowly, his chin resting on the top of my head. I turned around and wrapped my arms around his waist tightly, burying my face into his chest.
We continued to sway, dancing to the silence around us. We stayed like the for what seems to have been forever until Harry took my hand and lead me out of the kitchen. He lead me to our bedroom, shutting the door behind us before laying me down and making sweet, slow love to me.
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The alarm clock was loud in my ear, making me rush to turn it off. I groaned and rolled over, poking the bare body next to mine. He groaned in return, shifting around to ignore me. I sighed and got up, slipping on a shirt that I just hoped was on the right way and flipped on the light. Harry hissed at me, pulling the blanket over his head. I sighed and smiled, marching over to him and yanking the covers off him. He shrieked like a little girl, sending me into a fit of laughter. I’ve never heard something so girly come from such a masculine man. In my moment of weakness he snatched the fabric from my hands, wrapping up into a tight ball with it.
“You don’t want to be late and then get left do you?” I asked, half of me hoping that’s exactly what he wanted. I heard him sigh and poke his head out from the blankets.
“I guess not.” He said, untangling himself from the blankets before heading into the bathroom for a shower. I followed, happily joining him in the shower. We took turns under the water, enjoying the touched of our lover for the last time in a while.
After drying off the getting dressed, I woke the babies up, earning a few well deserved grumbles and whines. I got them dressed for the freezing whether outside after feeding them and popping a binkie in each other their mouths. I packed a big diaper bag, not having the patients nor the time to pack two. Harry was finally ready and it was time to head to the airport. We loaded up the suburban, Harry having already turned it on to heat up before we had to get in it. When we were all buckled up, Harry reversed out of the driveway and pointed the vehicle towards the airport.
The ride there was silent, leaving me to stare out the window to watch England pass by in a blur. Light snores came from behind me, telling me the babies had fallen back asleep. The airport came faster than I wanted it to, making me want to scream and rebel against him leaving me. He parked close to the doors, grabbing Dylan while I got Darcy and the diaper bag. Louis appeared out of no where, taking Dylan from Harry so he could get his bags. We rushed inside, trying to escape the cold and damp whether outside.
We met the rest of our group by the boarding area for their plane, seeing that I wasn’t the only girlfriend that was trying not to cry. Us girls, we had to stay strong for them. We have to prove that we are here for them no matter what decision they make or where they decide to take their career. I sent a shaky smile to Ariel and Ashley, receiving similar actions.
We waited for about twenty minutes, letting Harry play with his babies while he could. Darcy and Dylan were a little grumpy from being up so early, not giving him the response he seemed to desperately need. Once Dylan cracked a smile, Harry seemed to be a little bit happier. The intercom came on, telling us that it was time for the boys to leave. Harry scooped up Darcy first, hugging her tightly as he buried his face into her curls, squeezing his eyes shut. He released her, leaving a lingering kiss on her forehead.
“Don’t grow to much while I’m gone, yeah? I’m going to miss you so much, princess. I love you.” Harry said, his voice shaky from unshed tears. I bit down hard on my bottom lip, willing my tears to stay in my eyes. He exchanged Darcy for Dylan, hugging him the same way.
“You’re such a big boy. Be good for mommy and take care of her while I’m gone? I love you.” Harry said, his eyes a bright green as he released the tears that were now flowing freely down his face. My own feelings were rolling down my cheeks as he handed Dylan to Gemma and took me into a tight hug. I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck, inhaling his scent for the last time. We stayed like the for a few minutes before he peeled me away from him, holding my face in both of his hands.
“Look at me. I love you. I’ll call you every night and I’ll come home when I can. I love you so so so much.” Harry said, his voice deep and raspy. All I could do was nod my head, afraid that the sob in my chest would break free if I talked at this very second.
“I love you, too.” I managed to choke out, hugging him tightly again.
The intercom came back on, telling us this was the last chance for boarding the flight. Harry kissed me hard before gathering his bags. He kissed the twins’ cheeks before walking away from us. He was almost out of eye sight until he stopped and turned around, blowing me a kiss. I did the same, crying even harder at seeing the tears in his eyes as he mouthed “I love you.” I whispered it back, picking up Darcy as she started to cry, reaching for her daddy. A pained look was plain on his face as he turned away from us and disappeared down the hallway.

Notes

awww :'(