I Understand. An AU/punk story.

I smooth my dress once more before stepping back and taking a look at myself. Even though I know Louis will say I look nice I wouldn't agree.


I wished my hips were fuller, my stomach flatter, my breasts bigger. I wish my hair was as shiny as fucking Mckenzie's. I sigh and rub my eyes, I hated wearing eye makeup; just to be blatantly honest. But I think guys appreciated it to a level so I bothered myself with it tonight. I shake my head and turn from the mirror, clacking my way down the stairs to Louis who's leaning against the kitchen counter, clicking at his phone. he looks up and smiles when he sees me.

"You look gorgeous. Are you ready?" I nod and give him a light smile, taking the arm he extends as he tows me out of the house.

As we drive tot he bowling alley, I can't ignore the churning in my stomach. I know something will happen. It always does. Always....

What is he's there with another girl? What is she's prettier than me? What if he kisses her?

The thought sends chills down my spine and I shudder int he passenger seat.

This was a mistake.

Once we roll up, we can hear the music playing, people standing out on the curb, smoke circling their heads. All the individuals cluttered in ink and metal. So the usual.

He takes my hand in his, sensing my nerves.

"You OK?" He asks for the fifth time as he opens the door for me. The smell of sex and drugs hit my nose. I nod and walk in. We get quite a few looks and stares.

Harry Style's ex girlfriend with a rival gang member at his party at his place of work.

Not my finest idea.

His hand rubs soothing circles as he leads me through the people to the booth of his usual gang members. I do my best to ignore the hungry stares directed at my Lou by the troubled girls dancing and drinking.

It doesn't take long until Niall strolls over from somewhere.

"Hey, come on, Rae sent me to get you." He says in to my ear so I can hear him. I look at Louis and he smiles and nods his head. I take Niall's wrist and he leads me to Harry's gangs usual booth. The biggest and most private one. When it comes in to view I spot the pink haired Perri perched on Zayn's lap. Liam and Lauren talking to their right and Rae watching us coming, a grin on her pretty face. I smile and wave.

I almost miss the sulking green eyed ex boyfriend on the other side of the booth. Naill scoots in next to Rae; leaving me to sit directly across from Harry.

His face perks up when he sees me. His once dull and slightly fogged eyes now lived and clear as he stares at me intensely across the ceramic, black, table in between us. My foot bumps his and I swear he want's to smile just from the simple touch.

"Hey, bae! I made my Nilla come get you so you wouldn't have to be stuck with those girls." Rae giggles, talking about Mariah, Beth and Angels. I stifle a lagh and shake my head.

"They're pretty nice. You would like them." I tell her. I can feel Perri's eyes on me but i ignore her gaze, still frustrated about the whole set up just a few days ago when we all thought Harry wouldn't be at Nialls.. Not cool.

"Hmm, I'm sure." Rae playfully rolls her eyes at me and I giggle. "When are you coming back home?" Rae asks over my giggles and I choke lightly on my breath.

You see what I mean?

"Umm.." I mumble, scratching my head. "Not sure." I admit, not meeting their eyes, turning my head away from them.

"Well I hope it's soon. I miss you. We all do." Lauren chirps, everyone nods in agreement and I give a weak smile to my friends. Something hot like a burning ember scalds my insides lightly. My wonderful friends.. I inwardly groan.

When was I leaving Louis's place?

I don't want to. That's for sure. The thought of spending a whole night tossing and turning all alone makes me so insanely sad.

But I haven't even asked him about leaving. What? Was I just going to live there for forever?

"Yeah, I really don't know." I shrug. Right as the words leave my lips Harry gets up and storms off with out a word to anyone. I watch him go.

It's hard to fathom that man was once my entire existence and in a few short hours accompanied by a few unknown confessions. Became nothing to me.

You don't mean that....

I know but I wish I did...

"Well you take your time and think about it, bae." Lauren smiles reassuringly, snapping my out of my loamy thoughts. I nod and smile. It's funny how Lauren and I used to hate each other so damn much and now I couldn't imagine her not being my friend.

"How about drinks?" Zayn offers, looking to all of us.

Eh, why not?

-

A few hours later and I'm drunk but not completely trashed. A happy medium I guess. The girls and I are laughing. The building still packed. I haven't seen Louis or Harry since leaving him and the other storming off.

And that's OK with me!

Less boy drama the better.

I sip my fruity thing happily and look around.

"I'm gonna dance!" Perri announces, drunk as well.

Boo. I don't wanna dance. My feet hurt like a mother fricker in these shoes.

"No!" I whine as all of the girls get up.

"Too bad!" They laugh obnoxiously at my expense and pinch my cheeks as they run off; leaving me to my yummy drink.

Oh well.

I find myself humming a song. I don't know which one. But a song none the less.

"La da de da de." I vocalize, swaying to side to side.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Someone laughs. I scream and jump; spinning around to find my meanie ex.

"Ugh, it's you!" I exclaim. He scowls and I smile my best smile. He was just too pretty to not smile! Haha. Harry's a pretty boy!!

"Where are the girls?" He asks.

"They left me here! Those bitches!" I exclaim, throwing my palms in the air making my drink splash on my lap a little. He chuckles and sits across from me.

I sigh happily and drop my head in to my arms.

"I'm hungry." I tell him, looking up with my puppy eyes. He raises his eyebrows and smirks.

"How can you be hungry?" He chuckles. I frown.

"Are you calling me fat?" I whisper yell. Oh, drunk mind.

"WHat? No!" He yells, looking at me with a shit ton of confusion.

"Why are you yelling at me?" I snap. "You always yell at me like iI'm a little girl. We aren't even together and here you are! Yelling at me! Calling me fat!" I ask bewildered, attempting to take a drink form my cup until he snatches it away.

"You aren't supposed to drink." His eyes are dark and his face twisted in anger.

"You are no fun." I pout, slouching down in to the booth, putting my feet on the seat next to them.

"Oh and Louis is?" He laughs meanly and glares at me, his hands crossed over the table. "Are you guys even dating?" He presses, his terrible smirk plastered on his smug face. My eyebrows furrow. Sadness taking over me.

"Why are you mean to me? I'm leaving. I want food and I wanna go to bed!" I yell back, standing up clumsily.

"Wait, Lilian, sorry!" He yells. I shake my head and scurry away. He was a meanie. Always so mean to me. I just wanted him to be nice.

I head back to the booth I left Louis and his friends in and find it filled with strangers.

Cue whine. I stomp my heel. Where was Louis? I wanna go home. I wander around for fricken daaayyss! But no! no Louis. No one I know.

A few guys whistle at me but I ignore them. I just want to sleeeppp!!

What now? Did he leave me here? I feel a tear slip. Why would he leave me? I whimper and push my way through the people.

I have a sudden urge to see my dogs. They would cuddle me. And they wouldn't ever leave me stranded!

Next thing I know my eyes fall on a mop of curls. Harry! Harry will take me home! He looks upset and he keeps looking around him, rushing through the people.

I run up to him and fall on to his side.

"Harry, Louis left me here!" I whine, squeezing his upper arm. He jumps at first and then he gets all crabby.

"What do you mean?" He asks, outraged beyond belief.

"I looked everywhere! He's gone!" I whimper, dropping my suddenly heavy head on his shoulder.

"Oh, Lilian.." he whispers. Then his nice arm wraps around me.

"I'll take you home."

Notes