I Understand. An AU/punk story.

I get in the car and slam the door, Louis taking no time in starting the engine, ripping pavement as he drives off.

His hand finds mine and squeezes tightly.

"Are you OK?" he mumbles. I nod once and look out my window.

I want to sleep.

Sleep and sleep and sleep.

How on gods green earth was this fair?

I was in desperate love with Harry and I will never get to be with him again.

Then you have one of the truest most loyal men I have ever met and he loves me, and don't get me wrong, I love him too .... But he has to sit here and wait for me. Because he knows I still am in love with the first man...

Maybe I'm feeling all of this hurt... this bad karma.. because I'm forcing Louis along with me in it.

I'm hurting him like Harry's hurting me but on different terms and I fucking hate it.

When we arrive to the house he takes my hand and leads me to the room. I felt numb again...

I didn't want to cry for Harry in front of Louis..

That wasn't fair to him.

I wouldn't do that.

I plop on to the edge of the bed and he kneels in front of me.

"Are you OK?" he asks softly, kissing my knuckles. I nod and give him a half smile..."If you're not, its alright.." he whispers, gently kissing the corner of my mouth. I sigh and shake my head. "Are you ready for bed?"I nod and he doesn't waste a moment in picking up my legs and sliding my heels off, followed by sliding my bangles off my wrists.

After putting them on the dresser he comes back to me, takes my hands and stands me up. With a swift movement he reaches around and pulls the zipper down, making my dress pool to the floor over my feet. I blush when his eyes take in my fleshy curves.

He leaves my side for a second to rid himself of his shoes, pants, and shirts before wrapping his arms around me and pulling me back tot he bed and up to the pillows.

Laying me down on my back first he leaves for a second to grab the quilt. Pulling it over us he lays partially over me, keeping most of his waist up with his arm.

"Are you alright?" He whispers, cupping my cheek. I nod, once again, and put my hands on his shoulder.
I would be lying is I didn't feel how needy he really was tonight through his black Calvin Kleins. I swallow and watch him intently. "I'm sorry he talked to you that way.." He trails off squeezing my side lightly before kissing my forehead.

"It's OK, it's not your fault." I whisper underneath him. I hated when he felt bad for me like this. it was the only time I really saw this big bad ass vulnerable and it was strange to me. I was almost too used to him taking care of me that it was strange when I would need to comfort him...

I take my hand up and run it through his messy light brown hair. He hums in contentment from my touch.

"Kiss me goodnight?" I ask him quietly. He smiles down at me, his perfect teeth lighting up the room before he presses his mouth to mine.

I relax under his touch as the kiss is delayed by the both of us.

His tongue sweeps along my bottom lip, asking for entrance which I grant.

His tongue massages mine and his weight increases slightly as both of his arms tightly wrap around my hips. He groans lightly when I hook a leg over his hip, placing his hard on over my sex.

I wrap my arms tighter around his neck, wanting to feel his skin over mine.

His lips leave mine to start leaving kisses down my neck bringing me straight to the other side.

"Louis.." I breathe, wrapping my fingers in his hair tightly fisting it as he kisses down my bra clad chest between the curve of my cleavage, gently nipping and teasing with his tongue until his perfect mouth meets my stomach. My breath hitches, and not in a good way, when his teeth start playing with the top of my panties.

"Do you want me?" He asks quietly, looking up at me, a sweet smile on his face. I swallow hard on the lump in my throat.. we weren't even dating and he was offering to go down on me...

"Not yet..." I whimper. he smiles, kisses my belly button and then comes back up to face level with me, pecking my mouth, hugging me close to his chest. "Sorry..." I whisper in to his shoulder. A deep chuckle rumbles through his bones.

"Why? Don't be, silly girl." He reassures me with another smile. I nod and he puts his mouth back on mine, kissing me sweetly. I nibble on his bottom lip and the heat picks right back up. I pull him over me so most of his weight presses down on me, both of my legs hooking on to his waist, his very prominent bulge exactly where it should be.

I moan light when his hips rock on mine gently. A flood of warmth and butterflies caressing my insides, the wetness between my legs is undeniable.

His hands trail up and down my sides, sending shivers down my spine. His right hand stops its stroking to creep down between my legs where he starts rubbing slow circles through the thin cloth. I moan again and drop my head back, waves of pleasure making me shudder. I kiss his neck and leave a red flower and he groans in approval.

"Baby, this is great but if we keep going its going to suck to stop..." he breathes,s topping his hand movements. I freeze, the warmth that was building in my stomach slowing down rapidly.

He's right.

One thing would lead to another and I'm not ready to sleep with him...

"Yeah, you're right.." I breath, searching his face for signs of anger.

"Lets just go to bed, OK?" He asks with a reassuring smile.

I nod and he rolls off of em gently, landing on his side, his arms ensnare my waist as he pulls me to his chest. We lay in silence for a few moments while we try to catch our breath.

"Are you mad?" I whisper to him, not looking in to his eyes.

"No.. why would I be?" he whispers back, puling me even closer in to his bare chest.

"I dunno.." I admit. But I did know...

I can't help but recall the times I told Harry no and how he had yelled at me and stormed off or made me leave.....

"he used to yell at you.. didn't he?" He whispers even softer. I turn my head and look at him. His eyes not judgmental.. just sad....

"Yeah.." I breathe, looking at the ceiling.

Talking about Harry with Louis made me feel weird...

Even though I wasn't with Harry; my mind was constantly on him and I still have this big part in me that's constantly effected from him that it felt like we were together...

And then Lou and I were basically living together...

So I was pretty much with him.....

It was just weird...

"I'm not Harry. I would never get mad over something as petty as sex." Louis tells me. I look back to him and smile, knowing he means it.

"I know..." He kisses me mouth one more time, gently, before closing his eyes and snuggling him in to me, leaving me to think and leaving me to another sleepless night...

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