I Understand. An AU/punk story.

Lily's P.O.V.

I sit there, spinning on my stool, sipping my water, which is not doing it's job very well, might I say, thinking about him..

I know I shouldn't be, but I am.

I keep thinking about not loving him anymore one day and it feel's strange.

Just loving Louis?

I think that could work with me. I might have a chance at happiness.

And suddenly I decide.. I wan't a shot at happiness. I don't want to love someone who doesn't love me. Someone who betrays me, someone who ruined me. It hurts too much.

I can't be with him anymore.

I can't be with him mentally or physically.

I need to move on.

I need to be with Louis and I need to get over him...

Or I never will...

On cue a tall and familiar form makes it's way to me. I smile as his pretty blue/green eyes meet mine.

"There you are, I was so worried!" Louis gushes when he reaches me, wrapping his arms around my waist as I sit on my booth. I shrug and giggle and spin in my chair, looking up at him. "Where did you go?" He asks with a light smile, but there's sheer concern in his eyes.

"To get some water! I got lost!" I tell him sadly.

"Are you hurt? Did anyone talk to you?" He presses, squeezing my hips slightly, searching my eyes for truth.

"Nope." I pop my P and squint up at him. "You're always here for me, Louis." I say softly. A light smile tugs his lips again.

"I guess.." He says, smirking lightly.

"Yeah.." I trail off with a sigh, clicking my shoes together, dropping my head on to his chest, closing my eyes.

"Are you OK?" He asks, peeling back so I can look at him.

"yeah, I'm just sleepppyyy." I tell him, pouting my bottom lip. He laughs and smiles down.

"Lets go home, OK?" I smile and nods my heavy head. He takes my hand and helps me down form my stool. I stay stuck in place when he tries to pull me along. "What?" He asks, turning back to me, confusion etched on his perfect face.

"Cary me!" I whine, holding my arms out. He laughs and obeys, swinging me up bridal style before making his way through the people and outside, dropping in his passenger seat before jogging to the drivers seat.

I was lucky to have him.

Harry's P.O.V

As I make my way to her, I freeze when Louis stops in front of her, me merely a few feet away. He looks nervous and concerned as he rushes up to her. A big beautiful smile erupts on her face when she sees him and I feel a surge of jealousy. She used to look at me that way.

God I love her.

I love her so much it hurts.

I lover her so damn much...

So much that it kills me when I realize..

I need to let her go.

I look at Lou as he talks to her. He loves her. The difference being he can take care of her and make her happy and I can't and she fucking deserves to be happy...

I can't trick her in to coming back to me..

That not fair to her. I won't do it..

I early lose it as she lays her head on him and closes her eyes, the liquor making her tired. But I did it. I ruined it. It's my fault and I can't be mad at him or her for it.....

I want her more than I have or ever will want someone....

But I don't think I can do this to her anymore...

I can't keep hurting her...

No. don't back out. Fight for her. Fucking make something of yourself and march over there!

My subconscious yells, but I don't move. I'm not good enough for her. And I can't make her suffer so I can be happy. I watch in horror as he picks her up.

He loves her so much...

She loves him.

She might love me more. But she shouldn't I haven't given her a reason to.. I swallow and watch him carry her through the people and outside.


And I don't follow.....

Even though everything in me tells me to.

I don't.

I can't keep dragging her down.

Being with me drags her down.

Lily's P.O.V.

Once he starts the car, I flip the console up and crawl to the middle seat, dropping my head on to him as he drives, he chuckles and wraps an arm around me, pulling me closer. I close my eyes and wrap my arms around his torso, managing to fall asleep.

When I wake up I'm in a dark room.

"Louis?" I mumble, searching around as he lays me on his bed.

"Shh, go to sleep." He hums, taking my heels off of me as well as my jewelry

"I'm not tired." I pout., surprising him by taking his hand and pulling him closer to me so he lays down over me gently.

"I'm sure." He laughs. I smile sleepily and stare up at him, mesmerized by his eyes.. I know what I need to do. A part of me wants to and the other is terrified. But I need to.

He will never wan't you.

He never did.

And you love him but you know it's no use.

No use.

You love Louis and he loves you.

My subconscious reminds me. I swallow hard and wrap my arms around his shoulders.

"W-will you take my dress off?" I ask him quietly. He's silent for a moment but nods the next, taking my hands, and pulling in to a sitting position, Louis finds the hem of my dress and slips it over my head. We sit there for a minute, him kneeling between my legs and me breathing hard.

I take his face in my hands and gently pull his face to mine, his lips are sweet and gentle on mine as his hands travel to my waist, pulling out chests together. I sigh happily and wrap my legs around his hips, pulling him down on to me.

He continues to kiss me, putting his hand on my lower back, pushing us closer together as I peel his shirt off of him. I push him on his back and straddle his hip, fumbling with belt buckle as his hands trace patterns up my sides.

I start feeling overwhelmed.

Can I really do this?

I sniffle and continue to try to pry his belt off.

Why the fuck won't it come off?

"Lily?" He whispers softly, his fingers stopping. I look up and meet his gaze. "Let's just go to bed." He says. Rejections washes over me...

He didn't want to sleep with me?

"W-what?" I stammer, my hands stopping their actions.

"I think it would just be best if we went to sleep." he says, pulling me off of him.

"Oh.." I breathe, he didn't want to...

I lay down slowly, trying to keep my emotions in check. He lays down behind me and wraps his arms around my hips, pulling me close to him. I cringe from his touch.

"What?" He whispers, confused by my actions. I shake my head and close my eyes.

This night has gone terrible.

Just terrible.

Harry's P.O.V.

"I can't believe you didn't!" Perri yells, back at her place with our friends.

"She deserves to be happy.'' Is all I can muster. She stops her pacing and looks down at me.

"What?"

"She deserves to be happy." I says again, looking at the floor.

"She was happy with you!" She yells, throwing her hands in the air.

"She would be happier with him." I sigh

"I can't fucking believe you." She spits. "You're fucking giving up on her! How can you say you love her and then give up on her?!" She yells.

"Don't try to understand it. I do love her. I always will. That's exactly why I need to let her be. If were meant to be.. then it will work out." I hate those words on my mouth.

I want nothing more than to run to her and beg for her back...

"Harry! She thinks you didn't ever want her! She will never come back unless you let her know you want her to!'' She yells, cuffing me in the head.

"How the fuck do you know that?"

"I'm a female and so is she. Not to mention she's my best friend!" She growls, growing irritated with me.

"I don't think I can just flat out tell her I want her back.. she would lose it.'' I mumble. She groans and drops on the couch next to me.

"Honestly Harry, you're such a pussy!" She yells, covering her face.

"I love her, Perri. And I want whats best for her. And that's not me."

"I understand that you think that... that doesn't mean that you get to decide what she chooses." She snaps.

"Fair enough, but I can influence her choices." I tell her, leaning back.

"I can't believe you're giving up on her." Her voice grim.

"I'm not.... I'll still be there until she chooses what she really wants." I huff.

"You know what she really wants? Do you know what all girls want? They want that stupid fairy tale ending. They want the guy to ride in on his horse and rescue her. She wants you to sweep in and promise it will never happen again, and make her believe you and then have you two live happily ever after. She wants you to fight for her. It's what we all want."

Notes