I Understand. An AU/punk story.

Waking in the morning I look up and find Harry getting dressed.

"No! Take it off and get over here!" I pout, reaching a hand over to him. He laughs and walks over to em in nothing but his jeans, leaning over he leaves a wet kiss on my mouth. I sigh happily ans sit up. Not wanting to get ready but doing it anyways.

http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=108267239

And I must say, I did look damn good today. I strut in to the kitchen where Perri, Rae and Harry are waiting.

"Damn!" Rae yells when I come out and sit on Harry's lap. I just laugh and smile and shrug. They go about and busy themselves in the living room and Harry's hand creep dangerously close to a hardly acceptable place.

"If we were alone, I would take you right here and right now. You look amazing." He growls. I blush and slap his hand away from me.

"Hey, love birds, party at Niall's." Rae tells us. I was glad to hear, Niall's parties were always real fun. So it never bothered me when Harry and I both got smashed drunk.

"That should be fun." I announce, Harry and Perri agree. My phone buzzes in my pocket.

From:Louis(:

I know you're both pissed, just hear me out?? Please? We used to be so close, L. Honestly, what the hell happened. I miss you and last night that took over what I did. I'm sorry.

I frown down at my screen, knowing Harry is reading the text too. He doesn't say anything though, hes waiting for me to reply. But I don't know how to reply. I don't know how to converse with him anymore because I felt like I didn't even know Louis anymore.

I thought back to high school. When I first saw Harry he was with Louis in Chemistry. His bright blue eyes, my mind fast forwards to laying in bed with him after Harry yelled at me. No, all of the times I went to him for comfort. And some time between chemistry that first day here and laying in bed with him we fell in love. But it was short lived because I was Harry's girl. And Harry was my guy. And Louis was left with the short stick. My eyes grow misty and clouded as I keep thinking. My phones buzzes.

From:Louis(:

I know deep down you still love me. And you know I still love you. If I can't have you all to myself I can live with it. But not having you at all kills me. Please, Lily. Just do this for me.

Thinking back to the night I was raped and how I wanted no one except Louis. Not a soul to hold me, not Harry not Rae. I needed my Louis and he was there for me, he always was, and he always will be. And what not? All I can give back to him are short texts when I'm not busy, brief conversations at the bar. I was terrible. Something sad floods in to me and I get up from Harry's lap and excuse myself, my voice portraying how I really feel.

Rushing to my room I close the door and go to the bathroom and lock the door. Wanting to just be alone for a moment. Harry comes to the door and knocks.

"Lilian? Are you OK?" I don't answer though... I can't. Because if I do, he's going to realize what I feared all along.

I was still in love with Louis.

-

I have been a little distant from Harry all day. He knows somethings up, just not what. And I prefer to keep it that way. As we get ready for the party he comes up behind me and puts his hands on my hips as I get my makeup on.

http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=108275702

"You're too pretty for all of that shit." he frowns and puts his head on my shoulder, I let myself give him a small smile before I finish the application. "You OK?" I stop with my mascara and look at him in the mirror. For the first time today, like, really looked at him. His piercing green eyes, framed by the long dark lashes, his amazing jaw bone. I loved him. I knew that. I just feel so damn guilty having feelings for someone else while this beautiful soul and human perched on my shoulder expected me to be only his.

But I pretend that I'm not feeling the way I do; nodding I finish my eye makeup. Once I'm ready, we say bye to the dogs and make our way down to the car, leaving for Niall's. Harry takes my hand and holds it tightly the whole way there.

At our arrival I'm pleased to see a bunch of alcohol, loud music, and places to dance. I need this.

"I'll go get us drinks, wan't one?" I smile and nod and go to Perri and Rae on the dance floor. One guy pulls a strand of my hair playfully as I walk past him, I spin around to him and hes smiling, wearing the bedroom eyes.

"Fuck off!" I snap, as soon as he sees who's girlfriend I am he disappears. The girls and I start dancing after squealing about each others outfits. Harry returns to me and hands me a cup of something, I drain it with out a question. He watches me over the rim of his drink, wondering whats going on in my head.

Zayn comes around and starts a conversation with Harry and so we stand there chatting for a little bit, in the middle of it some random douche comes and smacks my ass. Harry and I turn around to him, appalled. The minute he sees Harry he runs off. Harry tries to chase him but I take his arm and hold him.

"Don't bother, no fights, OK?" Just relax." I beg him, taking his hand in mine he calms down a little bit but not much. Every guy that looks at me twice, majority, Harry spazs out on, cursing or flipping them off. All I can do is try to reign him in. He's on my heels the entire night, his mood growing more sour by the minute.

After a few hours and cups later I'm starting to feel more and more smothered by the dancing people and protective people.

"I'm going to go to the bathroom, be right back." I yell in his ear over the music. He frowns but nods, pushing past the people, a few guys try to talk to me but I ignore them, knowing Harry is watching. Going through the kitchen and down a deserted hall I find the bathroom, closing the door I lean against the sink and take a few deep breaths. Until someone knocks on the door.

"Just a moment...." I sigh, opening the door I find blue eyes staring down at me.

Well fuck.

"Lily!" Louis jumps, happy to see me. I freeze, not sure to do, under the trance of the blue eyes of the second man I love.

"Yeah, um Harry's looking for me.." I mumble, trying to push past him, he sticks a tattooed arm out, blocking my path.

"We need to talk."

"No, Lou, that's really not a good idea." Panic overwhelming me, I feel my eyes start to water.

"Please, I won't touch you. Just hear me out!" He begs, taking my hand in his.

"Louis! Stop, I need to go find Harry!" I start raising my voice, he's not listening.

"Lily, not until you listen to what I have to say!" He pleads, raising his too. I push his chest back gently, wanting and needing him to let me leave. He stumbles but regains way to quickly for my comfort, coming back me he takes a hold of my shoulders.

"Let go of me!" I yell, slapping his arms away.

"Why won't you just listen to me?!" He yells back.

"Because I already know what you're going to say and I just can't hear it!" I hiss, shoving him once more, I manage to get by him and jog out of the kitchen, he's hot on my heels though. I swing the door open and rub smack dab in to Harry's chest. He takes my shoulders, balancing me and looks over my head at Louis.

Boy was he flustered.

With out a word, Harry takes my hand and rips me away from him. Louis calls for us but he doesn't stop. ANOTHER guy grabs my ass and Harry spins around, with no regrets delivers a solid under cut to his mouth before dragging me away.

"HARRY!" I snap at him, upset by his temper. But he doesn't answer, just tows me to the stairs and rips me by people, knocking shoulders on every guy that looks at me. I scratch at his grip on me but he doesn't let go, going in to the last room on the left he slams the door and pushes me in. Here it goes.

I huff and wait for him to start screaming but he doesn't. He turns to me and crosses the room in three flat seconds, shoves me back so I fall slightly on the pool table and then crashes his mouth on to mine, his tongue instantly pushing through my lips, his hand tangled in my hair mercilessly.

It takes me a second to recover but I eventually kiss him back and take his shoulders in my arms. But his mouth is too urgent, too needy, to rough, I can barely move my mouth, he pushes me back on to the pool table felt in the dark room and rip my skirt up, giving him a full view of my wet self.

"Harry?" I whimper, a little intimidated by his sudden harshness. But he doesn't even look at me, just grabs the top of my panties and rips them off me, over my heeled foot. Taking a strong hold of my knees, he snaps my legs down to the side, his head in on me in seconds.

I let out a little yelp, confused by what hes doing and why.

But I let it go when he starts eating me out like he never has before. His mouth instantly taking my clit while he adds two fingers, not waiting for me to adjust before he starts pumping. I must say, the whole angry act and randomness of the room and moment, I'm incredibly turned on. He continues to pleasure me, it doesn't take minutes before I'm on the verge of coming undone. I'm breathing heavy and pulling his curls tightly, wanting more then his mouth.

"Harry!" I yell, he looks up at me,"Please." I beg he straightens up, pulls a condom from his wallet and has it on himself in moments, the next he's slamming in to me, making me scream. "Fuck!" He stands above me while I lay on the table, his eyes black. Of course he makes me orgasm in a minute in a half, when I'm done he pulls out, not bothering to finish himself. Leaving the room for a second to clean up, he leaves me a sweaty, pulsing, panting mess on the table. Harry comes back in a moment later, still scowling he takes my panties and pulls them back up my legs and then rips me up.

"You're mine Lilian. Not anyone else's and I'm fucking sick of people thinking any different.

Oh.

That's what this was about. Him fucking me because he's jealous. I look up at him, slightly disappointed in why he did it. He glares down at me as I catch my breath.

I can't help but feel .... wrong about what he just did to me. Using me sexually to get his 'manly' point across? Guess what babe, I can make you come faster than he can? How romantic... not. I scowl up at him, feeling slightly embarrassed, I thought this was him wanting me right here and now. A passionate quickie, if you will. All it was, was for him to prove his point to a few dumb guys who were drunk. Shaking my head I get off the table and walk out on him.

"Real mature, Harold." I mutter loud enough for him to hear.

As soon as I leave I'm mortified at the few girls giving me dirty looks, people obviously aware of what just happened. I give them a 'I could give a fuck less,' look but I do...

Once I'm down the stairs a few guys smirk and smile and even wink at me. Yeah. People knew what just happened. Louis is leaning against the wall at the foot of the stairs, giving me a sympathetic look. I just walk away then my phone rings.

"Hello?"

"Hey, it's Rhonda. Um.. I really hate to ask you but... Can you please come watch Audrey, something came up and I need to leave for a few hours. It's really important."

"I'm at a party but if you come get me I would love to." I tell her, wanting to be out of here.

"Oh thank god, where is it?" She breathes. I tell her Nialls address and storms outside, waiting for my escape act to arrive.

Notes