I Understand. An AU/punk story.

I storm off and ignore all of them. I reach Harry's room and slam and lock the door. Sliding down the door I curl up in to a ball... If he gets hurt because of me.. I just don't know what I'll do. I really don't.

I'm so exhausted. I just want to sleep for forever. I'm in pure hell and I just wish I could wake up ans find it was all a terrible night mare.

My friends yell at each other for a good twenty to twenty five minutes. I block it out. I hear Harry saying that it's safest for me to stay here. I groan and hug my knees tighter. Soon the yelling stops and the door opens and closes.

Footsteps make their way to the bedroom. I jump up, turn the light off and drop on to the floor next to the bed. I will not be sleeping in it with him. I refuse to. He jingles the lock and knock but I don't bother getting up. I know he'll just pick it anyways. And that's what he does.

Once Harry emerges, a pool of flight enters the room.

"Lilian?" Hi voice confused and sad and.. tired. I don't answer. "Lilian, why are you on the ground?" I continue to ignore him.

He sighs and then makes his way to me, leaning on the floor next to me.

"Please don't ignore me." He whispers, leaning down to push a piece of hair out of my face. "Let's get in bed. You are not sleeping on the floor."

"Just leave me alone. I'm not sleeping in your bed. I want to go home."

"I'll sleep on the couch, please? Just sleep in my bed or at least the guest room."

"No, I'm sleeping right here on the floor." I snap. I'm being a baby but I honestly don't care. I'm too drained to care.

"You're being ridiculous." He scolds. His hands wrap under my knees and back as he attempts to pick me up.

"Harry put me down Haven't you done enough tonight!" I scream at him, slapping his arms away. His jaw falls open slightly and his eyes are sad. "I'm exhausted and I hurt everywhere. Let me sleep!" I whimper, my eyes getting misty as I plead with him.

I will not sleep in that bed.

"Let me blow up an air mattress."

"No."

"OK, I'll drag the other mattress in here."

"No!" I wipe my eyes, my voice breaking.

"The couch! I'll just get bring the couch in here!"

"Stop for the love of god!" I cry out. I know he is being dead serious but I wish he wasn't. He cares too much.

"Your body will be even more sore.." He whispers, his arm gently lands on my upper arm where he rubs up softly. His hands feel like sheer heaven on my hot skin. I grudgingly shrug the touch away.

"Let me be." I whisper before lying on the floor again. He groans and stands up, pacing the floor in front of me, ripping on his hair.

"Don't move."

Like I was seriously planning on it...

He leaves the room and returns a few moments later with a shit ton of blankets and pillows.

"Bring those back!" I snap, sitting up again.

"No. You'll freeze. I'm making you a bed!" His voice is gently but stern. I'm too tired to fight. Harry drops the stuff to the floor before coming to me. He gently picks me up and places me on the edge of his bed like a doll on a shelf. I watch as he fold a few comforters and stacks them right next to the bed and surrounds it with his pillows. His favorite included. Once done, he steps back and motions for me.

I sigh and lay down on the soft padding of blankets. Warmth and comfort instantly relax my muscles. Harry drapes the final blanket over me and then gets to his knees in front of me and then leans forward farther.

"I'm sorry about tonight. I was cruel. I should have listened and ... and ... I don't know.. Are you mad at me?" His voice is gentle and sweet ans sincere as he whispers to me softly.

"I'm too tired for this right now!" I whisper back, sniffling slightly.

"Just please! I won't be able to sleep unless you tell me if you're mad or not." His voice breaks my heart. With a soft groan I sit up , he does the same in front of me. He twiddles his thumbs and sneaks glances at me. Harry.. nervous?

"I'm not mad... I'm just upset about this. And I really want to go to sleep." I tell him, my voice shaky. He nods and tugs at his hair lightly, not sure what to say. "Lets go to sleep."

He nods and with out another word gets in to his bed as I lay my head on my pillow bed.

Sleep comes with ease.

-

Kicks, hard and brutal make my chest heave. No no no. I scream out for help as he continues to beat me to a pulp.

"Harry!" I cry out. But he's not here. Punches, his hand winds in my hair. I scream louder. Nothing. Why me?!

I gasp and fly up, my body tremoring softly. The room is still black. Just a dream. It was just a dream. I look around and realize I rolled off my bed and am now on he freezing wood floor. Shit. I shiver and hug my bare arms. Harry's quiet snores are the only noise I can hear.

"Harry?" I whisper, but he doesn't wake up.

Go back to bed. Do not do it! I know you want to!

My subconscious grills me.

And I am right. I grow the biggest urge to crawl up in that bed with him I have no self control when it comes tot hat boy and honestly I was afraid. Harry was my biggest security blanket.

I bite my lip as I wage an inner war with myself. I am freezing and exhausted and I honestly just want to be held.

I stand up in shame as I creep to his bed, wiping my wet eyes I gently lay down on the far inside of the bed. Harry is shirtless and on his stomach, his head facing the other was, the top sheet tugged tightly under his hips.

I am so fucking pathetic.

Ever so slowly I creep over to the other side of the bed and lean my head in to his side and bring my arms up to my chest to I'm pressed to his side. He stirs and I freeze as his head lifts gently off of the pillow.

I screw my eyes shut as I feel him twist slightly to look over his shoulder. He stills for a moment and I feel his eyes trained on me.

Please don't ignore me. Please pull me close. He has been so vacant with me tonight that it hurts.

The bed dips and he twists around. I keep my eyes shut as the blanket is draped over my shoulders and his warm chest comes in contact with mine.

Strong and heavily inked arms wrap around my waist. His head drops on my mine.

"Are you alright?" He whispers. Damn, he knows I'm awake. I sigh and open my eyes and am met by his own perfect orbs.

"I - I had a bad dream." I whisper. He frowns and nods.

"You wanna talk about it?"

"No.. " I whimper and drop my head in to his shoulder. He nods and his hands rub reassuringly up and down my back.

"I'm sorry this happened to you.. You don't deserve this.. any of it."

His words are so clear through the dark room that it makes me shiver. He pulls me close and his minty smell cascades over me, sending a sweet roll of intoxication in my brain.

"Neither do you.." He presses his lips to my head.

"We'll talk in the morning, I have you. You're safe with me. Go to sleep."

Notes