I Understand. An AU/punk story.

I stand there in sheer horror.

I could not let him see all of the marks he would lose it. And the fact with my gym membership and jogging. I have lost a lot of weight. I didn't want him to blow up.

"W - what?" I whimper, my eyes filling with tears as he hands me the clothes roughly. Perri calls through the door for us, followed by Lauren.

"Change. I want to see. I know there's more." His face is completely blank. His eyes black. I have never seen him so hurt, disappoint, and angry. I choke on a sob and he rolls his eyes.

Ouch.

"Nooo!" I cry and quickly turn for the door, taking the handle and turning it, the lock pops. His arms suddenly wrap around my hips roughly, he rips me back and I scream as the pain and aches trickle down my spine. I claw his hands and he drags me towards the bed. Perri runs in already screaming.

"PUT HER DOWN, HARRY!" She shrieks, her face red with anger. The boys emerge and in an instant Niall is yanking his arms off of me as I collapse in to Niall's arms. Perri comes to my side and smooths my hair.

"GET THE FUCK OUT!" Harry screams at his friends and grabs my elbow, towing me to the bathroom in his attempt to separate the two of us from them.

"harry, man. Just calm down! You're scaring her." Zayn snaps. Harry freezes and tremors rock my body as his dead eyes bore in to my soul.

"Go. Wait. In. The Other. Room." he says through his teeth. His friends give me sad looks. Sad and confused looks. As they are still in the dark with the whole situation.

I sob and bury my face in my hands as they slowly leave me and Harry alone.

"Change or I'll change you." I shove his chest away, trying to replace my sadness with anger. "Fine, have it your way." He shrugs and reaches for my shirt, yanking it up my chest. I squeal and grab it.

"OK!" I cry, clutching the clothes in my hands. He turns around and I slowly peel the shirt from my head . It drops to the floor. I continue with pulling the black tank top over my body. I sniffle as I watch him hesitantly, not wanting him to see my legs. The pants pool to my ankles and I pull up the skimpy sleep shorts.

Please do not turn around. Please. Please. I am trying to protect you. Why don't you see that?!

His shoulders are tight and I watch the violent rise and fall of his shoulders as his breathe ages war on his lungs. Then he turns.

I don't watch his face. Just the floor. I'm too ashamed to look at him.

He stumbles to me and then stops a few inches away. He stammers and swears under his breath as his fingers gently pull the tank top up to my bra line exposing my full ribs and stomach that have the worst damage.

He falls to his knees so i just my head so I won't see him as he takes in my skinny body and blue welts.

"Who. Did. This?" His voice is dry, flat. Yet full of hate and malice at the same time.

Instead of waiting for an answer his arms constrict around my upper thighs and he rests his head on my tummy.

I sob even louder as he hugs me and kissed my stomach. He looks up, waiting my answer. Little does he know I won't tell him. I shake my head and screw my eyes shut.

"Tell me!" He snarls, getting to his feet, sympathy washed clean with bruiting anger. I shake my head and attempt to pull my shirt down but he has other plans. He grabs my wrist and tows me to the door. Flinging it open I stumble in to the living room as he storms to Perri.

"I KNOW YOU KNOW! WHO DID THIS TO HER?" He screams. Guilt washes over me and I sob ever harder. Perri yells back but I block it out.

"Oh, Lilian..." He whispers. I turn and find Zayn running a finger over a bruise on my side. "What happened?" His eyes are caramel and soft, framed by lashes. Nothing but concern in his eyes. I shake my head and pull my shirt down.

"I DON'T KNOW!" Perri screams back, shoving Harry back. He turns his wrath on me and grabs my shoulders.

"You have five seconds to open your damn mouth and tell me." He spits with venom. Tremors rock my body and I shove his arms off of me. He reaches for me and pulls me back. Everyone seems to not know what to do at the moment. "LILIAN!"

"I CAN'T TELL YOU!" I howl in his face, shoving him back. I drop on the couch and continue to bawl. The couch dips down and strong arms wrap around as Harry continues to yell at me. I lean in to Niall and his arm ensnares my back, the other covering my face lightly, shielding me from the belligerent Harold.

The couch dips again and I feel petite hands rub my back as I keep crying.

"It's OK. Just him calm down." Rae whispers.

I have never loved two people more.

"STOP BABYING HER! SHE NEEDS TO TELL ME!" He scream, slamming his hand on the coffee table so hard I jump in Niall's embrace. They both squeeze me tighter.

"Harry, cut the shit. You're acting insane. Let her calm down!" Zayn says.

it goes silent for a second. I don't look up but I hear his feet grow closer to me.

"Lilian. I understand you are upset. But you need to explain. Someone hurt you and I will know this instant." his voice is deep and robotic. I shake my head in Naill's chest. Hands slap Niall off and he takes my shoulder, forcing me to see him.

My face is soaking wet, my body and yes, my heart hurts. I just want to be far away. I wish I was at the beach. Watching the stars. I hate this day. This moment. I hate this all.

He was being so cold to em and it burned like dry ice on my insides.

"I C-ca-ant... T-tell. You!" I sob, dropping my head it falls on his shoulder as he kneels between my legs.

Wheres my loving and caring Harry? Why can't he be here?

"Why not, bae?" I hear Perri whisper as she kneels next to Harry. I shake my head and my shaking hands try to wind in Harry's but he pulls away from me.

He gets up, knocking my head off of him. Perri takes his place. I don't look at him and I ignore the growing wound in the middle of my heart he is causing from his Antarctic behavior.

"I- I wa -ant to. I just C-cant." I whimper. Her eyes are sad and the again so are everyone's.

"Why?"

"He'll hu-urt you g-guys!" I drop my head on my knees.

"HE?" Harry screams, his rage back. I only cry harder.

Harry yells at me, his friends, everyone. I sit there and cry more than I have ever. My heart broken my body so sore.

"What? Am I not who you want to tell? What do you need? Me to get Louis over here?" he spits at me, pacing in front of my spot at the couch. I shake my head. "Speak, Lily." He hasn't called me by my first name all night.

"Nooo!" I cry, knotting my hands in my oink hair.

He doesn't listen.

He takes his cell out.

"Louis, come to my house. You're girlfriend is causing me a shit ton of trouble." Then the call ends. I cry only harder. I don't want Louis to see me this way.

Harry plops down on a chair with a glass of liquor while my friends soothe me and try to get me to stop bawling.

Louis arrives much to soon.

My eyes meet his gaze and his face falls. I look like shit.

"Oh my god.. What's wrong?!" He exclaims. Niall gets up so Louis can join me on the couch, wrapping me in a hug. I cry in to his neck. His hands smooth my hair.

"Make her stand." Harry says smugly. I snap my head up.

"Just stop!" I scream, my eyes are burning and my head is pounding.

Harry glares at me and I turn to Louis but it's too late. He has already spotted my arm.

"L?" He whispers, his voice sad. I rip my arm away. He stands and takes a step back, looking at my chest and arms and legs. Harry crosses the room, takes my arms gently and pulls me to my feet, pulling my top.

I don't look at Louis's face either. A few gasps and whispers fill the room and I suddenly feel like a science experiment being poked and prodded at.

"She won't tell anyone who did this." Harry says flatly.

"Honey, whats going on?" Lou's voice is soft as he takes a step closer. I don't meet his eyes even when he tries to dip his head.

"I can't tell you!" I whisper, my voice dry and raspy.

"What? Why?" He tone a little harsher. I don't answer. "Were trying to help you! Whats going on!?" His voice is getting meaner by the second. A tear falls but I quickly wipe it away.

When I don't reply he shifts his weight and has a silent conversation with Harry with his eyes.

"So what? You don't tell us and we just sit back and watch it keep happening? We want to know to help you! We're trying to protect you." Harry says, his voice still flat. But not mean.

I shake my head no.

"OK, we let this slide and then what? One day you end up like Jess or Rhonda? Fucking gone or dead?"

My heart is shredded in half.

"YOU'RE NO BETTER THAN HE IS!" I scream at Louis.

How dare he compare me to my friends. I knew that it was a probability. He didn't think I had thought about it? I thought about it constantly! I was trying to keep them safe and here he is throwing things like that in my face.

I tear my feet from their spot and run in to the bedroom. But I don't make it.

Louis grabs my elbow, his eyes mad and harsh.

"Not until you tell." His voice so cold and hard I know better.

I have no choice with these boys.

I tell them everything. Everything.

From the man and his threat to my avoiding them to the night at the bar.

I stand there and sob and gasp for air and they all stare in shock. I tell them everything and it feels good to get it open and bad to put them in danger.

"I wa-as just t-trying to help-p" I grasp.

"Oh, Lilian..' Harry breathes. I feel his head drop on my shoulder from his position behind me. I shake him off and step away.

"I hope you're both happy for making me feel like shit about myself!" I spit before running to his bedroom and slamming the bedroom door. Locking it.

Notes