rate: 8.8
idea: +
grammar: great!
advice:

So I like the idea of this story but I feel like it's very rushed. The chapters are extremely short--which is fine, but everything just happens so fast. First she runs into Liam, which is great to have at the beginning but within the next few chapters she is siblings with Louis and has found out she has cancer. I think it should just be a bit more spaced out. Give some more detail and just slow it down a bit. You have all the time in the world to write! Your grammar is spectacular and you space your dialogue out very well. I really think this is on a great path just take your time, no need to rush anything!

"We have time, there's no big rush."
-Jimi Hendrix