rate: 8.3
idea: =
grammar: great
advice:

I didn't read the whole thing but I think I got the gist of it. I like that it's from a fan girl perspective but it just seems very predictable. Your grammar is awesome! Like I said, I haven't read the whole thing so it may have a really cool twist but I think you should throw in some umphh!

Hopefully that helped and just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming! (Nemo jokes hehe)